It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Important Disclaimers: I believe the video starts an important dialogue that we need to be having and I’ve tried to also state in other blogs about school massacres, other massacres and murder/suicides.

I’ll always encourage people who are in medical and/or mental crisis, and/or if you suspect someone else and is capable of hurting themselves or others, please seek acute clinical professional help and/or contact 911 (and/or EMS for your country if your outside the United States) immediately.

The man in this video is brave.

He starts an important conversation that I’ve tried to initiate dialogue for,  but am not so brave to leave my house to do so, nor as I am as concise.

He shares concerns that I have stated since I’ve launched this blog, that gun control is necessary, as well as open and honest constructive dialogue is necessary to try and  help prevent all these senseless school shootings, but brings up concerns wisely, that gun control is NOT enough.

Again, I believe in gun reform.

I don’t believe that ANY citizen should have an assault rifle.

But lifelong constant societal, familial and peer rejection in some people can lead to predatory and horrific massacres.

It doesn’t mean that all people who’ve experienced massive rejection would ever be capable of hurting another person, let alone killing them.

And Aaron Stark talks about that, too.

Because when we start the labeling people without asking questions, a reclusive loner who’s been subjected to lifelong bullying and has limited support, not all of them are going to ever be capable of causing any kind of harm (i.e. me and many others) to others and have never ever thought about hurting another.

And society just can’t start locking people up, in thinking because they possess certain anti-social appearing traits, that they are at risk for something I/they would  NEVER be capable of doing.

I don’t think it’s his intention, but I want to make this clear, as I do think the video can be life saving, some people probably can not be “loved” or shown caring enough to prevent them, from doing something that could cause harm, if not fatalities in many others.

In the end, it’s the person who kills people, who’s responsible for them being a mass murderer,  as there is never a good enough defense to justify their horrific behavior, as it’s not brave to ambush innocent people, EVER. It’s horrifically cowardly and it should never be thought,  otherwise.

But it can give hope, as shown in the  conversation in this video,  that is possible that some of  these tragedies can be prevented, regardless of weapon choice in a potential mass murderer and/or serial killer.

By asking someone without stigma,  hopefully to save lives, of what helped him when in crisis, to not to kill himself, let alone other people, even though he had considered both at one time, can hopefully lead into constructive initiatives and support systems for those in crisis, BEFORE they horrifically kill others.

 

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Disclaimer: This profanity laced blog is to be silly and/or slightly entertaining. Although I’m kind of befuddled on why when using Google’s search engine to find out how far it is from Dubai to Amsterdam, I’d get the option for directions on how to WALK there, I’d seriously strongly advise AGAINST , that this is not a cross-continental walking trek ANYONE should be making, let alone, ME.

That’s if one can even legally do that of any sort, which I doubt, whether they are an American or NOT.

I’ve been in serious activist mode, too long, so when finding that my You Tube account wasn’t working, late tonight,  I thought I’d read the news articles suggested for me in Google, even though they are usually not as wisely suggested, as videos.

While I didn’t find it anymore comforting about human nature reading an article about a Carnival Cruise that had to make a detour to get rid of a family of 23 people who were unruly on a cruise, when I read an article about an international flight that had to make an emergency stop, I decided, as pictured above, just out of curiosity,  to use Google to find out how far Dubai was from Amsterdam, which was the flight route.

In fairness to Google, I do end up having to use their search engine to look up some pretty diverse things, as an activist, and as a disabled activist, to fact check or better research some of the topics I blog about.

Other than planning and booking my trip to Vegas in late September of 2015, I haven’t given ONE inkling I’d like to go anywhere outside of where I live, let alone outside of Minnesota, and most definitely NOT any inkling that I’d like to outside of the continent on a walking tour.

I don’t know what makes me more FUCKING mad. That my premium (cause yeah, I pay for You Tube/Google Music, that way I don’t have commercials) isn’t working and that for the first time (as I’ve been curious to find out mileage destinations before, based upon news articles) why the FUCK they would for the first time, give me driving or walking  directions on a dangerous not recommended for any HUMAN being walking tour given distances and destinations, but especially, Especially, FUCKING ESPECIALLY for someone they know without a doubt, is a disabled activist and knows I don’t fucking drive, given my looking up public transit routes and having that site, bookmarked on FUCKING Google.

