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Archive for the ‘MEDICAL ADVOCACY’ Category

Everything I did RIGHT and the one thing I did WRONG, when calling #911 to report a #DowntownMinneapolisSafetyHazard, 2 months ago….

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(picture of Thrivent Smith Lot at 7th St and 5th Avenue in DT East, the relevance of picture will be clearer in body of blog, picture taken by me, a few months ago)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained or credentialed medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in law enforcement or public safety. I do though deal with less than ideal situations as a private citizen and as an activist, and in this instance, when calling for help from emergency responders, it did fail me. I still will always recommend when someone is or if someone they witness is in crisis, they get help immediately by calling 911 or emergency services in your country of residence.

***
May 26th, 2019, around 7:30 p.m. :
“911, What’s your emergency?”
“My name is Alissa Kasen, I live at 72- 5th Avenue, a man who’s under the influence of illegal drugs, just walked by me, stopped suddenly and started screaming that he wanted wanted to blow up my apartment building, which he’s still sitting in front of”
“Can you please repeat your name and your building address?”
“Alissa Kasen, address is 72- 5th Avenue South, I created a diversion, and am a 1/2 a block away from him, at the Thrivent parking lot at 5th and 7th and I’m telling people not to walk in front of my apartment building, after trying trying to deescalate his anger, by acknowledging the hate he’s been subjected to, being Somali and he was angry that his race has caused him issues getting jobs, a place to live and women to date and I lied and said that I, Mayor Frey, Representative Omar and Police Chief Arrodondo is working against all the the Somali hate that exists. I don’t think he has an IED on him, he’s just enraged and looking for a fight”.
“Okay, we will send a squad, right away”.

Now what I repeated above, is almost verbatim of what I told that man, as well as what I told 911. That he was enraged, I didn’t think though he had an IED on his person, I described what he looked like, 5’6, approximately 120 lbs, Somali, tan pants, blue top and he was carrying a grey  hoodie.

The issue that still haunts me, 2 months later, is that while I described him perfectly, I did NOT describe myself, which I was a a heavyset female, with slightly messy red hair and unfortunately for me,  I didn’t describe what I wore or what I looked like.

And while I knew better to go back into my building, before I cleared my block, as we have handicapped door entrances that open and close slowly and that’s why I didn’t feel safe for me to go into my apartment building because he could’ve followed me in and also presented a safety threat to the residents in my building  and as well as I texted my boyfriend who  I was waiting outside for, as he was going to pick me up for dinner and I told him NOT to go in front of my building, as there was a safety emergency in front of it,  I made that one bad mistake, that really no one could blame me for, as I described the perpetrator, I didn’t think that I’d have to describe what I looked like, at all, especially not knowing at the time I called 911, that he’d confront me again.

From where I was facing, when I was in the parking lot next to my building, there’s no way that a squad could’ve come by to address the situation without me seeing it.

And unfortunately while they never showed in the 8-10 minutes I was waiting before my boyfriend picked me up at the end of my block, that man resurfaced again, after I concluded my 911 call,  angry that I lied to him, as I got away the first time from him, lying about a friend who had a medical emergency that I had to attend to.

Also admitting while he appreciated my kindness initially with having empathy for him and the prejudices he faced, he also admitted that his first thought when he saw me, was that he wanted to kill me, when approaching me that 2nd time. And he went from being maniacally like that, to asking me to have sex, give him drugs and money and asking if he could he hang out with me.

While I eventually as fear stricken as I was, able to kindly explain, I didn’t have anything to give him, that I did feel bad for him though and he let me be, he eventually started bothering a driver waiting at the light at 5th Avenue and 7th Street next to the parking lot next to my apartment building that 2nd time he found me and by the time my boyfriend picked me up, he had moved a block a way, where he was arguing with someone else.

I didn’t call 911 back right away, once my boyfriend picked me up. I did though a few hours later, called the non emergency number for the City of Minneapolis who did say they dispatched a squad .

I’m not accusing them of lying, what I am saying, 2 months later, is maybe because I wasn’t arguing or confrontational with the  erratic illegal unstable drug addict,  the 2nd time that when he approached me again,  the police who I never saw during that time period, at least, if they actually showed, didn’t bother to get involved, with me horrifically thinking my contact with a drug enraged stranger, was consensual, just based upon what I looked like, as I couldn’t have been clearer on what that man looked like.

It still haunts me, that happened, even though I get harassed a lot, even as as unkempt female, as I look like in public frequently, that others may think I have no standards, when I’m out and about, as it’s not my idea of a good time, hanging around dealers, erratic illegal drug abusers, people prone to criminal activity and people asking me for money, sex and cigarettes all the time.

