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Archive for the ‘rejection’ Category

Everything I did RIGHT and the one thing I did WRONG, when calling #911 to report a #DowntownMinneapolisSafetyHazard, 2 months ago….

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(picture of Thrivent Smith Lot at 7th St and 5th Avenue in DT East, the relevance of picture will be clearer in body of blog, picture taken by me, a few months ago)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained or credentialed medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in law enforcement or public safety. I do though deal with less than ideal situations as a private citizen and as an activist, and in this instance, when calling for help from emergency responders, it did fail me. I still will always recommend when someone is or if someone they witness is in crisis, they get help immediately by calling 911 or emergency services in your country of residence.

***
May 26th, 2019, around 7:30 p.m. :
“911, What’s your emergency?”
“My name is Alissa Kasen, I live at 72- 5th Avenue, a man who’s under the influence of illegal drugs, just walked by me, stopped suddenly and started screaming that he wanted wanted to blow up my apartment building, which he’s still sitting in front of”
“Can you please repeat your name and your building address?”
“Alissa Kasen, address is 72- 5th Avenue South, I created a diversion, and am a 1/2 a block away from him, at the Thrivent parking lot at 5th and 7th and I’m telling people not to walk in front of my apartment building, after trying trying to deescalate his anger, by acknowledging the hate he’s been subjected to, being Somali and he was angry that his race has caused him issues getting jobs, a place to live and women to date and I lied and said that I, Mayor Frey, Representative Omar and Police Chief Arrodondo is working against all the the Somali hate that exists. I don’t think he has an IED on him, he’s just enraged and looking for a fight”.
“Okay, we will send a squad, right away”.

Now what I repeated above, is almost verbatim of what I told that man, as well as what I told 911. That he was enraged, I didn’t think though he had an IED on his person, I described what he looked like, 5’6, approximately 120 lbs, Somali, tan pants, blue top and he was carrying a grey  hoodie.

The issue that still haunts me, 2 months later, is that while I described him perfectly, I did NOT describe myself, which I was a a heavyset female, with slightly messy red hair and unfortunately for me,  I didn’t describe what I wore or what I looked like.

And while I knew better to go back into my building, before I cleared my block, as we have handicapped door entrances that open and close slowly and that’s why I didn’t feel safe for me to go into my apartment building because he could’ve followed me in and also presented a safety threat to the residents in my building  and as well as I texted my boyfriend who  I was waiting outside for, as he was going to pick me up for dinner and I told him NOT to go in front of my building, as there was a safety emergency in front of it,  I made that one bad mistake, that really no one could blame me for, as I described the perpetrator, I didn’t think that I’d have to describe what I looked like, at all, especially not knowing at the time I called 911, that he’d confront me again.

From where I was facing, when I was in the parking lot next to my building, there’s no way that a squad could’ve come by to address the situation without me seeing it.

And unfortunately while they never showed in the 8-10 minutes I was waiting before my boyfriend picked me up at the end of my block, that man resurfaced again, after I concluded my 911 call,  angry that I lied to him, as I got away the first time from him, lying about a friend who had a medical emergency that I had to attend to.

Also admitting while he appreciated my kindness initially with having empathy for him and the prejudices he faced, he also admitted that his first thought when he saw me, was that he wanted to kill me, when approaching me that 2nd time. And he went from being maniacally like that, to asking me to have sex, give him drugs and money and asking if he could he hang out with me.

While I eventually as fear stricken as I was, able to kindly explain, I didn’t have anything to give him, that I did feel bad for him though and he let me be, he eventually started bothering a driver waiting at the light at 5th Avenue and 7th Street next to the parking lot next to my apartment building that 2nd time he found me and by the time my boyfriend picked me up, he had moved a block a way, where he was arguing with someone else.

I didn’t call 911 back right away, once my boyfriend picked me up. I did though a few hours later, called the non emergency number for the City of Minneapolis who did say they dispatched a squad .

I’m not accusing them of lying, what I am saying, 2 months later, is maybe because I wasn’t arguing or confrontational with the  erratic illegal unstable drug addict,  the 2nd time that when he approached me again,  the police who I never saw during that time period, at least, if they actually showed, didn’t bother to get involved, with me horrifically thinking my contact with a drug enraged stranger, was consensual, just based upon what I looked like, as I couldn’t have been clearer on what that man looked like.