I didn’t take pictures of the directions of the exact FUCKING 3,820 mile cross continental trek, because when quickly scrolling for fucking over 30 minutes, it didn’t even take me out of Dubai, and while I can’t speak Hebrew anymore, I can read it, but I don’t know any Arabic, let alone the 15+ FUCKING languages that it would probably take to do something FUCKING ridiculously dangerously stupid and so unlikely by anyone.

And if I’m to be honest, I do find it kinda bizarrely hilarious and horrifying, at the same time.

So NO, I really don’t believe Google is trying to kill me.

Unless it’s unintentionally trying to aggravate  me to death, by no access to You Tube and a non fun detailed dangerous not recommended walking tour that NO ONE would ever try to do.

But hopefully, this worked being funny or as a sedative, if you’re having trouble sleeping like I am… Of if you ever had an intellectual curiosity, which I fucking NEVER HAVE HAD, an inkling of what it takes to walk from Dubai to Amsterdam, well then, you’re welcome.

Sheesh……..

p.s. Also note,  to add insult to injury I AM a fucking local 5 guide for Google. Where approximately  95% of my reviews of places are within a 1 mile radius of where I live and ALL of them are within a 15 mile radius, where I live, because they know exactly where I live, from being a guide and a paying customer.

p.s.s. For those who follow me on social media, I’m not planning on being on Facebook or Twitter for awhile, my blog though auto-posts to both. I’m not even walking within locally in Downtown Minneapolis much, so if I take a badly needed break also from blogging, I’m not using my Fitbit Zip, much, either.

And while right now, giving up the internet, sounds appealing, it’s highly unlikely, so if you want to get ahold of me, email me. Thanks.

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This above meme tragically doesn’t mean anything in relation to what I’m writing.

Because it wasn’t a local man who was 72 years old, and decided to drive drunk last night, who lost his car or his license.

He nearly lost his life and is in critical condition at a local hospital.

Horrifically though, he  killed a 30 year old female Minneapolis 911 operator who died tragically in that accident last night, on her way to work.

I’m heartbroken for the family, friends and co-workers of this amazing young woman.

I’m heartbroken as a citizen of Downtown  Minneapolis, who reveres all of our first responders, and feels safer because of them, whether they be 911 operators, police officers, fire department and our local HCMC EMS staff who are headquartered 2-4 blocks away from where I live.

I’m not saying the following, which I’ve said before, and after my last blog, the last thing I really wanted to be doing is writing another serious blog, given my disability sets and feeling so helpless about such tragic awful loss of life, in the last 2 weeks.

But in hopes that another person will NOT make the same mistake as that 72 year old man who drove impaired, last night, I will try.

As I thank our first responders, in person, everytime I see them, since moving to Downtown Minneapolis. I’ve thanked when I’ve had to call 911.

I’ve tried to thank them in past blogs and failed to do so because of my disability sets of not being concise, when trying to show being beyond grateful for their service, it was beyond readable.

I remember one instance, when calling 911, on July 4th in 2016, due to the PTSD triggers that I have, I thought because of being anxiety prone and having major panic attacks, due to fireworks that are set off in my neighborhood (I’m talking about people setting off fireworks not the professional display that occurs a mile away) , the year before, because it’s hard to distinguish I was so on edge, the next year, that I mistakenly thought there was a fire, across the street.

It wasn’t a delusion, it was a mistake on how light fell on a windy day, from where I could see, in my apartment window, in the parking lot across the street,  from being anxiety prone and when the 911 operator called me back, I realized what happened , that there was no fire and she made me feel better, because I felt awful, wasting resources when there wasn’t a true emergency, which I would any day, but especially on a day like Independence Day that’s super busy for first responders.

