It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

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Dear CNN,

As a medically, mentally and cognitively disabled activist, who blogs about mental health issues, especially suicide prevention,  I commend what you’ve done in the last 4 days in trying to make an effort to raise awareness about suicide prevention, as well as I’m saddened and concerned as far as as the issue of suicide contagion, which you’re also discussing.

So many outlets now, in addition to CNN are starting to talk about suicide prevention initiatives without stigma and that’s commendable, too.

Your organization in the last 20+ hours, did a beyond commendable  job in trying to help with suicide prevention, even prior to the passing of Anthony Bourdain, yesterday,  in where you had mental health professionals who discussed openly without stigma on raising suicide awareness prevention, the day before he died.

In addition to that, while trying to provide a safe and supportive  place for not only your employees who are grieving the loss of a beloved co-worker, who was beloved by so many, including anyone who’s life was touched by Anthony Bourdain, even if they may not ever had the privilege to have met him but still felt they knew him, as well as trying to support his grief stricken friends, many who were also established and well respected people who are also famous, by giving them a safe and supportive safe place to talk about their heartbreaking loss.

The one thing I’ve tried to do in my activism, that I do by blogging, is also trying to support families, especially children, who lose a parent, if not parents by suicide.

I also know this, because I was a mother, where almost 10 years ago, I did try to commit suicide.

So I try to remove stigma both personally and as an activist but lack the credentialling that is needed, because I’m not a clinically trained professional and in my case, while I hope to help save lives with honest talk about suicide for those need it or for those who lost loved ones from it, I don’t want to be well known.

But it’s more terrifying for me to think that so many grieving families aren’t as supported as they could be, so it’s worth the risk to potentially lose my privacy and/or anonymity in public.
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And while I love my children more than anything, and in my case I was in both medical and mental health crisis and I didn’t love myself and I thought everyone was better off without me, which when talking so open and honestly has helped others.

And while I’m not trying to make this about me, I only do what I do to help others learn from it and for hopefully to reduce the chances of  what happened to those I love the most, it wasn’t in vain and it has helped other people.

The point I’m trying to make, is with your reach and access to resources, I do hope you in the coming days, address with clinically trained professionals on how we can best support children who’ve lost their parents or other people who’ve lost parents, spouses and other loved ones.

If this was something you planned on doing, I apologize in advance, as well as I hope other media outlets, in addition to now supporting and educating on suicide prevention, will also discuss on how we can support families but in with special regards to children, who are beyond devasted and can’t comprehend that the loss of their parent this way, in absolutely NO way, reflects the abundance of love of those who they leave behind but they can’t understand without more support services and without our society destigmatizing suicide and other mental health issues that are fatal to people.

As well as reduce the risk that for some families, sadly this can become a history that tragically sometimes repeats itself, if not comprehensively addressed with professional guidelines, we’ve already seen that in the past, with some celebrity suicides.

So hopefully you will choose or already have planned on having mental health professionals discuss on your network, of  how to support families and friends  that have to go through these tragedies, and by doing  this will start a desperately needed dialogue that has to go hand in hand with suicide prevention initiatives.

Respectfully, Lisa

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Yo Val,

I usually live my life, according to quote, pictured above.

I felt bad when I heard you had throat cancer.

And I’m happy for you, that you’re in remission.

I’ve never talked about you or thought over the years, cause I have kind of an actual personal reason to dislike you, that extends beyond the fact you were like the fucking WORST Batman, like ever.

Instead of trying to make comments regarding a certain celebrity, who just sadly passed on Friday, June 8th, 2018, that DOES NOT help anyone, just PLEASE shut the fuck up, ok?

And ya wanna know why I know you can be a complete asshole???

23 years ago, I used to work for a company that was subcontracted by BA, where we managed their frequent flyer program.

And so 23 years ago, I went to work, UNPAID and off the clock, cause you were making your personal assistant, absolutely MISERABLE, over a few thousand frequent flyer miles, that YOU failed to properly claim.

So instead of disrespecting someone who just died and their loved ones, friends and fans, maybe just worry about not being a dick to people in your own circle, OK?

You wanna help people???

Maybe try doing activism for throat cancer prevention.

But with like Batman movies AND suicide prevention, you kinda suck at it.

So fucking knock it off, OK?