It still haunts me, that happened, even though I get harassed a lot, even as as unkempt female, as I look like in public frequently, that others may think I have no standards, when I’m out and about, as it’s not my idea of a good time, hanging around dealers, erratic illegal drug abusers, people prone to criminal activity and people asking me for money, sex and cigarettes all the time.

But the difference is, 2 months ago, I did call 911 for help.

So, I guess going forward, should that happen again, not only will I have to explain of what a violent drug and sex seeking perpetrator looks like, I guess I’ll have to describe myself, so a mistake isn’t made, just because I’m NOT attractive that I would want attention like that.

I love our Minneapolis First Responders, whether they be police, fire or HCMC staff.

But, I should’ve never been put in that situation. Had that man been any farther foregone, it’s not a stretch that he could’ve killed me or someone else, given how irrational and enraged he was.

An open letter to Minneapolis Police Chief Medaria Arradondo , Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey and Rep. Ilhan Omar: What happened at MOA in April, WILL happen again in Minneapolis and Hennepin County, without some new major safety initiatives in place!!!!

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(above photo credit, me. the relevance of it, will be apparent in blog)

Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, or in matters of law enforcement and public safety, if you, someone you know or observe is in medical or mental health distress, please contact 911, immediately.

While I believe in above disclaimers wholeheartedly , it kind of failed on Sunday night.

I’ll explain…

***

So this last Sunday night, I’m waiting outside in front of my apartment building at 5th Avenue and 8th street, for my boyfriend to pick me up, as we had a dinner date planned at Outback in Roseville and he was on his way back after going up north for the holiday weekend.

I live 2 blocks away from HCMC and 4 blocks away from U.S. Bank Stadium.

I’d been waiting awhile, my boyfriend had hit traffic as he was coming back from a trip up north and so I made some conversation with my neighbors until they went back into our apartment building.

About 7:25 pm , I notice across the street at the Centre Village building, a man yelling, he crosses 5th Avenue between the stoplights at 8th and 7th approaches me, screaming as he slams his jacket that he’s holding in his hand on the sidewalk, a foot away and says “I’m going to fucking blow up this building.”

Then he proceeds to continue screaming  at me how he hates white people and ever since 9/11, Somalis like him can’t get a job, can’t get a date and that it’s all my fault.

I’m smoking a cigarette and quietly am listening to him, I told him that I do understand him, that the City of Minneapolis between the Chief of Police, our Mayor and Representative Ilhan Omar and myself even, as I’m a writer are working on preventing anti-Islamic hate and bigotry that negatively effects the Muslim community.

So he calms down and is not yelling at me anymore. He goes from screaming to wanting to find out more about me, and while he’s doing that, I’m worried about people walking by him, that could set him off, especially when I’m looking to get away from him, as he was not only enraged, but clearly on illegal substances.

So I lie to him and say that I have to go, I’m waiting for a ride to visit a friend in ICU at North Memorial, he asks if he can stay with me and come along, I tell him it’s not possible. Then he quizzes me while demanding I sit next to him of the color of my friends, I tell him that my friend in ICU is white, as well as my friend who I’m waiting for is white.

I tell him I must go and head down 5th towards 7th street (pic above is where I was hiding behind a bus station) first I text my boyfriend NOT to come near the front of my building that there’s an emergency and then I called 911, after warning people who were standing there talking at that street corner, as well as as woman with a baby in a stroller headed in the direction of the guy, who was still sitting in front of building that the man sitting front of that building is dangerous and they need to leave the area.

Unfortunately for me, he didn’t remain in front of my building for long, I was about 100 feet away from the Sexton Building and after spotting me, he ran across the parking lot between that  building and my apartment shouting my name (well, the name I gave him, which was Ali) then starts screaming at me for lying to him and he admits, that he originally was going to kill me, but thought I was different that I cared and that I wasn’t a normal white female anti-Islamic male  hater.

I calmly admitted to him that I do care, that he was scaring me when he was screaming at me (and his admission that he thought about killing me, didn’t help but didn’t tell him that), and when he started repeatedly and very loudly telling me he loved me, that he wanted to know if I’d share my money, crack and ganja (the last 2 out of 3 I didn’t have) that  if I wasn’t going to have sex with him, as he asked saying that would make him feel better and explained to him I didn’t have any of the other 3 things he wanted, as well as lying to him that I was on probation for drug possession and abuse and that the county repeatedly drug tested me.

