It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘Public Safety’ Category

#Toronto

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***Disclaimers: AGAIN, I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, NOR do I have an educational or credentialed backround in ANY way, in public safety or law enforcement.

I’m not going to touch upon the horrific terrorism that killed 10 people yesterday and injured approximately 15 people, in Toronto, Canada, yesterday.

Nor am I looking to discuss where I’ve seen briefly on social media, that this particular tragedy could be used to promote a pro-gun agenda (which I’m not necessarily against except when I am, as discussed ad nauseum in other blogs) nor am I looking for the actions of a police officer, who was reluctant to possibly shoot an armed suspected mass murderer, to make a point for those officers in the U.S. who’ve shot unarmed civilians, where others are using this tragedy to make a point for that cause, as well.

I’ll actually be surprisingly on point, with a serious opinion and whether it warrants a future discussion by law enforcement professionals in future similar situations, on the off chance, I’ve missed similar opinions to mine***

I’m sure that my blogs and my skill sets ARE NOT going to have anyone in law enforcement or public safety, locally, nationally or globally, in a hurry to hire me, anytime soon.

It’s not for me to say, in yesterday’s horrific tragedy, whether or not, the Toronto police officer who captured a mass murderer/domestic terrorist, of whether his judgement was off in NOT shooting the suspect.

That Toronto police officer, is a HERO.

BUT, I have GRAVE concerns, that this could set a dangerous precedent in future tragedies, because if someone has the ability and desire to kill as many innocent people going about their day, as possible, they’d have NO problem, shooting an a police officer, when apprehended.

I’m going to have to assume, that police officers, whether in the United States or globally, when faced in dangerous situations, will use their best judgement in life or death situations, with others or in the matters of their own lives, when at risk.

I’m not trying to take away anything from a heroic officer, but because I feel that his exact judgement in another circumstance could lead to a police officer fatality/fatalities and/or more civilian fatalities, on what was already a horrific tragedy.

I AM just saying this perhaps warrants further discussion in the law enforcement communities, globally  AND how it’s being reported by multiple media outlets, of when police officers choose to or not, shoot potentially armed violent criminals.

Note: I will NOT publish anything that’s not constructive. I have NO problem being usually a wordy anti-homicide activist who cares about innocent people and law enforcement, especially in life or death situations. Thanks!!!

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“Emotional Self Defense”??? #MLK50 #YouTubeShooting….

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Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically or credentially  trained professional in medical, mental health, law enforcement and/or  in public safety. IF anyone you know is in crisis and is a danger to themselves or others,  please contact law enforcement immediately, on my previous blog to this one, I have dozens of national links and one global link on my previous blog.

Unfortunately, the above disclaimer wouldn’t have done any good, yesterday.

I’m talking about the attempted potential mass murder and suicide of a shooter at the You Tube Headquarters in San Bruno, California, yesterday.

Her family did the right thing.

And this blog and my intentions isn’t to cast blame on anyone but the shooter.

And ask once again, could’ve anything been done to prevent this, well with initiatives, at least and what they need to look like, at this point.

But because as an activist, while I rely on quotes and the work of Dr. Martin Luther King, to help inspire me. I’m going to look at using some of his work, to help in hopes that at least some of these tragedies can possibly be prevented, that go beyond gun control and mental health awareness, which I believe in, I just don’t believe it’s enough.

On this 50th anniversary of MLK’s assassination, I’m looking to his work tonight, to bring out his wisdom and kindness in such a scary digital age, 5 decades later to see if any of these tragedies can be prevented, possibly.

I had thought yesterday after the shooting and the news coverage, once the shooter was identified as being dead, I’d leave this alone.

I spent yesterday morning running errands and had an afternoon appointment when I came home to decompress and lots of times I do that by watching You Tube, as I have a paid account (YouTube Red) and no cable.

Only when taking a quick break to check on email, about 20 minutes after it started to trend about an active shooter situation.

But the motives and end results, where in this case, one of the victims is still in critical condition, these happen too often with different motives of the shooter and different degrees of horrifying end outcomes.

I spent most of my morning yesterday, explaining in random details to the person helping me run errands, prior to the tragedy yesterday, of explaining why I do something in regards to murder/suicide prevention, as a blogger and activist.

I don’t think I’m the most qualified (hardly), but it’s something that’s now almost becoming a daily horrifying tragedy in the United States with varying opinions arguing who’s the more right but no professional insight from those trained in dealing with abnormal/trauma psychiatry or psychology.