She kindly and patiently said, “we’d rather given the circumstances operate on a false alarm than not to not have the ability to help”, if there was a true emergency but it went unreported and it wasn’t so far fetched, and that I should feel good about caring about other’s people safety, as well as acknowledging and not minimizing my severe anxiety as it’s hard to tell when you can hear neighbors setting off loud fireworks, but cannot see them, if that’s what’s occuring or if it’s gunfire.

As such as in my case, where I didn’t feel safe enough, rational or not, to go outside and check.

So I’m writing this. I’m hoping that anyone doesn’t think that their actions, whether they get behind the wheel, drunk, looking at a text, looking at social media, being mad about something and driving recklessly, doesn’t have the potential to kill an innocent person.

BECAUSE IT DOES KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE.

And in this case, locally, we are mourning that we are NOW short one life saving hero, who didn’t have to die on her way to work, which she was an amazing first responder, because someone got behind the wheel when they had NO right to do that.

So hopefully anyone will think twice, before getting beyond the wheel impaired, for ANY reason, so this doesn’t happen again.

I’m so sorry for the loss of this lovely young heroic woman, for her, for her  family and friends, co-workers and the City of Minneapolis.

Editorial Note: I updated this blog, 3 hours, after I originally published, because at the time, that I heard more details about this tragedy, while the identity of the 911 operator had been released, I hadn’t seen any of the details released about  the identity of the drunk driver, who was a retired pastor.

I feel just as strong in my sentiment that people should not drive impaired, it shows that even people who do such good in the world, make horrific mistakes in judgement, that can tragically end a life of not just themselves, but an innocent other.

I’m trying to be as respectful as possible, given all the circumstances, in hopes that this doesn’t ever happen again. Or that it would possibly save one life, but I couldn’t ever do the greater good that both the 911 operator did in her life, as well as sadly from what is being reported about the retired pastor and felt I needed to be sensitive, as I could, given this particular local devastating tragedy.

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Warnings/Disclaimers: While this a blog is more personal, than to achieve any type of activism goal, as a medical/mental health activist blogger, I will ALWAYS, if it’s relevant, implore,, if someone themselves or another, suspects or is  in crisis, them to seek clinically/professional trained assistance in medical/mental health facilities or by calling emergency services/911. Blog is slightly on the ranty side of a mission statement for greater good and is almost 2000 words and I’m showing if nothing else, I’m a horribly incompatible in the Twitter age.

My very first blog on here, is similarly titled to this blog.

If someone would tell me in 2008, where it was very unlikely due to my own medical and mental health crises that I’d survive them, let alone have anything more to fear, once that happened, well I’d think that’s INSANE.

However…. NO ONE would have to go through the same crises which are so unusual for a person like me (OK, ANYONE) , who was a productive member of society, had a bizarre combination of privilege, challenges and adversity, to say that life is way different than we could’ve ever imagined, of how people relate to one another, on a daily basis.

I get that as far as I’m concerned, that I’m not living any more of a life that’s of absence of abnormal, but there’s nothing abhorrent about it, as unintentional as it was, 10 years ago.

And because in my very private very reclusive life, where not only do I still metaphorically “wear my heart on my sleeve”, I do the same with my disabilities.

I don’t feel the need tomake things or myself “pretty” when I don’t feel that way.

I know the difference even with disabilities that being bluntly honest, in situations that I have to, as an activist, and as someone who people email me when they’re in medical and mental health crisis and I have something to offer in helping them get through that, that things don’t need to be either pretty, new and/or  shiny, to make a difference.

What’s needed to make a difference is to have EMPATHY.

An understanding and/or desire to try and see other people’s differences in their beings and opinions and as long as they aren’t hurtful or harming, try to understand them, better, even if you don’t believe in the same ideology.

That people need to destigmatize mental health issues and create initiatives so that people don’t continue to hurt and harm themselves, if not others, not knowing how to deal with feelings of rejection and rage, and not being taught how to process it, in the best interest for everyone’s best chance of continuing to having a life that can be somewhat positively balanced and is best to each individuals potential.