Unless this has happened to someone else, I can’t explain how surreal and scary it is, to have someone who admits they wanted to kill you at first, then asks you to marry them and that fights with you about being a liar who won’t share your money, crack and weed with them, but admits that they still love you anyways and that person is a violent unstable stranger, who’s not in his right mind that fueled further by illegal substances .

This is the deal though, if he had to confront any white woman with the intention of killing them, I’m GLAD he picked me. I’ve lived in Downtown Minneapolis long enough, I get harassed for sex, drugs and money all the time.

I know better than to get an attitude.

Which no one should ever do, especially in my case, I didn’t have a weapon, nor would I ever even try to get a permit and a gun.

And I wasn’t even in the wrong place at the wrong time, I was in front of my apartment building where going back in it, I wasn’t going to risk, because he would’ve forced his way into it, making him also a threat to my building and my neighbors.

After his second confrontation when I kindly said there was NOTHING I could do to help him but that I wish him well, he FINALLY decided to leave me in peace because he understood at least that I was  scared by him and I was sincere in acknowledging that I was sorry about his experience with hate.

That 2nd confrontation lasted about 8 minutes, by then my boyfriend pulled up at 5th and 7th, I quickly hopped in his SUV, made him roll up the windows, briefly pointed out as that guy was fighting by then with some guy in front of the construction build for the new Thrivent HQ, a block away from my apartment building further on 5th when we drove by them  and I was absolutely shaking.

I had thought about calling 911, a 2nd time to tell them he moved a block further down 5th but felt I had given such a good description, that they would find him and didn’t want to be nuisance, now in the last 36 hours, I feel horrible that I never called 911 back to tell them he moved a block further down.

So I come home several hours later after going to dinner which I couldn’t eat, I mention my experience on Facebook, I call the non emergency phone number for the police, where the lady who answered said officers responded at the time, but that he wasn’t there.

I love our Minneapolis first responders, whether it be police, fire and HCMC EMS and 911.

But they didn’t respond to my call right away and I had told the 911 operator the location was of my apartment building, outside a man was making a terroristic threat and that I was calling from the corner of  5th Avenue and 7th Street, as I was trying to get away from him and prevent anyone else from walking by him, as well.

And this is what haunts me, personally, as I’m a larger not attractive woman who smokes cigarettes, that while I described him, I never described myself, what if they did see him, the 2nd time he approached me, where I was a half a block away from the address I gave the 911 operator and thought it was a non violent domestic discussion  of sorts.

It also haunts me, what if he ended up hurting if not killing someone else.

But what I realized is, that we as a city and county (actually this needs to be done on a national and global level)  if we want to have a prayer of reducing the chances of another violent incident by someone who feels like they’ve been a target of hate for so long, that feeling of rejection and rage escalates to someone wanting deadly revenge that we have to figure out how to reach out to those individuals to break the cycle.

I’ve been trying to achieve this as an activist and blogger for violent crime prevention for YEARS.

So maybe what I said, but was lying about city and state  initiatives that involve our MPD, Mayor, Minneapolis City Council and with help from Rep. Ilhan Omar regarding anti-Islamic hate , as well as I’m willing to help and help from top psychological and chemical dependency specialists could and actually should be created, to help those who are at risk due to constant  rejection, of helping reducing the escalation of rage that leads to potentially deadly harm as a form of revenge.

AS, I came this close, 2 days ago, to becoming a news story, myself and having an obituary written about my death, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have a skill set that’s good when working with people who ARE violent and/or severely mentally ill and in crisis and I don’t discount that  in this case, I also was very lucky.

While I  can only hope that his confrontation with me, was enough to spare someone else from potential violence, if not deadly harm.

But hoping isn’t enough, what happened to that little boy at Mall of America will happen again, what happened to me, will happen again but escalate to a tragedy and maybe we won’t be able to prevent all of these  tragedies, it will be worth it, if we can prevent at least some of them.

