It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a medical or mental health professional, nor do I have any training law enforcement or public safety.

This is the 2nd part of my normal disclaimer that’s just breaking my heart as an activist and human being, where I normally would say, that if YOU or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact 911, immediately.

Being a Minnesota resident where I’m seeing initiatives that are hoping to help the victims of the Buffalo Crossroads massacre and the community heal, as well as try to provide resources, the last thing I want to do do as an activist is hurt anyone if they find that people coming together to support is what they need to get on that path of healing, if that’s enough for them.

The concerns I have though is if more is NOT done to address those who are make terroristic threats, act in a violent manner with a criminal history that shows an escalation of violent criminal behavior, this wasn’t the first time a mass shooting with a similar motive was carried out and it won’t be the last.

In this blog though I’m going to address the Buffalo Crossroad mass shooting and other Minnesota violent crimes that either went viral or didn’t, where in one case there was a fatality outside of the mass shooting at Buffalo Crossroads, the other 2 where grave physical harm was inflicted with depraved violent criminal acts that also in hindsight, might also have been prevented, as the perpetrators of these/those crimes had enough of a violent criminal conviction history and escalation as time went by, that it didn’t just happen out of nowhere.

IF though for one’s peace of mind and a need to heal is by relying on one’s community , religous guidance and other resources, I don’t want to cause further emotional distress and would ask that you please don’t read the blog.

Also if you want to help the victims and/or the community of Buffalo Crossroads, here’s the link:


I’m not psychic but for whatever reason, for almost a year now, I’ve been worried about something like the horrific mass shooting at Buffalo Crossroads happening and it’s referenced in blogs that I wrote and published last year, in addition to all the local, national and global mass murders that I’ve blog about for many years.

I wrote a blog on Tuesday evening after following the news story since the mass shooting broke and again, while I’m not a clinically trained profesional nor do I have any formal training in public safety or criminal psychology, I had suspected from midday when I first read online about the shooting, thought that drugs and revenge were an issue, and later, once they named the alleged suspect, I was kind of surprised that his criminal and civil record didn’t match more of the information that came out later Tuesday night after I wrote my 1st blog about the mass shooting and yesterday on Wednesday 2/10/21.

I did take a screenshot tonight before starting this blog (which was started late evening 2/11/2021, but will not be published until 2/12/2021) and the order for protection that was issued on 2018 and the complaint that the alleged shooter made about wanting to kill people that proceeded that order, well there’s NO accessible charge for like there has been in the past of violent criminals of who’ve I blogged about or researched on other local violent criminals.

One could say and they would be right, whether or not there’s an accessible charge for the public to read regarding the threats Gregory Paul Ulrich had made doesn’t matter.

This is the ISSUE though:

The terroristic threats did matter as well as the erratic and violent behavior that was displayed, they mattered enough for Gregory Ulrich to be banned from Buffalo Crossroads clinic and Buffalo Hospital in 2018 whether or not there’s a criminal charge on his record reflecting the terroristic threats .

I don’t like to lay blame and I’m not trying to do that.

But, I don’t know how somone could make threats, have displays of erratic and potential if not volatile behavior and because there’s no charges in 2018 as evidenced in top screenshot to see, if there would’ve been perhaps it would’ve led to some form of incarceration or involuntary civil commitment to protect people from something like this from happening, which he said he was going to do and horrifically he actually did.

Most people in law enforcement, as well as those who work in domestic violence shelters know that if someone is volatile and erratic that orders for protection or banning from a facility lots of times doesn’t mean anything to erratic violent criminals.

The man who threw the little boy off of the 3rd floor balcony at Mall of America had been banned from there for multiple violent issues prior to his vicious assault of that little boy and while his psychological state was in question, he didn’t have an attempt for civil commitment, either.

The same with the extremely violent evil coward who murdered Mendota Heights police officer Scott Patrick in 2014 and the same with the extremely violent evil coward who attempted to murder Waseca police officer Arik Matson who was gravely injured in 2020 where both their respective shooters had an extensive history of violent crime charges and convictions.

The reason why I digressed, was to make a point, is because we have to do more when it comes to people who either threaten horrific violent crime and /or actually commit these crimes but once that happens, it’s too late for any of their victims especially in crimes they lead to fatalities.

Minnesota health care professionals PRIOR to the pandemic have been worried about their safety on the job due to violence escalation, for a long time, something I’ve also have addressed as an activist blogger.

As well as the general public having a sense of not feeling safe that just keeps growing, obviously for good reason.

I’m not saying that there isn’t a need for some criminal justice reform in first time non violent criminals, but this isn’t the blog to discuss this.

