In defense of #HCMC ‘s Ketamine study and possibly protocol for potentially violent and violent patients…

Workplace Violence in Healthcare: What Does the Data Say?

https://bringmethenews.com/minnesota-news/hennepin-healthcare-vows-improvements-after-review-into-ketamine-use-on-police-subjects

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS: My normal disclaimers do NOT apply as far as my NOT being a  clinically trained medical and mental health professional or NOT being trained in law enforcement and/or public safety, as this blog addresses the safety threats to first responders and healthcare professionals locally, but this is a dialogue that above study  in first link, that addresses on a national level, the threat that healthcare workers are up against with patients who are ALREADY in an acute facility for evaluation and treatment when in mental  and/or medical crisis or combination there of or that first responders are potentially in danger, when responding to a crisis call.

I have in NUMEROUS blogs, advocated for patients rights, in this case though, as in a few other blogs that I’ve written, the patients that I’m advocating for ARE the first responders and healthcare providers that are in danger when verbal de-escalation techniques may not be the most effective, which can not only jeopardize a patient in who is in medical and mental health crisis, but the first responders and healthcare providers who are trying to stabilize them.

There are already local and national activists who advocate for verbal de-escalation, I don’t agree and I think someone who isn’t a peer as a first responder or healthcare worker needs to advocate for safety of people who work in these professions.

If this is a topic as a patient, that could be triggering, please do not read.

***

About 8 months ago, I blogged about a less than ideal encounter at Hennepin Healthcare’s emergency department, from the perspective of a patient, where I felt that I had been unfairly labeled and was also given prescription high strength ibuprofen that I never filled, as a patient who had a gastrointestinal bleed history and NSAIDs are an AWFUL treatment option for me.

The rare 4 times I’ve been in the emergency department at that facility and ONLY at that facility in the last 5 years in their emergency department as a patient, truthfully before seeing above 2nd link or similar stories last year , when either in the waiting room or when roomed and waiting for care, truthfully, I had wondered why some very aggressive patients wandering around had NOT been sedated.

Not just for patient safety sake, both the patient themselves who were acting out and other potentially non violent sick patients who were being treated but for physicians, nurses, other hospital staff, as well as there is police and/or Hennepin County sheriffs at this facility.

I’ve also blogged several months ago about a nurse who was violently assaulted at Anoka Metro Regional Treatment Center and also  when 3 1/2 months ago a man who was under the influence of illegal substances had made a terroristic threat against my apartment building about blowing it up and also mentioned about wanting to kill me when he first saw me.

This is how I personally de-escalate situations when being harassed for money, sex and drugs.

I look the person in the eye, tell them I’m sorry that I can’t help them but that I don’t have any money, that I wish I had drugs but that I’m on probation and get drug tested (not true and all I’ll add to that, is my medication list is up to date at both FUMC and HCMC online resources as well as in my DNR/emergency  info in my phone) and depending on how agitated or aggressive they are, I’ll give them a cigarette and wish them well and go on my way.

OBVIOUSLY, clearly that’s a technique that NO first responder or any physician or nurse working with an unstable patient can actually  do.

I’m not the medical or mental whisperer, I realize that part of the reason, even dealing with extremely unstable people with a propensity to be violent, on a regular basis, is largely due to luck.

The big deal with Ketamine issue at HCMC was informed consent and some of the consequences with some of the patients needing to be intubated, afterwards.

The problem is that no one could say with absolute certainty that the patient would’ve been better off, the patients around them, the hospital staff and the first responders had they not been given Ketamine.

I clearly have a bias…

But the thing is, it’s not the hospital staff that if I have a patient encounter that I am not thrilled with the evaluation and treatment that scares me.

It’s the patients who are aggressive and agitated who pose a threat to staff and patients who aren’t sedated who scare me at HCMC, which I live 2 blocks away from and truthfully at  any hospital.

And those potential patients who are roaming in Minneapolis and St. Paul who are in crisis of some sort, who also I find terrifying.

I really have to wonder if those advocating on non medication interventions have ever been a patient, visitor or volunteer  at HCMC’s emergency department.

And in my case, I can just choose not to get treatment there, any longer, now that I have a DNR and just wait for my biannual medical visits with my longterm PCP of over 20 years in Princeton, a much smaller town, outside of the Twin Cities.