Note: Anything that’s not constructive will not published. I find any kind of anti-Islamic and anti-semetic hate actually any kind of hate based upon appearances, religion, political affiliation, socioeconomics, weight and ideologies, revolting.

What requires the most urgency at this point in time: Falsely reported hate crimes or INITIATIVES to try to prevent planned hate massacres???

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Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional. Nor am I trained in matters of public safety or law enforcement.
IF you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

The above quote I posted, unfortunately is outdated.

We’re past the point of being at risk of “will collapse” and we’ve arrived that it is collapsing, others disregard or hatred of humans that’s leading to senseless murders and massacres that are almost happening on a daily basis.

In no way am I trying to dismiss the importance of a need to have a deterrence for falsely reported hate crimes, as in the case of what happened with Jussie Smollet who’s facing potential felony charges for allegedly doing that.

I’m also not discounting of the harm and hurt he did to more conservative people.

And not only that, going forward, just like in the past with attacks on both white people and black people in the LGBTQ community, there’s also the chance of increasing disbelief of victims, when crimes of this nature due ACTUALLY occur.

The thing though is, I do believe that making it a felony will deter in the future, attempts to gain public attention/sympathy, waste public resources for those who could be capable of making a false claim of a hate crime, going forward.

What cannot be legislated away, is something else that was reported in the news yesterday, that a Coast Guard employee, Lt. Christopher Hasson was apprehended and in that investigation, the little that’s been released he planned on murdering as many innocent civilians, democratic politicians and cable news anchors that he had on a list.

Six days ago, 5 people were murdered by an ex-coworker who was enraged at losing his job in Aurora, Illinois.

Which was the 39th mass shooting in 2019.

And you have to say Aurora, Illinois, not to confuse the massacre in Aurora, Colorado in 2012 where 12 people were murdered, 70 injured which was the 3rd largest gun massacre in U.S. modern history.

When the news broke last night of the extent that Christopher Hasson planned on killing as many people as he could, I happened to see it on CNN and something that now I can’t shake  and propelling me to write this.

One of the contributors said, “It was good thing that this person made a mistake”.

If I thought that he was a potential lone isolated incident, I’d still be scared for how many senseless tragedies that are happening but not to the extent where it’s been quoted he wanted to kill “almost everybody”, but what’s scaring me, is what if he IS NOT an isolated situation?

What if now, though, there are others who are diabolically planning massacres will try harder to prevent any detection, so they can actually execute these heinous massacres of innocent people?

You can’t prevent with legislation that’s going to have a chance in reducing these tragedies, mass murderers do not fear consequences, quite a few of them in the past were willing to die for what ever evil cause they are thinking they have to avenge, or as in this case hating almost everybody that goes beyond just being a White Supremacist, as there was more than anti-semitism, Islamophobia, anti-gay and left leaning political hatred in his desire to do try and plan an atrocity to the extent such as what he was planning.

I get a lot of crap for NOT totally blaming guns in situations like this from people who do lean more to the left.

I get the occasional death threat or comment that I should kill myself  from people who lean more to the right, for making the comment that I don’t know why the NRA can’t denounce these kind of horrific crimes.

I have no problem with them defending their members who use guns responsibly and rationally.

I have people who I adore who are members of the NRA and they are good people.

How hard is it though to take a stance that they don’t want mass murderers as their members (even if they aren’t members of the NRA, they don’t care about responsible gun ownership like many members of the NRA do)  not condemning potentially endorses dangerous and deadly behaviors (I’m not saying the NRA is responsible for those murders) for those who are so misguided in thinking that they are right to something so heinous, that they may be under the misguided belief that the NRA thinks it’s ok, if not commendable.

But it needs to be said, guns in these tragedies are weapon of choice, unfortunately there are enough massacres that have occurred in people who did obtain guns legally or had no legal or mental history that would be cause for alarm to suspect some of these murderers of  wanting to commit these massacres.

As well as deadly massacres that weren’t executed with guns.

IF we can’t come together in our society to try to find solutions to try and prevent these tragedies happening over and over again, we will go from active shooter situations, to active bombers and mass murderers planning to kill as many people as possibly with something other than a gun, in the future.

I only hope I’m so wrong about this.

But there are too many mass murders that have occurred in the last 10 years alone that show hate and rage  is NOT only increasing, intensifying and more divisive than ever, it’s becoming way more deadly.

