It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘social media sociopathy’ Category

To want to be or NOT to want to be famous, that can be the questions… BUT what is the right answers, in the digital era???

https://kstp.com/news/big-lake-chief-police-says-resident-wrongfully-shamed-after-facebook-post/5533608/?cat=1

Important Disclaimers: Because the topic at hand, could be a life or death situation for someone, as evidenced in You Tube link and bullying in the link above that, it bears repeating, I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health provider, nor am I trained in matters of law or public safety.

If you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves, hurting others or being targeted that could cause harm, please seek immediate appropriate professional assistance.

Thanks…

***

While I have written other blogs, as a non fame seeking non monetized blogger/activist,  on the dangers of social media, I’ve never blogged about these topics, specifically.

That is both for those of us who wish to remain anonymous and/or private in our online/offline lives.

And those who seek to become famous (either with or without wanting to  become or being rich), and having a cautionary tale of what they didn’t want to become famous for.

I’ll  first address the right to be anonymous in our offline private lives, as that’s something I’ve wanted to address forever in this blog, and was reminded of why it’s NEVER been so NEEDED, like it is now.

The top link highlights a local man, who was accused on social media of doing something creepy and being a “creeper” when he pulled over to call a family member for directions.

It’s hard for me to judge the person who made him famous, she honestly thought she was protecting children from a possible pedophile by posting a picture of his car, which identified him as long standing kind and upright citizen, to both the police and his local community.

Even if there was no malice, damage has been done, can’t be taken back.

Truthfully, that man handled it better than I think I could be capable of handling that kind of situation, as it would emotionally break me (and unfortunately I would be really depressed,  unfortunately it needs to be said, as someone with non violent mental health disabilities, I wouldn’t go all Rambo on anyone) and I’d be devastated.

And here’s hoping I’ll and others like me, whether someone is social or an introvert, is never made either famous or infamous against their will, when doing nothing wrong, just going about living their life, won’t ever find out like that man did, of what it’s like to be made infamous, for doing nothing wrong.

That is something that’s not talked about in our society, in this era.

People have to stop assuming that if they want something badly like fame, others want it badly, that EVERYONE must want it.

That’s just simply NOT true.

I’m in NO way saying wanting to be famous is something to be ashamed of.

But somehow, this has all been lost in the digital era of what the dire consequences could possibly be even innocently, making someone well known against their wishes and their will.

We know it causes fatal depression, sometimes homicide, when making someone famous or infamous, when there’s no reason to, with malicious intent.

I don’t look look good at all these days, in a photo.

And I honestly couldn’t care less about how I look, as it applies to me, whether in public and or in private.

I probably care more so, that some, quite a few, will judge me on it.

But judging or assuming I might behave a certain way, in a very unbecoming way, because I at this point, don’t care what others think of me, I do care that others might judge harshly for those of us, where what we look like, is troublesome to others and it hurts them, bothers me.

It bothers and haunts me, A LOT.

It took a long time for me to accept, I’m not ever going to be considered attractive.

I will NEVER accept, that it’s okay for others to judge me and others like me and try to socially, if not financially benefit by putting myself or others like me, with putting images without consent, when going on with our lives, for the social crime of being unattractive to another, when it really doesn’t adversely effect anyone, for their own personal or professional gain.

This era is TOXIC because of that pervasive damaging mindset.

As far as addressing those who want to become famous, have something go viral, while the video link above, addresses that, I’ll just add a few things and it will be clearer why both the right to be anonymous and the dangerous of wanting or becoming famous, in the same blog, needed to be said.

As wanting to be famous, is someone’s right to do.

The problem is and it’s always been an issue, prior to the digital era, is that one doesn’t usually just take themselves down that path to fame and/or the consequences of not handling fame and it ruins their life, if not ends up ending their life and possibly innocent others who didn’t ask to become famous.

Again, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be famous, just like there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive and feel and look one’s best.

But, we all need a reminder, what’s good for one, isn’t good for everyone.

What we put or don’t put in our psyches is equally important as what we put or don’t put in our bodies.

And that the consequences can be grave, if one doesn’t consider what, why and who they shoot/post with or on a digital device, could be equally life ruining, if not life taking, as if they shot at someone with an actual gun.

If there isn’t a legal remedy to making a person who wishes to be private, infamous, for doing nothing wrong, there can and should be a moral and ethical remedy and responsibility felt by people vowing to not to do any harm to themselves or any other when using their digital devices.