However HCMC’s  first responders, entire hospital staff and patients in medical crisis who don’t have a predisposition to ever be violent and either need a level 1 trauma center or hospital closest to them, don’t have that as an option, to opt out.

This is a topic that needs more discussion, when patients in crisis, who are potentially a threat to themselves, really can’t give informed consent and are potentially a threat to first responders, healthcare workers and innocent others, and the injury risks and rates HAVE to be reduced, if they can’t be eliminated, for healthcare workers.

Note:  Again, I welcome respectful differences of opinion, even if they are opposing. Anything that threatens the welfare of myself or any of my readers will be reported to the proper authorities.

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“boiling it down” to who and what ya can do the most good for…

Important Disclaimers: I caught this earlier on You Tube this morning, which I love the channel and it’s content, which is important to say.

As well as why I was watching it, which was to distract myself to not have to write my last blog,  which it kind of forced me into saying what I did and why.

I’m only posting this blog, as a topic of respectful debate, at best.

As it’s a restaurant/workshop meant to do good.

BUT, by the nature of it being exclusionary, not on purpose, I think warrants a respectful discussion.

As always, because this blog DOES touch upon medical and mental health activism, that for those in medical and/or mental health crisis of some kind, need to get immediate in person help from appropriate in person facilities and specialists.

Thanks…

***

I’m not hating upon above video, again as said in my disclaimer, I love the channel and their content.

And in this particular video, it highlights a suicide prevention initiative with food.

But I did take issue with it, as an activist and made a thoughtful comment not to hate, but to start a discussion, if not on You Tube, then here.

The video if one chooses not to watch it, is about it a Boston based restaurant, who’s owner wanted to use food in a way, that positively impacts people, not only with their aspirations, but also when it comes to those who’s depression that could be fatal to them.

This is the issue I have with it, as I watch a bit of food related videos, to decompress or as distraction and I’m definitely  not used to videos on this channel making me rush into writing an activism related blog.

I do not think that it is a good idea, for a lot of people to have a quantitative food specific goal as a stepping stone associated for important life goal setting and or depression eradicating purposes as seen in the video.

I could see why the initiative and restaurant would be inspiring to some, I just couldn’t understand how it’s kind of tone deaf and why it doesn’t appear to be that way, even as unintentional as it is, to others.

I don’t say this because I after everything I’ve done to lose weight, even with having bariatric surgery, could never do something like this and would never want to.

I’m a disabled introverted activist with a psychotic digestive system, that I can’t eat even 9 years status post gastric bypass reversal, an unspecified amount of food privately or publicly.

In my particular case, I have to eat what I can tolerate and stop when I feel satisfied, as full hurts.

I had to take whether or not a food would make me gain weight out of the equation for my medical and mental health.

As there are healthy foods I love that I can’t tolerate any longer and I’m not going to eat unhealthy foods that I don’t like, as a punishment of any kind and just try to  enjoy foods without qualifying them, the ones I like and can tolerate, for that reason.

I don’t eat anything that I don’t REALLY like at this point, I  eat one meal during the day in the 10 months, and one yogurt before bedtime (which is the only food I eat for health reasons and my digestive system HATES yogurt, but my taste buds like it, at this point, which always changes) which works for me, and I realize others have to find their own way that works for them.

I hope going forward there will be similar initiatives that are more inclusive, as my comment on video, even bariatric patients or vegans and people with religious beliefs that dictate how and what they eat, for example, bond over food in some way.

Just not at the restaurant featured, I’m guessing…

Anyways, if you want to start a respectful discussion, here you go.

If you don’t, that’s okay, too.

Why #BillMaher going forward, is gonna have a lot of trouble convincing me that he ain’t Trump’s mean little bitchy wanna be brother, from a different mother…

Important Disclaimers/Trigger Warnings: I’m writing this to achieve  activism goals that I really shouldn’t have to make, but unfortunately feel compelled to, after watching a segment on a Real Fucking Shame, oops I meant Real Time with Bill Maher early yesterday morning.

IF body politics, real politics and profanity offend you, please stop reading this, like NOW.

Also no intention meant to offend any orangutans is intended, as they don’t hate on humans based upon weight, looks, gender and age, like other humans do to each other.

***

I’m NOT supposed to be writing THIS.

I’m supposed to be writing a blog about how yesterday, the 9th anniversary of my fucking gastric bypass reversal, how I’m doing, well, like 9 years later.