Respectfully, ME and 90% of the universe…

inspirational quotes suicidal person Best of lost black and white depressed depression sad suicidal suicide

1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Hotline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
http://www.befrienders.org (for people who live outside the U.S)

Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained professional in medical or mental health issues. I will always urge someone if they or someone they love is capable of hurting and/or killing themselves or others, to seek immediate professional help in appropriate acute facility or call 911 or emergency services in your country of residence.
***

Because of the type of activism I do, when people talk about those who they love who’s depression was fatal to them, the hardest answer I have to give (see above disclaimer) as a non professional, is when they tell me that the loved one did that and there were no clear cut signs.

In fact, they seemed happy or at peace.

I’m not the only mental health activist I’m sure to point one tragically heartbreaking thing to admit, to those who’ve never struggled with suicidal ideation, can’t comprehend.

If someone you love or care a lot about, has been struggling with severe depression and even regardless if they’re on medications and have been evaluated and are actively seeking treatment, is still struggling and then all of a sudden, they seem so much better, one of the most hard things to understand is that they can APPEAR to be doing okay, if not great.

That happens because for some and some people between illness and depending on how much suffering they are going through and how well they hide it are happy, not because they are getting help, but because they’ve decided to end their suffering, once and for all.

(Important Note: I’m going to stop here, on purpose, I had written the above, YESTERDAY and had  felt this was going to get too  wordy, when I woke up this morning, I found out that another celebrity this week,  had died by suicide.

The sad irony is, this blog I only attempted to start writing yesterday, after seeing a psychologist interviewed on CNN where she discussed missed signs of the suicidal, but didn’t address this one. I’m in NO WAY discounting the importance of clinically trained professional help or input. And CNN did do a better job of suicide awareness on their website today, due to a loss of an admired contributor of theirs today, due to suicide)

What again, is that sign???

The person seemed HAPPY.

People who are balanced and genuinely happy, their depression doesn’t become fatal for them, at least at risk of it being caused by their own despair and then their own action that leads to their death.

The bizarre phenomena of why people miss this in suicidal loved ones who don’t want anyone to know that they’re suicidal, is because they mistake relief for happiness.

Or sadly and it’s hard to explain to those who aren’t or haven’t ever been suicidal, they ARE actually happy,  because they know their suffering is going to end, because they’ve specifically made a plan and usually means and a date and they are relieved, if not overjoyed to know their suffering is going to end.

It’s also compounded with the trickiness of even the most mentally balanced person who still suffers mental illness and/or from severe depression and anxiety, of NOT wanting having to hear of all the reasons why it’s NOT okay to take a life and they go out of their way to show their doing okay, if not great, because they either in lapse of ration of their own wellbeing and  don’t want to hear it and/or people don’t know how to help them, so they don’t ask because they don’t know how or what to say.

And again, while no one is to blame if someone’s depression is deadly to themselves, if they’ve heard another, say “suicide is the easy way out” or anything that could cause further depression and guilt, those of us who know people who feel that way, are less likely to share how much they’re unbearably hurting inside.

I’m not trying to make an argument for someone to die from suicide, I’m trying to explain for those who NEVER have thought about it, why some people die that way or why some of us TRIED, even though we have loved ones that we were going to leave behind.

There is a time sensitivity to this blog, as usually when there is celebrity suicides, such as what happened this week and with Robin Williams, there’s an increase in non celebrity suicide deaths.

In this case, I’m going to concentrate on just  TWO of many,  major factors with some people and it usually is a factor in both, when it comes to celebrities or high powered people who die due  to suicide.

They just lost a loved one either by death or breakup and they don’t get help because of stigma and/or they don’t think their suffering isn’t going to end without them dying.

In addition to people who are at risk from suicide, needing professional help, sometimes the person, such as in a long term (or even short term) loving relationship, even lovingly and thoughtfully dissolved can increase risk of death, in addition that stigma of suicide and mental health can create a deadly situation.

I need to be clear, again,  it’s no one’s fault, when people die this way, as far as death by suicide, when a relationship ends.

I need to be clearer, sometimes the person, in addition to needing acute intensive professional help but who won’t get it, the person who cannot help them, sometimes, if not a lot of times, is the person who is a party of a relationship issue.

And it’s no one’s fault.