This is the blog to discuss if criminals who have a predisposition to be violent, their criminal legal history indicates an inability to be rehabilitated and/or they make threats of violent criminal acts and a desire to kill people that has been reported, our local and state government agencies have to do more in not letting repeated violent offenders have light to no prison sentences and for those who make horrific violent threats with a limited violent criminal history, maybe they shouldn’t be walking around in public, either.

I know this was wordy and I know multiple communities are grieving the Buffalo Crossroads mass shooting as well as victims and their loved ones of victims that were mentioned in past local violent crimes are still grieving.

But, this just can’t be for nothing or in vain, where if no constructive change in action occurs in the best interest of people’s safety and we just accumulate more violent tragedies, more victims that die and/or are gravely injured and more grieving family, friends and communities just because criminals who commit these horrific acts of crime didn’t have long enough legal consequences such as incarceration or if found to be extremely mentally ill were not committed when they should’ve been.

Important Note: I’m open to constructive feedback but anything that isn’t constructive, will not be posted.

I’m editing this on 2/15/2021 to add a link for a blog written by a Minnesota physician that has good insight from a physicians perspective on the challenges facing doctors when it comes to their fears regarding their safety and their challenges when it comes to prescribing and then taking patients off opiates:

Important Edit 2/11/2021: At the time this blog was written and published, only the name of alleged shooter was released and when I checked his criminal and civil record, which is a matter of public record, the order for protection and/or any charges that would proceed a need for that such as the threats he made to kill people, wasn’t a part of his record on 2/9/2021.

I’ll either edit this blog or keep it and write an addditional one, to elaborate further given that obviously warrants more discussion about this particular atrocity, given the fact he did threaten exactly what he did in 2018 which makes this even more horrific, because it was possibly more preventable had more action been taken against him whether it would’ve been incarceration or a civil commitment.


Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor do I have any training in criminal psychology, law enforcement or public safety.

I can only urge that people in crisis will contact emergency services, if they or someone they know are in danger of hurting themselves or others.

Important Trigger Warnings: I do NOT believe that gun restrictions and even more opiate restrictions would’ve necessarily prevented the horrific tragedy that occurred today.

Because there has been both an increase in gun violence tragedies and overdoses, I don’t want to trigger anyone who’s lost a loved one or who had a loved one’s life changed for worse due to gun violence or opiate addiction.

What, if there was anything that might have prevented today’s tragedy (this blog is being written on 2/9/2021 but WP will show it being published on 2/10) and the dialogue though I think we as a society has to talk about, is why this blog is being written.


I happen to be reading my local news as a Minnesota resident when the story first broke about the mass shooting at Buffalo Crossroads and was heartbroken to hear of it.

I did for whatever reason have to wonder if drugs were an issue with this, even though tragedy just screamed as a revenge shooting of some kind even prior to the name of the suspect being released.

Several hours ago when they did actually, in fact name the suspect, I did check his criminal record and while having alcohol related driving offenses on his record and a criminal charge for a small amount of possession of marijuana, nothing seemed to jump out at me with his record that would make me think that this possibly could be predictable, as while in the link above, where it says that he was banned from the clinic, there’s no charge that shows that he was banned at that clinic.

Several days prior to this tragedy occuring, another article made the news about another violent man:

His record which I checked after this article had posted would’ve given people like me, who write about violent crime prevention, of a criminal history that it could possibly predict a tragedy such as what happened today in Buffalo, compared to the alleged suspect in custody of today’s mass shooting at Buffalo Crossroads.

There’s a reason why most of my blogs about violent crime prevention center around people and the feelings and need to act on, when it comes to rejection, rage and revenge and what I’ve thought about in the past in having more initiatives and resources for evaluation and treatment for people who are capable of commiting these horrific tragedies, that’s if is it’s possible to rehabilitate them.

As well as highlighting the need if people suspect loved ones or friends of being possible of commiting these horrific crimes of seeking immediate help from appropriate professionals.

The reasons why I’m NOT quick to blame a weapon or things like opiates as a possible cause, not saying that they shouldn’t be discussed is multi-faceted and complex.

In the respect that I believe that choice of weapon/s and more of a push for gun control doesn’t address the root of violent crime and the desire for people due to rejection, rage and a need for revenge, if some of that or all of that is a factor in someone’s desire to cause great bodily harm, if not death and/or emotional psychological trauma and fear.

The issue with opioids should this be used as cautionary tale kind of acts in the same way as gun control, as not prescribing opioids in a lot of people don’t lead most people to find a find a dealer in patients with severe chronic pain for those who use narcotics wisely and respectfully when they’ve exhausted all other forms both non narcotic pharmaceutical and non pharmaceutical pain management protocols, let alone patients who’ve had narcotics pulled for them leading to them being banned from a medical facility.