That above paragraph, wasn’t or just isn’t a bunch of words. And it can’t happen right now in our society, that’s so divided, distracted and only has empathy for ONLY things or people that they care about having a positive outcome.

That to me is CRAZY. And for someone like me, who did a “residency” in Mental Health without ever taking an MCAT, even  knows that.

Other people who I know who are mentally ill and also could never be violent, who’s mental health issues have origins in genetic, environmental/circumstantial  (i.e. lifelong bullying and/or abuse and/or violence) may not be able to identify why they aren’t violent, they just aren’t,  but also aren’t aware of their barriers that prevent them from participating in society fully.

Just like people who are potentially, currently or eventually psychological and physical health and life hazards, who don’t know that, may be the epitome of physical, personal and professional success on Insta,  but either are sociopaths and or could snap and there’s more people like that, than most people would like to think.

While I don’t like feeling “scared and aware” all the time, as it applies to me, I’ve lived my life, maybe there’s hope to change my legacy from what it is, where I’m a reclusive activist who helps people when I can and doesn’t bother people, when I can’t.

But what it is becoming UNBEARABLE and so unacceptable to me, is that the masses are too divided and so set on being more right than respectful, when trying to come together so that kids don’t get killed from going to school, people don’t have to worry about dying, when a co-worker gets fired and no one has to worry about losing their life and/or those of they love the most, when going though a breakup or a divorce.

In all this tragedy of late, I’m trying to find the good in people and the good people. It shouldn’t be that kids who had to survive a horrific massacre, their families and community are trying to come together, are showing our resilience in the wake of deadly tragedy, but sadly nothing will get done, because we are in insane position, that and I’m choosing my words, VERY carefully, that compromise can’t be found within the NRA, Congress and our President, it’s just easier for most of the masses to agree that “mentally ill” people shouldn’t have a gun, not realizing that most, if not ALL people, have some traits or form of mental illness or mental health distress, it’s impossible not to, in the digital age.

But that no civilian needs or should feel entitled to a semi or automatic weapon whether or not they’ve been diagnosed, because even with a horrifying shooting that involved  a Republican congressman getting shot last year, their gun positions are probably not going to change, even with an 18th school shooting that tragically killed 17 people.

The ONLY way to rightfully make positive necessary lifesaving change is to VOTE for it.

I can only say what I feel, with intent to do greater good and put that out there, as a reclusive activist/blogger.

I can say that as many regrets that I daily live with and have shared openly and honestly, that as much as I wish I could’ve been the best mother to raise my children to adulthood, to be a financially stable single mother who should’ve been a successful small business owner, that I’m not completely ashamed of my life, as ugly as it is or looks sometimes.

Because as crazy as that sounds, and as sorry as I am, for things, I’m not sorry that I played things to the best of my ability. That I used my personal and humiliating failures, hopefully (and actually, as I have saved people’s lives which I’m loathing to have to repeat as it sounds self serving) for a greater good. That I don’t covet something that I didn’t rightfully earn. But that I believe that certain things like housing, should be affordable, for people and that all people have food to eat and aren’t homeless and should have health insurance, should be like a human right.

That while I could never be a moral compass for anyone, I’m not a lying cheating hypocrite, either.

I’m not an angel though, either. That I can defend myself with words, sometimes strong and sometimes intentional to be hurtful, when people don’t have my best interest at heart or those of others, who don’t have a voice.

And  I’m painfully aware of my flaws and barriers.

But I know how to show gratitude, I can give a compliment and I know and give an earnest heartfelt apology, when it’s due, too.

I know this is getting to be  a way wordy blog. And unfortunately for me, someone who does NOT want to lose privacy, so I don’t strive for a large social media following, nor would I want to have a lot of influence.

But I can say this, and I know this was wordy, but asking yourself the below, is one of the major points of this blog, so think about this and ask yourself it, if nothing else:

1. Are you personally a better person when no one is looking, than you were 10 years ago?

2. Do you feel inherently safer or less safe with people of all socio-economics now, than you did 10 years ago?

Whether they be strangers, family or friends?