The above quote by MLK I think could do a lot in preventing these tragedies from occurring, as far as teaching forgiveness, kindness and empathy and and how to productively deal with rejection and rage, from the time people are young.

But when talking about this tragedy on Facebook, I brought up something and it’s something to consider.

I have to wonder if some of these tragedies are based in an abhorrent/abnormal mindset of “emotional self defense” of the worst kind.

Meaning people when feeling wronged, it’s okay to be upset, it’s not okay to take away people’s inherent right to peace of mind, not at the expense of others, nor at the expense of human life, EXCEPT when people are in a situation of mortal danger, but some people are not seeming to rationally realize this, at this point.

I have the expression about myself that I’m “damaged but not dangerous” and while there’s a lot of things I don’t like about myself or my life and while I’m pondering if there’s more I can do to be a more productive human being, I can say that trying to help people learn in a constructive way, from my own personal tragedies, may have not led to physical wealth and the ultimate in personal success, but I can feel at least a small sense of pride, that what I went through, it wasn’t in vain.

And I’m not saying that all people should be this way, I do believe people have to find their own way in the world, but whether or not someone is capable of forgiveness, they shouldn’t be capable of such short sighted but irrevocable revenge, especially when it comes to loss of life, in situations that aren’t literally a matter of life or death, if EVER.

As I’ve said before in previous blogs, I use the internet to have some quality of life, I don’t think it’s good for people who even make a living on social media, to make a life or live life on the multiple platforms of social media, that are now available to us.

And that mental health and/or fitness (which yes, it’s possible, even when having different mental illnesses) and agility, is EQUALLY important as physical health.

And also as I’ve said in recent blogs and blogs for years now, on the topic of mass murder and murder/suicide rooted in rejection and rage (or for ANY reason), teaching that there is no shame in getting help for oneself and maybe we need to teach people how to help themselves, get acute professional help, whenever it’s possible, before they hurt and/or kill themselves and others.

So when I’m sad that we live in such a divided angry society with a growing daily body count of innocent others, I’m going to continue to ask myself “What would MLK do???”.

So that he didn’t die in vain and the many people now, who are continuing to die because of deadly violent rage.

And maybe it would help others, to do the same.

Peace….

Note: Blog being published on 4-4-2018. Constructive input welcomed. No hate, please.

And while it makes me nauseous to have to say this, if one can’t find comfort and wisdom in the works of MLK, there’s always Mr. Rogers, K?

Thanks!!!

Justice is NOW in the perspective of the beholder: The death of Justine Damond vs. the charges of former officer Mohamed Noor…

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Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained professional nor am I credentialed in matters of law enforcement, law or public safety.

That doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to an opinion, as a disabled activist of sorts, especially in matters of life or death or trying to prevent a tragedy, which in the case of Justine Damond’s death, that I don’t cause more harm to all of us who hurt because of it, especially Justine’s loved ones, in the unlikely event that this blog makes it on their radar.

In my case though, as an activist where I think more in shades of grey versus black or white, in matters (as well as people, as reverse racism has been brought up in this tragedy), if I can defend as a local activist,  a hunter with a sucky hobby, like I did in the case of Cecil the Lion, I can ONLY do what I feel is right, as a resident of Minneapolis (Downtown, specifically) when it comes to this matter, which to me is so complicated and there is so much hurt.

I ask TWO things, should you read this particular blog of mine.

That is, it’s done with the most respect for Justine’s life and death, without wanting to cause further hurt.

And it does without blaming anyone, of discussing ideas, which is already being discussed in multiple ways, here in Minneapolis, that this should NEVER happen again but discussing in fairness to former Officer Mohamed Noor, who’s been charged with murder, with sensitivity to that, too.

I do have as a blogger/activist, a tendency to digress both due to disability and to make a point.

If I’m not CRYSTAL clear in my intentions, please ask for clarification, before making an assumption.

Thank You!!!!

***

I actually started a similar blog about this, last week, when it first broke that our Hennepin County Attorney General Mike Freeman, was going to charge, now former MPD Officer Mohamed Noor, in the tragic shooting of Justine Damond, last summer, a woman who called 911, thinking an assault was taking place and lost her life, because of that, when suddenly greeting the officers.

Both her death last summer and now the charging of murder and manslaughter of Mohamed Noor, has made international headlines.

I’m now going to purposely digress, in hopes of making what I think is a valid point.

I LOVE Ellen Degeneres. I love the Ellen show and the happiness break it brings me both as a disabled person and as an activist/blogger about life and death topics, it brings me a lot of joy.