We have to do something on a major scale in hopes for prevention and reduction of these horrific tragedies and we have to do it, NOW.

Note: I’m amenable to constructive criticism. Save the hate, though. I think the best way to look at what I’m trying to get across, is coming up with national and global initiatives on prevention of massacres, will hopefully save lives and the lives it could save, could be yours or someone you love.

With bated breath …

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Disclaimers: I am NOT  a clinically trained professional in medical or mental health or possess any kind of education or training in any form of law enforcement.

IF someone you know is capable of hurting themselves and/or others, please contact emergency services in your location, immediately.

***

I really wanted to title this blog “Hate Won”…

Because I’m really beginning to think that hate is winning out.

I’m also really beginning to think, that no matter what I or others say about learning how to agree to disagree, choosing apathy over hate and that NO matter what morally or ethically (there’s a difference with legal) transgressions that people do to another, we don’t have the right to pay back those transgressions with violent irreversible harm over another for those who have a predilection for crime or for those who snap (which quite a few domestic murder/suicides this year alone were committed by people with no legal history or history of mental illness) .

I thought about the very recent crimes that happened in the United States that triggered my writing this blog and realized it didn’t matter whether or not  I specified the crimes, well the crimes of course did matter, but the actual date’s crimes didn’t, for activism purposes, as this happens EVERYDAY, now.

I’m obviously NOT a psychiatrist who specializes in violent crime pathology.

You don’t need to be though, to have an opinion or if one has a desire  to try and help make the world a better place, to have an opinion.

Some of my blogs are meant to be “DBT on Demand” for those who refuse to seek treatment and try to bring awareness that their words and/or actions can be harmful, if not fatal to themselves and/or  others.

Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given has been by someone NOT familiar with my exact personal circumstances and was practically, if not, a total stranger.

Some of the best life saving advice that I’ve ever given (with above disclaimer that people in any kind of crisis need to be evaluated and treated by appropriate professionals, in appropriate facilities) is to people who I don’t know personally, but have found me because of this blog.

It just goes beyond my scope of comprehension, of how people can let unchecked rage due to rejection, that leads to deadly revenge or attempt to kill another.

For someone who’s been hated on by people, the majority of my entire life  because of weight and looks (being more on the unattractive side of the spectrum) most of my life, I’ve only turned rage inward and what I learned when I became a mother, untreated hatred even if it’s just limited to oneself, can have devastating emotional consequences on those who you love the most, no matter how unintentional.

I had to learn at a young age how to deal with rejection and while it wasn’t hurtful to others, it wasn’t constructive, either and it’s something some of us, especially for those of us who’ve really never fit in, have to check in with themselves and take personal inventory on how we react to that, so it does NOT  turn inward or externally to others, and sometimes people can do that on their own, others may need professional help.

It NEVER helps whether in the short or long run,  to retaliate either emotionally or physically against someone who you hate either because you loved them at one time and they emotionally hurt you or in a lot of cases now, where people want to retaliate against strangers who they have differences of opinions.

I’m trying to multiple things here, but one thing I should try to make clear, for a blog that’s intended to reduce violent crime, I’m going way out of my way to talk about LEGALITIES, because they cease to matter to an individual once they try to perpetuate violent crime.

I REALLY don’t want to write these kind of blogs, anymore.

But I still do, because I cannot bear to know that someone can try to go to work, to school, a place of worship or grocery shopping and never come back because they were murdered for one or many of multiple reasons that most people with a shred of ration and sanity could never commit, due to another’s hatred of something or someone.

I want to put it out there, in a way I’m capable and comfortable with, that exacting violent or really any kind of revenge, isn’t badass or noble, it’s quite COWARDLY and it’s the worst possible legacy one will leave and I really can’t understand why anyone would want to do that although I’m trying, in hopes for prevention of violent crime.

That it’s despicable shame that the energy used to hurt others can’t (although I’m TRYING) to encourage re-channeling of that negative to do something positively good for another/others.

Or at least to prevent harm to innocent people.

And again not everyone is going to love each other, but if you can’t find empathy, try apathy.

People cannot become desensitized to all this violence due to fear, even though it’s understandable because it’s too painful to think about this happening to your own loved ones.