But the difference is, 2 months ago, I did call 911 for help.

So, I guess going forward, should that happen again, not only will I have to explain of what a violent drug and sex seeking perpetrator looks like, I guess I’ll have to describe myself, so a mistake isn’t made, just because I’m NOT attractive that I would want attention like that.

I love our Minneapolis First Responders, whether they be police, fire or HCMC staff.

But, I should’ve never been put in that situation. Had that man been any farther foregone, it’s not a stretch that he could’ve killed me or someone else, given how irrational and enraged he was.

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A really important warning for those who exercise at an athletic level or strive to, in really hot weather that you can actually DIE from doing that….

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(Picture of me, circa either 2004,2005 or 2006)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical professional i.e. a physician. Nor am I a currently licensed as a Certified Personal Trainer like I was from 2005-2007.

When it comes to exercise at any time for any human being, should be cleared for exercise by a physician who treats you in person and it still could help when starting out to those who are professional athletes, to still get evaluated, supervised and advised by Certified Personal Trainers and/or Exercise Physiologists.

But the reason why I am writing this blog and why I think my opinion is still needed as a former trainer, will be clear, from a medical activist point of view. Thanks!!!

***

There is a lot of things I used to do, both cardio and strength training to get that above body, 15 years ago.

The one thing I did NOT do once I started working out at an athletic level both before and after getting my certification, as a personal trainer,  was work out outdoors during a heat wave.

It had NOTHING at the time to do with the fact I had already had gastric bypass complications and issues with really bad labs, super low blood pressure and reactive hypoglycemia and those pesky gastrointestinal bleeds, as the endorphin high alone, was worth my workouts.

It had everything to do with the fact, that I knew that in addition to having to worry about increased risk dehydration and heat stroke, I also knew that it could increase my risk for exercise induced hyponatremia, that I couldn’t necessarily self diagnose, even with formal training, when in that state.

And I wasn’t going to risk it.

It’s a whole new different world now and I can understand in the digital era and in times of influencers, the multitude of reasons why people stay pretty faithful to their fitness regimens, to keep up with their fitness goals.

What I don’t understand is why anyone has to do that in extreme weather, OUTSIDE, when professional athletes have died in camp workouts and during marathons during heat waves.

And a former NFL Super Bowl champion Mitch Petrus died last Thursday night due to heatstroke, after working during the day outside.

SO, this is why I am gently reminding people that it’s not safe to be super active, even for those who are athletic when it’s super hot out  and it could potentially be fatal.

But again, we are in a different era than when I was in my fitness heyday, that’s why I’m chiming in as someone’s who’s currently a fat former disabled activist who’s credentialing as a CPT lapsed more than 12 years ago.

We live in a digital society that people think it’s okay to shame people for being fatter or thinner than they should be in the digital era, where thousands of people at once, can be subjected to hatred on what they look like.

I didn’t want to write this blog, truthfully.

I am better suited to activism where in the case where heat stroke could be a threat to vulnerable people without a voice, need to hear about the warnings.

But the public, law enforcement and media is doing a good job informing them of that.

Unfortunately, I and no one else should think that there is privilege in a case where people are able to execute actions that could be fatal to them, regardless of where they fall on the socio-economic and fitness level spectrum.

And hyponatremia is just not talked about as much as it should be.

So hear/here is your warning, if you want or choose to start or maintain some kind of fitness goals for yourself and do that when it’s oppressively hot outside, actually outside, do what you need to do, but heed the disclaimers above, that it could be fatal to you, regardless of how physically fit one is.

OR find an air conditioned place to exercise in.

Certain signs that the body gives should be heeded when in distress.

Feeling nauseous, lightheaded, headache regardless of temperature should ALWAYS be a sign to stop a workout or any kind of activity outside regardless of temperature.

The issue where exercise induced hyponatremia gets tricky, is usually it happens in those who knows about the dangers of dehydration and heatstroke, when working out when it’s super hot outside, but don’t realize that being overly hydrated can cause EIH and it can have devastating consequences, such as cardiac, renal and neurological failure, if not death.

The chance of it happening to you?

Highly unlikely.

Probably the same or less as needing a gastric bypass reversal or injuring your rotator cuff on a “Baby Annie” when testing out to get a certification  ( one has to have a certification in CPR, before testing out for a certification as  personal trainer, and because as a parent, I just got recertified in CPR and First Aid for babies, children and adults in that era, as I had a young child in home ), both things which have happened to me.

That doesn’t mean it’s not worth a warning that it’s not necessary to work out when it’s super hot outside and that we need to discuss this more.