There is though, one thing Ellen does that I absolutely CANNOT stand. I mean like literally cannot bear.

That’s when she tries on purpose to SCARE people.

Rationally and intellectually, I get that it’s all in good fun, some people find that surprises or pranks played upon them, is a fun harmless distraction.

I’ve NEVER liked though surprises or pranks and that’s a million times worse, in the last 5 years living in Minneapolis of now not only have PTSD issues but Acute Stress Response disorder, meaning I have a sympathetic nervous system in overdrive, everytime I get triggered by sounds that scare me, whether it be someone suddenly grabbbing, me, even if it’s innocent, if I hear sirens (and I live 2 blocks away from a level 1 trauma center) or I hear loud arguing or banging noises.

I’m in NO WAY, honestly trying to accuse Justine being a party in her own death, her circumstances are tragic and irreversible.

She didn’t just call 911 once that night, she called it TWICE.

The problem is, from a perspective of someone in my case, where I’m not acutely trying to fight crime on a daily basis or nor am I an armed individual, a sudden bang in my perspective, in the dark, will send my sympathetic nervous system in a state of fight or flight not just for hours, but severely for DAYS.

In that respect, I can’t help even if I could understand why she did that, such as banging on the back of the squad car, because she might have been upset on the response time, in a dark alley, those 2 officers who both reached for their guns, couldn’t tell until they saw her who or what she was and whether or not she was armed.

I did watch when Mike Freeman explained why he was charging Mohamed Noor. I did watch when both our Minneapolis Police Chief Medaria Arradondo and Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey did a joint press conference after that, stressing their condolences for Justine and her loved ones and a sincere effort to be made that this doesn’t happen ever again and a hope that justice will be served.

I would NEVER have attempted to write this, in an age that unfortunately does NO LONGER exist.

As Mohamed Noor by a great many, has ALREADY been charged and convicted of murder, at the time of Justine’s death last summer, in the court of social media.

And when I think of people where I’ve written blogs where such as Cecil the Lion or the tragic shooting death of a Mendota Heights police officer by a habitual violent felon who should’ve NEVER been free to hurt another a plant, let alone kill a peace officer in cold blood, I can’t stay silent on this topic.

The point and the vary problem in this specific tragedy is that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for justice to be served, in my non credentialed non law enforcement/public safety opinion.

It’s not fair that an innocent person who tried to help someone in crisis is dead.

But it’s also not fair, that someone we expected to risk their life, EVERYDAY, is at risk of losing his freedom, for the rest or a good majority of his young life, that he only had a matter of a few seconds of making a decision that could’ve been at the cost of his own life or his partner.

None of us who’ve ever been faced with such circumstances would really know what the right thing is to do.

But apparently everyone has an opinion and it’s either on the side of justice for Justine, no matter what the cost is, not knowing what it was like to be in Officer Harrity or Mohamed Noor’s shoes.

Or the polar opposite, that law enforcement shouldn’t ever have to face a jury or consequence for shooting an unarmed civilian who lost her life when thinking she was helping another, in crisis.

Justice doesn’t always have an equal or fairness to both sides, such as in our local case of the shooting by that violent felon who killed a peace officer, who should’ve never been out and only is serving life in prison versus the death penalty that we do NOT have in the State of Minnesota.

But, in this particular case, I honestly don’t know how it could EVER be fairly served and that makes me so sad for Justine Damond and her loved ones.

But, it does also make me sad for Mohamed Noor and his family, in these particular awful circumstances.

Note: I will NOT publish any opinions that aren’t respectfully motivated. Unless Justine and/or her loved ones actually decide to respond or someone who’s local in law enforcement has been faced with a similar circumstances and didn’t shoot someone unarmed after hearing a loud bang, there isn’t much you can do to dissuade me from having empathy for both sides.

I’m only expressing this, because this is such a polarized tragedy with empathy for one side and borderline hatred for another.

All I’m trying to accomplish is saying, I can feel horrible for Justine, but have empathy for Mohamed Noor, given the circumstances, but needed an additional 1300 words to explain WHY. Thanks!!!

Editorial Note: didn’t realize until an hour after publishing that I wasn’t clear about one fact that really isn’t relevant to the blog. I wasn’t crystal clear that I don’t own nor have I ever even touched a firearm.

That shouldn’t be cause for concern in anyone, regardless, but felt the need to update blog, to reflect that and one other less controversial point.

What are you DOING when NO ONE is looking???