That needs to obviously be part of a larger discussion with all of this but pressing is the need for more resources for support for physicians, first responders and the public when so many people are already being taxed due to the pandemic and then become victims and have loved ones become victims of a horrific violent tragedy.

The majority of the local to Minnesota violent crimes awareness and prevention that I’ve written about in the past, the alleged suspect to convicted multiple criminal count offenders were white.

Most had drug offenses, driving while intoxicated, some like the man who threw the boy off of the 3rd floor balcony at Mall of America was banned from there, as well as domestic violence charges.

What they didn’t have though, is an extensive amount of jail time for the crimes they committed such as criminals like Brian Fitch, Sr. who murdered Mendota Heights police officer Scott Patrick almost 7 years ago, where he had done quite a bit of jail and prison time but not enough prior to that murder for all the violent crimes he had committed and had been convicted for and who I personally think is the poster child of why Minnesota needs the death penalty.

Also NOT one of them though had a any civil penalties such as a push for putting them on psychotropic drugs nor the possibility of potentially commiting them, where maybe it’s not for me to say whether or not that would be appropriate but it’s worth also worth discussing as it applies to today’s horrific tragedy and the other tragedies here in the state of Minnesota, as well nationally and globally, so that tragedies like today’s mass shooting, doesn’t keep happening over again.

We owe today’s victims and past victims of violent crime not just here in Minnesota but everywhere, comprehensive discussion and input from appropriate professionals and the general public when it comes to prevention, potential of rehabilitation and appropriate punitive repercussions for those who have a criminal history that indicates an escalation of violent criminal behavior that leads to past tragedies and the horrific of tragedy that happened today 2/9/2021 at Buffalo Crossroads.

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims, their loved ones and friends, the Buffalo and Allina community, as well as medical, law enforcement and first responders who were effected by today’s horrific tragedy.

(more important other lifesaving links in my blog linked above, such as how to learn how to perform CPR and other emergency first aid , recognizing signs of stroke, fire prevention, evaluation of need of carrying naloxone for people who have loved ones with opioid abuse issues, as well as numerous other life saving skills)

Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional nor am I trained in matters of public safety, in normal circumstances I’d ALWAYS advise and still will advise in these abnormal times for anyone to contact emergency services if they or someone they love is in medical or mental health crisis.

With crisis resources though perhaps being critically taxed at times, it could NEVER hurt to learn emergency first aid and other crisis skills though, BEFORE an actual crisis.


When I originally published blog linked above, I was trying to be kind, trying to be more optimistic things may get better in 2021, that I really only put things out on the internet in hopes it can help people, even though people could always benefit from those skill sets.

In my life prior to becoming disabled, most of my adult life required being certified in CPR either work, volunteering or being a parent and 16 years ago when I was in the process of getting certified as a Personal Trainer.

I chose though prior to becoming disabled, to be trained in adult, child and infant CPR, as well as other emergency first aid, it giving me some peace of mind that I could do something as a parent or person.

I’ve ONLY had to perform emergency first aid one time, 17 years ago, an elderly neighbor of mine who I actually had to help evacuate our apartment building when there was a fire, tripped on her dog’s leash once outside and I had to help with major cut on her head that was bleeding as well as trying to keep my neighbor calm, as she was showing signs of neurological trauma that one didn’t necessarily need to be a physician to guess given where she sustained her most visible injuries and lacerations on her head, as well as on other parts of her body.

I have a big whopping headache right now and heartache and while I try to figure out if it’s even worth trying to see if our society can come together at all and to stop trying to be so hurtful and hateful for those we have differences, I may NOT be able to get anywhere with that.

And I just can’t understand why more people ESPECIALLY when they might have extra time on their hands, internet access and do have people they care about, at least learn emergency first aid and if they want to expand on that, there’s more resources again at the top of this blog and the blog I published that’s linked above as well as on You Tube.

I normally NEVER would believe that I’d have any kind of reason to feel morally superior to anyone, other than I figure if this cognitively disabled activist would try to save almost anyone’s life as much as I’m capable of, especially people I love the most where I’d risk dying for them, I don’t know why anyone else wouldn’t want to have skill sets that could save at least, a loved one’s life.

The other skill sets that I have as far as not being addicted to hating people, not being jealous of anyone and hoping people can concentrate more on their commonality versus their differences, elaborating on that will be attempted again (for the umpteenth time in the last several years) when I’m less headachy and heartache-y, but realized that I can’t wait to try and instill a desire to learn how to save a life (i.e a minimum of adult, child and infant cpr, choking, poison, burns, knowing signs of stroke) in others, someone who may read this and do something about it TODAY, could end up saving the life of someone they love, TOMORROW.

Important Note: Constructive feedback only, please.

Trigger Warnings: I thought movie was profound, in a very GOOD way.