So that innocent people don’t die / aren’t catastrophically changed physically and cognitively, as this is completely preventable, as far as when and where to work out is concerned.

And I make no apologies for wanting and wishing that a lot of heavy duty marathons/intense exercise events weren’t in the middle of Summer.

There is no privilege in anyone, if they are dead!!!

So let’s at least have a conversation about it, ok?

Note: Anything that’s NOT constructive, will NOT be posted.

Also Note: You aren’t going to convince me that a special population of people, i.e. like people who are Obese who want to work out need to in any circumstances, like highlighted above, because their Obesity is more immediately urgent to rectify.

So, don’t go there, OK???

 

 

 

How an episode of #HouseMD on You Tube, can give life saving insight on how pervasive and damaging #Obesity bias and bigotry is, way more than the disease of Obesity in itself, not just bariatric patients but in the case of #gastricbypassreversals …

 

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Important Disclaimers: WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS???

Nope… The above is an unfinished, crappy and nonsensical disclaimer.

I’m going to try again.

Important Disclaimers: I’m an ASBMS and ABMS board certified bariatric surgeon and also a licensed attorney specializing in tort law, where I concurrently hold licenses to practice medicine and law  in CA, MA, MD and MN.

Graduated high school at the age of 12, 1st in class at Harvard Law, 2nd at Harvard Medical School (which I had to sue, to block public access to my academic records and the age that I achieved them), surgical residency John Hopkins and employed as a physician at Mayo Clinic, while on sabbatical, as I just finished up my residency at Stanford, in Neuropsychopharmacology.

I believe though that patients and clients need both in person evaluation and plan of action by a licensed  practitioner   who oversees them in person…

Okay… Above 2nd attempt at disclaimer and CV is PURE fiction.

And was WAY more FUN to write!!!

As well as real life human stuff, as heartbreaking to write about, is way more interesting, at least to me, especially given the fact I’m doing this for free, but when I help be a part of saving someone’s life, that’s the reward.

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor in public safety or law enforcement. IF you or someone you know is in medical and/or mental health crisis, please seek immediate help in an appropriate facility by an appropriate credentialed expert and/or contact emergency services.

Alright, 3rd attempt I got out what I needed to.

Now, I can start this blog.

YAY!!!

NO, not really!!!

It kind of sucks, that the activism that I’m good at, that my attempt to arrest bias and bigotry which can be deadly to someone, is like trying to empty out the ocean with a freaking thimble.

***

“Not many people would have the guts to admit that they would rather be PRETTY than HEALTHY… “-  the awesome fictional  Dr. Gregory House- from t.v. show House M.D. Season 5 Episode 10 “Let Her Cake”.

“All I need to start with, is patients who are ALIVE, in my specialty of medicine, and by the time my patients find me, they’ve already been quite medically and mentally compromised by medical interventions that were meant to help save their lives, if not make them much better off in quality of life, both physically and mentally.

And if that medical intervention failed them and most of the time, a ton of psychological duress, circumstantial trauma that proceed interventions that usually led to their obesity, and/or continue on after them and most of my patients due to stigma and how people have no idea of how pervasive and damaging Obesity bigotry and bias REALLY is, but horrifically still quite awfully, still so acceptable, unless they’ve suffered it, that the suffering by post bariatric surgical patients, in dire circumstances, pales against it.

AGAIN, even in bariatric surgical patients who had the most catastrophic bariatric surgical complications.

BECAUSE, no one wants to hear how Obesity bias, even by the most well intentioned person, whether they be a physician, family member or friend, can be soul crushing in certain circumstances and in others, such as in my specialty can be deadly to a patient, if not then cause them irreversible physical and psychological harm. ” ajk/UnstapledLisa

If you think so far, this blog is a wordy nonsensical trainwreck, like I am, think again.

Most people if they choose to do activism, especially medical, where to the degree that I am, that I am trying to help save people’s lives, they had to fight an enormous medical (and usually mental health) battle by the time they find me.

The reason why I posted above House M.D. clip, is that it highlights some of the biggest obstacles that I face when I help people when dealing with the medical and psychological ramifications of serious, potentially life threatening bariatric surgical complications.

It also in the worst way possible, shows why I will never NOT be supportive of a bariatric surgical intervention, as a last resort.

I get that House M.D. , is a fictional medical drama that’s meant to entertain.

Unfortunately, there’s quite a few of us, who have in common in the episode, with the character Emmy, where we’ve been told that we need a gastric bypass reversal to save our lives or dramatically improve it.