If that’s the case, a if you suspect someone is in danger to themselves, you can safely intervene, either softly and sensitively  by getting someone else (i.e. a good friend to that person, family member who’s sensitive to depression issues) to personally talk to that person, and ask if they are thinking and/or wanting to die, only if it’s safe to do so or you can contact above resources for ideas and/or contact emergency services.

As while I’ve talked about this more in past blogs and will continue to do so, in future blogs, in addition to suicide prevention, which is something I am an activist for, I can NOT be any clearer when I say, sometimes you’ll/we’ll  miss signs because there wasn’t any signs to miss.

But it can’t hurt those you love by reminding them you’re a safe person to talk to, if they ever need it, whether they’re in crisis or not.

So let’s just keeping  about this more, in hopes to help those in crisis and those who love/d them, without any stigma, in hopes to physically and emotionally save lives,OK?

Note: Anything that’s not constructive to my readers or myself, will NOT be published.

Additional Note: I purposely, in honor of those who are celebrities who died of suicide this week, and will be now in the news constantly, did NOT want to name them, out of respect for them and their families.

Or for anyone who’s lost a loved one, while I can say as an activist in this blog on ideas or hopes for suicide prevention, to honor those who we lose and their loved ones, you honor their lives and the love you had for them, going forward, society should not sensationalize, condemn and/or dishonor them, in who they were and/ or  the way they died.

 

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Disclaimers: There aren’t any. This is a positive personal blog. Won’t be wordy, either.

This is my 200th blog, but that’s not why it’s a big deal, today.

Or at least it’s diminished in today’s date’s significance for me, which I’m okay with.

While, I’ll only share the details briefly, as I’ve discussed the actual circumstances in greater detail, in other blogs, here it goes.

22 years ago, when I was a 26 year old single mother of one young son, I worked for Carlson Marketing Group on an account subcontracted by British Airways, where we managed their Frequent Traveller Programme for the United States, at that time.

June 6th, 1996, I boarded BA296 from Chicago O’Hare to London Heathrow where I was seated in their newly renovated Club World (business class and it was AWESOME).

Less than 45 minutes later, so DID Princess Diana.

Should she not have boarded that flight, today’s date still would be happily significant, especially given where I am both personally and professionally, 22 years later, given my unique life circumstances.

However in 1996, I had a a life that I was happy and proud busy single mother of 1, who I was happy to go home to, so while I shared my Princess Diana story, it wasn’t as significant as it is now.

In 2006, my life was even better, as a single mother of 2 amazing children, a 13 1/2 boy and a 3 year old girl, even though I was sick then, but life had a promise and hope.

I’m not looking for empathy, because I don’t have that anymore, even though as far as being a mother, prior to 2008, that will forever be the best part of my life, if my children don’t believe anything other that I ever said or that I ever did, I truly hope they believe how much I loved them then and how much I will love them, forever.

And that I’ve always done the best I could, even though they deserved better.

So sharing a flight with Princess Diana on BA296, will ALWAYS be a magical experience to me, only 2nd, to being Zachary and Zoe’s mother.

But because I don’t have any other established other milestones other than that, to feel as intensely amazing, like that and I will never again, I’m just going to celebrate BOTH, today.

So on this day going forward, I hereby personally proclaim and will revel in what’s been magical in my life, on this date, going forward and when I really need it.

And even giving myself, a tiny bit of credit, in hopes to help others, that what was awful for us, didn’t happen in vain.

Cheers!!!

Note: Feel free to share what was a (or a few)  magical moments for you on this date or any day or date…

p.s. It again, can’t be a wls, that’s for your own good 😉
p.s.s. It can be though, a memory or major milestone in non weight accomplishments, as a result of wls. You’re welcome.

national-suicide-prevention-lifeline-tm-1-800-273-talk-8255-suicidepreventionlifeline-org-if-you-25731790

http://www.befrienders.org (International Suicide Prevention services outside the United States)

Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT  a clinically trained medical or mental health professional. IF you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others or potentially suicidal, please seek professional clinical help, immediately or contact 911.

I sadly learned way more about Kate Spade after her death yesterday, than I knew about her when she was alive, other than she created beautiful accessories.

I sadly learned way more information, all of us did after her tragic death, as far as in the circumstances regarding it,  than what we should’ve been privy to.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, in the respect that I think her closest family and friends are due privacy, due to their tragic loss by writing about it, now.

