It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Thy will WILL NOT be done…


Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional.

I have a responsibility to do no harm, as a serious medical and mental health activist who writes about topics that are with immediacy regarding life and death, or such as this topic where it’s debatable of when chronically ill patients who aren’t diagnosed with terminal diagnoses, choose non life sustaining and/or life extending measures.

Because this is both a sensitive and stigmatized topic for a multitude of reasons, I’d encourage anyone where this topic could be justifiably upsetting, that they do not read.

I have to balance personally, given the seriousness of topics that I choose to address as an activist, of when I can use humor and when I can’t and usually I select the latter.

I make no mockery of death, serious disease or illness in others, in this case though I may have what’s not considered a slightly twisted take, as it applies to my unique circumstances, and again, if it’s offensive or I’m not clear, it’s not my intention to cause further harm in anyone.


“If it wasn’t funny, it would just be true and that would be unacceptable”- Carrie Fisher

No one’s going to probably want to read this blog.

I sure don’t want to write it.

I guess I can find solace that while I think it’s a topic that needs more discussion to remove stigma and that’s why I write in the first place, should this get read, I can hope it helps others.

The problem is that it’s not going to help anyone that I love and care about the most.

I’ve fought with myself in the last year of wanting a pretty cut and dried advanced health directive.

And the reasons why I wanted it.

While I filled it out in late Spring of this year, had it notarized in the Summer, I didn’t file it with my long term primary care physician until the end of September.

And she just filed it, after me haranguing her about it for the last 2 months.

When I say it’s a pretty cut and dry directive, it’s very simple.

I want my next medical event to be my last.

And because I have a mental health history with ONE suicide attempt, because I’ve been on narcotics, I had to prove to both myself and her, that this was not mentally driven and it was very hard sell.

Right to die and death with dignity topics are already stigmatized.

It’s even further compounded in my case, where I have a minor child where in the state I reside, where I don’t NOT have custody of her, even though she’s lived with my parents for over 10 years, now.

“Possession is 9/10th of the law” doesn’t quite apply to people.

So I have to write a will to protect my daughter,

The little I’ve tried to engage my parents on this topic they don’t want to talk about it.

The few people I’ve mentioned this to and when trying to start a discussion on social media about this topic were more concerned about my mental welfare and made it about that.

This is what I don’t get in our society.

We have NO problem of showing people how we live and why we live in this day and age.

And while you can on an advance directive talk about what makes life meaningful and when it doesn’t become meaningful any longer, that piece of paper is really the ONLY place that one can talk about why they want to die, that’s not rooted in suicidality, something else, that’s also still quite stigmatized and something I also do activism and blog about.

I can’t and I’d guess if there’s a few people like me, who want to talk about it death and life with dignity, and how hard it is to write a will when you have nothing to leave, but can’t talk about it, anywhere else.

I’m even more limited in having a serious suicide attempt (one) in my life, as far as credibility in saying with my complex medical, mental and cognitive health issues, I don’t want to fight for my life, again.

It was necessary in my pregnancies with my children,  post suicide attempt and again, when I needed by gastric bypass reversal and by the time I showed signs I was going to stroke out due to Mirena and had Mirena Crashed in 2013, I knew then, that I could fight for other people’s lives, my own while still sacred, I was kinda done.

One of the most life changing books I that I have ever read and what has helped fortify me in my desire to be the best medical/mental health activist I can be is “When Breath Becomes Air” by Dr. Paul Kalanithi.

All I can say as I’ll never have enough words to do justice to the man that Dr. Kalanithi was, let alone what he actually accomplished medically in his short life and what he could’ve had he had a longer life, I won’t even try.

I’ll just kindly but strongly  suggest reading  “When Breath Becomes Air”, it will make most people want to be at least a better person, if nothing else.

It’s one of the best books ever written, let alone, one of the best books I’ve ever read.

In my case, it made me think more given how limited I am to show being better, of at least being more careful and deliberate about what my legacy will be.

While I’m still alive and when I’m gone.

I just can’t believe though how much more regret I have to endure, having my own unique bizarre skill set,in being able of honoring most commandments but breaking what’s considered most sacred in Jewish Law, not only in life, but in death.