Important Note: Anything that isn’t constructive won’t  be posted.

#DepravedIndifferenceInTheDigitalEra

ec0d7e7896e4072af88f557b112e3dea

Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical, mental health or in public safety professional. I’m just a concerned medical and mental health and violent crime prevention activist and blogger, at times.

A lot lately.

And for awhile now.

If you or someone you know, is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services (i.e. 911 if you’re in the United States) and other important crisis resources will be at the end of this blog.

***

With a title like this, I guess I need to make some clarifications, right from the start.

I’ve been around for almost a half of a century, now .

I know that people have been hateful and harmful from the beginning of time, let alone before computers, internet and smart phone eras.

But now so many people are being irrevocably mentally and medically harmed, if not having their lives violently taken from them.

Where no place is sacred, such as a school, a place of worship, a hospital, a government center, a daycare or workplace and playgrounds, to name a few.

Where no one is spared, whether they be a baby, child, teenager adult to elderly.

Regardless of political preferences, gender, sexual orientation/identification, religion, race, race and socioeconomics.

And  people from all walks of life, have the potential that they fufill ,to be predators, perpetrators of hateful actions and vile crimes (well not babies or very young children) and to be victims.

This is what I’m deciding to mainly focus on, going forward as an activist…

That the serious discussions that need to take place, that I’m a part of, as far as making an attempt to be a part of the discussion to make aware, that people are losing the ability to realize and respect the sanctity of human life.

That everyone should have a life that is free from physiological and psychological harm.

That we start instilling this in the young.

And have safety nets in place lifelong for human being the evaluation and treatment of people in crisis.

And that we as a society if we’re going to survive, let alone thrive, have to figure out how to respectfully agree to disagree.

That rejection, if it or anything else that leads to rage, people can get help so they don’t continue to harm and kill innocent people.

That they don’t continue to irrovacably interfere with another’s right to peace of mind.

It needs to be said, in an era, where there is so many murder/suicides and just such an increase in violent crime, as well as the increase in severe emotional abuse and bullying, that even the people without a history, even if they started out and throughout their life, that doesn’t mean much, if they end their own lives and others, violently.

Or they in secret or quite publically hate and shame on a population of people, whether it be online or offline.

I DO NOT  believe that everyone can love everyone.

But it needs to change  where people realize how much it can harm, if they ONLY  have compassion for people who they care about and who are similarly like minded.

In that case apathy is a lot better than contempt or hate.

And if nothing else, if one can’t be a part of the solution, please don’t be a part of the problem.

Because some people just for no reason are predispotioned to depravity.

And then there are others where for multiple reasons, their depravity is circumstantial.

But no less damaging, if not deadly.

Note: I hope this will lead to necessary discussions about having multiple initiatives in hopes to help humankind.

Any response that is hateful or not constructive to this topic will NOT be published.

http://www.befrienders.org

267c2f40ab4409c6f5d1bf4f038904d4

 

An Open Letter to #AsiaArgento…

13b57c026cf18964fb2c030ac558c0fb
Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: I discuss in this blog with some profanity, rape in both genders, as well as victims come in all genders, colors and because I have a major personal reason to discuss it, all shapes and sizes.

PLEASE don’t read if any of the above is a trigger and please ask for clarification before making an assumption. Thanks!!!

And as always, if you or someone you know is in medical or mental health crisis, please seek immediate professional help.

***

Dear Asia (and the few million people who definitely share the same attitudes),

I’m honestly not picking on you!!!

My heart hurts for you in what has to really a fucking shitty AWFUL 18 months for you.

I’m a disabled medical and mental health activist in regards body shaming (of every size) and suicide, who doesn’t like social media and I value  my privacy.

In 1996, TWO major things happened to me that I talk about, the first only recently, the second, a little more and both because of the paragraph above, NO ONE believes me.

In January of 1996, I was date raped. Well, more like I was supposed to go on a blind date,  meeting at his very nice apartment building,  with the plans that we would go out to lunch and in being naive when he, who seemed to be a nice and nice looking U.S. Army official wanted to show me his new Natuzzi sectional, ended up quietly, violently and quite humiliatingly got raped, orally, vaginally and anally.

Of course not on the expensive sectional which he wouldn’t want to mess up, but on his living room floor.

What he said was if I gave him what he wanted, he wouldn’t hurt me.

That was only partially true, because he violated me, where NO ONE could see it.