What I hope to accomplish, because I am, so it wasn’t in vain, because details that shouldn’t be public are, that whether it’s famous people or non famous people, relationship problems are becoming more deadly, when people are experiencing romantic heartbreak, to  partner/s , parents, children both young and old, if not wiping out entire families, if not tragically ending other people’s lives, as well.

We HAVE to do better as a society from removing stigma and talking about how to better handle and cope with relationship heartbreak, rejection and rage and maybe then we can have some hope in reducing these senseless tragedies.

Because this is happening both with people who have known mental health issues and those who where there was NO known mental health issues and just suddenly “snapped” without any warning (which sometimes is truly the case, even if it wasn’t in this instance, depending on whether or not people closest to Kate who have talked and maybe SHOULD NOT have, publically), this can’t and shouldn’t continue to be an everyday occurance.

I can only hope going forward, we FINALLY have the important conversations in our society that we need to have, that we remove stigma from relationship endings and/or mental illness and that people can feel they can get evaluated and proper treatment for their depression, to reduce the chances of it  being potentially, if not actually being fatal to them and possibly others, without feeling stigmatized.

My thoughts are with Kate’s  (and anyone who might be triggered somehow or can relate) family, friends and fans.

Peace…

Note: Please, constructive feedback, ONLY. Thanks!!!

 

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Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained or credentialed medical or mental health professional. NOTHING I say should EVER be taken in lieu of professional medical and/or mental health evaluation or treatment of ANY condition.

I can ONLY put my opinions, where I hope to help people, where I have in guiding them, at the very best, simultaneously,  at the same time to get the best medical or mental health treatment, from trained clinical professionals, in an appropriate setting , such as what I do with gastric bypass patients in various scenarios with gastric bypass reversals, among other things.

BUT,  what I have to say about how various biases carried by physicians and the potential for physical and emotional harm, still needs further civil, respectful and responsible but sometimes when appropriate, critical discussion, not ONLY by patients but the actual medical and mental health professionals within their own  communities.

I ONLY believe though, when dealing with a provider who one might feel is showing bias that effects one’s care,  of discussion of potential  misbehavior, if  one feels that they’re being treated unfairly or unreasonably, because of that bias (I’m talking about appointments, not to the point where blatant physical or emotional malpractices have occurred) of filing a grievance, if a discussion doesn’t resolve the issue and/or finding another physician.

It is NEVER okay to threaten the emotional or physical wellbeing of anyone, including a physician or any provider, for biases and if depending on the degree of physical and/or emotional harm has occurred, if that’s an actual issue, there’s legal remedies one can look into and/or take.

That’s it, making or threatening a physician’s physical and emotional safety and wellbeing is NEVER okay (more will be elaborated about that, in the content of this blog).

Also note, I have people I associate with where they may find my communication style at best, offensive, because I’m kind of open with my various disabilities and with those disabilities, it’s difficult for me to be concise or write well, even if this topic definitely needs discussion and resolutions.

***

All I wanted to do last weekend,  was to  have an okay weekend.

Let me explain, as most people know, that due to my disabilities, that I don’t have anything normal in responsibilities, like people my age do.

But in my case, I kind of dread weekends, while my blogs have been both personally and as an activist, VERY serious as of late, it’s kind of scary where I live, because on weekends, when staff isn’t here, people are more likely to act out.

Even with cameras, unannounced drug sniffing K9s and security during nights and weekends.

While I explain to those few about explaining where I live,  that 1/2 the building where I live are good to have as neighbors, the other half is people who have issues with drug addiction and what it takes to support an illegal drug addiction (dealing and/or other illegal and unsafe behaviors to support an addiction of themselves and who they associate with) , if one’s on their way or headed to rock bottom, especially for poor people, it’s not a fun thing to live amongst, even if I have some empathy for non violent addicts.

The best way I can describe where I live is my building is like a stupid drug cartel that’s badly managed and a church had a baby.

Seriously and it’s NOT funny or fun to live in, even though I’m grateful for my housing.

Also as a serious activist, if I’m going to point out where doctors fail patients in under medicating patients or being afraid to use opiates as a last resort, I also have a responsibility as an activist, to do no harm, myself.

To either patients or providers or to anyone.