And while like Emmy, I found exercise to be a great thing for me, as I found I got endorphin highs with intense exercise, thought I could help others with their medical and mental health find some kind of exercise could help people and that’s why I got my certification, as a personal trainer, 14 years ago, that’s all that I have in common with her.

As in my case, by the time I was told by my surgeon who suggested a gastric bypass reversal was necessary to save my life, I was ready to die and I’ve touched upon where I was medically and mentally in 2010, at the time of my reversal and will blog update how I am doing almost 9 years status post gastric bypass reversal, shortly.

But not today.

This is the deal though, in most cases, it won’t help a bariatric surgical patient who had a long term positive outcome or even a person who’s bigger, who would never have bariatric surgery watch the video.

And it will be soul crushing for anyone who’s sensitive to fat shaming and thin shaming to watch the video and read the comments on You Tube.

And this is where we are as a society, as I know full well both personally and professionally of how damaging, if not deadly the pervasiveness of fat shaming can be to anyone, but especially when someone is already in medical and/or mental health crisis after a surgical intervention for Obesity went wrong and they find either my blog or me on the internet.

Because I am to an extent, practicing both medicine and psychology without formal training and licensing, while I consider people like that, “my patients” , in the way it matters the most (to help save their lives and I don’t tell them I think of them as patients, except now you all know) , I also ask of them to be under the care of physicians, surgeons and mental health clinicians, which usually by medical crisis alone, they are.

As while I can help them navigate the unchartered experience they are having, but I don’t have the experience to have their lives soley in my hands, I don’t have the right to do that to anyone (nor do they have the right to do that to me, as it’s a enormous responsibility), no matter how well intentioned I am, no matter how high the standards I have for their lives and care.

The above paragraph would be in direct violation ethically of everything that I try to stand for as an activist and someone who wants a clear division, as physicians, surgeons, psychiatrists, psychologists and/or all or any kind of licensed/credentialed professionals who have extensive education, training before they treat patients, is what a patient in medical and mental health crisis, bariatric related or not, needs the most .

Here comes the BUT why I still do it anyways (online ONLY and with major warnings about my limitations, by not only being NOT a clinical professional but that they will need care and support from their families, friends and the reversal community that’s now online but wasn’t when I had my reversal, as well as a professional credentialed care team of physicians, surgeons and possibly psychiatrists and psychologists)  :

After dozens of times of having gastric bypass (most of them, a few of had bpd/ds, vsg, adjust lap gastric band and open non adj gastric banding) patients tell me they have major complications and their labs are in the toilet, find me because they have no quality of life or think they are going to die and their bariatric surgeon won’t perform a reversal.

Even if they have other physicians in their care team suggesting it.

Because their surgeons are afraid of them getting fat again, in physician/surgeon speak “great concern of the co-morbdities Obesity becoming a factor in declining health”.

OR

Patients who find me, where their experiencing potential life ending medical complications and want to know my reversal experience and have no problem admitting they are terrified of getting fat again.

Remember, where I said at the beginning of this blog, about 1000 words ago, I need “my patients” to be alive???

There’s only a few of us, I’m guessing, I’m really the ONLY person I know, on the internet, who’s discussing in great detail, the medical and psychological ramifications of gastric bypass complications and reversals.

There’s others, but only a few, who blog and vlog about their gastric bypass complications and/or their reversals.

The House M.D. video, could really hurt someone, if they are researching gastric bypass reversals and see the video and/or  the hateful comments directed at fat people and bariatric surgical patients, if they find that video first without finding support that exists, first.

I’m not sorry though the video exists, it gives people a terrifying glimpse, if they care about human beings and aren’t aware of trauma that usually factors in to Obesity and Anorexia, not just in the bariatric surgical community, but outside of it. It just doesn’t tell people what led to their personal experiences prior to an intervention.

You can’t legislate or hate that away and when people are hated for appearance issues, especially when it comes it comes to bariatric surgical patients, those comments on the video, are shockingly accurate of the frequency and level of hate that people experience everywhere else on social media and online and off it, as well.

Not just from their peers and family but sometimes innocently and not so innocently licensed physicians, surgeons and psychiatrists who took an oath not to do any harm.

I shouldn’t be the only to be terrified, that a fictional diagnostic team, even with a ton of snark, in the end, handled a bariatric surgical patient in medical crisis, sometimes better than they are treated in real life.

Even in the most well intentioned people, physicians or not, who do not know how to appropriately address the complexity of emotions, as well as the complexities and medical and mental health issues, that have to  be addressed in this population of people, makes it so much harder on those of us, physicians or not, who are trying to save these patients’ lives with them having the best possible short and long term outcome medically and mentally.