3. Do you know and is it congruent, with others thoughts of oneself, of knowing your strengths and your weaknesses and feeling like you can share both in equal measure, in circumstances that are appropriate?

Lastly, what I’m about to say is without malice but is imperative to this blog and my intent.

To me what’s crazy, horrifying and heartbreaking, is not just potential serial killers and people who want to commit massacres in schools, it’s about the impulse control and the inability to have empathy, gratitude or the ability to apologize of ONE  individual that currently has residences in NYC, D.C and Florida.

While I TOTALLY understand him, on not like warm Diet Coke, that urks me, too and he’s not to blame for EVERYTHING that’s wrong or bad in society, he’s shown who he is for and that his himself, ONLY, by any means necessary.

The consequences of his utter failures of a human being, let alone a world leader, when he’s a walking and golfing DSM V with legs in a suit,  now, to me the most crazy thing of all. EVER….

So people may want to mull  that over while fighting about taking the rights of gun ownership, to start,  from a population of people who may not want to ever own one, who would never hurt another person, where people could use more caution on how they label, limit and libel a group of people  and maybe people should be asking how a person who’s a barf inducing at a a bare minimum, buffet of depravity, ran a political campaign, motivated by revenge, got elected to begin with, and still remains in position of power to due so much more harm isn’t getting impeached, let alone has NEVER had to learn the hard way or by consequences of their own wrong doing, EVER.

If anyone would’ve told me 10 years ago that this would be possible, this is just beyond crazy, this is abhorrently abnormal and insanity.

This is sadly though, what CRAZY really looks like……

Other than the fact that I’m thinking of actually running for President, now.

Like being the first really unattractive heavyset Jewish openly medically, cognitively and mentally disabled female candidate to run for President, cause like I’m kinda of in the mindset, go big or stay home where I can be my reclusive self and I’m not sure yet, but I’m giving it consideration, and while that may sounds crazy, it isn’t anywhere near total craziness and the constitutional and conscience crisis we’re all in now…

But I’ll discuss that in my next blog!!!!

Seriously, I’m actually thinking of doing that, I figure my disabilities can be accommodated in a lot of “executive time”.

Note: I will not publish anything that’s not constructive. I was clear when I was stating an opinion and clear when I was stating a fact. If one can’t have a stance to “agree to respectfully disagree”, then you’re not welcome here.

As while I’d like our country to be run  like an inclusive democracy and while  my blog is not a dictatorship, I’m way okay with the few rules I have for those who read and respond back to me, in my own personal internet spaces, like my blog.

However, some of the people I love, respect and adore the most, voted and still support “45”, was not my intention to be hurtful to them but I’m also not sorry for what I said in this blog, either.

Hopefully we can “respectfully agree to disagree” and be apathetic versus hateful on what divides us if we can’t find common ground … Thanks!!!!

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Disclaimers: I’m very sensitive, as well as heartbroken, for the tragic loss of lives that occurred this week, 2 of them I’ve blogged about in the last week,  alone.

I’m NOT a clinically trained medical, mental health, law enforcement or public safety.
I will always implore people, if they or someone they know, is or suspects to be in crisis, is potentially a danger to themselves or others,  to contact 911 and/or seek appropriate  emergency treatment from clinically trained professionals in an appropriate acute facility.

I know there’s a lot of people who DO NOT want to hear this today.

I don’t want to have to say this, today, but it’s important in the conversations that need to be discussed on reducing the horrifying rates that people, innocent children and adults are being killed  in their homes, their schools and their workplaces.

As well as in their places of worship, hospitals and on the street.

In my blog late last week, I blogged about a mother, who when suffering postpartum psychosis, shot her 3 month baby, her husband and then herself, to death.

That St. Louis mother, was a well respected woman in her community. She volunteered with disadvantaged  people in need. She participated in her church and had a Masters in Social Work, where for reasons that may never be known, of why she horrifyingly  killed her baby, husband and herself with a gun she obtained legally, other than postpartum depression was used in an article, but there’s a difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis but neither should be stigmatized.