And the struggle of doing that without additionally breaking the hearts or causing emotional harm to those I love the most.

How I had to reconcile my wishes and what I think the wishes of others, will be in my next blog, though.

Note: 99% of this blog was written 3 weeks ago, in where I was with struggling to write a will, after filing my advanced health directive. I figured for ease of reading, I’ll put what I had to resolve in starting to write a will and what feels like some twisted irony, but with some major poignant points, when it comes to that, in my next blog.




IMPORTANT Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, I will ALWAYS urge those in crisis to seek immediate help from qualified trained professionals in an acute setting and/or hospital.

The nature of this blog, the caveat I face in writing this, is also the catalyst.

I knew over a year ago, that I wanted to address physician addiction and also physician suicide.

Truthfully though, I thought I was the last non clinically trained human that anyone though, especially a physician, wanted to hear that from.

I’m not a fun patient to treat and I’m a patient who’s had a life history with less than ideal encounters with a majority of  physicians, being an obese patient who is prescribed opiates and is a cigarette smoker with diagnosed mental health issues.

So yeah, I had to get over my own bias issues not loving having to deal with physicians who look at me like an ugly unicorn on crack, and on the offensive, react to me like I’m soley responsible for the opiate and obesity epidemic.

HOWEVER, I took the same oath that physicians do, when they become doctors, way before I started this blog, in my past life when I became a CPT (I was thin and fit for 6 years post rny gastric bypass) and wanted to be a bariatric specializing life coach  before that field was identified and magnified.

I took that same oath when I started this blog.

I think one of the many good things to come out of the digital era, is that physicians now have resources to online network with other physicians not just for good of patients but themselves when they need support.

I found that out when doing clinical research for all the things I’ve done in the past with my medical activism, led me to physician driven sites like Kevin M.D..

However, with physicians working in the occupation with the highest suicide rates, I’ve realized for awhile now, maybe that isn’t enough, not only due to stigma still, but that physicians need to know that support of them is extended outside of their peers, family and friends.

Even when it’s someone like me, who does call out physician bias as an activist, that I make it clear that I’ve always known the sacrifices that physicians make, the sacrileges they have bear witness to and have tried to prevent and heal, their heroic efforts to help and heal regardless of specialty and that their pursuit to a happy, balanced and healthy life is sacred to me and it should be to all of us.

The type of activism that I choose to do when it comes to being a medical and mental health activist, with a specialty in gastric bypass complications that lead to gastric bypass reversals, does lead me to cautiously borderline practice both medicine and psychology at times, when patients who find me when they are in crisis.

And I treat them, remotely.

In the comfort of my own home though, sometimes when they are in theirs and sometimes when their in a hospital beds near death, where the  patients are surrounded by medical and sometimes psychiatric specialists who cannot grasp the complexity of emotions in a patient, because they can’t relate to rarely seeing of patients of being in such unpredictable medical crisis and sometimes of psyche, when patients undergo what’s supposed to be a  transformative surgery that’s supposed to be life saving and life enhancing but they end up with a dire outcome.

(Important Note: I am a pro bariatric surgery including gastric bypass, with the same concerns that I am also pro opiates for pain management. When all other less invasive and/or risky treatments/interventions have been exhausted)

And while I only “treat” digitally, it requires a very unique skill set that’s sometimes cannot be taught in the many years of  medical school,  internships, or even when they start in action (I hate the word “practicing” as it applies to physicians) being the physicians, surgeons and psychiatrists that they become.

However, I don’t have the ego that ate the United States, as I’m VERY clear that nothing that I say should be taken in lieu of evaluation and treatment from physicians and other clinically trained professionals, but the one outstanding trait that helps my patients a lot and can be sanity and life saving for those patients, is very simple.


And I think that to help a population of people such as physicians,who are suffering and either feel they have to do so in silence or amongst their peers or their own professionals that they NEED to know that others try to see their challenges, their fears and what they feel is their failures, as not everyone they try to help can be saved, but that we honor their efforts in caring and having multiple avenues for support, intervention, evaluation and treatment when they themselves are in crisis.