I’m not saying that Obesity doesn’t provide a valid reason for their to be health discussions for prevention and treatment when it happens, if a patient wants it.

But Obesity is just NEVER an acute issue in pre-operative gastric bypass reversal patients.

Note: Constructive feedback is welcomed. Please don’t waste my time or yours with not honorable intentions. Thanks!!!

Edit Note: Update on 5/25, blog needs to be overhauled, I get that it’s kind of wordy. It would be less careless for me to pull it though until it’s reworked than for me to leave it up.

Unless you’ve had to on multiple occasions have to coach a bariatric surgical patient in crisis medically (and sometimes mentally) who even after a weight loss of 200 lbs, has a bmi of 20, but that’s only because they didn’t have any reconstructive, they have a clinically trained professional in their care team, whether it be medical or mental health not show a level of compassion or actually believes that Obesity is the acute medical issue in these patients, when it’s clear that it’s not, you’d understand better why I had to go and be so hardcore, of what at stake with all this body shaming both in the bariatric surgical community or where I’m having a conversation with someone is in recovery or struggling with Anorexia who thinks everyone hates them, including fat people, which isn’t the case.

And if you haven’t done this kind of work, you wouldn’t understand just how complex it is to try and be of some kind of help to save someone’s life, in these circumstances.

Just saying be kind isn’t enough, sadly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What every new mom or any mom NEVER needs after pregnancy or childbirth, but especially after #HyperemesisGravidarum …

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, if you or someone you know is in crisis, please seek immediate professional help.

Also if profanity ridden rants, even to achieve an activism goal aren’t your style or if you can’t have children, you may not want to read this. Thanks!!!

***
What the FUCK is wrong with people???

Especially a certain population of people (well, in all fairness, in all communities now, they exist) people who can’t for some reason give unwanted advice that no one ever fucking asked for.

In this case, I’m talking to da Mommy Shamers/Bullyers.

Also in this case, I’m talking about moms with smartphones who’ve lost their fucking minds, in mean herd mentality , when Amy Schumer did a comedy show yesterday, a little over 2 weeks after giving birth to her first child.

The only thing I have in common with Amy Schumer, is that I’m Jewish, born in New York and had Hyperemesis Gravidarum in my pregnancies with my children, which is oddly the only thing I have in common with MY own mother, who is a much better person and parent than I was.

This is the deal of why I’m stepping into a fucking stupid fight that NO ONE invited me to.

Bullying and shaming can hurt people terribly.

It may not hurt Amy Schumer, it may not hurt me any longer, only because I learned after living most of my life being bullied from preschool to the present time, I don’t give a fuck what other people think of me.

Especially, especially, ESPECIALLY, if they don’t know me and they don’t have my best interests or that of my children, in mind.

And my children are old enough to let me know the rare times they get mad at me, to either by saying exactly what they don’t like about me and what they have to say or my parents, to me, is the only comments that will ever matter.

But, on the off chance you hurt another mother,  who’s trying to navigate after a horrible scary pregnancy and into new motherhood, whether it be her first kid or her fifteenth, here are some things you may want to take into consideration before you open your mouth or type something completely not needed into the internet.

Here is the insight of my pregnancies with my children, as a single never married JEWISH mother with Hyperemesis Gravidarum who worked full time:

HRH Zachary Aaron, age 26 1/2: Worked full time during customer service at a home shopping channel that rhymes with UBD. Was about a size 20 at the time of pregnancy. My co-workers who were female and had to hear me barf my guts out during the day at work in the bathroom knew how bad it was. Others figured it out by the PICC line that I didn’t try hiding in my 2nd trimester when it was summer and I wore short sleeves (like how dare I, with the ugly fat arms and all, right?)

Had one hospitalization in my first trimester, then I got my PICC and had a home health nurse at night every other day help me and was taught how to maintain the line when I had unhook it, to try and attempt to go to work.

By the time I gave birth to him, which by then the doctor who delivered him was convinced I was going defy medical science and barf him up in my 25th hour of labor, in a 2 week period of time, I moved out of my apartment, into with my VERY Jewish parents, got laid off of my job and had a baby.

I went to see people, as about a week after I had Zach, there was a get together of employees as we were laid off suddenly, they were looking at me, like they were expecting me to be THIN. I hadn’t gained any weight during my pregnancy, but I was pregnant, I didn’t have a fucking gastric bypass and have a baby, like I did with my 2nd and youngest child.

So that brings up pregnancy #2 with HRH Zoe Arielle age 16: I’m honestly NOT complaining ANYWHERE about my own circumstances or about my children, in this rant.