I was a 26 year old fat, single not considered attractive full time employed loving single mom of 1, I just wanted to get get out of it in one piece, so I could get back to get my 3 1/2 year old  son and continue on with my life.

In June of 1996, I had a business trip that I had to go to London. On my flight from O’Hare to Heathrow, I fucking shit you and everyone else NOT, Princess Diana was on my British Airways flight!!!

My one and only business trip, I pretty much told anyone and everyone about.

I told less than a handful of people about my rape until a few years ago when I became and activist of sorts and a blogger.

About 5 years after my rape, being sick of being verbally bullied my entire life, I decided to have bariatric surgery (and that’s a WHOLE other entire story that I’m not going to get into now) and while some great things did originally and initally happen, it didn’t have anything resembling a  happy ending .

Other than to say and it’s kind of important, that I got skinny shamed instead of fat shamed for a couple years and I hated (and still hate fat and thin shaming)  both equally.

And because of the mindfuck of that and having serious complications from that surgery, exactly (well as of 9 days ago ) I gave up custody of my kids to my parents (by then I was a single mom of 2) and tried to commit suicide, 10 years ago.

And while I had no previous extensive psych history prior to my attempt and my first psych hospitalization 2 1/2 weeks prior to my one and only attempt and nearly got institutionalized for it.

When I decided that what I went through and my children went through, shouldn’t be in vain (as I was a neglectful mother the last 2 years I had my children), I launched this non monetized blog of mine, exactly 5 years from the anniversary of my suicide attempt.

So unfortunately, I know all to well from victim shaming, from parental suicide, suicide and mental health shaming and body shaming.

This is what I’m hoping to appeal to you for and I don’t know any other way to do it, even though I cherish and need my privacy.

Words and actions, lack of actions, MATTER.

Unfortunately, while what I think what Harvey Weinstein did is despicable, everytime people allude to the fact that he was/is a  big, fat and ugly monster, they perpetuate horribly wrongly,  that only unattractive people are perps and that they could NEVER be victims.

And that can kind of horribly feed into the horribly damaging myth, that rape is  a crime of passion, because it’s NOT,  it’s a horrific crime of where its intent is  to do horrific humiliating horrible physical and emotional damage to another human being.

While both are extremely painful for me and others like me, who don’t have a voice, hence why I blog, it’s a million times easier for me to talk about my suicide attempt and nearly getting committed,  than it is for me to talk about my rape.

I know that hurt people hurt people, so I’m trying to say this to you or anyone it could apply in the least judgemental way, as possible.

Because, for #MeToo for it fufill it’s mission, it HAS to be inclusive of all human beings who are victims/survivors.

Otherwise, it’s at risk of people who don’t have a voice, still at risk, due to not getting support, let alone, not being believed.

 

If you don’t believe me, use a search engine and try a find a meme using the words: fat women rape.

Or that it’s made to be a horribly unfunny joke and/or unfunny stereotype when a man not of the age of consent, is raped by an older powerful attractive  female.

It’s horrific of what’s out there and the after effects of rape  trauma can have the effect of victims ending up with eating disorders on opposite sides of the spectrum but not as far apart, as people think when it comes to  Anorexia to Super Morbid Obesity, as well as being at risk for addiction issues and  sometimes heartbreakingly it leads to suicidality.

For a multitude of reasons.

There has to be a better way to talk about predators,  without potentially shaming people who are victims/survivors where the only thing they share is a body type or an attractiveness classification, that’s what I’m trying to get across.

And while you have made great strides with #MeToo, if victims end up perpetuating the same crime or a different one, their voices and stories (the victims, if they are able to speak about it) need to be told as well.

Otherwise we don’t have a prayer of ending the vicious rampant cycles of rape, violent physical assault and sometimes homicide, sometimes suicide, sometimes murder/suicide regardless of genders, socio-economics, age, race, religion, sexual preference, sexual identification and species (as a dog was raped in Los Angeles several days ago).

I could go on and on, but I’m sure no one really wants me to and I certainly don’t.

Thanks for your (and anyone’s elses)  time and patience in reading this.

Respectfully, Lisa

Note: As always, but especially due to the sensitivity in nature of topics discussed, any comments that could be triggering to any of my readers, will NOT be published.

Permanently Divisable???

01-Kindness-Quotes-to-Remind-You-to-Be-Nice-233350501-MSSA-1-1024x683

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.