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Disclaimers: While this blog is both a combination personal blog, as well as to achieve some activism type of goals, when it comes to medical, mental health and public safety, I will ALWAYS implore people, when in crisis, to seek clinically trained professional help if they are or they suspect someone else is in crisis, immediately and or call 911 (because 1/2 my readers are outside of the U.S./North America, and/or Emergency Services in one’s country of residence). Thanks.

OR, may I ask, with NO expection of an answer to me, what are you actually THINKING, when NO ONE else is looking?

Because it matters.

A LOT.

In my case,  and it will be also a topic for another blog, as far as it applies to social media and my loathing and fear of social media.

In my case, what I do and what I think, is usually done in the privacy of my own home.

My blogs from the last month, whether they talked about people in crisis of all different types, where most of my blogs were concentrated on those who’s thinking and actions, lead to fatalities, in innocent others.

Also a few of my blogs of last month, were in regards to Superbowl 52, which was exactly a month ago, that occured 4 1/2 blocks from where I live.

It feels like both yesterday and 100 years ago, that Superbowl 52, took place, which I didn’t care for, because I was afraid of something bad happening and I don’t like being in the spotlight in any way or any kind of attention, which meant for the 2 weeks around Superbowl Sunday, I became super reclusive, even for me, in the era of smartphone cameras, as well as global networks being in my neighborhood.

As well as the tragic massacre in Parkland, Florida that happened, 10 days later.

Unfortunately, but so gratefully, I’m lucky that if I don’t feel well, I don’t have to do anything.

And when I feel my worst medically and mentally, not only do I have to not  do anything, just try to deal with my medical and emotional pain, I don’t do anything else, even though that my medical and mental emotional pain is only a hindrance to myself, even though I usually respond to various help queries, everyday.

I realize that most people, don’t have the luxury of both time and privacy, that I have.

The last major BEST decision though, I made for myself, is to disengage, as much as possible,  from social media.

Without quitting it completely.

And in my case, I’ve never felt that I’m in competition with ANYONE, which I think social media drives.

But in my case, social media, for how I used it, would be a really bad and sad reminder of my failures compared to my FORMER self, which is the only competition I put on myself and fail miserably,  of how functional and productive I used to be, prior to the last 11-12 years of my life, which is now a quarter of my life, now that I’m 48 years old.

Most people, the few of them that I encounter, are  kind of surprised of what I’ve chosen to do with this little life that I have.

Lots of times, I don’t feel well enough to go anywhere or do much, but possess a strange skill set and a desire to help people in medical and/or mental health crisis (with the urging they have to be under the care of clinically trained professionals, which I’m not) and that I’m kinda good at it, with obvious boundaries for myself and others, for what I’m willing and capable of doing, in the areas I do activism for, and where I help people when they email me for help.

It takes a lot of unnecessary pressure off, when people focus to do things, with an absence of social media, either to NOT  be motivated by it, in attempts to NOT  be an influencer and to NOTto have it as a default distraction.

Even if someone makes a living off of social media, no one needs to make their complete lives on it.

When I tell other clinical professionals who I don’t know, in the medical and/or mental health realm what I do or ask what I can do better when I run across them, in my advocacy, I do find that most of the time, my inability to be influenced by social media and/or let anyone influence me, in any way, that what I don’t do or do and/or what I do say and or don’t say, is driven soley by myself, they find the most challenging thing in dealing with me.

WHY, though???

I’m hardly an admirable person, by any account.

I’m not looking to be, nor am I someone to be looked up to.

But I’m not someone to be feared, either.

I know how my disabilities can be of a negative effect on me and/or when provoked, makes me mean to others, which is all I’m capable of.

I’ve made some AWFUL decisions, which I still can do stupid things on occasion but am honest, but I also I make a lot of good ones, in hoping to do the right thing.

When NO ONE is looking.

I don’t understand though, as I don’t judge others who find that the various social media platforms, DO  have a strong influence on how they conduct their lives.

It just DOES NOT for me.

It can’t.

I came into having medical, mental health and cognitive defects by various complex organic, circumstancial and environmental reasons.

I don’t need and it would be a disaster for me and I do believe it does hinder other’s health and wellbeing, being so emotionally, mentally and cognitively dependent on all the things that go along with having a social media and technology driven society, now a days.

It’s not like we can go back in time and change the technologies outcomes both good and bad.

But it’s not too late, to make more of what’s on social media, that does a greater good for people, that doesn’t effect desired financial outcomes, which not all of it is bad, other than the intentional addiction seeking behavior of some technical products and services.