I got pregnant with both of my kids who I’ve always referred to as surprise blessings, they were never a mistake with bc issues (I guess in addition to having Hyperemesis like my Mom did, I absolutely fucking HATE talking about sex on the internet, possibly due to the fact I have both parents and children on here) failing.

But, I knew how scary and physically demanding a pregnancy was, WITHOUT fucking having a newly surgically altered digestive system, as I got pregnant with Zoe, 6 1/2 months after my gastric bypass.

By then, I also was working for a different company, a fucking evil health insurance company that rhymes with Benited Wealthmare. They had already tried to fire me, when trying to have my gastric bypass. I knew a problematic pregnancy in multiple ways would be hard on me, the baby and my son, who wasn’t thrilled at the age of 9 of getting a sibling, he had stopped asking for one, around the age of 2.

I was about a size 9/10 when I got pregnant with Zoe. I had to work, as I already had one child to support, while I actively sought medical care, it was harder to take time off for pregnancy complications and my employer wasn’t great about letting me throw up in the bathroom, either.

It took an epic battle in my 3rd trimester to get more medical appointments without risk of losing employment or my baby and to be able on doctor’s orders to start my maternity leave a week early and take the full 3 months and be able to return, with a longer lunch hour so I could go visit my daughter at her daycare to try and nurse her, which I would make up for starting early.

I also with Zoe when going into labor, she was already in fetal distress when I arrived at the hospital and then I went into anaphylactic shock with my 4th epidural and both Zoe and I nearly died.

Being a completely moron on how I went into labor with Zoe, I left my windows open as it was a fairly warm day in March. In fucking Minnesota. By the time we got discharged 36 hours later, my daughter went to my parents house, during the day, who lived a mile away from now what would be Zach, Zoe and I, I went home, closed windows, turned heat way up and because I didn’t gain any weight with Zoe either, was able to fit into my fitted clothes again and my chest region was huge.

It was actually easier to nurse Zoe than it was to nurse Zach, who I had to combine both nursing and bottles and I did that right from the start with Zoe, because I didn’t want her to lose weight, as it’s IMNSHO a FED baby is best.

Formula or breast milk, you do what’s best for you and your baby and I didn’t want a baby who couldn’t adapt to feeding either way.

But holy moly, I was fairly thin for me (which I would get even thinner and then fatter without being able to eat anything both before and after gastric bypass reversal).

Especially if people saw me for the first time, after I had Zoe but before I had a gastric bypass.

While I wouldn’t (nor would any physician or surgeon) recommend getting pregnant so soon after bariatric surgery, the one thing it taught me, was that my weight was my own business.

And that I fucking absolutely hated any, all and pretty much ONLY comments about my body and my  massive weight loss (and weight gain, repeat over and over again,16 years later).

Especially if my beautiful new baby and my handsome 10 year old were around.

But, if petty people would be gobsmacked because I actually lost a lot of weight, even though I had another risky pregnancy with a 2nd child, and due to another miracle, was completely healthy (and super cute and an easy baby!!!) by all means that doesn’t mean, I didn’t get a perverse satisfaction due to their pettiness.

Not to mention within a year of her birth, my complications were getting bad and while I knew we were going to get laid off in 2 months, because I had my 1st gastric bypass complication hospitalization, a few days after Zoe’s first birthday, they tried to fire me, when I returned to work, I threatened to sue and now I can say I got laid off from “Benited Wealthmare”, too, even though I’m not eligible for rehire (like I’d ever consider it.. fuck them)…

So this is my wordy ranty warning to people, if you think you are better person and better mother than I was, maybe you are.

But, bullying another mom, thinking they are indebted for  your fucking unasked  parenting wisdom and genius,  in the digital era, thrown in with any kind of snark of what a new or old mom, or anyone, looks like or does, if it doesn’t effect you or an innocent being, is really none of your fucking business.

And certainly not for you to judge.

Amy Schumer can most certainly defend herself and her provide more than most of us can, for her new baby.

As well as I’m sure her husband is an excellent father, too.

She doesn’t need me fucking  defending her.

But on the off chance the Mommy Bullying Squad does this to another mother, who can’t identify why they’re feeling bad, or they know they are in some kind of crisis that doesn’t look or isn’t pretty on the inside or outside, but doesn’t want or isn’t able to say how bad they are feeling due to stigma  and it has great consequences for a parent and possibly their children, you don’t want that on you.

Because shaming is hate, in any form, on the internet and off the internet and it potentially has horrible if not fatal consequences on others.

And I couldn’t just say that in a Tweet or without a lot of words, as a non monetized blogger who tries to help other parents in crisis not make the same mistakes I did.