It would’ve been profound in a very BAD way having neurologically sensitivities had I watched it on anything larger or louder than my 10 inch android tablet.

For people who have neurological or cognitive disabilities should keep that in mind when watching it at all or being careful where they watch it, i.e. digital device, movie theater and/or 3D/IMAX, etc….

Because this blog (the discussion not the review, itself) and my linked blog from last year might present SPOILERS for people, don’t read the comments should you read this blog and if you have seen the movie and/or choose to read my blog from last year and/or have an opinion about having superpowers or the movie and what you thought of it , feel free to comment below!!!


I haven’t seen a new movie in years!!!

If I had to wait for a movie, especially this one, after seeing the trailer over a year ago, I’d say it was definitely worth the wait, even though I’m kind of sad of why it took so long.

In my case even if I didn’t have cognitive/neuro issues being able where and how to watch the movie, living in Minnesota, I would’ve only had the choice to see on HBO Max, as the theaters are closed because of COVID-19, something I’m not wanting to discuss on this blog on whether you agree with orders like that or not, I’d rather just keep the conversation about the movie.

So what did you think of #WW84 , if you saw it?

And if you read my blog linked above and saw the movie, do you still have the same opinion, if you could have superpowers, would you and what would they be?

Important Notice: Comments that are NOT constructive will NOT be posted, thanks!!!!

For a long time being the freak of nature that I am, I’ve kind of I case wasted so much time wanting to believe that like, science was real.

Especially this year, being terror stricken about the whole COVID-19 crap, worrying about it killing innocent people, freaking out about the trauma medically and mentally it’s caused our healthcare professionals and first responders, in addition to the supposed survivors of what I think quite a few people are calling this, a “plandemic” and that lot of science and stuff on the news is fictional.

I know for me whether it is or not, when it comes to things that I’ve been embarrassed about, such as about being a long term cigarette smoker, as I’ve been led to believe in the last 35 1/2 years that I’ve been smoking that like there’s carcinogens in cigarettes, but maybe carcinogens aren’t real either and I’ve never gotten sick from smoking, as I got diagnosed with asthma before I ever picked up a cigarette at the age of 15 1/2 .

And smoking does help a lot to relax me, so it’s doing me a lot of good, so maybe those who are stressed from what I will now believe that those morons behind mainstream media have no idea what’s healthy or not or those so called doctors who also say smoking is a bad thing have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to ‘rona and smokes.

I know in my case where being fat has been an issue because it’s made me ugly, it’s never been a medical health issue for me and I’m beginning to think that while people might want to think about losing weight if they want to, if they feel or are ugly like me, if I can be fat and not be unhealthy because of it, why there’s a lot of people where maybe if fat people and thin people die due to something like a heart attack, maybe they made God mad or something or are bad people and its has NOTHING to do with science or medical malarkey.

I feel SO stupid, having believed medicine as a science and art form, all my life and I’ve wasted all this time up until now, so foolishly thinking that there was a need for medical activism.

Especially, lately I’ve been super sad , as a friend’s 8 year old child was recently diagnosed with DIPG, a supposedly aggressive form of brain cancer that is always fatal, supposedly, with the median survival time is approximately less than a year from being diagnosed.

But, worse than her so called cancer, maybe in her case I’ve been wasting all this time reading pediatric neuro-oncology studies trying to find out something or someone that might be able to save her or even caring.

She seems like a sweet kid, but for all I know, she could be a serial killer!!!

And I’m just flooded with all these other mistakes I’ve made believing in so called “science”.

I actually had my children vaccinated being dumb enough to listen to their doctors when they were young and while one is 28 and the other is almost 18, what if something happens because of that???

So, here’s to me turning a new leaf and trying to be less of a libtard, even though I’ve always tried to be more in the middle with my beliefs.

From now on, I am going to think and believe that advocating that people have a right to a safe and peaceful right to their lives online and offline , is ridiculous.

And I’m going to also stop pleading for people to try to agree to disagree, peacefully.

I don’t wanna to go to jail, so I’m just going to be steadfast that I know everything and I’m always right and for how long it takes, argue with people online to let them know how wrong they are.

Especially, I’m just not made to be violent and again I think doing something that would land me in jail or prison, being in those places might be kind of a drag.

And I’m not sure if one is allowed to smoke in jail, although they should be able to!!!

So, anyways back to the whole plandemic thing, if I am not going to do the whole medical activism thingy anymore, I still kinda like wanna write so I’m just pick different causes to do activism for such as:

1. Blind people should have the right to drive
2. Blind people should have the right to hunt with a gun
3. People should be able to drink alcohol and operate a motor vehicle
4. People should be able to smoke everywhere including schools,hospitals and daycares, as well as being able to go anywhere even when they feel really ill, as a lot of people have every right to believe that contagion, pathogens and carcinogens aren’t real things, as if God loves them they will be fine, if he doesn’t , they must be bad people and that’s why they get sick

So, I’m going to get right on working on those causes above, where people’s civil liberties are being so infringed upon, right after I come back from going outside to have a cigarette, as my own civil liberties are being infringed upon not being able to smoke inside my own apartment!!!