Which I really didn’t want to do, either.

If I’m gonna be honest…

However, my gastric bypass reversal and suicide prevention blogs are the most read blogs of mine, ever.

And not just exclusive to the United States or North America, they get quite read regularly on all 6 continents except Antarctica.

Here’s the thing…

As someone who does serious activism as a blogger, who lives an unrecognizable life that did a 180, 16 years ago and who leans on the liberal side (clearly with a conservative streak, as exhibited in my LAST blog) I count on weekends that air a new Real Shame with the funny but I knew didn’t love fat people but looked away Bill Maher, as long as he didn’t constantly remind me of that.

As I needed the distraction of his non fat bashing humor to distract from all these sad, scary and intense news cycles.

I can’t give though Bill Maher a pass any longer on his fat people hatred.

I know too much that plays into trauma that leads to people being of excess weight and too little weight.

I know the desperation that a lot of people feel from being hated on by being of fat that at best, depending on how much they weigh, leads them to drastic interventions like bariatric surgery which I’m NOT against, knowing people who died from both severe morbid Obesity complications or suicide, when wanting a surgical intervention they couldn’t have.

Although, I am better suited for helping those in crisis medically and mentally for those who’ve had catastrophic gastric bypass complications that might lead to a need for a gastric bypass reversal in patients, who also have in real life medical and mental health professionals treating them.

And  how difficult it is, after having talking to many of those people who may need it, into a reversal, who don’t want one because they would rather be dead than fat again and how devastating and terrifying that is for a patient and any of their providers, myself included having that responsibility on them/us.

Bill Maher didn’t have to throw fat people to the wolves, or anyone, to make a point about things that are taxing our health care system.

And clearly he has never worked in health care or in insurance, like I have, where things like a rehab for non professional athletes with serious sport injuries or people with addiction issues, is also expensive.

I know this blog will be read and disliked  for multiple reasons.

And I do defend Trump supporters and don’t think they are bad humans.

Up until yesterday, I  could defend Bill Maher.

That’s until he proved he is dispositionally just as dangerous as Donald Trump is.

Donald Trump has never pretended other than in election cycles to like  people who aren’t thin and pretty and who aren’t poor for the last several decades.

So I can’t and I won’t shame people who still will support Bill Maher in any way, just like I don’t with Trump fans.

It’s not up to me, nor do I feel uncomfortable wishing harm upon anyone, I think people doing that so freely, who do feel comfortable,especially in the digital era they are and it is so dangerous and I’m not capable of it, even though I’m no longer wishing Bill Maher a super great life, either.

And at  least I don’t feel bad now, for at least hoping that Bill Maher, has a prescription in high doses of Zyprexa and Seroquel in his future and would love to see how that works out, especially with his love for weed and would love to see how he would fare, in regards to his weight.

For the fucking love of everything holy, please don’t generically fat bash anyone, John Oliver, those of us bigger liberals with a BMI over 30 are counting on you…

Note: Anything that’s hateful may or may not  be responded to, depending on how stupid it is.

Anything that is direct threat to my or anyone’s life, will be reported to the proper authorities.

What the #NRA , #PresidentTrump and #MitchMcConnell can to do to help make America safer without backing down on anything regarding their personal beliefs on gun control…

Important Disclaimers: I am not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor do I have any training in law enforcement and/or public safety.

If you or someone you know is at risk of hurting, if not killing themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.
***

As scared as I am to write this blog, I’m more scared NOT to say anything or do anything.

This last holiday weekend was awful in tragedies that might have been preventable, in this case I’m talking about the shootings in Texas, Alabama and on Monday in Texas when a group of older teens pulled a gun on Popeye employees because they were out of chicken sandwiches.

I’m all for universal backround checks.

I also believe there should be a law requiring backround checks at private gun shows, and not only that, but  when it comes to any private gun sale.

I can’t though believe that will stop all gun violence and a lot of these massacres.

I also don’t believe in demonizing non violent mentally ill people as a scapegoat as that’s not going to make people safer, either.

Just like demonizing 2nd amendment advocates and NRA members who are responsible gun owners doesn’t make us any safer.

As an activist/blogger for violent crime prevention, on a local, national and global scale, what I’ve noticed at least in my local research is an escalation of violence, where it could’ve been predicted some of the domestic homicide/suicides and law enforcement murders.