The other blog, was the one I wrote yesterday was  about a vile young man, who laid in wait, when filled with irrational deadly rage, attempted to execute as many innocent people as possible, in the horrifying high school mass shooting that happened in Parkland, Florida, yesterday .

I’m not trying to add more devastation and sadness, I like most people,  whether they have mental health diagnoses or not, cannot and will not  EVER  understand, how people can hurt another person with any kind of violence, let alone kill someone.

But I do have mental health issues. Mid late in life diagnosed non aggressive/non violent mental health issues (I can be mean at times, with words, when provoked, but on the defense and I don’t engage in every argument that I’m invited to, either).

I’ve been honest since my first blog on here, on how in both medical and mental health  crisis, I did try to get help, when I could see that I was heartbreakingly, humiliating and so unintentionally subjecting my children due to neglect and the price my children, family and I paid, as a result, of getting no where when trying to access safety nets that are supposed to prevent things that happened to my family, from happening.

I talk about it, so what my children, who are doing great while not because of me, but not despite me, either, so that it doesn’t happen to other families who fell through the cracks, like we did, as I love my children more than anything and anyone, and I wish every day for the last decade I could change what happened, but I can’t.

And it has saved other people’s lives by going public with my medical and mental health issues.

I’m NOT saying that to be self serving.

I get that the abnormality of my life, in not having responsibilities like most people my age, is shocking, what led to that is shocking, but I have tried, so  that we didn’t go through all of that in vain, for those who’ve experienced similar medical and mental health crises, falling through the cracks that are in the system, and with no social support.

The danger though that I fear, is when people, who are so shocked and saddened by such a horrifying tragedy that leads to multiple deaths due to shootings, in a home or a school DO NOT take the time to differentiate the difference between those with diagnosed mental heath conditions that would make them NO MORE LIKELY OR AT RISK to commit any kind of acts of violence, let alone depraved, cowardly, hateful and horrific premeditated mass murders or any kind of depraved inhumane acts of violence.

As much inroads that have been made, to try to destigmatize mental illness, it can be lost in the wake of these horrifying tragedies, but not knowing the difference, can also lead to loss of life and loss of freedom, in people who could and would NEVER ever commit any kind of crime, let alone an act  of violence.

I’m 48 years old. I’ve never seen a gun up close nor touched one. I would never own one. I believe strongly in gun reform initiatives, NOW.

I just believe that an honest and open dialogue about de-stigmatizing mental health, while it wouldn’t have made much of a difference as it applied to someone who heinously planned to execute as many people as possible, with an assault rifle, like in the massacre that happened yesterday,  he should’ve NEVER been cleared to get, regardless of backround checks which no civilian needs an assault rifle or other similar firearms in that category , nor was that thought of when our forefathers over  240 years ago, gave the people,  a constitutional right to bear arms.

But it is possible,  that a non judgemental open extensive and inclusive dialogue about mental health, could’ve made a difference, in the mother with postpartum psychosis who cared enough about people at one time, to do the good she did, but she and her family paid the ultimate price in the stigma that surrounds mental health, especially as it applies to mothers, with mental health issues, whether they know they have them or not.

We won’t know, but I don’t think we’ve tried to remove that kind of stigma, hard enough, openly and honestly, in hopes of those in need being able to get help or for others to recognize warning signs to possibly help prevent those kind of tragedies.

I’ve done the best I can, not ever knowing the grief that too many people have now had to bear due to senseless gun violence. It’s something that more people will die, just as senselessly, if action isn’t taken, immediately.

Gun reform, has to happen, NOW.

But it’s disheartening to see, because of the grief and terror these tragedies can cause that we don’t lose sight, that other weapons or items that are utilized other than guns, can be cause of mass casualties in civilians, if we don’t have the important dialogue about mental health and appropriate initiatives in place to monitor, evaluate, treat and prevent if possible, from mass casualties happening, in those who are diagnosed and those who are NOT, without honest open dialogue on mental health and mental illness in respect to guns and gun control, but with any kind of weapon or means that can cause mass fatalities by someone who’s mentally ill AND violent, or those who snap, and has no respect for the sanctity of human life.