But these are the following the questions, that people have to ask themselves, given the fact that even people, who have done so much good in their lives, are ending their lives and others lives, both intentionally and maliciously or not,  or they interfere in multiple ways, for others right to the sanctity of life, with peace of mind, in the worst ways possible.

So here it goes:

What are you doing and thinking, that could be hurtful to oneself or others, that might have a foundation in a social media driven society and what can you do, to make it less harmful for yourselves and other people?

Can you ask for genuine help and get it, from clinical medical health and mental professionals, as well as families and/or peers when in distress or crisis?

And if you can’t or choose NOT to get any kind of help, how does that adversely and/or can you positively change the outcome of your own thought processes so it doesn’t lead to negative action on oneself or another, all the time, some of the time and on rare occasions?

Asking and knowing why, it makes the difference of why it matters, of the dependence in thinking of others knowing what you say, do and what you look like when you do them, due to our social media driven society and knowing what’s good about it and what is even unintentionally harmful to self or others, in this day and age.

There is NO ego with this blog.

I’m the first one to admit, I have way more questions than valid helpful answers, in trying to help those in crisis, not hurt themselves or others.

All I’m trying to do with my own disabilities, bad choices and my own flaws and as well as the few strengths that I have, is to help myself and to help others, in things that matter the most, in what I’m able to so little but try to contribute somehow, positively.

No one has to answer the above questions out loud, to me or another, unless someone is a danger to themselves or others, which will require acute professional help.

But the questions asked above are worthy of asking yourself and evaluating, of how, what, where and why, you think of  yourself and others, when they’re not looking, in good ways and bad.

Or the when and why, you’re actually driven to make or want  them to look at what you’re doing and saying and how you look, when you’re doing that.

Note: I’m all for constructive feedback, which can be a difference of opinion, as long as it’s shared respectfully. Thanks!!!

absence of malice…

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Disclaimer: Even though this is a personal blog versus a blog doing activism, not knowing the mental state of my readers, and due to the serious nature of what I’m about to discuss, I will always urge those in crisis and/or if someone suspects another that might be in medical/mental health crisis and capable of doing harm to themselves or another, to seek immediate treatment from a clinically trained professional, right away and/or contact 911, immediately.

I didn’t want to write another blog, right now .

I’m NOT okay.

I hate to say and actually resent that I have to say, when saying I’m not okay, that I’m not capable of hurting myself and/or another and/or other’s property.

BUT, I have to say that.

Because, I have diagnosed mental health issues.

And while I feel that we live in a society that people scare me, that I have very little hope, I’m actually TERRIFIED that because I have mental health issues that are diagnosed, that is enough for people not to trust for me, to NOT act in a manner that is harmful to another.

Even though there’s plenty of people who know me well enough to know, that I’m NOT capable of hurting another human being, let alone I’m fully aware of my issues and would never want, nor am I capable of hurting another human being.

But for some reason, I fear that’s not enough. Not because I distrust my own behavior, but because I fear the labeling of my diagnoses.

But truthfully, this isn’t about my diagnoses, medical and/or mental health.

It’s about others, as I’m fully aware of the consequences of my own issues.

I don’t like living a life that’s devoid of hope.

I hate that I live such a small life but that no only is it so small, but that I fear other people.

I can’t stand that the fact I don’t have more hope in other human beings.

Even though that I know that there are truly good people in this world.

But I loathe that we live in a society that whether people lie in wait to kill innocent others, or due to an equally scary but less talked about mental health circumstances, where people are snapping and/or it’s a slow snap, where people are killing stranger and/or beloved famiy members.

I can’t stand the fact that I feel so helpless,  to help innocent others retain their lives,  to pursue their lives, in a society that should value the sanctity of human life, above all else, but that total strangers and/or loved ones could provide the biggest threat to one’s life.

I’m heartbroken, because as little as I have to offer as a parent, and also as an activist, no one will take me seriously, when I try to ring the alarm, that while actual weapons of mass destruction whether it be a gun, bomb or an airplane, to name a few,  with an unstable operator who wants to kill people, that the biggest threat to our safety that I am able to see, is a smartphone and social media, and the addiction of them.

I remember being, I think in 7th grade, I know it was in junior high, when I saw the move “Absence of Malice”. I know while I don’t remember the storyline, per se, it was about the intention of trying to do harm via libel and the consequences of the perception of that.

That movie, I think was released over 36 years ago, but couldn’t be anymore relevant, in today’s times.