While I think our President, the senate Majority leader and the NRA could do immediately is not only denounce the horrific gun massacres and gun related injuries and murders by at least denouncing the murderers themselves and instead of putting the emphasis on mental illness, put it on the past violent evil coward’s criminal history that quite a few of these people had.

What’s not being talked about and it’s shocking, as while any murder from a massacre is a tragedy, in case what happened in the 2 massacres in Texas last month, people who were Trump supporters and 2nd amendment defenders were also brutally murdered.

The vile evil cowards, even in the case of El Paso, didn’t take into consideration that they shot at and had killed Trump voters and 2nd amendment believers and the Dayton shooter, just shot as many people as possible, with no regard of race, gender, politically affiliation, 2nd amendment beliefs or age of the victims.

At at a bare minimum, we owe it to the victims and their families to stigmatize without giving attention to those who commit these atrocities and to make it clear with initiatives for prevention by bringing up not only will they cause horrific irrevocable harm not just on the family and friends of the victims which clearly they don’t care about  but of their own loved ones who do love them and would never think for a second to hurt another human being.

If something like that could at least be looked into with initiatives, for prevention, evaluation, treatment and a database that observes and flags recent factors of people with a past violent criminal history that haven’t shown signs of being rehabilitated when they have multiple violent criminal histories, could maybe do something to reduce these massacres.

Again, I’m not trying to hurt those who’ve lost loved ones due to gun violence, but I honestly can’t believe that if someone can’t obtain a gun legally, they won’t steal guns or weaponize something else to commit mass murder.

And while thoughts and prayers don’t do anything to try and reduce these tragedies, neither is all the fighting about gun control which only at best could potentially reduce the primary weapon of choice in some  of these massacres, but tragically it doesn’t reduce the desire to kill in violent mentally deranged evil cowards who will most likely kill regardless of being able to access firearms.

Note: I’m all for differences of opinions when shared respectfully. Anything not shared respectfully or any type of threat made against me , someone who’s a passionate non monetized violent crime blogger and activist will be reported immediately to the proper law enforcement agency/agencies.

Doing something ONCE but the consequences lasting FOREVER…

(I wrote a poem on the eve of the 11th anniversary of my “one and only” suicide attempt and on the 5th anniversary of a death of a beloved icon. Cause I’m old school in the digital era, I typed the poem on my email vs. meme generators, then took a picture of it with my smartphone, uploaded it to my large android tablet with keyboard, cause I find most apps as well as smartphones to be that YUCKY, but that is how I am, my outlook with others, is you just do you, boo, OK? thanks/you’re welcome)

IMPORTANT Disclaimers: This blog is to achieve more of a personal something vs. activism goal. Given most of my activism is rooted in life and death medical and mental health issues and circumstances, I do take liberties personally when talking about my OWN mental health and medical issues that I wouldn’t with another.

If serious topics sometimes not taken so seriously that are wordy and with some profanity, are a trigger to anyone, please do not read this blog.

And as always, if you or someone you know is a danger to themselves or others, please contact in person emergency services in your area.

Anyhoo, let the whatever (not sure if this will be a somewhat serious blog, fun, mayhem, crazy, super wordy(looks like wordy, as I’m over 200 words in, in just my disclaimer) probably combination of, commence…

***
Sigh…

I guess this has to start somewhere, right?

And if you’re familiar with me, or my writing, ya know I digress.

A lot…

So anyhow I happened to be outside last Friday night (unusual for me, as I’m a recluse who spends 99% of time alone, in my apartment in the last 2 1/2 years) and this lady who happened to be helping my neighbor with something, on her way out, started a conversation with 2 of my neighbors and myself where we were watching construction (neverending, on my side of da Miniapple) at 9pm on a Friday night in front of our building.

Okay, I know she meant well.

She started out the conversation about keeping active and looking good for 52 and while my neighbors gave her a compliment, I didn’t. I didn’t want to explain why and say “you look good for any age” or give any thing away that could explain my former life at first.

When she asked us without verbatim of basically “how do people FUCKING end up in a really poor building in a really rich neighborhood???”, I just basically said I was a disabled non monetized blogger and my neighbors gave some version of their stuff.

I’ve gotten really good or really bad depending on how you look at it, at answering that question in the last 10 years.