This is one calling, one profession where it unfortunately can’t ever to some, matter if the intention was honorable but the outcome was horrible and a patient dies and that we ALL in some way now have to support the psychological trauma that can cause physicians, if we have going to have a prayer in reducing the risks of suicide and addiction in our physicians.

It’s never been more needed like it is NOW.

And to start, all we have to do is, CARE…

Note: I’m amenable to feedback or constructive dialogue. Any comments that can be triggering to myself, any population of people I do activism for, such as  in this case especially, physicians, will NOT published.

Please also note that I’m  a cognitively disabled activist, it matters in the most important way, of what I say versus how I say it, as sometimes my syntax is bad or I misuse a homophone.

I still stand by my intent to help with this blog, in hopes it does greater good. Thanks!!!


Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, I have absolutely no training in public safety and law enforcement, I will always urge those who are in crisis or have loved ones who are, who could be capable of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

I’m NOT happy this Thanksgiving.

Which is OKAY.

What I am though is grateful, humble and have a desire to help others, even if it’s not in a monumental way, given my purposefully limited presence on social media.

It’s been a brutal year for so many that I know and don’t know, in losses of things and most importantly people, by many ways and for many reasons.

And my heart as a human hurts for those people and their loved ones, who’ve lost their lives, their livelihoods and their homes.

And if you’re similar to me, regardless of reasons, what I lost in the last coming years and it isn’t getting better and is actually getting worse, is my peace of mind.

That doesn’t mean I don’t possess emotionally stability and mental fitness, because I do.

I’ve spent the last year especially working on that, as well as what I do as an activist and little else.

Circumstances in the last year, led me to ignore the external about myself and rather fight a losing battle about what I look like, at least at this time in my life, led me to do that and I’m so grateful for that because if I have to feel that I can be a prisoner in some ways of others choices that can negatively impact another and circumstances within myself that I can’t control medically, it’s reinforced my commitment that if I can’t help someone, that I’m supersensitive to the fact that I don’t hurt them.


Okay, so I started the above a few hours and went to take a break.

Coming back to write this again, more reinforced in the direction that this blog was meant to be in the first place and that is gratitude for people and the intangible good things.

I’m spending this holiday alone, and I’ll just say somewhat on purpose, because the reasons don’t matter.

The contradiction of what this holiday is supposed to mean, is in great abundance in my emails, I don’t dare look for it anywhere else on the internet.

Emails like “Happy Thanksgiving, Alissa!!! Start your Black Friday shopping, NOW”, all eight trillion of them.

I get business is business and I don’t think commercialism or capitalism is bad in itself.

I think it’s getting muddied though in the social media era, when people became brands themselves or when it became purposely that brands tried to become “peoplish”.

And for my sake, I’m not going to make that worse by being on social media, even though I’m blessed with great supportive people I’ve found because of it.

I don’t need a holiday to remind to be grateful for what is good.

I remember ten years ago, like when I didn’t have anything, including my freedom in addition to having medical health issues that make it no small miracle that I’m still alive for the last 8 years.

That’s probably why, knowing how lucky I am, in so many ways that I don’t ever forget, being grateful for my loved ones, my freedom, having my basic needs met that I didn’t think ten years ago, life could get more scary but it has.

I’m not talking about just me but for so many, where as we get further along, we get more backwards in ways that matter the most.

Unfortunately, it just seems like it doesn’t matter or it matters less, about who and what you are on the inside and/or what you can do to help others, as much as it matters of what you look like on the outside and what you have.

That’s our new normal, though and that I find terrifying and calling that out on a day that we are supposed to be grateful for what we have and with our loved ones, isn’t sacred anymore, feels icky but necessary.

Because people are being conditioned to be more concerned what others are doing, what they look like when they are doing it, what they have and what they will acquire and being focused on that is not only diminishing who we are as people, but who we are as a society.

I’m sad for those who have experienced awful losses this year and I admire those who have and still have managed to find the good even though I can still feel sympathy for those who are stuck because of their tremendous losses and can’t see the good and are saddened.