Important Note: Yes, I absolutely am, in my own clever and charming way making fun of conspiracy theorists, COVID-19 and science deniers and anti-vaxxers because even if beliefs aren’t hatefully rooted, they still are just as adversely life altering, if not potentially deadly.

You’re more than welcome to disagree, try to be a lil more clever than being a bully or making a death threat, though.

So… if you do disagree, try to do so, similar in the spirit I wrote this blog, as just because something doesn’t have an adverse effect on you/me, doesn’t mean it doesn’t have potential horrific consequences for another by using logic and reason, not unproven conspiracy theories.

Also note: I am not making fun of those who rely on faith or are deeply religious. I wouldn’t ever do that even if I WAS NOT an ordained minister, which I actually am.

I guess the best way I can defend being an actual medical activist and believer in science is a hypothetical situation:

Your place of worship or your home is on fire, you don’t assume it’s an act of God, that the fire isn’t real and/or a threat and you don’t just count on prayer for the fire to go out.

I’d hope in that instance, you would actually also call the fire department and/or 911 and/or emergency services in your country of residence!!! (has video links for cpr and other emergency first aid)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I am I trained in public safety.

IF you or someone you love is in crisis, possibly in danger of hurting yourself or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.


However, this blog is meant to provide valuable resources that can help others possibly save their life or another’s by providing resources for prevention.

As well as aid in recognizing possible medical and/or mental health crises by buying precious time until emergency help arrives with resources that can help others safely evaluate and treat by educating them on skills to do that.

This year has been brutal for so many, I realize that the best sometimes someone might only be capable of, is not to commit either unintentional or intentional harm but may not be in a position to help others, either.

I have gone in greater detail in other blogs of mine, of emergency first aid resources medically and mentally, the importance of talking talking about life and death issues constructively both before and after the COVID-19 era as a society and with loved ones.

I can only hope that this blog helps those who need it, as well as the acknowledgement for those who are suffering, others do care and they aren’t alone.

My thoughts and hopes of a safe and happy holiday season for those who have that as an option.

And for those where this holiday season isn’t going to be a happy one, I hope for a time of healing and hope that circumstances get better for you and I’m so sorry for your loss, whether it’s a livelihood, other adverse life circumstances and/or a loved one.

Peace ❤

Important Disclaimers: I am not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional nor do I have any training in public safety.

My normal disclaimers are, if you or someone you know is in danger of hurting oneself or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

As it applies to this blog and as someone who’s taken issue with Bill Maher’s fat bigotry in other blogs, while I don’t think anything I say will make it on his radar, I should disclose in addition to not being a clinically trained professional, if somehow this blog would reach him somehow, I’m sure he’d have a field day of pointing out my flaws as a poor, fat, ugly and old disabled writer.

Which I give ZERO fucks about what anyone thinks of me, truthfully about anyone who fat or appearance shames anyone or myself, as it says more about a bully than who they choose to pick on.

But, given the one thing we have in common as far a concerns of violence increasing after the election, a hope for a country that can learn how to agree to disagree with no more violence and the hypocrisy shown on both sides as it applies to law breaking, maybe he or others of like mind, can give me a pass on my syntax and my not being aesthetically pleasing , as again just trying to save lives, prevent unnecessary totally preventable human physical and emotional trauma and tremendous burdens on essential resources on here when I can, so I can’t really be bothered if you don’t like what I look like.

Even though I guess I could try harder to limit paragraphs to no more than 100 sentences.


I needed a break early this morning as I’ve been working on a blog for weeks and while when still trying work on it earlier this morning, decided to go on You Tube, for a break, where when seeing seeing suggested videos, topics that I have been working on, ended up being addressed on Bill Maher’s show late last night.

Should one choose to view the the clip, I’m going to work backwards in addressing what I agree with him and the one thing he said that was so horribly not funny on a topic that for years couldn’t be funny given how violent society has become.

Lastly, (again I’m working backwards as topics were addressed) should we as a country try to find a way to agree to disagree, peacefully?

Of course, absolutely.

I keep saying that as an activist blogger, why isn’t anyone listening to me????

Oh, maybe due to that pesky fact I’m a recluse who looks like the love child of Bride of Chucky and Jabba the Hutt and nor do I have a t.v. show on HBO.

Keeping going…. Is there a ton of hypocrisy in life and death matters, as well as crime as it applies to people who lean politically on the left?

As well on the right?