If I wanted to keep guessing and on occasion when I get some form of that question, I could just say “x amount of years ago I was a size 2 Certified Personal Trainer” which I did end up saying to her is the reason why I blogged, before returning to my apartment last Friday night.

I don’t answer that way most of the time, even though the looks people give me, are nothing short of amazing, because it doesn’t do the life I had regardless of weight,  prior to 2008, absolutely any justice.

Especially the time of my life, that I was a working full time, proactive loving single mother of 2 children.

Which will always be the best time of my life, starting in 1992 when my only son was born, getting even better when his sister was born 10 1/2 years later and ENDING in August of 2008 when I gave up custody of  both of my children to my parents and tried to commit to suicide due to severe medical issues and mental health ones, 5 days later.

Today is the 11th anniversary of my “one and only” suicide attempt.

Which is in great detail in my very first blog on here, exactly 6 years ago.

Other than NOT dying, the consequences of my suicide attempt were pretty severe.

The same could be said of my gastric bypass and Mirena, my 2nd trial of Fentanyl, my 3rd trial of Topamax at different times after my gastric bypass reversal in 2010.

I’m not even going to mention all my other bizarre near death experiences outside of the realm of my control, prior to my gastric bypass in 2001, in this blog.

I started this blog for a few reasons.

Primarily, as I’ve said before, that what I went through and so unfortunately put those I love through, wasn’t in vain.

That topics that are stigmatized would be less so to help others, either in prevention of suffering or reducing it.

That my children had in my words, how much I love them, when my youngest who has no memory of my being a functional loving present mother and my oldest, who saw me at my best and worst, would have my words, if they ever needed them and I couldn’t articulate them any longer or when I’m no longer around.

But this is the mixed blessing of all of this, as 11 years later, I’m still reduced to only what I can SAY, to help others.

I’m not capable of doing the normal day to day stuff that other people do to SHOW others they love them.

I’ve said before, I don’t have a great life, even though I’m able to do some uncanny great things with these words I have.

I can help someone when they are suicidal because they have bariatric surgical regret and they want a gastric bypass reversal when it’s not medically indicated, on working through why it can’t help them.

I can help someone who NEEDS gastric bypass reversal to save their life, that they have to remain alive, if one of the fears they have is getting fat again after a reversal, for that to be an option.

I can help others who think those of us have bariatric surgery and think for those who advocate for it or against it (again I’m for it, a surgical intervention, like I am for opiates, when all other less invasive treatments have been exhausted) why people feel blessed and cursed, and for those of us who fall in the latter category, remind that bariatric surgery is supposed to enhance one’s life, not ruin it or take it away.

I don’t just stay in one lane when it comes to medical activism with bariatric surgery or with my “one and only” suicide attempt because I am much more than my own medical and mental health issues and so is everyone else and other’s health issues among many, such as cancer, need better treatment options, just like schizophrenia, does.

For someone who had to fight herself to die, 11 years ago and then had to fight so hard to stay alive less than 2 years later, I will be always be sad for what’s been really bad and grateful for what is good.

In my case I’m grateful I didn’t have a chance as not an attractive child to have preconceived notions of what my life would turn out being, I didn’t expect the extraordinary blessings and I couldn’t have in my worst nightmares think about what the bad stuff would look like.

And in the digital era that has served me well, to not want to hurt, be hurt to prepare for the unexpected, even though I will always fear it.

But this is my life and I’m more than the wordy gastric bypass reversed chick who nearly got committed for one and only suicide attempt and leads a small life that is peppered with some amazing things, circumstances and people and I’m committed to if I can’t help someone that I don’t hurt them.

Some people go their entire lives not knowing the damage they are capable of, or that they caused and/or they don’t care and while all humans hurt another, some do on a major scale without remorse.

I’m many things that I don’t particularly love, but am grateful that I’m NOT that.

And I’m not an evil coward. I help when I can and stay to myself otherwise, and that in my circumstances, has to be enough.

Even though it really isn’t.

How could it be???

But it is what it is….

Note: Anything that’s not constructive to me or anyone else, will be published.

 

The #ElPaso and #Dayton Evil Cowards…

Important Disclaimers:  I’m not a clinically trained medical, mental health professional nor do I have any training or credentialing in matters of law enforcement, criminal forensic psychology and/or public safety.

