It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCACY’ Category

The #BeKindBecauseYouCantRewindHate Challenge…..

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Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in matters of law enforcement or public safety.

IF anyone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

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“I’d rather be a little nobody than an evil somebody”- Abraham Lincoln

I haven’t blogged for awhile…

Sometimes, I get to the point with school shootings, domestic homicides and plots, if not attempts that are tragically executed to kill a lot of people, are now becoming a daily event, I’ve been kind of stewing in a lot of sadness for what our society is becoming more violent, on an hourly basis.

While in da olden days when I was young, when it came to anti-bullying efforts we were stuck with “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me” and we now know that neither about that adage is actually true, and we are trying now, to find ways to prevent all this violence and bullying going on, there’s one thing I’d like to suggest that might help.

I’ve never wondered why, as someone who was so bullied for so long and then that probably factored into mental health issues of why I didn’t hate others, I just hated myself.

I’ve blogged ad nauseum about the unintentional hurt it caused people I love, I don’t need to rehash it.

I never wanted hurt or harm to happen to those who’ve hated on me for the last four and half decades.

I just wanted it to STOP!!!

To help others, whether they turn hating on them inwardly or to others, the one thing I think that could help others realize that everyone has a right to a peaceful and violence free life, is trying to find one thing, and concentrate on that, about a person or a population of people, that one is predisposed to not like and find something kind, to think about them or something you might have in common, with like us being human beings and all.

That’s the only ONE part of the challenge.

The 2nd part is, while teaching kindness in our society and the sanctity of life, is just as, if not more important and imperative as it’s ever been, the second part is more of an actual challenge.

What and who you choose to find kind things to say about, keep it to yourself.

If you want to do something public, positive, proactive and productive, make your social media and offline spaces “hate-free” zones.

“The best way to destroy your enemy is to make them your friend”- Abraham Lincoln

Okay, maybe that’s asking too much.

Not everyone can be friends with each other.

But, WE all can make an effort NOT to make people their enemy, and have active hate campaigns, both in words and in actions to people, just because they are of different races, cultures, gender identification, religion, weight,ideologies and political affiliations than ourselves.

And it’s not terribly difficult, even with someone you may have major differences in almost everything with, to find ONE good thing about them.

And just concentrate on that and their right, just like your own, to a peaceful and violence free life.

Because, you don’t just have to choose from being a little or big nobody and an evil somebody, you can be your authentic true self, who’s not perfect but is a good somebody.

Just don’t participate in hate of ANY kind in the world.

“Whatever you are, be a good one”- Abraham Lincoln

 

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What we all OWE to a certain young comic on a weekend night variety show…

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Important Disclaimers: My normal disclaimers about not being a clinically professional in any matter, doesn’t apply, in these circumstances and these circumstances ONLY.

While this is a blog to achieve an activism goal, there is profanity, if profanity laced truth bomb type of blog offends anyone, please DON’T read. Thanks!!!

I didn’t want to write this blog, I figured there would be some hypocrisy in talking about someone who clearly just wants to be fucking left alone by the media and his haters.

I ONLY figured I’d give it a shot, not naming his name, and because I don’t make any money on my blogs, would make me less of a hypocrite.

I think maybe I feel so grateful to this individual because I feel less stigmatized with my own mental health issues, by him being so public about his own.

Maybe I feel I can relate to him because I cherish my privacy and am grateful that no one gives a fuck of who I am or what I do.

And that he doesn’t  have that luxury, which should be a right and necessity when people ask for their privacy and to be left alone.

Maybe because if you listen closely, he’s been telling haters and the media, to back off for a while now.

I don’t think just because someone chooses a career path that leads them to be in the public eye, that when they make it clear that they don’t love publicity, that they are fair game.

They aren’t fair game.

And this year has really NOT been fair to him.

Any mistake he’s made professionally, the size of his dick and the history of his love life and more insultingly and disgustingly, questioning how he has one, has been fodder for both haters and the media, in the last year.