The last thing I’d want to give the impression, as an activist,  is that people can be complacent nor would I want to enable, when it comes to the potential of drug addiction or feed into a denial pattern, if they actually are in the midst of drug addiction or heading into drug addiction with either prescription or  illegal opiates.

I know it sounds like I’m digressing, please be patient, I will make my point when it comes to physicians and their biases and how it harms.

Because of all the clinical data I have to read, both as a patient and as an activist, who’s trying to find answers both to opiate addictions and obesity surgery complications, is by using Google.

So when last Saturday night,  it was in my suggestions on Google,  to check out a physician driven site to support and educate medical providers, especially as it applies to interventional pain management or obesity related issues (among many other medical topics but those were the 2 most talked about ones, as well as ones I’ve discussed ad nauseum in this blog in the past) , I didn’t need that site, to know that bias among physicians was horrifyingly pervasive and permanenting who apparently were WAY unaware that they had a few of these awful biases that I’m going to discuss in this blog.

I just didn’t need to see it on Saturday night, when my building was a hotbed of not life threatening criminal behavior due to drugs, but it still was scary because you don’t ever know when that’s going to escalate.

I happen on that physician site to read an article a blog that  a pain management specialist wrote,  who was trying to make a point on how tricky it is to do pain management using a popular stereotype that’s perpetuated not only with non physicians, but within the medical community.

Patient #1:  was a morbidly obese patient who misused opiates claiming she was under medicated, that she was treating who had  needed a double knee replacement and severe  back pain  due to a disc issue (and apparently her inability to stop eating for more than a minute)  and had mental health issues and when the physician pulled her meds due to her non compliance and her quite clearly expressing the patient having NO willpower whatsoever, that patient trashed her online, so she thought, as right after that happened, she received a bunch of negative reviews on a bunch of medical websites.

Patient #2: Very friendly thin patient perfectly compliant dying of cancer, who used a moderate amount of opiates sparingly, despite her severe intractable pain due to terminal cancer with mets and in this instance, the pain management doctor had a nauseating borderline reverence, for.

I will admit, that I’ve had that kind of prejudice similar to patient #1 even though I’m not known for compliance with most meds, other than narcs due to high tolerance (and how I’m resolving that, will be in another blog, soon).

But that blog by that pain management doctor, hit me way harder as an ACTIVIST.

This is what I know to be true, due to the  activism that I do.

Bias can kill patients not only from physicians even if it’s not intentional, due to stigma, as well as by,  non physician peers.

I get that all the time, when I have to talk to a gastric bypass patient with catastrophic complications, into what may be right for them, such as a a gastric bypass reversal, who’s going to die, has a BMI of 19, even with weight loss of 200 lbs and NO surgery to correct extra skin, so their BMI is actually even lower, when that’s taken into consideration, but they’re afraid of and what’s worse, is their current bariatric surgeon is afraid of doing a reversal, in case they become morbidly obese, again.

Where they are more likely to DIE from their catastrophic complications, before Obesity again could put them in mortal danger.

Or in the case because I’m a body diversity activist and find thin shaming repugnant, if I say that someone who’s thin, they’ll usually share their skinny shaming stories and if they’ve had a past or current history with bulimia and/or anorexia.

Or when I see within the weight loss surgery community, patients who get very thin because they’re terrified they’ll be fat again, not realizing that it’s not ideal, it’s actually unhealthy,  to be exercising intensely like an athlete, on 400-1000 calories a day, not only does that make them more at risk for exercise related injuries, it kills their metabolisms, in the long run, if not creates other health risks.

So doing behaving that way is no insurance policy that a bariatric patient won’t gain weight again or have any other severe health problems.

Or if they have bariatric surgical complications, quite a few bariatric patients actually think they deserved them, because they were fat in the first place and had to resort to bariatric surgery.

Or when patients who are morbidly obese to medical and mental health issues and want bariatric surgery or to lose weight, they sometimes become obese due to inactivity due to their health issues and their medications, they can’t have their total knees without losing weight or their bariatric surgeries and they can’t lose weight without either surgeries and are absolutely in a no win situation.

With weight stigma, especially when it comes to Obesity, it hurts both fat and thin patients.

With fat patients, they hate getting medical care, because if they go the doctor for strep, it’s going to be blamed on their weight.