Important additional note: This blog was originally written but not published, Saturday night, I fell asleep for a few hours, woke up to the news of the Dayton massacre and decided to wait on releasing this, which other than updating ANOTHER mass shooting and 11 more deceased victims and another 27 injured victims,  than I originally wrote about in a several hour period, realized NOTHING I needed to say needed to change, others actions need more immediacy in the realm of initiatives that need to be created, in hopes to prevent these tragedies happening over and over again.

I’ve stayed off social media, for the most part, because feeling horrible and heartbroken for these victims, their families and communities, were about the most I could handle, I didn’t want to see people fighting about these tragedies.

It helps no one to fight about what’s most right to end this and just think of multiple different initiatives that take into consideration the differences that go  into the mindsets of potential perpetrators who plan these evil atrocities and what can be done to get them not execute them and innocent people.  Peace…

***

I happen to have been out to a late lunch mid Saturday afternoon with my boyfriend, when I first heard  about the mass shooting at a shopping center in El Paso, Texas.

I haven’t read too much about the situation in the news, just getting the most important facts, such as 20 people killed and 26 people injured in what’s being called a possible hate crime, by an evil coward.

Well he wasn’t called an evil coward in the news stories that I’ve seen, I’m staying away for now, from social media, as what happened is bad enough, at this point if people are arguing about stricter gun laws vs. right to legal gun ownership, I don’t wanna see it.

It isn’t going to help anyone now nor going forward.

This is what I know to be true as an activist for violent crime prevention.

If we don’t find a way to have more initiatives that promote the sanctity and peaceful right to life that human beings should all have, it won’t matter the method.

I have said this numerous times in writing about violent crimes, it’s not that the what, the who, the where doesn’t matter, as of course it does.

But it’s the WHY, that matters most of all, as far as wanting and having a chance of preventing some of the tragedies.

Rage, rejection and unfortunately, revenge by these evil cowards is always going to be the end result, if we don’t come together in hopes for prevention.

Calling them for what they are, evil cowards or if you want to add a few words, such as “violent unstable mentally deranged evil cowards”, also works.

But please stop lumping the violent unstable mentally deranged cowards with those of us who have mental illness and would never hurt another.

And again as I’ve said in the past, talking very little about the shameful evil cowards, once they’re caught or trying to prevent evil cowardice violent crime, with more initiatives is what we need right now.

Anyone who would do what these evil cowards  did, I don’t believe would be stopped if they didn’t have access to firearms.

I’m in no way saying that sane gun restrictions can’t help at times, as of course they could.

They can’t help though someone who for whatever reason, thinks many innocent people should horrifically  be slaughtered, when going about their day for whatever reason they think that, a massacre wouldn’t take place, if guns weren’t available, I can’t buy into.

It gives a false sense of security that just isn’t there with hateful evil cowards, that if they didn’t have access to a gun, they wouldn’t try to kill people otherwise.

I’m heartbroken for the victims, families and friends and the El Paso community with what happened yesterday and of course, also what happened in Dayton, several hours later on Sunday morning.

But pay attention to the last sentence, in above meme, that gives us something to come together on, for those of us who want to stop these tragedies from happening over and over again, regardless of what you feel about guns, immigration and partisan politics.

“Evil is bad that believes it’s good”…

That will continue to kill many innocent people, until people of all different beliefs, come together with the understanding that people deserve and believe in the sanctity of a peaceful life for everyone and that this vile division that now exists, will not get any better, if people don’t realize we need multiple initiatives to try and combat all these massacres and other evil violent crime.

Note: Anything that isn’t constructive will not be posted…

Everything I did RIGHT and the one thing I did WRONG, when calling #911 to report a #DowntownMinneapolisSafetyHazard, 2 months ago….

(picture of Thrivent Smith Lot at 7th St and 5th Avenue in DT East, the relevance of picture will be clearer in body of blog, picture taken by me, a few months ago)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained or credentialed medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in law enforcement or public safety. I do though deal with less than ideal situations as a private citizen and as an activist, and in this instance, when calling for help from emergency responders, it did fail me. I still will always recommend when someone is or if someone they witness is in crisis, they get help immediately by calling 911 or emergency services in your country of residence.