Yep, Bill be right again.

Which, sadly if there’s any kind of shared personal traits that are inherently bad and hypocritical , that is of both liberals and conservatives being so quick to call out criminal behavior of the other party and not owning when one party is so quick to embrace criminal behavior of their own peers, which Bill called out perfectly.

However, his opening lines to this segment were HORRIBLE.

New Rule: Bill Maher is probably not a good person to do any kind of activism when it comes to brining people together given how dismissive he is of certain populations of people.

Trying to make a joke of opposites sides uniting by using hating one’s family when there’s been such an increase in domestic murder and suicides which are always tragic but in a lot of instances in the last week alone, there has been several domestic murder/suicides, as well as the many years I’ve been blogging about domestic murder/suicides they’ve involved tragically, the murdering of children by a parent or guardian.

I don’t believe in cancel culture, when it comes to shock comedians and I don’t think Bill Maher as hurtful as he can be, should be censored, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be criticized.

Such as when he’s been in the past with his fat bigotry to quote James Corden, I just think “instead of worrying about what others put in their mouth, he should be more careful on what comes out of his mouth” is all I’m trying to say.

It’s just too bad that he had to somehow fuck up a plea for peace at the expense that had to involve joking about something that leads to domestic violence which he wasn’t per se advocating domestic violence, but that’s usually the outcome in many cases when families hate on each other and that has just increased and intensified in 2020 between the election and the pandemic.

Perhaps, he’d be better served as well as his audiences, if he picked up a paper once in awhile , instead of just rolling them.

Important Note: Again, as horrified as I was about his initial comments, I still was able to admit where he and I do agree and that is about our country needing to learn how to respectfully disagree without death threats, assaults, actual death and damage to property.

So, any kind of death comments directed to me will be reported and any hateful comments about Bill Maher will be NOT tolerated on here, either .

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical, mental health or in matters of public safety.

The reason for this blog though, unfortunately kind of negates or at least should hopefully create a civil discussion, where I usually add for those in medical or mental health crisis need to seek acute care, immediately but depending on circumstances stated in this blog of why this discussion needs to take place, NOW on alternative treatment ideas in circumstances discussed in this blog ONLY.


I’m grieving as an activist who wishes more than anything that people could concentrate on what unites us as humans versus what divides us.

I’m heartbroken that people for the most part, can’t agree to respectfully disagree anymore as daily events highlight tragically highlight how violent disagreements of opinion and beliefs of have escalated.

And that rights that should be fundamental to all, a right to a safe and peaceful life should extend to all human beings regardless of race, religion, profession, political beliefs, gender and sexual identification, appearance and body size regardless of how much or how little space people take up are ceasing to matter to so many.

The general election alone, because of all that, would’ve made of 2020 a terrifying year given how we divided we are not just as a nation but that division causing so much violence and loss of life.

Then add COVID-19.

I don’t necessarily believe in the meme I used for this blog.

Meaning, I don’t believe in Karma.

Too many bad things, if not catastrophic, traumatic, life threatening and life ending events happen to good people of all ages, everyday whether it’s intentional or not.

And there are others who do horrible things and never have consequences for them, ever.

The majority of the blogs that I’ve written lately in the last several years about people’s right to a safe and peaceful life.

That someone’s personal liberties shouldn’t effect that right to another’s safe and peaceful life.

In my case as it applies to novel coronavirus, I wear masks and social distance the little I get out.

I have asthma, as well as a host of other medical health issues so the amount I get out it limited, as wearing a mask makes me dizzy.

I’m not about as controversial as I’m about to get as what I’m about I’m going to state, looking to argue on here with anyone.

I do believe though at this point for how divided people are and it’s possible if not probable of some who are quite hatefully in their division are about to hate me, as well as what I have to say for those who are anti-mask, anti social distancing and that’s if one believes that novel coronavirus exists and has and will continue to kill people, if not ruin their lives should they survive.

IF people feel that strongly that COVID-19 is either a hoax or taking precautions infringes on their personal liberties, I don’t think anything I say or anyone else will change one’s mind.

I DO though believe if you feel that strongly and live your life according to those beliefs that you should do so with other like minded people in private places like homes and places of worship.

AND, I also believe you should have an advance health directive with a DNR and DNI should you get novel coronavirus get very sick and if you can’t rethink your right to believe and act without taking precautions to not be a threat to another’s life.

So that will help innocent others, if you in fact find that you might have been wrong in thinking novel coronavirus was a hoax and that precautions in public and the limitations on people congregating in private places and places of worship if one felt their civil liberties were infringed on were really not to infringe on any one.

And it’s one thing to bet one’s life on your own belief but in this case, the risk applies to innocent others when it comes to a deadly for many, airborne contagion.