Fucking knock this shit off, he’s quietly telling in the only way he knows how to tell people to back off, now it’s up to others, to say it more emphatically that it’s terrible what you’re all doing to him, it’s lazy and cruel at best, and it could be deadly, at its worst.

Do you really need a reclusive activist telling you to get your own life and some ethics, as it applies to bullying and trying to profit off a young celebrity, who needs the fucking world to just give him his privacy and to knock off the hateful and profiting bullshit ???

Consider it done, now….

Note: Nothing not constructive written about the subject of this blog or myself will published.

What #Thanksgiving Should REALLY Be About…

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, I have absolutely no training in public safety and law enforcement, I will always urge those who are in crisis or have loved ones who are, who could be capable of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

I’m NOT happy this Thanksgiving.

Which is OKAY.

What I am though is grateful, humble and have a desire to help others, even if it’s not in a monumental way, given my purposefully limited presence on social media.

It’s been a brutal year for so many that I know and don’t know, in losses of things and most importantly people, by many ways and for many reasons.

And my heart as a human hurts for those people and their loved ones, who’ve lost their lives, their livelihoods and their homes.

And if you’re similar to me, regardless of reasons, what I lost in the last coming years and it isn’t getting better and is actually getting worse, is my peace of mind.

That doesn’t mean I don’t possess emotionally stability and mental fitness, because I do.

I’ve spent the last year especially working on that, as well as what I do as an activist and little else.

Circumstances in the last year, led me to ignore the external about myself and rather fight a losing battle about what I look like, at least at this time in my life, led me to do that and I’m so grateful for that because if I have to feel that I can be a prisoner in some ways of others choices that can negatively impact another and circumstances within myself that I can’t control medically, it’s reinforced my commitment that if I can’t help someone, that I’m supersensitive to the fact that I don’t hurt them.

STOP.

Okay, so I started the above a few hours and went to take a break.

Coming back to write this again, more reinforced in the direction that this blog was meant to be in the first place and that is gratitude for people and the intangible good things.

I’m spending this holiday alone, and I’ll just say somewhat on purpose, because the reasons don’t matter.

The contradiction of what this holiday is supposed to mean, is in great abundance in my emails, I don’t dare look for it anywhere else on the internet.

Emails like “Happy Thanksgiving, Alissa!!! Start your Black Friday shopping, NOW”, all eight trillion of them.

I get business is business and I don’t think commercialism or capitalism is bad in itself.

I think it’s getting muddied though in the social media era, when people became brands themselves or when it became purposely that brands tried to become “peoplish”.

And for my sake, I’m not going to make that worse by being on social media, even though I’m blessed with great supportive people I’ve found because of it.

I don’t need a holiday to remind to be grateful for what is good.

I remember ten years ago, like when I didn’t have anything, including my freedom in addition to having medical health issues that make it no small miracle that I’m still alive for the last 8 years.

That’s probably why, knowing how lucky I am, in so many ways that I don’t ever forget, being grateful for my loved ones, my freedom, having my basic needs met that I didn’t think ten years ago, life could get more scary but it has.

I’m not talking about just me but for so many, where as we get further along, we get more backwards in ways that matter the most.

Unfortunately, it just seems like it doesn’t matter or it matters less, about who and what you are on the inside and/or what you can do to help others, as much as it matters of what you look like on the outside and what you have.

That’s our new normal, though and that I find terrifying and calling that out on a day that we are supposed to be grateful for what we have and with our loved ones, isn’t sacred anymore, feels icky but necessary.

Because people are being conditioned to be more concerned what others are doing, what they look like when they are doing it, what they have and what they will acquire and being focused on that is not only diminishing who we are as people, but who we are as a society.

I’m sad for those who have experienced awful losses this year and I admire those who have and still have managed to find the good even though I can still feel sympathy for those who are stuck because of their tremendous losses and can’t see the good and are saddened.