***
May 26th, 2019, around 7:30 p.m. :
“911, What’s your emergency?”
“My name is Alissa Kasen, I live at 72- 5th Avenue, a man who’s under the influence of illegal drugs, just walked by me, stopped suddenly and started screaming that he wanted wanted to blow up my apartment building, which he’s still sitting in front of”
“Can you please repeat your name and your building address?”
“Alissa Kasen, address is 72- 5th Avenue South, I created a diversion, and am a 1/2 a block away from him, at the Thrivent parking lot at 5th and 7th and I’m telling people not to walk in front of my apartment building, after trying trying to deescalate his anger, by acknowledging the hate he’s been subjected to, being Somali and he was angry that his race has caused him issues getting jobs, a place to live and women to date and I lied and said that I, Mayor Frey, Representative Omar and Police Chief Arrodondo is working against all the the Somali hate that exists. I don’t think he has an IED on him, he’s just enraged and looking for a fight”.
“Okay, we will send a squad, right away”.

Now what I repeated above, is almost verbatim of what I told that man, as well as what I told 911. That he was enraged, I didn’t think though he had an IED on his person, I described what he looked like, 5’6, approximately 120 lbs, Somali, tan pants, blue top and he was carrying a grey  hoodie.

The issue that still haunts me, 2 months later, is that while I described him perfectly, I did NOT describe myself, which I was a a heavyset female, with slightly messy red hair and unfortunately for me,  I didn’t describe what I wore or what I looked like.

And while I knew better to go back into my building, before I cleared my block, as we have handicapped door entrances that open and close slowly and that’s why I didn’t feel safe for me to go into my apartment building because he could’ve followed me in and also presented a safety threat to the residents in my building  and as well as I texted my boyfriend who  I was waiting outside for, as he was going to pick me up for dinner and I told him NOT to go in front of my building, as there was a safety emergency in front of it,  I made that one bad mistake, that really no one could blame me for, as I described the perpetrator, I didn’t think that I’d have to describe what I looked like, at all, especially not knowing at the time I called 911, that he’d confront me again.

From where I was facing, when I was in the parking lot next to my building, there’s no way that a squad could’ve come by to address the situation without me seeing it.

And unfortunately while they never showed in the 8-10 minutes I was waiting before my boyfriend picked me up at the end of my block, that man resurfaced again, after I concluded my 911 call,  angry that I lied to him, as I got away the first time from him, lying about a friend who had a medical emergency that I had to attend to.

Also admitting while he appreciated my kindness initially with having empathy for him and the prejudices he faced, he also admitted that his first thought when he saw me, was that he wanted to kill me, when approaching me that 2nd time. And he went from being maniacally like that, to asking me to have sex, give him drugs and money and asking if he could he hang out with me.

While I eventually as fear stricken as I was, able to kindly explain, I didn’t have anything to give him, that I did feel bad for him though and he let me be, he eventually started bothering a driver waiting at the light at 5th Avenue and 7th Street next to the parking lot next to my apartment building that 2nd time he found me and by the time my boyfriend picked me up, he had moved a block a way, where he was arguing with someone else.

I didn’t call 911 back right away, once my boyfriend picked me up. I did though a few hours later, called the non emergency number for the City of Minneapolis who did say they dispatched a squad .

I’m not accusing them of lying, what I am saying, 2 months later, is maybe because I wasn’t arguing or confrontational with the  erratic illegal unstable drug addict,  the 2nd time that when he approached me again,  the police who I never saw during that time period, at least, if they actually showed, didn’t bother to get involved, with me horrifically thinking my contact with a drug enraged stranger, was consensual, just based upon what I looked like, as I couldn’t have been clearer on what that man looked like.

It still haunts me, that happened, even though I get harassed a lot, even as as unkempt female, as I look like in public frequently, that others may think I have no standards, when I’m out and about, as it’s not my idea of a good time, hanging around dealers, erratic illegal drug abusers, people prone to criminal activity and people asking me for money, sex and cigarettes all the time.

But the difference is, 2 months ago, I did call 911 for help.

So, I guess going forward, should that happen again, not only will I have to explain of what a violent drug and sex seeking perpetrator looks like, I guess I’ll have to describe myself, so a mistake isn’t made, just because I’m NOT attractive that I would want attention like that.

I love our Minneapolis First Responders, whether they be police, fire or HCMC staff.

But, I should’ve never been put in that situation. Had that man been any farther foregone, it’s not a stretch that he could’ve killed me or someone else, given how irrational and enraged he was.