At a minimum, BOTH, if not MORE  initiatives have to happen NOW.

This doesn’t have to be an either or situation. You can rightfully and respectfully demand gun control initiatives NOW, but also demand the conversations and initiatives that need to be in place, to monitor, evaluate, treat/rehabilitate and/or prevent these horrific mass casualties from happening over and over again, regardless of weapon of choice.

As well as initiatives that comprehensively support the loved ones who are lost or injured when tragedies like this take place.

Note: I am open to constructive dialogue. I purposely stay away most of the time, from social media, for many reasons, which doesn’t make me any better or any worse than anyone else.

Point I’m trying to make, requiring and/or a respectful dialogue and demand of action, is constructive.

The epic fights that tend to happen almost over everything, but especially in a topic of this importance, doesn’t help anyone. You can maintain a stance of agreeing to respectfully disagree and or show apathy, if you don’t agree with someone’s point of view (that’s rational)  and or just not engage with those of not of like minded as oneself.

Trying to fight horrific violence with vitriolic verbiage in sound bites on multiple social media platforms,  may not lead to violence, but it hampers from people uniting as quickly as we need to be,  to get what needs to be done to prevent these horrific tragedies, even though they aren’t to blame for them, OK?

Just please try to remember the commonality of purpose, which is to save lives, could be done more expediently, without the squabbling if not hateful rhetoric on multiple sides that occurs both on and off social media and due to politics.

And this may not mean much, but as a disabled activist, because I cannot blog about this topic anymore, where it would be constructive, I can get away in some cases with saying things that other people can’t, without consequence.

So for those of you, who while may believe in due process, I’m still glad prematurely, that Florida has the death penalty.

It just makes me sad, that should the killer who I don’t want to name or talk about, after today, should he get that, will possibly die more humanely, than the innocent people he slaughtered, horrifically physically and emotionally harmed yesterday and that makes me a tiny bit sad, and slightly hypocritical, as it applies to his evil waste of life,but I can live with myself, in the respect of my  NOT  having ANY empathy for mass murderers, rapists and pedophiles. I have a lot a of empathy for lots of populations of people, just not those people, but I think their histories bear importance, if there’s any chance in them not being repeated, but only to an extent where it serves the greater good of people.

Please keep comments if you should have any, constructive. Thanks…

And one last thing, I know this was really wordy, but this isn’t something that can be discussed in a sound bite. I happened to not catch others making similar observations like I have, that could help, if you know of those who have, but done so, more concisely, please let me know. Thanks.

Peace….

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Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained professional in medical, mental health, law enforcement and public safety, I’m an activist, and “armchair” one, at that.
IF, anyone you know or suspect is in crisis and is capable of hurting themselves or others, PLEASE contact 911, immediately and/or for my out of the country readers, emergency services, in your country.

And NO, I don’t expect the whole entire world to read what I say. I put things out in the universe in hopes that it helps people and if it does, then, I’ve fufilled my intention and purpose.

I honestly thought that one of my biggest fears was personally, to go viral.

I’m a flawed reclusive activist on a GOOD day.

On a bad day, I’m a quiet multi-complex disabled chick, who spends a lot of time at home, alone.

But now,  my second to  biggest fear, is truthfully people becoming used to massacres, that they become apathetic, because they default to that, because they can’t sustain how scary they are.

My first biggest fear, is NOW that we are going to be nation that has daily massacres and instead of TRYING to come together on solutions that might help prevent these tragedies over and over again, people are going to argue to no frutiful purpose of who’s more right, while more people continue to DIE.

I personally think that to trying to help  prevent these tragedies requires multiple things being discussed without demonization or stigmatization:

Mental Health:  As it applies to whether people are “snapping” or have a violent history, of how to handle feelings of rage and rejection. And to talk about open and honestly what is abnormal about human behaviors that can lead to deaths and what is needed for prevention and potential rehabilitation before people act in a violent manner, if that’s possible.