I’m grateful to the people who sacrifice their personal lives, if not their actual lives to protect us and help us.

Everyone has a gift that’s unique to them, that’s intangible that they could either use to help themselves and or others, I hope people who can’t see that about them, that they finally are able to identify it and use it to help themselves and/or others for greater good.

And it’s not bad nor does it make someone bad, if they need a reminder that anything that has a dollar amount, isn’t what’s most invaluable to us.

It’s who and how we love and doing that and/or trying harder to do that with kindness, is what really matters.

That’s what I’m going to be concentrating on this Thanksgiving, as well as I do in my daily life.

Lastly, I’m in no way saying it’s bad or that people are superficial for liking things and loving social media.

But, it could help anyone and everyone to take a moment, get off your phones, tell the people who you are grateful for that you are and if you’re not with them, let them know that. Often.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Note: Anything not constructive will NOT be published!!!

 

#DepravedIndifferenceInTheDigitalEra

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical, mental health or in public safety professional. I’m just a concerned medical and mental health and violent crime prevention activist and blogger, at times.

A lot lately.

And for awhile now.

If you or someone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services (i.e. 911 if you’re in the United States) and other important crisis resources will be at the end of this blog.

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With a title like this, I guess I need to make some clarifications, right from the start.

I’ve been around for almost a half of a century, now .

I know that people have been hateful and harmful from the beginning of time, let alone before computers, internet and smart phone eras.

But now so many people are being irrevocably mentally and medically harmed, if not having their lives violently taken from them.

Where no place is sacred, such as a school, a place of worship, a hospital, a government center, a daycare or workplace and playgrounds, to name a few.

Where no one is spared, whether they be a baby, child, teenager adult to elderly.

Regardless of political preferences, gender, sexual orientation/identification, religion, race, race and socioeconomics.

And  people from all walks of life, have the potential that they fufill ,to be predators, perpetrators of hateful actions and vile crimes (well not babies or very young children) and to be victims.

This is what I’m deciding to mainly focus on, going forward as an activist…

That the serious discussions that need to take place, that I’m a part of, as far as making an attempt to be a part of the discussion to make aware, that people are losing the ability to realize and respect the sanctity of human life.

That everyone should have a life that is free from physiological and psychological harm.

That we start instilling this in the young.

And have safety nets in place lifelong for human being the evaluation and treatment of people in crisis.

And that we as a society if we’re going to survive, let alone thrive, have to figure out how to respectfully agree to disagree.

That rejection, if it or anything else that leads to rage, people can get help so they don’t continue to harm and kill innocent people.

That they don’t continue to irrovacably interfere with another’s right to peace of mind.

It needs to be said, in an era, where there is so many murder/suicides and just such an increase in violent crime, as well as the increase in severe emotional abuse and bullying, that even the people without a history, even if they started out and throughout their life, that doesn’t mean much, if they end their own lives and others, violently.

Or they in secret or quite publically hate and shame on a population of people, whether it be online or offline.

I DO NOT  believe that everyone can love everyone.

But it needs to change  where people realize how much it can harm, if they ONLY  have compassion for people who they care about and who are similarly like minded.

In that case apathy is a lot better than contempt or hate.

And if nothing else, if one can’t be a part of the solution, please don’t be a part of the problem.

Because some people just for no reason are predispotioned to depravity.

And then there are others where for multiple reasons, their depravity is circumstantial.

But no less damaging, if not deadly.

Note: I hope this will lead to necessary discussions about having multiple initiatives in hopes to help humankind.

Any response that is hateful or not constructive to this topic will NOT be published.

http://www.befrienders.org

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What, if anything can be done to reduce domestic murder/suicides??? #StigmaKills

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http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-8255
http://www.befrienders.org (outside the U.S.)

Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional. I will ALWAYS encourage people in crisis to seek immediate professional help or call emergency services if they or someone they know is capable of hurting themselves or others.