So my challenge to you, my dear readers, as well as the rest of the universe is, everytime you have negative thought about any person in regards to race, religion, politics, gender identification/sexual preference and weight (whether it be people on the thinner or larger side of the spectrum) , try to find something positive about that person to counteract the negative energy to neutralize it.

Here’s an example: “That #@^^____!!! I hate #$^____, they can all jump off a bridge, as far as I’m concerned!!!”

Try this when having a thought like that to yourself (and maybe if and/or if you’ll ever be ready to something like that in public forum/fashion) “Hey that person is a human being, maybe I need to remind myself that before I pass judgment on ____ and _____ and____ as they aren’t hurting anyone or themselves, it’s truthfully, really none of my business”.

We aren’t born to hate.

Unfortunately though, we are conditioned to.

Unless one intentionally chooses to break that cycle of being a hater and the good news is you can.

Because something so small, could do so much for innocent others who are losing their lives daily, because people can’t contain rage from rejection and it leads to revenge.

There’s a good reason, I didn’t write a 3 word blog with a 3 word title called “Let It Go”.

Because people do many bad things based upon the “why”.

The where, what, how and who obviously matters, enormously as well.

So maybe if we try to break the cycle on hating, by teaching from the time people are young how not to  be hateful and how to agree to disagree with a no bullying/hate tolerance stance and reinforcing that lifelong, we may have a chance on reducing violent crime.

But until then, I wait with bated breath, for the next tragic news story, that’s bound to happen in this hate cycle our society is in.

Note: Anything that’s not constructive, will NOT be published.

#DepravedIndifferenceInTheDigitalEra

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical, mental health or in public safety professional. I’m just a concerned medical and mental health and violent crime prevention activist and blogger, at times.

A lot lately.

And for awhile now.

If you or someone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services (i.e. 911 if you’re in the United States) and other important crisis resources will be at the end of this blog.

***

With a title like this, I guess I need to make some clarifications, right from the start.

I’ve been around for almost a half of a century, now .

I know that people have been hateful and harmful from the beginning of time, let alone before computers, internet and smart phone eras.

But now so many people are being irrevocably mentally and medically harmed, if not having their lives violently taken from them.

Where no place is sacred, such as a school, a place of worship, a hospital, a government center, a daycare or workplace and playgrounds, to name a few.

Where no one is spared, whether they be a baby, child, teenager adult to elderly.

Regardless of political preferences, gender, sexual orientation/identification, religion, race, race and socioeconomics.

And  people from all walks of life, have the potential that they fufill ,to be predators, perpetrators of hateful actions and vile crimes (well not babies or very young children) and to be victims.

This is what I’m deciding to mainly focus on, going forward as an activist…

That the serious discussions that need to take place, that I’m a part of, as far as making an attempt to be a part of the discussion to make aware, that people are losing the ability to realize and respect the sanctity of human life.

That everyone should have a life that is free from physiological and psychological harm.

That we start instilling this in the young.

And have safety nets in place lifelong for human being the evaluation and treatment of people in crisis.

And that we as a society if we’re going to survive, let alone thrive, have to figure out how to respectfully agree to disagree.

That rejection, if it or anything else that leads to rage, people can get help so they don’t continue to harm and kill innocent people.

That they don’t continue to irrovacably interfere with another’s right to peace of mind.

It needs to be said, in an era, where there is so many murder/suicides and just such an increase in violent crime, as well as the increase in severe emotional abuse and bullying, that even the people without a history, even if they started out and throughout their life, that doesn’t mean much, if they end their own lives and others, violently.

Or they in secret or quite publically hate and shame on a population of people, whether it be online or offline.

I DO NOT  believe that everyone can love everyone.

But it needs to change  where people realize how much it can harm, if they ONLY  have compassion for people who they care about and who are similarly like minded.

In that case apathy is a lot better than contempt or hate.

And if nothing else, if one can’t be a part of the solution, please don’t be a part of the problem.

Because some people just for no reason are predispotioned to depravity.

And then there are others where for multiple reasons, their depravity is circumstantial.

But no less damaging, if not deadly.

Note: I hope this will lead to necessary discussions about having multiple initiatives in hopes to help humankind.