Gun Control: Yes, I do believe it’s part of the equation, I’ve never NOT believed in gun control. The only reason why I don’t say more, truthfully, is because as an activist, I fear the day when someone uses a bomb to kill multiple people, such as acts like 9/11 and Oklahoma City Bombing in 1995 and that becoming more common place, instead of guns. So I subscribe personally, to finding people who kill, more terrifying,  than their weapon/s of choice.

But I honestly believe, we have to learn how to listen to other people and learn how to agree to disagree, peacefully.

Because , if normally people who are considered mild mannered individuals can’t learn how to do that, we can’t expect people who are in crisis, to do so.

We may NOT ever have a prayer of teaching people in crisis, with a propensity to be violent, of a better way, but it doesn’t even seem like that we are even trying to do so, in an honest non judgemental way without stigma, that can hopefully help people before they end up killing someone or a lot of people.

Every situation that could be potentially volatile and/or fatal to someone, needs it’s own unique perspective on what’s the best course of action, other than what I’ve said before and that is, NOT giving people who commit these crimes, any attention, once they’re  captured, as I do believe there is a social media component that comes into play, that wasn’t around before the digital era to these horrific massacres.

So I’m starting a conversation, that I hope others who are way more qualified than I am, will join in, in hopes for prevention of loss of life and for healing for the survivors of these tragedies.

Peace….

#HimToo

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Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: I’m an activist not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional nor am I, in any way, a credentialed law enforcement or public safety expert.

If someone is in crisis and in danger of hurting themselves or others, please seek immediate professional help or call 911.

File this blog under the 1,653,219th thing I’d rather not be talking about.

Problem is, no one else is, and the issue at hand, NEEDS stigma removed and to be discussed publicly with no stigma.

I’m in NO WAY discounting the progress that the #MeToo movement.

But it’s missing a a segment and/or population of people.

There’s what, over 3 billion women on the planet, right?

Where are the stories of men who been assaulted, abused and harassed by women?

Or women who’ve been assaulted, abused and harassed by another woman?

While it may cause a blip in the news of a female teacher assaulting (cause it’s assault if someone’s not the age of consent and if that standard applies to a male teacher with a female victim) other than Mary Kay Letourneau, who can name another female who’s been all over the news for what they did and the consequences they faced?

And if you pardon the REALLY bad pun, if Mary Kay was actually a “Mark”,  he would be vilified and there would be NO story post prison time or shock and horror that a male assailant married his female victim.

Again, I’m in no way saying that momentum that #MeToo has made,  is hindering anything, but there’s a hypocrisy and stigma that’s still in place for some bizarre reason that we aren’t talking about male and female victims of female predators, more.

If at all.

And there is a hypocrisy in place, for example, with certain female celebrities, where they say stuff about men, that if that came out of a famous man’s mouth, they would be tried and convicted in the court of social media, with major damage to their reputations at a bare minimum or their careers would be over and it isn’t the same for females who do the equivalent of that.

It doesn’t hinder in any way, of just saying, all victims have a right to have their stories told, regardless of the gender and/or sexual identification of the assailant.

We can’t have a certain set of standards for young boys and men, that aren’t the same for young girls and women, to follow.

Because it’s not fair and it’s horribly hurtful to discount, if not diminish a person’s story because we don’t want to think that women in some cases are not the victims in these cases, but they actually are the  perpetrators.

#MeToo has to be inclusive of every victim of sexual assault, abuse and harassment, for it to maximize its potential to prevent assault, abuse and harassment, and for those who are victims, to be able to heal.

Note: I’m open to constructive criticism or dialogue, I’m not open for nasty comments. I get that I’m a “unique” kind of advocate, as well as a mother. I make no apologies as far as my being a mother, of saying and believing , if I’m going to have a certain standard for how you treat my daughter, that same standard also better be applied to how you treat my son.

So if you don’t have anything kind or constructive to say, please don’t say anything at all…

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