The epidemic we are facing now, is that sometimes people are just snapping and killing loved ones and then themselves, when a relationship ends.

Sometimes there is an issue where in cases of domestic violence, recently, where a spouse seeks an order of protection and whether or NOT it’s granted, it’s still not enough for someone to not only kill their signficant others but children and other family or friends who are in the household or the spare the abused spouse, to cause as much horrific physical and emotional trauma as possible.

And sometimes people are commiting these horrific tragedies with no previous criminal or mental health history.

We are in a new era, that people who are clinically trained medical and mental health professionals and law enforcement and we as a society have to come up with a better way of potentially forecasting these potentially tragedies and educating people on gettting evaluated and treated for their depression and rage issues so it’s not fatal to them or anyone else.

I’d ask though if this is too sensitive of a topic for people, please DO NOT read.

Thanks…
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I just managed to catch a beyond tragic story on People.com, a few minutes ago.

An Alabama man, after his wife, a 3rd grade teacher filed for divorce, due to his opioid addiction issues, and 9 days after she filed for divorce he shot her and 1 of 3 triplets to death, 2 of the triplets were also shot are in ICU after being able to escape and their 13 year old escaped before the father was able to shoot them and setting his house with the 2 of the dead bodies in it, last weekend.

I’ve probably now wrote at least a dozen blogs on trying to bring awareness on how to prevent domestic murder/suicides.

Again, it bears repeating, I’m NOT a clinically trained professional nor do I have any training in law enforcement or criminal psychology.

But this is what I do know:

Domestic violence has been around for a long time and it’s getting deadlier for a partner to end a relationship than it ever has been.

And even in relationships that domestic violence wasn’t a factor, more people are innocently are being killed, when a relationship ends, than ever before.

Both legal and illegal opioids have been around for a long time but more people are dying due to overdoses and as innocent parties to opioid addiction and abuse because of a loved one’s opioid addiction.

In this instance, it wasn’t released of whether or not that man was legally able to have a firearm.

And in the nature of how he ambushed his family, he still had the rage and kerosene to set his house on fire.

I’m not saying that I don’t believe in some issues regarding gun control.

Because I definitely do.

It’s not that I don’t feel any different with regulating opiates.

As I definitely do about that, as well.

The thing is though, if we don’t find a way for people whether it’s starting when people are young to find a way to constructively work through anger and rage, when feeling rejection, even if we could eradicate both guns and drugs, people would still die from addiction issues and be murdered in a different manner other than with a firearm, because others can’t appropriately process rage and rejection, the addiction in some of these cases, just adds another complication and/or higher risk of escalation of violence and increased risk for fatalities.

If people aren’t afraid of going to prison, due to being violent or possessing or abusing drugs, don’t have the respect for the sanctity of life, either for themselves or someone they are supposed to love, where their rage of a partner’s rejection outweighs them rationally knowing that their loved ones have a right to their lives and peace of mind, an order of protections don’t mean anything, if it’s applicable.

And in a lot of recent cases, orders of protections weren’t applicable.

Because, people who had no criminal history, have killed their families, loved ones, friends and/or peers and then lots of times, themselves when a relationship ends or feeling some kind of rejection romantically or platonically.

Or when feeling rejected in school, their workplaces or their houses of worship.

More initiatives are needed to try and prevent these horrific tragedies.

And they are needed NOW.

And starting these kind of initiatives, when people are young and being constructively educated, lifelong.

Note: I will NOT publish anything that’s not constructive. Thanks….

An Open Letter to #CNN

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Dear CNN,

As a medically, mentally and cognitively disabled activist, who blogs about mental health issues, especially suicide prevention,  I commend what you’ve done in the last 4 days in trying to make an effort to raise awareness about suicide prevention, as well as I’m saddened and concerned as far as as the issue of suicide contagion, which you’re also discussing.

So many outlets now, in addition to CNN are starting to talk about suicide prevention initiatives without stigma and that’s commendable, too.