While I’d rather be writing about that, in a broader sense, then again of  how drastically people are becoming so disconnected, distracted, damaging , if not dangerous, drastically, because of social media addiction and social media sociopathy.

I’m not saying ALL people on social media or those who are on it constantly have that problem.

But SO many DO.

And while I’ve made a small mark on the internet both personally and as an activist to make sure the things that I’ve done that were bad or crisies not with the realm of my control, were a learning lesson that people could learn from and not have to make some of the same horrible mistakes or gone through the same heartbreaking things that I have.

But I own what’s bad about me, stopping short of tattooing a warning label on my head about myself.

I keep to myself a lot, now.

For many reasons, many I’ve discussed in this blog this year.

While I get though that some of us with diagnosed mental health issues, have dysfunctional or abnormal thought processes,  most ARE NOT dangerous or damaging to others, if not ourselves.

And I’m REALLY sick of having to say that, over and over again.

And it’s disheartening to keep hearing  people online and offline of how casually they  throw the word “crazy’ around.

Like all people with diagnosed mental health issues are a ticking time bomb full of racist xenophobes who could commit violent acts of crimes, at any time, to any population of innocent people,  that’s if we don’t die alone from our addictions, first.

The truth is, most of us who have diagnosed mental health issues and know it, could never hurt anyone or those of us who have, it wasn’t permanent, intentional or with malice.

The truth is, someone like me, where I now literally stick out like a sore infected thumb externally because of my appearance, if I had it in me to put more effort in what I look like, most people, just by what I say, either online or in person, wouldn’t NOT know have any invisible disabilities if I didn’t talk about my private life.

I get away with it, ONLY and now,  because I’m not addicted to social media or a smartphone.

I find that TERRIFYING in dealing with others, now.

I have long term and short term memory issues, I have unmedicated Bipolar 2 disorder and no filter, most of the time.

But I still manage to be able to on occasion, when I am able to get out, to have an open minded conversation and connect with people, both superficially and meaningfully with people I have absolutely NOTHING in common at all, on ANY level.

It’s not like you really get any meaningful lasting  emotional reward for trying to change people into being more like minded like oneself, when there is no harm to oneself or others, for thinking or believing differently.

In other times, where people could find common ground and have a “agree to disagree” stance, most don’t have that skill set, any longer.

And most people don’t get, you can care about people, but not get lonely, especially nowadays where people, sometimes at best with not good intentions, but even with no malice but still “frenemy” in nature, , with those they don’t care about and even with those who they do care about you, but for the wrong reasons, if one is open about themselves, one’s vulnerabilities either use to hurt them, get satisfaction out of their heartache  and at worst, kill them.

Because saying whatever you think, at the exact moment you think it and what you look like saying it and when a lot of what’s being said is toxic to at least a population, is NOW normalized because of using social media for anti-social reasons and some people are unable to recognize those traits in themselves, even if they are fully functional people in so many aspects of their lives.

Or they know they are spreading vitroilic rhetoric but don’t care.

And it’s really hard to escape that kind of toxicity and hatred, even for people like me, who are self isolating and are rarely on social media.

As well as the damage that is being caused to humans on a cognitive level due to social media addiction, as well as physically.

I just hope we can find the good again in people and at best be apathetic to what we don’t agree on, wherever we meet them and just not bother with people that we may not have any common ground with.

And STOP throwing out the word “crazy” with stigma, just because you don’t agree with someone.

Even if they’re being a jerk at best or hateful person at worst.

As that MOST  of the time is a character defect, not a mental health one.

Even though all people have mental health issues at one time or another, in different degrees.

And it doesn’t help anyone for to meanly or hatefully point out that some of us metaphorically, are shacks with a fire ant infestation, who just want to be left alone or live their lives in peace or without prejudice, when those who recreationally or hatefully calling others out are mansions built on a toxic waste dump sites.

Let’s just concentrate for our sake on what we have in common with KINDNESS, before people permanently divide from almost EVERYONE, as NO any  two people, let alone a large group of people  have a completely shared beliefs and thoughts, in and about EVERYTHING and EVERYONE.

Note: I will NOT publish anything that’s not constructive. I’m all for lively dialogue, I’m just saying stop stigmatizing all bad behavior as mental illness and stop hating on one another for recreation and promoting an atmosphere where those who do have deadly rage due to rage and rejection, are more prone act on it, in the social media era. Thanks!!!

Tag Cloud