Note: The nature of this blog requires the disclaimer that IF anyone you know and/or oneself is in medical or mental health crisis and/or is in danger of hurting themselves and/or others, PLEASE seek treatment IMMEDIATELY from qualified medical/mental health professionals in a crisis facility and/or contact law enforcement, immediately…..
Several days ago, here in Minnesota, a young father when going through a child custody/relationship issue with the mother of his child, shot and killed her, her sister, her father and her mother is still hospitalized, before killing himself. He had an accomplice who had taken the toddler at the time of the shooting, who was found safe, a couple of hours after the murder/suicide on Friday.
As well as the shootings in Coral Gables, Florida, when a recently fired personal trainer, killed 2 former co-workers before killing himself, on Saturday.
As well as the other domestic murder / suicides that have happened in the last week, that I just don’t have the sanity points to address and for that I’m sorry for multiple reasons, mostly because of the tragic loss of lives.
Today (as when this will be published on WP, the date will be 4-11, when it’s still 4-10 here in the U.S.) a man shot his wife to death and 2 young children (who weren’t thought to be intentionally targeted) which as this was in her workplace, AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, before shooting himself in San Bernardino, California.
One of the children, an 8 year old, is also now dead (he wasn’t at the time that I started this blog) .
Because this just happened several of hours ago, as it applies to the California shooting, maybe there will be more details released.
Like motive for the shootings . Which won’t mean much. As far as bringing those who were killed, back. And I’m not being glib, but if human life doesn’t have sanctity to a person, the location where they kill a person, won’t either.
I’m going to try something new, with this blog. I’m going to blog as both as an activist and a person, who continues to be horrified seeing all these murder/suicides.
I’m doing this because this IS NOT the first time I’ve blogged about murder/suicides. And because I lack both the credentialing and the credibility, as someone who has mental health issues but isn’t violent, to do anything else but to bring awareness, in hopes that there will be major initiatives started to try and reduce these tragic deaths, as an activist.
And while I can’t help much more than that, I can say things that other people can’t, with wording that other people can’t, because they have consequences. I don’t make money on my blog(which is on purpose) and with my not working or having anything resembling a normal life. I have the leeway at times to say things that others don’t.
This is what I have to say to ANYONE who is thinking of killing their kids, their spouse/significant other either current or former , their parents, other family members , friends, children in a schools, complete strangers because they feel somehow they were wronged. Or maybe they were wronged somehow but it’s not a case of self defense but revenge:
So, IF you’re thinking of harming or killing others cause someone did you wrong, I’m going to try and appeal to your sense of decency, before acting in a horrific irrovocable manner.
Thinking about doing something and doing something (although I can honestly say that I’ve never ever thought about hurting another human being, as my particular batshit crazy will hopefully never have a body count ) are 2 completely different things.
I come from the philosophy that it’s better to let things and people go and try to get some peace of mind and realize that everyone should have that right.
And maybe for you, that will require serious acute professional help.
If you’re in crisis and are thinking about hurting another/others and yourself or just others and don’t have insurance, hospitals are required by law, to help you.
There is NOTHING honorable about revenge. Especially revenge that causes death in ANYONE. Which most of the time, most murder/suicides are about.
I’m not saying I don’t have empathy for those who are hurt emotionally, physically (sometimes an accident, sometimes on purpose) and/ or financially, that you don’t have a right to be upset. I don’t know you or your circumstances.
But channeling your anger or hurt in vengeful deadly retaliation is WRONG. It’s not badass, it’s not cool, it’s not noble. You aren’t going to somehow be redeemed, if you believe in an afterlife. The person/people who’s death/s you’re planning aren’t the piece of shit, YOU ARE, should you carry this out and kill a person or people.
You can either try to heal by yourself, or with professional help.
I’m BEGGING you to try the get professional help before you hurt yourself or another human being. Whether you are getting help for the sake of others, if you can’t do it for yourself, as if you’re thinking about killing others and then yourself, the people who you kill will NOT be your ONLY victims.
As the people who love and care about YOU, will also be emotionally harmed for the rest of their lives, who have to survive a loved one killing other/s and then themselves.
As well as the people who are in close proxomity of these horrific tragedies who have to witness them, whether an attempt on their life was made or not.
Would you want someone who you love, who’s life you find value in, to DIE this way?
BUT if the above doesn’t work. of trying to get you to realize, that you won’t be glorified after your death but vilified should you kill another/others and then yourself or for those who just pick the murder route.
And for GOOD reason.
SO, if you can’t see because you are in such an irrational place, the horrific tragic consequences of manifesting your deadly ill will that just is going to fucking heinously end others lives and perhaps your own. And irrepably emotionally devastate those who love you that you’ve left behind, in a murder/suicide.
PLEASE try this instead, if your deadly rage won’t subside. Write a detailed letter to whoever has done you wrong. Don’t give it to them.
Leave it in a place that’s NOT ANYWHERE NEAR another human being but that’s somewhat conspicuous.
Then fucking take your pick of ways to fucking kill yourself that won’t interfere with another’s peaceful right to life or at least with the least amount of impact to others lives that you can at least congratulate yourself for not killing, OK?
Because at least that’s the least cowardly and cruel of options you could entertain, if you absolutely CANNOT get over your deadly rage.
YOU WILL NOT see the consequences, regardless of what you choose to do, because you’ll be DEAD.