I’m grateful to the people who sacrifice their personal lives, if not their actual lives to protect us and help us.

Everyone has a gift that’s unique to them, that’s intangible that they could either use to help themselves and or others, I hope people who can’t see that about them, that they finally are able to identify it and use it to help themselves and/or others for greater good.

And it’s not bad nor does it make someone bad, if they need a reminder that anything that has a dollar amount, isn’t what’s most invaluable to us.

It’s who and how we love and doing that and/or trying harder to do that with kindness, is what really matters.

That’s what I’m going to be concentrating on this Thanksgiving, as well as I do in my daily life.

Lastly, I’m in no way saying it’s bad or that people are superficial for liking things and loving social media.

But, it could help anyone and everyone to take a moment, get off your phones, tell the people who you are grateful for that you are and if you’re not with them, let them know that. Often.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Note: Anything not constructive will NOT be published!!!



(above pics of me taken 10-8-2016 DT East Miniapple in my ‘hood)

I know this is going to be shocking to Victoria’s Secret and L Brands management, but most of us larger women had  ALREADY known that Victoria’s Secret doesn’t love heavier women.

I just don’t know why Ed Razek , their CMO actually had to be so cavalier in admitting, specifically, in addition to calling out transwomen or what I just prefer to call them, women(which he did end up  rightfully apologizing to them), I guess us fatties are going to waiting awhile.

Above VS Angel tickertape oversized hoodie (in a size XL) that  I’m wearing in picture, when I bought it online in 2016, at the age of 45 1/2 and truthfully it’s nothing short of a miracle it fit me and I was a size 12 on average (I’m much larger now, that though will be a topic of another blog) and nothing else at the time, from VS would have.

I’ve always been fond though of their fragrances at both Victoria’s Secret AND Bath and Body Works.

I’ve always joked around that if I couldn’t be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, I could at least smell like one.

I’ve also less funny, privately have said, that Victoria’s Secret would have Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson prance down that runway before he’d let the gorgeous Ashley Graham, do so.

I think all body shaming is despicable, whether someone falls on the smaller or larger side of the spectrum.

And in my case, super relatable, where in the last 14 years I’ve been anywhere from a misses XS to a women’s 4x.

Other true body diversity activists like myself will call any kind of body shaming, including thin shaming, no one needs a CMO of huge organization to distract from hurtful rationales that he is spewing, of talking about his models being body shamed for being thinner, to excuse his disgust for those of us who are on the larger side.

The only thing is where I would NEVER call out for a boycott for any kind of conglomerate, is that I’ve been to the VS stores in Mall of America and other local suburbs and they ACTUALLY employ plus size women.

It’s one thing to not empower those women with not making clothing in their size, but to say it in the way he did, is inexcusable, especially given the fact the thought to apologize to one population of people but another, weren’t worthy of one.

As he owed an apology to all women, actually to anyone who buys anything from VS, who could be offended with horrible rhetoric, PERIOD!!!

I’m NOT though, throwing out the cute hoodie or all the stuff I love that I’ve bought at B&BW over the last few years.

But, I personally am not spending another dime in an L Brand owned store, either.

It’s too bad, as I have in the last few years been watching the VSFS and I love the music  that I’ve found due to the shows and some of the segments were really beautiful, as far as models and outfits.

It’s one thing to just cater a store to a certain population of people, that most of us have always understood, that.

But once you shame a population who could still shop at the store for things that are not restricted to size, well the shame ain’t on us.

It’s on you L Brands and your executive marketing team, who should’ve answered that question way less hurtfully, not just for your customers, but for your actual employees.

Regardless of age, weight or gender identification…

Note: Anything  that could be hurtful to ANY population of people, will NOT be published. So save and spare me (and everyone else)  your hate. Thanks!!!




With bated breath …


Disclaimers: I am NOT  a clinically trained professional in medical or mental health or possess any kind of education or training in any form of law enforcement.

IF someone you know is capable of hurting themselves and/or others, please contact emergency services in your location, immediately.


I really wanted to title this blog “Hate Won”…

Because I’m really beginning to think that hate is winning out.