Any response that is hateful or not constructive to this topic will NOT be published.

http://www.befrienders.org

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What, if anything can be done to reduce domestic murder/suicides??? #StigmaKills

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http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-8255
http://www.befrienders.org (outside the U.S.)

Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional. I will ALWAYS encourage people in crisis to seek immediate professional help or call emergency services if they or someone they know is capable of hurting themselves or others.

The epidemic we are facing now, is that sometimes people are just snapping and killing loved ones and then themselves, when a relationship ends.

Sometimes there is an issue where in cases of domestic violence, recently, where a spouse seeks an order of protection and whether or NOT it’s granted, it’s still not enough for someone to not only kill their signficant others but children and other family or friends who are in the household or the spare the abused spouse, to cause as much horrific physical and emotional trauma as possible.

And sometimes people are commiting these horrific tragedies with no previous criminal or mental health history.

We are in a new era, that people who are clinically trained medical and mental health professionals and law enforcement and we as a society have to come up with a better way of potentially forecasting these potentially tragedies and educating people on gettting evaluated and treated for their depression and rage issues so it’s not fatal to them or anyone else.

I’d ask though if this is too sensitive of a topic for people, please DO NOT read.

Thanks…
***

I just managed to catch a beyond tragic story on People.com, a few minutes ago.

An Alabama man, after his wife, a 3rd grade teacher filed for divorce, due to his opioid addiction issues, and 9 days after she filed for divorce he shot her and 1 of 3 triplets to death, 2 of the triplets were also shot are in ICU after being able to escape and their 13 year old escaped before the father was able to shoot them and setting his house with the 2 of the dead bodies in it, last weekend.

I’ve probably now wrote at least a dozen blogs on trying to bring awareness on how to prevent domestic murder/suicides.

Again, it bears repeating, I’m NOT a clinically trained professional nor do I have any training in law enforcement or criminal psychology.

But this is what I do know:

Domestic violence has been around for a long time and it’s getting deadlier for a partner to end a relationship than it ever has been.

And even in relationships that domestic violence wasn’t a factor, more people are innocently are being killed, when a relationship ends, than ever before.

Both legal and illegal opioids have been around for a long time but more people are dying due to overdoses and as innocent parties to opioid addiction and abuse because of a loved one’s opioid addiction.

In this instance, it wasn’t released of whether or not that man was legally able to have a firearm.

And in the nature of how he ambushed his family, he still had the rage and kerosene to set his house on fire.

I’m not saying that I don’t believe in some issues regarding gun control.

Because I definitely do.

It’s not that I don’t feel any different with regulating opiates.

As I definitely do about that, as well.

The thing is though, if we don’t find a way for people whether it’s starting when people are young to find a way to constructively work through anger and rage, when feeling rejection, even if we could eradicate both guns and drugs, people would still die from addiction issues and be murdered in a different manner other than with a firearm, because others can’t appropriately process rage and rejection, the addiction in some of these cases, just adds another complication and/or higher risk of escalation of violence and increased risk for fatalities.

If people aren’t afraid of going to prison, due to being violent or possessing or abusing drugs, don’t have the respect for the sanctity of life, either for themselves or someone they are supposed to love, where their rage of a partner’s rejection outweighs them rationally knowing that their loved ones have a right to their lives and peace of mind, an order of protections don’t mean anything, if it’s applicable.

And in a lot of recent cases, orders of protections weren’t applicable.

Because, people who had no criminal history, have killed their families, loved ones, friends and/or peers and then lots of times, themselves when a relationship ends or feeling some kind of rejection romantically or platonically.

Or when feeling rejected in school, their workplaces or their houses of worship.

More initiatives are needed to try and prevent these horrific tragedies.

And they are needed NOW.

And starting these kind of initiatives, when people are young and being constructively educated, lifelong.

Note: I will NOT publish anything that’s not constructive. Thanks….

“Emotional Self Defense”??? #MLK50 #YouTubeShooting….

martin-luther-king-jr-leader-we-must-develop-and-maintain-the

Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically or credentially  trained professional in medical, mental health, law enforcement and/or  in public safety. IF anyone you know is in crisis and is a danger to themselves or others,  please contact law enforcement immediately, on my previous blog to this one, I have dozens of national links and one global link on my previous blog.

Unfortunately, the above disclaimer wouldn’t have done any good, yesterday.