There’s only a few words that should be acceptable when any women has a baby.

It’s either “Congratulations” or “or if you need any support or advice, I’m available”.

That’s it. Nothing else is helpful or necessary.

Oh, and if Amy Schumer wants to adopt this obviously adorable and charming 49 year old who has a ton of medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities, but otherwise is tons of fun ,as an older sister, I’m game.

Note: Nothing that isn’t constructive to another human will be published. Don’t waste my time or yours, ok. Thanks!!!

#ZachSobiech : Honoring him 6 years after his death…

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The Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund

Today is the 6th anniversary of Zach Sobiech’s death.

As a resident of MN, there are things that are done to honor his memory and legacy.

As I’ve said in different blogs about Zach Sobiech, I was originally made aware of him, not because I’m local, but because of a People.com article about his death, exactly 6 years ago.

The ONLY thing that I have in common with him, is that we spent time in the same medical facility, at the same time, in different medical wards, for different medical conditions, hence why I’m suited better to the activism I normally do.

Hearing about him though and learning more about his life and who he was, impacted me greatly, for the better;

It made me pay more attention to people who achieve great things, with positivity in the face of great adversity.

It made me want to be a better medical activist so that kids (or anyone for the matter) has better treatment options that are less invasive, in the face devastating medical diseases such Osteosarcoma and other cancers and/or other deadly diseases.

I mean this in the best possible way, I wish that I would’ve never heard of Zach Sobiech, the way most of us did, even though we learned in absolute tragic outcomes, good could from it.

But, I and most of us didn’t hear about him except through media.

So, I still will write about him to honor his legacy and what he achieved in such a short but well lived life, that he should’ve had much longer to live.

I will still think about him, especially in my case, where I live so close to U.S. Bank Stadium, where my 26 1/2 year old son Zach was able to witness the “Minneapolis Miracle” at the stadium and watch Superbowl 52 which took place there in Minneapolis in 2018, almost 5 years after Zach Sobiech’s death.

And I will still donate money every year, it’s not a lot, at this time of the year, until there’s a cure for Osteosarcoma.

And I hope if you can afford it, you will too.

Peace.

The #BeKindBecauseYouCantRewindHate Challenge…..

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Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in matters of law enforcement or public safety.

IF anyone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

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“I’d rather be a little nobody than an evil somebody”- Abraham Lincoln

I haven’t blogged for awhile…

Sometimes, I get to the point with school shootings, domestic homicides and plots, if not attempts that are tragically executed to kill a lot of people, are now becoming a daily event, I’ve been kind of stewing in a lot of sadness for what our society is becoming more violent, on an hourly basis.

While in da olden days when I was young, when it came to anti-bullying efforts we were stuck with “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” and we now know that neither about that adage is actually true, and we are trying now, to find ways to prevent all this violence and bullying going on, there’s one thing I’d like to suggest that might help.

I’ve never wondered why, as someone who was so bullied for so long and then that probably factored into mental health issues of why I didn’t hate others, I just hated myself.

I’ve blogged ad nauseum about the unintentional hurt it caused people I love, I don’t need to rehash it.

I never wanted hurt or harm to happen to those who’ve hated on me for the last four and half decades.

I just wanted it to STOP!!!

To help others, whether they turn hating on them inwardly or to others, the one thing I think that could help others realize that everyone has a right to a peaceful and violence free life, is trying to find one thing, and concentrate on that, about a person or a population of people, that one is predisposed to not like and find something kind, to think about them or something you might have in common, with like us being human beings and all.

That’s the only ONE part of the challenge.

The 2nd part is, while teaching kindness in our society and the sanctity of life, is just as, if not more important and imperative as it’s ever been, the second part is more of an actual challenge.

What and who you choose to find kind things to say about, keep it to yourself.

If you want to do something public, positive, proactive and productive, make your social media and offline spaces “hate-free” zones.

“The best way to destroy your enemy is to make them your friend”- Abraham Lincoln

Okay, maybe that’s asking too much.

Not everyone can be friends with each other.

But, WE all can make an effort NOT to make people their enemy, and have active hate campaigns, both in words and in actions to people, just because they are of different races, cultures, gender identification, religion, weight,ideologies and political affiliations than ourselves.

And it’s not terribly difficult, even with someone you may have major differences in almost everything with, to find ONE good thing about them.

And just concentrate on that and their right, just like your own, to a peaceful and violence free life.

Because, you don’t just have to choose from being a little or big nobody and an evil somebody, you can be your authentic true self, who’s not perfect but is a good somebody.