I’m also really beginning to think, that no matter what I or others say about learning how to agree to disagree, choosing apathy over hate and that NO matter what morally or ethically (there’s a difference with legal) transgressions that people do to another, we don’t have the right to pay back those transgressions with violent irreversible harm over another for those who have a predilection for crime or for those who snap (which quite a few domestic murder/suicides this year alone were committed by people with no legal history or history of mental illness) .

I thought about the very recent crimes that happened in the United States that triggered my writing this blog and realized it didn’t matter whether or not  I specified the crimes, well the crimes of course did matter, but the actual date’s crimes didn’t, for activism purposes, as this happens EVERYDAY, now.

I’m obviously NOT a psychiatrist who specializes in violent crime pathology.

You don’t need to be though, to have an opinion or if one has a desire  to try and help make the world a better place, to have an opinion.

Some of my blogs are meant to be “DBT on Demand” for those who refuse to seek treatment and try to bring awareness that their words and/or actions can be harmful, if not fatal to themselves and/or  others.

Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given has been by someone NOT familiar with my exact personal circumstances and was practically, if not, a total stranger.

Some of the best life saving advice that I’ve ever given (with above disclaimer that people in any kind of crisis need to be evaluated and treated by appropriate professionals, in appropriate facilities) is to people who I don’t know personally, but have found me because of this blog.

It just goes beyond my scope of comprehension, of how people can let unchecked rage due to rejection, that leads to deadly revenge or attempt to kill another.

For someone who’s been hated on by people, the majority of my entire life  because of weight and looks (being more on the unattractive side of the spectrum) most of my life, I’ve only turned rage inward and what I learned when I became a mother, untreated hatred even if it’s just limited to oneself, can have devastating emotional consequences on those who you love the most, no matter how unintentional.

I had to learn at a young age how to deal with rejection and while it wasn’t hurtful to others, it wasn’t constructive, either and it’s something some of us, especially for those of us who’ve really never fit in, have to check in with themselves and take personal inventory on how we react to that, so it does NOT  turn inward or externally to others, and sometimes people can do that on their own, others may need professional help.

It NEVER helps whether in the short or long run,  to retaliate either emotionally or physically against someone who you hate either because you loved them at one time and they emotionally hurt you or in a lot of cases now, where people want to retaliate against strangers who they have differences of opinions.

I’m trying to multiple things here, but one thing I should try to make clear, for a blog that’s intended to reduce violent crime, I’m going way out of my way to talk about LEGALITIES, because they cease to matter to an individual once they try to perpetuate violent crime.

I REALLY don’t want to write these kind of blogs, anymore.

But I still do, because I cannot bear to know that someone can try to go to work, to school, a place of worship or grocery shopping and never come back because they were murdered for one or many of multiple reasons that most people with a shred of ration and sanity could never commit, due to another’s hatred of something or someone.

I want to put it out there, in a way I’m capable and comfortable with, that exacting violent or really any kind of revenge, isn’t badass or noble, it’s quite COWARDLY and it’s the worst possible legacy one will leave and I really can’t understand why anyone would want to do that although I’m trying, in hopes for prevention of violent crime.

That it’s despicable shame that the energy used to hurt others can’t (although I’m TRYING) to encourage re-channeling of that negative to do something positively good for another/others.

Or at least to prevent harm to innocent people.

And again not everyone is going to love each other, but if you can’t find empathy, try apathy.

People cannot become desensitized to all this violence due to fear, even though it’s understandable because it’s too painful to think about this happening to your own loved ones.

So my challenge to you, my dear readers, as well as the rest of the universe is, everytime you have negative thought about any person in regards to race, religion, politics, gender identification/sexual preference and weight (whether it be people on the thinner or larger side of the spectrum) , try to find something positive about that person to counteract the negative energy to neutralize it.

Here’s an example: “That #@^^____!!! I hate #$^____, they can all jump off a bridge, as far as I’m concerned!!!”

Try this when having a thought like that to yourself (and maybe if and/or if you’ll ever be ready to something like that in public forum/fashion) “Hey that person is a human being, maybe I need to remind myself that before I pass judgment on ____ and _____ and____ as they aren’t hurting anyone or themselves, it’s truthfully, really none of my business”.