And I’m heartbroken, as while I remember that movie’s INTENT, I dont remember the plot, as well as a million other major life events in my OWN life, let alone a movie.

I can’t believe, and it’s bigger than myself and or any of my beliefs, the lack of regard of human life and feelings in another human being, by many others.

Even though there is many decent human beings who care about one another.

That while my life, so small, so abnormal while being not abhorrent, my legacy as it stands right now, is someone who got fat again, before a gastric bypass reversal, when having an epic breakdown.

That’s it. And while I could just dissapear in today’s society, as I loathe social media and I fear it, and I’m on it, so for all intentions, I have “dissapeared” because of my lack of social media presence, that I am still compelled, to be somewhat present, in public, or at least on the internet, as a blogger,and to be honest, for what is the ugliest of my life and of others, that goes beyond that, in hopes to do greater good for other human beings, in ANY manner that I’m capable of doing greater good.

And that of course, is motivated by trying to do the right thing, as an activist, given my spectacular failures as a mother, so that what we went through, wasn’t in vain.

Or that people don’t go through awful struggles and devastating life circumstances, without a support system, like I did.

But that doesn’t get brought up in my personal online life, as much as getting fat or staying heavy after a gastric bypass and a gastric bypass reversal.

And NO matter how much I try to fight that legacy, that we should live in a society, that values the sanctity of human life and the right of individual pursuit of personal growth, happiness and the right to a safe life, that doesn’t mean anything to another, if they wish to cause us emotional and/or physical harm and/or fatality.

The reason why I fear social media so much has both a simple and/or complex answers.

The sort of  simple but still complex answer is, that it encourages impulsive behavior in people, that could be at best, a deterrent to another’s happiness, even if it’s unintentional.

I’m not saying though, I don’t see the good that social media brings.

Whether it be a celebrity who pays off a fan’s mortgage or student’s loan. among many things we’ve seen that where social media has served greater good.

But, the various social media platoforms, simutaneously both encourages the best and worst of humankind.

So while it can be heartening to see both celebrities and others do common good, there’s a lot of bad that goes with it.

Whether it be feeding in one’s instaneous need to hatefully call out others. And to quite a few, social media, dehumanizes other humans, because they are being regarded through a digital lens, that somehow uniquely to predators and/or haters, that they aren’t worthy of common consideration at best, but at worst, they aren’t worthy of being allowed to live their lives with health, safety and peace of mind.

And I don’t think that I’m overreacting, as an activist, when seeing so many cases where in domestic violence situations, where people are not just killing those they love and/or hate.

But regardless, they are horrifically murdering their children, who get caught in the crossfire of a relationship ending badly or for any and all inexplicable reasons, devoid of any ration or ration when it’s needed most.

Or you have children who are tragically killing a parent or a friend, because they can’t react appropriately, to being told NO or something they don’t like. Whether it be  a child and/or teen isn’t allowed to have a party or a child kills another peer in what they feel is an action that shows some kind of rejection, and that leads to rage induced irrovocable behaviors, such as murder/s.

My kind of activism lends to the bottom line of asking “WHY”.

While I can tell a bariatric peep not to blame themselves for example, if they are in some kind of mixed medical/mental health crisis, that their complications are not necesarily their fault and/or of their surgeons and they “why” won’t help them, as far as seeking acute professional attention, so that their lives can be saved, the “why” does play a part.

Of course it does, as far as the “why”, it can not only help from tragedy happening, it can help from history repeating itself, even if the life threatning symptoms are alleviated, it can help from non weight related self sabotaging behaviors from occuring over and over again, that might happen, when someone unnecessarily thinks in the case of an adverse bariatric surgical outcome, that they’re  to blame, for life threatening complications (even when their surgeons aren’t)  when they’re not.

That kind of perspective, such as examining the “why” can help, whether or not a human being is bariatric patient or NOT.

It can help help from a perspective of WHY tragedy happens.

It can help from trying to prevent self sabotaging behaviors, of many kinds, of interfering in one’s ability to find inner peace and a balanced life, regardless of socio-economics and other factors.

The problem is, and it’s not a problem, it’s a CRISIS, that when people hurt, if not kill themelves and/or  another human being, the “why” matters.

The intention of whether or not malice, is present, matters

Whether it be in the case, of my writings of blogs, as of late, whether it be a pastor who drove drunk and killed, I’m assuming, very unintentionally, locally,  that went viral , a 911 operator when driving drunk, last week.