Just don’t participate in hate of ANY kind in the world.

“Whatever you are, be a good one”- Abraham Lincoln

 

What requires the most urgency at this point in time: Falsely reported hate crimes or INITIATIVES to try to prevent planned hate massacres???

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Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional. Nor am I trained in matters of public safety or law enforcement.
IF you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

The above quote I posted, unfortunately is outdated.

We’re past the point of being at risk of “will collapse” and we’ve arrived that it is collapsing, others disregard or hatred of humans that’s leading to senseless murders and massacres that are almost happening on a daily basis.

In no way am I trying to dismiss the importance of a need to have a deterrence for falsely reported hate crimes, as in the case of what happened with Jussie Smollet who’s facing potential felony charges for allegedly doing that.

I’m also not discounting of the harm and hurt he did to more conservative people.

And not only that, going forward, just like in the past with attacks on both white people and black people in the LGBTQ community, there’s also the chance of increasing disbelief of victims, when crimes of this nature due ACTUALLY occur.

The thing though is, I do believe that making it a felony will deter in the future, attempts to gain public attention/sympathy, waste public resources for those who could be capable of making a false claim of a hate crime, going forward.

What cannot be legislated away, is something else that was reported in the news yesterday, that a Coast Guard employee, Lt. Christopher Hasson was apprehended and in that investigation, the little that’s been released he planned on murdering as many innocent civilians, democratic politicians and cable news anchors that he had on a list.

Six days ago, 5 people were murdered by an ex-coworker who was enraged at losing his job in Aurora, Illinois.

Which was the 39th mass shooting in 2019.

And you have to say Aurora, Illinois, not to confuse the massacre in Aurora, Colorado in 2012 where 12 people were murdered, 70 injured which was the 3rd largest gun massacre in U.S. modern history.

When the news broke last night of the extent that Christopher Hasson planned on killing as many people as he could, I happened to see it on CNN and something that now I can’t shake  and propelling me to write this.

One of the contributors said, “It was good thing that this person made a mistake”.

If I thought that he was a potential lone isolated incident, I’d still be scared for how many senseless tragedies that are happening but not to the extent where it’s been quoted he wanted to kill “almost everybody”, but what’s scaring me, is what if he IS NOT an isolated situation?

What if now, though, there are others who are diabolically planning massacres will try harder to prevent any detection, so they can actually execute these heinous massacres of innocent people?

You can’t prevent with legislation that’s going to have a chance in reducing these tragedies, mass murderers do not fear consequences, quite a few of them in the past were willing to die for what ever evil cause they are thinking they have to avenge, or as in this case hating almost everybody that goes beyond just being a White Supremacist, as there was more than anti-semitism, Islamophobia, anti-gay and left leaning political hatred in his desire to do try and plan an atrocity to the extent such as what he was planning.

I get a lot of crap for NOT totally blaming guns in situations like this from people who do lean more to the left.

I get the occasional death threat or comment that I should kill myself  from people who lean more to the right, for making the comment that I don’t know why the NRA can’t denounce these kind of horrific crimes.

I have no problem with them defending their members who use guns responsibly and rationally.

I have people who I adore who are members of the NRA and they are good people.

How hard is it though to take a stance that they don’t want mass murderers as their members (even if they aren’t members of the NRA, they don’t care about responsible gun ownership like many members of the NRA do)  not condemning potentially endorses dangerous and deadly behaviors (I’m not saying the NRA is responsible for those murders) for those who are so misguided in thinking that they are right to something so heinous, that they may be under the misguided belief that the NRA thinks it’s ok, if not commendable.

But it needs to be said, guns in these tragedies are weapon of choice, unfortunately there are enough massacres that have occurred in people who did obtain guns legally or had no legal or mental history that would be cause for alarm to suspect some of these murderers of  wanting to commit these massacres.

As well as deadly massacres that weren’t executed with guns.

IF we can’t come together in our society to try to find solutions to try and prevent these tragedies happening over and over again, we will go from active shooter situations, to active bombers and mass murderers planning to kill as many people as possibly with something other than a gun, in the future.

I only hope I’m so wrong about this.

But there are too many mass murders that have occurred in the last 10 years alone that show hate and rage  is NOT only increasing, intensifying and more divisive than ever, it’s becoming way more deadly.

We have to do something on a major scale in hopes for prevention and reduction of these horrific tragedies and we have to do it, NOW.

Note: I’m amenable to constructive criticism. Save the hate, though. I think the best way to look at what I’m trying to get across, is coming up with national and global initiatives on prevention of massacres, will hopefully save lives and the lives it could save, could be yours or someone you love.

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