I’ve had an advance health directive for over 2 years. One can find out more information about their particular state’s requirements for it by using a search engine.

Because my AHD does have a DNR/DNI request with only comfort cares but was written 2 years ago, which in my case if I’d get COVID I would just quarantine and die at home, as I’m immunocompromised and I don’t think I’d survive it.

And I’ve had the tough conversation with loved ones about AHD and the fact when I wrote, in my case when the time comes I had already planned on dying alone.

Others circumstances, that’s if others are actually still reading this, well you’ll have to think should you be wrong, of how you want novel coronavirus life and death wishes executed, thoughtfully with your
loved ones feelings in mind and whether or not you have the right to risk as well as further burden healthcare systems should you get sick enough to need to seek medical attention, let alone be hospitalized for it.

And while advanced health directives are for adults to decide when it comes to medical and death planning, as it applies to COVID-19 should you choose to do an AHD, NOBODY has that right to make that decision for vulnerable people who might be exposed and/or children on whether they should seek medical care for them, which should be done immediately whether it’s novel coronavirus related or anything health issue that jeopardizes one’s health .

I’m not being harsh or a hater of those who I can’t understand how they can’t accept how dangerous novel coronavirus is, or if they do but irrationally think they won’t get it, of if they’ll get it but it won’t be life threatening or they’ll get it and think at the time that they are ready to die, but if they get it but change their mind when they actually are potentially dying from novel coronavirus thinking that they deserve medical treatment.

I’m just hoping people will carefully think about what I’m saying realizing that I as a medical activist but non medical professional took an oath to do no harm.

HOWEVER, I needed to stay what I’ve stated in this blog because I think and am heartbroken about people who did take COVID-19 seriously and took precautions to protect themelves and others, like physicians and first responders who did die from novel coronavirus or got really sick from it.

As well novel coronavius just doesn’t have consequences due to lack of preventative measures on them the patients themselves, it has the ability to potentially jeopardize the well being if not lives of those who do everything they can to protect the well being of not just people’s loved ones but the general public at large.

I’m also devastated thinking about the impact of the delay in diagnosis of other potentially fatal diseases in people where novel coronavirus could potentially kill someone who’s thought to not be in a high risk group, as well as the continued great need that there’s a delay in being diagnosed or getting treatment for medical and mental health care, once the virus is contained, of what will happen to further to health care systems, their employees and patients for those who survive and the human beings who won’t be able to thrive let alone who won’t survive, with so many resources and people will be taxed inconceivably, irrevocably and harmfully for many years to come.

So, hopefully this can be discussed with input regardless of people’s beliefs that concentrate on the fact that we all have a right to a safe, healthy and peaceful life and people need to believe and behave in a manner that their personal civil liberties cannot and should not have uncivil horrific consequences for any other.

Note: It’s okay to disagree with me or another. It’s NEVER okay to harass or bully myself or another and because I’ve received death threats on other controversial blogs of mine, know that they will be reported to the proper authorities .

And just something to ponder for those who hatefully harm both on and off the internet, while it’s NEVER the right thing to do, just think of the person you harmed actually had a skillset to not only improve or better your life when it comes to another topic, if not had the skills to save your life or someone you love.


IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS: IF you or someone you know is in medical and/or mental health crisis and could be a threat to themselves or others, please contact emergency services in your area of residence, immediately.

If topics such as trauma, suicide and violent crime are a trigger for anyone reading this, please don’t read the whole thing.

As the above title might suggest but what would be incorrect, is that I’m NOT in any kind of mental health crisis.

I’m not thriving, though.

I never started this blog thinking that I could save the whole world, let alone one person.

I figured it was worth trying to help others not go through some of the same things I’ve gone through and if that could help, at least what I went through and so unintentionally put through those I love the most, wouldn’t have been in vain.

I knew and have been feeling since, a sense if dread that 2020 would be almost apocalyptic in its toll in human lives physically and mentally, since late last year.

I’m NOT psychic though and I couldn’t, let alone anyone else could have forecasted though what exactly would make this year so emotionally and physically devasting and so consequential.

Because exactly what that is varies so greatly between us.

I have about 2 traits personally that has made me be able to survive things with a shred of dignity left and that is that I don’t get jealous of anyone and I have no predisposition to be violent.

That doesn’t mean I’m not angry at times with others or myself because I am.

I just don’t get to the point that I hate. And hate and hate and hate…

And that’s where I see our society is, a new normal that’s only getting worse.

People hate those who look, act, think and/or believe different from them.

If personally I thought my thoughts were just skewered due to my mental and cognitive disabilities, I’d keep quiet.

I can’t though, I took a vow as an activist to do no harm.

And part of that contains a duty to warn of what one thinks that presently or in the future can harm others.