We aren’t born to hate.

Unfortunately though, we are conditioned to.

Unless one intentionally chooses to break that cycle of being a hater and the good news is you can.

Because something so small, could do so much for innocent others who are losing their lives daily, because people can’t contain rage from rejection and it leads to revenge.

There’s a good reason, I didn’t write a 3 word blog with a 3 word title called “Let It Go”.

Because people do many bad things based upon the “why”.

The where, what, how and who obviously matters, enormously as well.

So maybe if we try to break the cycle on hating, by teaching from the time people are young how not to  be hateful and how to agree to disagree with a no bullying/hate tolerance stance and reinforcing that lifelong, we may have a chance on reducing violent crime.

But until then, I wait with bated breath, for the next tragic news story, that’s bound to happen in this hate cycle our society is in.

Note: Anything that’s not constructive, will NOT be published.

home sweet home 3 letter.job

Disclaimers: I’m passionate about there being all kinds of affordable housing. I concentrate on the Twin Cities, where I live, but a lot that I say could apply for rooms in houses, condos and in apartments and one’s own apartment in the United States.

If one is in a crisis that’s not life threatening but that will lead to loss of a current residency, the best place to start is by contacting one’s local Department of Human services and they may be able to help.

As always, if someone is in a crisis physically or mentally, please seek acute help in clinical facility (i.e. a hospital) and they usually can help with ideas for potential housing retention or finding temporary housing once a patient has been treated.

I don’t ever mean to be mean spirited when it comes to this topic, I’m quite blunt though as there’s so much at stake, both for those who are looking for housing and for those who are providing it.

If I’m not clear about something, please ask for clarification before making an assumption. Thanks!!!

Here are the mistakes people make when looking for housing on a tight budget:

1. Not knowing their market…

Like at all. There’s no shame being on a tight budget. The problem arises when people have unrealistic expectations of wants vs. needs on what they can realistically afford.

2. Potentially insulting a reasonable and decent landlord by using an excuse for wanting to pay less than the market demands…

I see these kind of ads on Craigslist (more about that NEXT) where people use excuses like wanting to pay less for a room because their saving up for a house of their own, they want to travel, etc.

Yes, you dear potential renter may be an ideal person to live with. Most people though don’t rent out rooms in their homes or condos due to altruism, though.

If you wouldn’t go to a Burger King, a fancy steakhouse or car lot, expecting that kind of financial accomodation, why would anyone owe you space for super cheap, in what’s probably the most valuable asset financially and emotionally they own or will be paying off for decades or could be financially on the line if someone damages their property?

3. Where people look for housing…

Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist…

It may be a great place to get a cheap couch. It’s way less than ideal 95% of the time to look for a safe place to live.

Worse than that and heed this particular warning very carefully as I’m very clear about this, I see single women unsafely post pictures of themselves that are sort of risque, in nature. NO ONE ever asks or deserves to be raped or assaulted. But a lot of people both men and women on CL aren’t the greatest landlords,  and may have harmful predatory motives, even if you say that you don’t want any type of sexual/platonic relationship but you post a picture that’s more appropriate for Plenty of Fish, then it is for LinkedIn

Expect a backround check and do the same and realize as police officers say about speeding tickets, most people get away with speeding hundreds of times before they’re caught, use due diligence when looking for a place to stay and only a reputable landlord would do the same.

4. Having a super entitled ATTITUDE…

People expecting somewhere for almost free, not having any income source and having a long list of wants vs. needs, see above 1,2 and 3, again and #5.

When looking for housing, making it clear you’re NOT open to a backround or credit check, you don’t know the market, you have a list of demands that belong on an expensive housing show, is an open invitation like the above 3 points, except that you are good humor to what would’ve been a decent landlord, had you come off as potential decent tenant.

5. Not realizing the seriousness of looking for housing, that you would for ANY  of the most important decisions you’ll make, even if you’re not buying…

Where you look, where you live, who you live with matters. The same applies to you as a tenant, ENORMOUSLY.

So does the why and what you’re looking for in housing and being honest about past mistakes that could show up on backround check.