And it shouldn’t be any surprise but it will be to providers, if they have fat bias, the patients who they are treating are FULLY aware of that and that’s why people of weight loathe to seek medical treatment which can sometimes kill a patient, but even at unfortunately, at best,  unnecessarily makes getting any kind of medical treatment, a lot harder than it should be.

It also hurts and potentially harm  thin patients, because they may less likely to think they could have health issues, and their physicians feel the same way, because if they’re a “healthy” weight, it’s presumed, that they’re actually healthy,  when they may not be.

With opiates due to stigma, if a physician has a patient who’s in intractable severe pain, there is a risk they will self medicate and possibly harm if not accidently kill themselves,  they engage in unsafe and unhealthy behaviors to treat their pain and/or they kill themselves, if they aren’t appropriately medicated and/or suddenly taken off their medication.

Especially now, with the opiate epidemic, patients who are compliant, but have been on opiates for a long time are now starting to die, because they find a dealer and/or patients are actually commiting suicide, becoming collateral damage because of the opiate epidemic,  due to unbearable physical pain, because they don’t feel they have any other options and they have no quality of life and they have no options as a last resort for pain.

Absolutely NO physician should be congratulating themselves or encouraging as a positive behavior,  that a terminal patient has great “willpower” by not using opiates for severe intractable pain, if medications are working properly, when the risk of addiction in that patient is next to nothing and the patient is ONLY afraid to take opioids, because of stigma due to drugs, and would rather die a horrifyingly  painful death than be considered a drug addict due to stigma , even if the patient is going to DIE.

NONE OF THIS IS OKAY!!!

I’ve said this before, as a medical activist.

HOW and WHY, in this evolved technological era, why are people becoming MORE backwards in our society, has to be discussed openly, without stigma.

BUT medical and mental health professionals take an oath to try and not do harm.

IF they have personal biases, regarding fat patients, challenging patients to treat or mental health patients and/or any other kind of  biases, who are coming to them for any kind of treatment, they OWE it to their patients, to give them the best possible care.

And they can’t do that, if they have ANY kind of  preconceived particular bias towards ANY population of people.

In the defense of physicians or any medical or mental health provider, while I’m not excusing bias that limits their ability to care for their patients, they shouldn’t have to worry about physical or emotional harm, either.

Also patients LIE, like all the time or don’t even realize the dangers if they are aren’t lying a lot, but about things that may seem trivial to them but it’s not and it makes them a liability to both themselves and possibly their providers, especially one who is prescribing narcotics to them.

But even if 9,999 out of 10,000 patients are lying, especially about what they’re actually ingesting, all of them deserve to be given the benefit of the doubt, especially if the 10,000th patient may be, if not, is actually telling the truth

Every patient deserves an individual patient tailored approach to their unique physical makeup being able to feel safe with their medical and mental health providers.

Every provider should feel that they don’t have to worry about being physically or emotionally harmed, because they say something or take a course of an action that a patient doesn’t agree with.

Patients should just stop seeing that provider in that case, in case of negligence or harm, consider a legal remedy, that’s it, if a reasonable (as patients can be respectful, responsible and critical at the same time) discussion or resolution is NOT possible with a provider and/or seek a different provider, if possible

But pretending that bias doesn’t exist, that it can harm patients in their ability to get appropriate (and sometimes lifesaving) treatment of their health conditions,  that resolving one addiction and not addressing the nature of addiction, can lead to another, is harming people, both patients and providers, alike.

Because we aren’t having the responsible and respectful dialogues we need to, as as society,  because of STIGMA.

So while I will hold a physician to the hippocratic oath, it couldn’t hurt anyone, if we actually all took it.

Note: Constructive feedback, only.

Also note: Again, I believe in both any of the obesity surgeries AND opiates, as an absolute last resort. I’m not against any weight loss surgery, I just have a unique situation in being one of the more long term gastric bypass reversal patients out there, of being asked about that, a lot.

As it applies to opiates, I have lost people I’ve cared about due opioid addiction as well as see it in other case, such as described above, ruin people’s lives, so again, it bears repeating, I’m not trying to feed into or enable the opioid epidemic, as an activist.

Although, I’m also not going to apologize for being supportive of invasive medical treatments for different health issues, i.e. both obesity surgeries and opiates, but I will always strongly urge people when you take drastic action, make sure you have a long term plan, are well educated and are well supervised, medically (and mentally), life long.