Or a bad history that will repeat itself over and over again causing more preventable death and grave emotional harm to countless innocent others.

The problem though with above sentence is the words “preventable” and “innocent” because while they should be objective in theory, they aren’t any longer.

Cause everything is subjective nowadays and that’s NOT good for anyone.

Everyone has at a time, if not constantly a defective way of thinking, feeling and/or behaving  that could cause unnecessary potential horrific harm, even if it’s unintentional.

But dead is still dead, even if it’s unintentional, hurt is still hurt.

So think about who you identify as heroes.

Think about who and what you hate and why you hate them/it.

And think of the harm that could cause someone you love, if we can’t get it together to fight a good fight to help save and enrich each one and others lives regardless of our differences in race, religion, politics, profession, socio-economics, gender/sexual identification and age as we all really need to believe that everyone has a right to a safe and peaceful life.

Good things cannot usually flourish, let alone survive hostile environments.

I can only hope I’m SO WRONG in my thinking , as it applies to seeing what looks like to me, a society that can’t stop hating on one another that it applies to human harm in unnecessary hostile environments.



Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional.

I’ll always recommend that those in medical and/or mental health crisis due to bariatric surgical complications get evaluation and treatment from clinically trained professionals.

I do though have as a non clinically trained professional, some more pro-active reach and skills to help those who are in crisis given my own experiences with my gastric bypass complications, my need for a gastric bypass reversal, the intense and comprehensive study of patients and treatments provided for bariatric surgical complications, which I have been doing for almost a decade, now.

That DOES allow me some leeway with both accomplished credibility and multiple necessary skillsets  in helping  bariatric surgical complications patients when they are in need and I do this on a global scale.

I CANNOT stress this enough that I am NOT against ANY of the weight loss surgeries that are performed and I do remain in the weight loss surgery communities also, as a long term ally.

HOWEVER, the reasons and the immediate need  this blog be written right now, will be abundantly clear because even the best intentioned kindest people in the weight loss surgery community DO need direction and oversight on how to best support their peers who had bad outcomes from their weight loss surgeries.


The reason why is somehow in the past week, both on social media and off of it, when the topic of gastric bypass reversals coming up not originally directed at me, while well intentioned by some members of the weight loss surgery community to help, some peers offered advice that could be detrimental, if NOT deadly to a bariatric patient of ANY of the weight loss surgeries who need a takedown of them and/or a serious intervention of another kind.

Because I’ve been doing this for so long and I understand for a lot of people, people have weight loss surgery in hopes they will be better off for it.

And a lot of patients ARE actually better off from the various weight loss surgeries that are performed.

The problem is, NOT all of us are.

And in times where reversals and takedowns of bariatric surgeries come up, they are life and death situations.

This is what I usually observe other weight loss surgery peers say when a reversal comes up:

# 1 “Oh NO, don’t do it, I know someone who did it and they became fat AGAIN!!!”.

#2 “Oh NO don’t do it, I know someone who did it and they still were super sick after it !!!”

#3 “Oh NO don’t do it, and I can’t even imagine how non compliant you were, to be at risk of losing your bariatric surgery!!! You apparently have NO IDEA  know how many people wish they could have bariatric surgery and can’t!!!”

#4 “Oh NO I’m sorry this happened to you, but I am glad I had surgery and that it went so good for me and about 500 of my closest wls peeps!!!”

There is ONE reason and ONLY one reason that when I see crap like above being spewed that I don’t go screaming into the night vowing to be off the internet ETERNALLY and become a recluse living in the middle of nowhere.

People WILL ACTUALLY DIE, if I’d do that.

Specifically, bariatric patients in crisis who would NOT be able to personally contact me any longer looking for guidance and support.

I could teach those in the weight loss community and I am willing to do that, when people ask me how to help their fellow peers in bariatric surgically created  crisis.

AND  I cannot overstate, that I do understand, a patient who’s had a good experience with weight loss surgery may be supporting their peers in a helpful way and not need or may be too busy to learn how to comprehensively and constructively help their peers who are in crisis and that’s okay.

This is the ONLY thing you need to know to help those patients, it’s super easy.

The answer is saying the following:

“I’m sorry you’re going through this, I can try to help you find peers who have had bariatric surgical complications and/or reversal of their particular weight loss surgery.”

Or you could just suggest they use a search engine and putting in there “bariatric surgery complications” and/or internet searching for surgical specific such as gastric bypass, DS/duodenal switch and adjustable gastric banding reversal and/or take downs.

Your desire to positively help our fellow wls  peers in crisis with care and consideration is in need and appreciated!!!

And no, it doesn’t take away from your right to be happy, if you had a better, if not ideal outcome post bariatric surgery.

Just realize that all our journeys post bariatric surgery are worth of support and kindness.

Thank You!!!


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