If you use a non vetted free site for housing, you get what you paid for, which at best is nothing, at worst is a total nightmare situation to live in,  or you don’t realize one is the nightmare themselves which either/or, which could put you in physical, financial and legal jeopardy.

Have enough respect to be a decent tenant, expect  to network (and have to work and research)  for reputable housing and housing like many things of value and held in the highest regard,  is NOT something people are just going to take your word for that you’re a good tenant and a good person, just like you shouldn’t take people’s word that they are a good landlord.

You wouldn’t get a decent job (or almost any job or anything of value) based upon one’s word, why would housing be any different?

If you can’t respect yourself enough to be a decent respectful tenant, think of what you’d want for a loved one, although that’s kind of difficult for people to do when in crisis of some kind, so get professional help for that, before making other major life decisions that could negatively impact your life or  innocent others, if you have barriers that make looking for housing that’s in your income bracket unattainable for reasons other than financial and there is a ton of resources in ones locale, usually that can help, at least as a place to start, if you don’t know where to.

I’m far from perfect. And I have housing from a non profit that believes in second chances, which I’ve proved I was worth that.

All I’m trying to say is realize you get what you put into a housing search, you get what you pay for and this is too important of a life decision to not be realistic and educated of what you can afford and where you can find it.


Note: I welcome respectful dialogue or difference of opinions. Nothing triggering to myself or an innocent reader, will be published.

Please don’t waste my time or yours, with that kind of stuff. Thanks!!!


Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical, mental health or in public safety professional. I’m just a concerned medical and mental health and violent crime prevention activist and blogger, at times.

A lot lately.

And for awhile now.

If you or someone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services (i.e. 911 if you’re in the United States) and other important crisis resources will be at the end of this blog.


With a title like this, I guess I need to make some clarifications, right from the start.

I’ve been around for almost a half of a century, now .

I know that people have been hateful and harmful from the beginning of time, let alone before computers, internet and smart phone eras.

But now so many people are being irrevocably mentally and medically harmed, if not having their lives violently taken from them.

Where no place is sacred, such as a school, a place of worship, a hospital, a government center, a daycare or workplace and playgrounds, to name a few.

Where no one is spared, whether they be a baby, child, teenager adult to elderly.

Regardless of political preferences, gender, sexual orientation/identification, religion, race, race and socioeconomics.

And  people from all walks of life, have the potential that they fufill ,to be predators, perpetrators of hateful actions and vile crimes (well not babies or very young children) and to be victims.

This is what I’m deciding to mainly focus on, going forward as an activist…

That the serious discussions that need to take place, that I’m a part of, as far as making an attempt to be a part of the discussion to make aware, that people are losing the ability to realize and respect the sanctity of human life.

That everyone should have a life that is free from physiological and psychological harm.

That we start instilling this in the young.

And have safety nets in place lifelong for human being the evaluation and treatment of people in crisis.

And that we as a society if we’re going to survive, let alone thrive, have to figure out how to respectfully agree to disagree.

That rejection, if it or anything else that leads to rage, people can get help so they don’t continue to harm and kill innocent people.

That they don’t continue to irrovacably interfere with another’s right to peace of mind.

It needs to be said, in an era, where there is so many murder/suicides and just such an increase in violent crime, as well as the increase in severe emotional abuse and bullying, that even the people without a history, even if they started out and throughout their life, that doesn’t mean much, if they end their own lives and others, violently.

Or they in secret or quite publically hate and shame on a population of people, whether it be online or offline.

I DO NOT  believe that everyone can love everyone.

But it needs to change  where people realize how much it can harm, if they ONLY  have compassion for people who they care about and who are similarly like minded.

In that case apathy is a lot better than contempt or hate.

And if nothing else, if one can’t be a part of the solution, please don’t be a part of the problem.

Because some people just for no reason are predispotioned to depravity.

And then there are others where for multiple reasons, their depravity is circumstantial.

But no less damaging, if not deadly.

Note: I hope this will lead to necessary discussions about having multiple initiatives in hopes to help humankind.

Any response that is hateful or not constructive to this topic will NOT be published.



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