Malice matters, when trying to prevent school or any kind of massacres, whether it be in Parkland, Sandy Hook, Orlando, Las Vegas, San Bernadino or Columbine, to name a few school (and other)  massacres, even though the motives of the person/s commiting the massacres may VARY, and vary widely.

Malice, and/or absence of it, matters greatly, when a mother who has an MSW and should know crisis resources, still kills her baby, her husband and herself, which happened 2 weeks ago.

Or a week later, when a mother kills her husband, her 2 adult children and herself , executing them, by shooting them in the head, when feeling rejection, as it’s been rationalized in the news, right or wrong , when being shunned from her house of worship and/or religious faith.

Talking about why these tragedies occur, as painful and complex as it is, whether or not malice is involved and/or the “why” of them, will NOT  necessarily prevent ALL of them from occuring.

But isn’t it worth a mention, if maliciousness and/or an abscence of it, as well as the “why”, necessary, to at least try and prevent at least  some of them?

I’m not a clinically trained professional. I’d like to know though, where are the clinically trained professionals, to try and say something  and/or help do something, in the hopes of prevention of all these horrific tragedies from happening over and over again, even, though they definitely aren’t to blame, for these tragedies occuring, over and over again.

Because I loathe, as a non clinically trained professional, that I have NO answers or solutions, I’m just trying to be a part of the dialogue, in hopes for prevention of all these tragedies, and while it may be unrealistic to think that all of them can be prevented, we need to at least TRY to prevent some of them.

SO sadly, I have way more questions,  than I do answers.

It would be comforting, to hear from those who have answers (i.e. clinically trained professionals in abnormal/trauma psychology) , or at least an idea,  about the ugliness of human life, that can end human life, if not hamper other’s right to be at least psychologically balanced, happy and healthy, to try and say, what they think is going on here and what, if anything, can be done to prevent all these tragedies that end in loss of human life .

Note: I welcome constructive feedback. I’m kindly asking if someone does NOT have constructive feedback, to not comment. Thanks.

Editorial Note: Clarification, 15 minutes after publishing this blog. I shouldn’t have assumed that nature of the blog, would be clear.

But it’s not something I could’ve said, whether or not people intend to do harm, both fatal and extreme psychological duress, there is sometimes instances where malice is apparent and malice is absent.

But point I’m trying to make, is both intention, whether or not there is an absence of malice, the “why”, matters greatly and is worthy of further discussion, in hopes of prevention of these tragedies.

I shouldn’t have though, assumed that people would construe that, just by the nature of the blog, so while I’m not sorry for what I said, and how many words, it took to say it, I AM sorry, that I wasn’t clearer.

Again, my apologies for not clearly stating above clarification. Thanks….

An important part of the conversation in trying to prevent school shootings…

Important Disclaimers: I believe the video starts an important dialogue that we need to be having and I’ve tried to also state in other blogs about school massacres, other massacres and murder/suicides.

I’ll always encourage people who are in medical and/or mental crisis, and/or if you suspect someone else and is capable of hurting themselves or others, please seek acute clinical professional help and/or contact 911 (and/or EMS for your country if your outside the United States) immediately.

The man in this video is brave.

He starts an important conversation that I’ve tried to initiate dialogue for,  but am not so brave to leave my house to do so, nor as I am as concise.

He shares concerns that I have stated since I’ve launched this blog, that gun control is necessary, as well as open and honest constructive dialogue is necessary to try and  help prevent all these senseless school shootings, but brings up concerns wisely, that gun control is NOT enough.

Again, I believe in gun reform.

I don’t believe that ANY citizen should have an assault rifle.

But lifelong constant societal, familial and peer rejection in some people can lead to predatory and horrific massacres.

It doesn’t mean that all people who’ve experienced massive rejection would ever be capable of hurting another person, let alone killing them.

And Aaron Stark talks about that, too.

Because when we start the labeling people without asking questions, a reclusive loner who’s been subjected to lifelong bullying and has limited support, not all of them are going to ever be capable of causing any kind of harm (i.e. me and many others) to others and have never ever thought about hurting another.

And society just can’t start locking people up, in thinking because they possess certain anti-social appearing traits, that they are at risk for something I/they would  NEVER be capable of doing.

I don’t think it’s his intention, but I want to make this clear, as I do think the video can be life saving, some people probably can not be “loved” or shown caring enough to prevent them, from doing something that could cause harm, if not fatalities in many others.

In the end, it’s the person who kills people, who’s responsible for them being a mass murderer,  as there is never a good enough defense to justify their horrific behavior, as it’s not brave to ambush innocent people, EVER. It’s horrifically cowardly and it should never be thought,  otherwise.