Your organization in the last 20+ hours, did a beyond commendable  job in trying to help with suicide prevention, even prior to the passing of Anthony Bourdain, yesterday,  in where you had mental health professionals who discussed openly without stigma on raising suicide awareness prevention, the day before he died.

In addition to that, while trying to provide a safe and supportive  place for not only your employees who are grieving the loss of a beloved co-worker, who was beloved by so many, including anyone who’s life was touched by Anthony Bourdain, even if they may not ever had the privilege to have met him but still felt they knew him, as well as trying to support his grief stricken friends, many who were also established and well respected people who are also famous, by giving them a safe and supportive safe place to talk about their heartbreaking loss.

The one thing I’ve tried to do in my activism, that I do by blogging, is also trying to support families, especially children, who lose a parent, if not parents by suicide.

I also know this, because I was a mother, where almost 10 years ago, I did try to commit suicide.

So I try to remove stigma both personally and as an activist but lack the credentialling that is needed, because I’m not a clinically trained professional and in my case, while I hope to help save lives with honest talk about suicide for those need it or for those who lost loved ones from it, I don’t want to be well known.

But it’s more terrifying for me to think that so many grieving families aren’t as supported as they could be, so it’s worth the risk to potentially lose my privacy and/or anonymity in public.
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And while I love my children more than anything, and in my case I was in both medical and mental health crisis and I didn’t love myself and I thought everyone was better off without me, which when talking so open and honestly has helped others.

And while I’m not trying to make this about me, I only do what I do to help others learn from it and for hopefully to reduce the chances of  what happened to those I love the most, it wasn’t in vain and it has helped other people.

The point I’m trying to make, is with your reach and access to resources, I do hope you in the coming days, address with clinically trained professionals on how we can best support children who’ve lost their parents or other people who’ve lost parents, spouses and other loved ones.

If this was something you planned on doing, I apologize in advance, as well as I hope other media outlets, in addition to now supporting and educating on suicide prevention, will also discuss on how we can support families but in with special regards to children, who are beyond devasted and can’t comprehend that the loss of their parent this way, in absolutely NO way, reflects the abundance of love of those who they leave behind but they can’t understand without more support services and without our society destigmatizing suicide and other mental health issues that are fatal to people.

As well as reduce the risk that for some families, sadly this can become a history that tragically sometimes repeats itself, if not comprehensively addressed with professional guidelines, we’ve already seen that in the past, with some celebrity suicides.

So hopefully you will choose or already have planned on having mental health professionals discuss on your network, of  how to support families and friends  that have to go through these tragedies, and by doing  this will start a desperately needed dialogue that has to go hand in hand with suicide prevention initiatives.

Respectfully, Lisa

An Open Letter to Val Kilmer…

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Yo Val,

I usually live my life, according to quote, pictured above.

I felt bad when I heard you had throat cancer.

And I’m happy for you, that you’re in remission.

I’ve never talked about you or thought over the years, cause I have kind of an actual personal reason to dislike you, that extends beyond the fact you were like the fucking WORST Batman, like ever.

Instead of trying to make comments regarding a certain celebrity, who just sadly passed on Friday, June 8th, 2018, that DOES NOT help anyone, just PLEASE shut the fuck up, ok?

And ya wanna know why I know you can be a complete asshole???

23 years ago, I used to work for a company that was subcontracted by BA, where we managed their frequent flyer program.

And so 23 years ago, I went to work, UNPAID and off the clock, cause you were making your personal assistant, absolutely MISERABLE, over a few thousand frequent flyer miles, that YOU failed to properly claim.

So instead of disrespecting someone who just died and their loved ones, friends and fans, maybe just worry about not being a dick to people in your own circle, OK?

You wanna help people???

Maybe try doing activism for throat cancer prevention.

But with like Batman movies AND suicide prevention, you kinda suck at it.

So fucking knock it off, OK?

Respectfully, ME and 90% of the universe…

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