Nor am I going to apologize for the length of this blog, due to the sensitive nature of what I addressed in this blog,  that I had to so  comprehensively and fairly, to do  justice both to patients and providers, alike.

And if you saw at times, what frightening words or phrases sometimes end up in search engines for my blog, well you’d understand better, why I have to have such a lengthy in depth disclaimer.

Thanks!!!

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Trigger Warning/Disclaimers: This particular blog could possibly upset those who lean both more liberally and conservatively, alike.

Do me a favor, as I’m NOT wrong in what I’m about to say, save any hate and if you could wait til sending me a death threat (I usually get them with political posts, especially when defending people who affiliate on both sides ) or having a desire to kill me, wait till I get my DNR notarized tomorrow, in case ya fail, as what I’m trying to say, could not only help oneself, but someone you love or care about.

Thanks!!!

***

In this week’s episodes of the celebrity edition of  “The Wrong And The Feckless” (something I made up, but kinda already exists unnamed on the various and vast media platforms aren’t I clever??), that should’ve NEVER starred  Valerie Jarret, Ivanka Trump OR Kim Kardashian West, all three who didn’t ask and DID NOT deserve being in what’s becoming the world’s worst REALITY media show/reality soap opera/REALITY, like EVER, we’ve got somethings that have to be discussed about this week’s “episodes” , obviously.

As well as going forward, OK?

It’s NOT okay, it’s horrible and repugnant to say, if not think racist and xenophobic remarks and in this instance, I’m talking about Roseanne Barr, but this isn’t the first time she’s hurled hateful racist stuff to another woman, among the hateful stuff she’s hurled for years to many others, which I find baffling, as her politics really are way more Bernie Sanders, than they ever been like 45.

It’s not okay, to say vulgar hateful misogynist remarks, as well as the entire quote because “putting on a tight dress and go see you’re father”(I know that’s not verbatim even though I saw the show this morning) is NOT okay, Samantha Bee, it is just disgusting to have done that to Ivanka.

And for the New York Post, Kim Kardashian West did NOT deserve the slut shaming sexist repugnant crap on your cover of your paper today (it’s still 5-31-18 in the U.S).

It doesn’t matter where you lean politically, if there’s any hope we’re going to have any chance as a society of being okay, we have to learn how to NOT be hateful to one another, regardless of race, religion, political preference, gender and socio-economics, and weight (whether it’s fat bashing or thin/skinny shaming) leanings/preferences, just because you don’t agree with them or who they are.

And with the above being said, it’s still  difficult to think and not be somewhat horrified, that 2 strong and smart women and a popular publication, didn’t think about what they said before they went on Twitter, on their television show and a publication, (as that cover had to at least go by one woman, before it was published), respectively which all involved not only all kinds of hateful rhetoric but again, that pesky sexist, if not misogynist hateful crap from one woman to another woman.

It’s even more perversely pathetic, when a multi-complex disabled activist has to call women out, who are not only way more successful in all areas of their lives, that I could NEVER be.

And it’s sad for me, for someone where I admired Roseanne Barr prior to 2008, as a comic, activist, entrepreneur and actress.

I LOVE Samantha Bee, her show is “liberal cognitive crack” for people like me, but I don’t know how I can watch her show anymore, because I don’t have to be a fan of Ivanka Trump, to know what was NOT only said, but now, DONE to her was AWFUL and I don’t know something like that could be even written, if not aired, by anyone, but especially a mostly female writing staff, but whether or not she wrote it, Sam was the one who said it on national television.

I also do read New York Post online on occasion, bye bye, to that, too, as KKW was honestly trying to help someone, even if she was sunbathing nude on a beach, she didn’t deserve that cover.

Now, ONLY if I could find a way, given that I’m not social media much but still can’t manage to find a way without going off the internet completely, on how to avoid anymore “The Wrong And The Feckless” episodes that air almost minute by minute basis.

And stay tuned, as if you thought you hated me or this blog before, wait til in a near future blog, I address acts of misandry and androphobia, yet again, by famous people and also perpetuated by the media,  regardless of gender of those who are committing it and/ or political preference.

Note: I won’t publish (unless, they’re like moronically hilarious directed at me, personally and that’s only a maybe) hateful comments.

 

 

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