But at least you won’t be reviled for the rest of your life, from just about everyone else in society, because you refused to get help.
But at least you didn’t take out other human beings who’s lives that you are ABSOLUTELY NOT ALLOWED to decide when and how they die, and if it’s with you. And that’s something where you can at least be proud of.
And for that, people close to you, that you may care about, you will have broken their hearts. And while they won’t ever totally heal, you won’t have completely ruined their lives because you killed others, in addition to yourself.
And, at least the rest of the world won’t think you’re a rotten piece of crap like those who kill others and either kill themselves or worse, let themselves live.
And again, as it’s worth repeating, while you won’t see regardless of what you choose, if one is entertaining murder/s and then a suicide, it might help, if you just fucking kill yourself, in bringing out an outcome in the future, to save someone else from making such a tragic choice and that they’ll get help before killing themselves and/or another.
Or it might help to bring about positive change in the future, but that we so desperately need NOW.
And if you don’t hurt another human being, that’s also something you can find solace in, too.
I’m not mocking suicidality at ALL. In my first 2 blogs, on here, I discuss my personal issue with that, as well as resources for help and healing for those who are JUST suicidal.
But NO ONE can help someone if they can’t find the means to get help, when they want to to commit murder before killing themselves. Or those who just murder.
But I figured at this point, I had nothing to lose by trying for those thinking of murder/suicide to get help. And what to not do, if they can’t get help.
So in the above, you have both alternative options other than murder and resources for when in crisis but not capable of hurting another (it’s on my 2nd blog and I can’t copy and paste, you can find it on here, by looking at my blogs from August of 2013).
And I honestly hope you’ll believe me, when I say, that I really wish you had more options for help with rage and irrationality, then you apparently have right now.
And last but not least. What I wrote above, was pretty FUCKING crazy, right?
For sure. But it’s a little, um no, a lot fucking LESS crazy and irrational to try and talk someone out of killing another/others than to actually think about killing another and/or to go through it.
How we as a society can help try to reduce murder/suicides:
PLEASE don’t make this a gun control issue. If someone wants to kill in this manner, weapon of choice, isn’t the issue, the desire to cause fatal harm IS.
Make this an issue about murder/suicides also WITHOUT demonizing or stigmatizing mental health issues, further. Not everyone who has mental health issues is capable of either harming either themselves and/or another human being/other human beings.
We need more support services in place for both mentally ill people in crisis whether or not they are endanger of hurting themselves or horrifically hurting or killing other human beings .
There are multiple reasons we need more supportive services in place, to reduce murder/suicide. is that people who don’t necessarily have a record of violence or mental health are snapping and are committing murder/suicide.
I honestly believe that social media and the new technology cycles ,is feeding into this, it’s NOT helping people, in some of these cases. This is hurting and harming human beings, sometimes fatally, as they people are losing the ability to differentiate that people are NOT expendable and that others aren’t meant to exist and/or can be erased for others pleasure and or to punish, due to the ego-centric society we are vastly becoming (actually have already arrived) and it’s getting more harmful, not better, with so many people living most of their lives on a digital device.
I, truthfully will probably NOT attempt another blog quite like this. I realize how bizarre it was for me to say not only what I said, but in how I said it. While the nature of my “normal” activism, does put me in situations where people in both medical and mental health crisis do contact me, they do so, with my warning them to get IMMEDIATE professional help and I’ve never been contacted by someone who’s been in crisis but was at risk of harming another.
But I figured there was nothing to lose at this point, with writing this. It will be read by those who think similarly to me, but can’t say what I’ve said to potential murderers (which I’ve struggled in writing this, as well as debating on whether or not to pull this blog) , in the manner I thought it and thought that I had nothing to lose by expressing what I thought above, in writing.
For the whole fucking internet, to see. For hopefully a potential murderer to see. For people to think maybe I went to far or was being irrational myself, in what I’ve tried to do, that others will start a dialogue on what we initiatives we need to have in place, to try to reduce murder/suicide.
And if someone thinks they can do better, than letting a disabled blogger try this, HOPEFULLY YOU WILL.
My thoughts and prayers, as always are with the victims, their families and friends left behind in these tragic deaths.
Note: I welcome all respectful differences of opinions. Especially professional insight. Anything not constructive will NOT be published. Anything that could potentially be a danger to another, including myself, will be forwared to appropriate parties.
One last thing, I do want to add and I couldn’t in good conscience put in the body of my blog. I used to volunteer at a battered woman’s shelter. On a crisis hotline, a long time ago.
And while the warnings are in place, should this be an issue/motive for the CA murder/suicide where if there is a past history of domestic violence and one partner leaves another (as this is not gender/sexuality specific issue) when a domestic violence victim leaves their abuser, can be the most dangerous if not DEADLY time, for the victim, in domestic situations, with past history of domestic violence.
Update: In San Bernardino murder/suicide there was a past history of domestic violence, in the history of the murderer, that information, which had NOT been stated in the news articles I saw, at the time this blog was originally published.
Additional note/update/clarification: I had technical difficulties both with internet and WP as the time I wrote this blog. Edits I thought that took place, didn’t and unfortunately for my subscribers, where intent was definitely even harder to gauge, because of missing words, or such as in the case of the St. Paul murders, I had thought I updated the right day but it didn’t show when I published and I apologize for that.