But it can give hope, as shown in the  conversation in this video,  that is possible that some of  these tragedies can be prevented, regardless of weapon choice in a potential mass murderer and/or serial killer.

By asking someone without stigma,  hopefully to save lives, of what helped him when in crisis, to not to kill himself, let alone other people, even though he had considered both at one time, can hopefully lead into constructive initiatives and support systems for those in crisis, BEFORE they horrifically kill others.

 

In hopes to honor a recently local fallen hero…

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This above meme tragically doesn’t mean anything in relation to what I’m writing.

Because it wasn’t a local man who was 72 years old, and decided to drive drunk last night, who lost his car or his license.

He nearly lost his life and is in critical condition at a local hospital.

Horrifically though, he  killed a 30 year old female Minneapolis 911 operator who died tragically in that accident last night, on her way to work.

I’m heartbroken for the family, friends and co-workers of this amazing young woman.

I’m heartbroken as a citizen of Downtown  Minneapolis, who reveres all of our first responders, and feels safer because of them, whether they be 911 operators, police officers, fire department and our local HCMC EMS staff who are headquartered 2-4 blocks away from where I live.

I’m not saying the following, which I’ve said before, and after my last blog, the last thing I really wanted to be doing is writing another serious blog, given my disability sets and feeling so helpless about such tragic awful loss of life, in the last 2 weeks.

But in hopes that another person will NOT make the same mistake as that 72 year old man who drove impaired, last night, I will try.

As I thank our first responders, in person, everytime I see them, since moving to Downtown Minneapolis. I’ve thanked when I’ve had to call 911.

I’ve tried to thank them in past blogs and failed to do so because of my disability sets of not being concise, when trying to show being beyond grateful for their service, it was beyond readable.

I remember one instance, when calling 911, on July 4th in 2016, due to the PTSD triggers that I have, I thought because of being anxiety prone and having major panic attacks, due to fireworks that are set off in my neighborhood (I’m talking about people setting off fireworks not the professional display that occurs a mile away) , the year before, because it’s hard to distinguish I was so on edge, the next year, that I mistakenly thought there was a fire, across the street.

It wasn’t a delusion, it was a mistake on how light fell on a windy day, from where I could see, in my apartment window, in the parking lot across the street,  from being anxiety prone and when the 911 operator called me back, I realized what happened , that there was no fire and she made me feel better, because I felt awful, wasting resources when there wasn’t a true emergency, which I would any day, but especially on a day like Independence Day that’s super busy for first responders.

She kindly and patiently said, “we’d rather given the circumstances operate on a false alarm than not to not have the ability to help”, if there was a true emergency but it went unreported and it wasn’t so far fetched, and that I should feel good about caring about other’s people safety, as well as acknowledging and not minimizing my severe anxiety as it’s hard to tell when you can hear neighbors setting off loud fireworks, but cannot see them, if that’s what’s occuring or if it’s gunfire.

As such as in my case, where I didn’t feel safe enough, rational or not, to go outside and check.

So I’m writing this. I’m hoping that anyone doesn’t think that their actions, whether they get behind the wheel, drunk, looking at a text, looking at social media, being mad about something and driving recklessly, doesn’t have the potential to kill an innocent person.

BECAUSE IT DOES KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE.

And in this case, locally, we are mourning that we are NOW short one life saving hero, who didn’t have to die on her way to work, which she was an amazing first responder, because someone got behind the wheel when they had NO right to do that.

So hopefully anyone will think twice, before getting beyond the wheel impaired, for ANY reason, so this doesn’t happen again.

I’m so sorry for the loss of this lovely young heroic woman, for her, for her  family and friends, co-workers and the City of Minneapolis.

Editorial Note: I updated this blog, 3 hours, after I originally published, because at the time, that I heard more details about this tragedy, while the identity of the 911 operator had been released, I hadn’t seen any of the details released about  the identity of the drunk driver, who was a retired pastor.

I feel just as strong in my sentiment that people should not drive impaired, it shows that even people who do such good in the world, make horrific mistakes in judgement, that can tragically end a life of not just themselves, but an innocent other.

I’m trying to be as respectful as possible, given all the circumstances, in hopes that this doesn’t ever happen again. Or that it would possibly save one life, but I couldn’t ever do the greater good that both the 911 operator did in her life, as well as sadly from what is being reported about the retired pastor and felt I needed to be sensitive, as I could, given this particular local devastating tragedy.

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