I’m talking about the attempted potential mass murder and suicide of a shooter at the You Tube Headquarters in San Bruno, California, yesterday.

Her family did the right thing.

And this blog and my intentions isn’t to cast blame on anyone but the shooter.

And ask once again, could’ve anything been done to prevent this, well with initiatives, at least and what they need to look like, at this point.

But because as an activist, while I rely on quotes and the work of Dr. Martin Luther King, to help inspire me. I’m going to look at using some of his work, to help in hopes that at least some of these tragedies can possibly be prevented, that go beyond gun control and mental health awareness, which I believe in, I just don’t believe it’s enough.

On this 50th anniversary of MLK’s assassination, I’m looking to his work tonight, to bring out his wisdom and kindness in such a scary digital age, 5 decades later to see if any of these tragedies can be prevented, possibly.

I had thought yesterday after the shooting and the news coverage, once the shooter was identified as being dead, I’d leave this alone.

I spent yesterday morning running errands and had an afternoon appointment when I came home to decompress and lots of times I do that by watching You Tube, as I have a paid account (YouTube Red) and no cable.

Only when taking a quick break to check on email, about 20 minutes after it started to trend about an active shooter situation.

But the motives and end results, where in this case, one of the victims is still in critical condition, these happen too often with different motives of the shooter and different degrees of horrifying end outcomes.

I spent most of my morning yesterday, explaining in random details to the person helping me run errands, prior to the tragedy yesterday, of explaining why I do something in regards to murder/suicide prevention, as a blogger and activist.

I don’t think I’m the most qualified (hardly), but it’s something that’s now almost becoming a daily horrifying tragedy in the United States with varying opinions arguing who’s the more right but no professional insight from those trained in dealing with abnormal/trauma psychiatry or psychology.

The above quote by MLK I think could do a lot in preventing these tragedies from occurring, as far as teaching forgiveness, kindness and empathy and and how to productively deal with rejection and rage, from the time people are young.

But when talking about this tragedy on Facebook, I brought up something and it’s something to consider.

I have to wonder if some of these tragedies are based in an abhorrent/abnormal mindset of “emotional self defense” of the worst kind.

Meaning people when feeling wronged, it’s okay to be upset, it’s not okay to take away people’s inherent right to peace of mind, not at the expense of others, nor at the expense of human life, EXCEPT when people are in a situation of mortal danger, but some people are not seeming to rationally realize this, at this point.

I have the expression about myself that I’m “damaged but not dangerous” and while there’s a lot of things I don’t like about myself or my life and while I’m pondering if there’s more I can do to be a more productive human being, I can say that trying to help people learn in a constructive way, from my own personal tragedies, may have not led to physical wealth and the ultimate in personal success, but I can feel at least a small sense of pride, that what I went through, it wasn’t in vain.

And I’m not saying that all people should be this way, I do believe people have to find their own way in the world, but whether or not someone is capable of forgiveness, they shouldn’t be capable of such short sighted but irrevocable revenge, especially when it comes to loss of life, in situations that aren’t literally a matter of life or death, if EVER.

As I’ve said before in previous blogs, I use the internet to have some quality of life, I don’t think it’s good for people who even make a living on social media, to make a life or live life on the multiple platforms of social media, that are now available to us.

And that mental health and/or fitness (which yes, it’s possible, even when having different mental illnesses) and agility, is EQUALLY important as physical health.

And also as I’ve said in recent blogs and blogs for years now, on the topic of mass murder and murder/suicide rooted in rejection and rage (or for ANY reason), teaching that there is no shame in getting help for oneself and maybe we need to teach people how to help themselves, get acute professional help, whenever it’s possible, before they hurt and/or kill themselves and others.

So when I’m sad that we live in such a divided angry society with a growing daily body count of innocent others, I’m going to continue to ask myself “What would MLK do???”.

So that he didn’t die in vain and the many people now, who are continuing to die because of deadly violent rage.

And maybe it would help others, to do the same.

Peace….

Note: Blog being published on 4-4-2018. Constructive input welcomed. No hate, please.

And while it makes me nauseous to have to say this, if one can’t find comfort and wisdom in the works of MLK, there’s always Mr. Rogers, K?

Thanks!!!

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