It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘mental stability’ Category

Thoughts and prayers don’t prevent non gun violence, either….

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor trained in law enforcement or public safety.

If you or anyone you know, is a danger to yourself or others, please contact emergency services.

I didn’t bother watching much of the news nationally, today.

It was a heartbreaking day, locally.

First that hit the news, was a 24 year old man, pushed or threw (investigation being ongoing, there’s not much information being released, yet)  a 5 year old boy he didn’t know from the 3rd floor to the first floor at Mall of America, where the child is reported to be in critical condition.

In greater Minnesota, a 36 year old father set fire to his house today, killing his 2 youngest children who were toddlers, his other 2 children who were 9 and 7 are in the hospital and the father is in critical condition.

I’m just going to concentrate on today’s events here locally regarding children that were murdered  by family or an attempted murder by a stranger.

We need more initiatives that can help people realize that everyone, regardless of age has a right to a peaceful and violence free life.

These 2 isolated incidents had 5 victims, 2 of them dead, all under the age of 10 years old.

I keep internally debating on whether or not that empathy for others who are different can be taught, that people who have severe mental illness diagnosed or not can have more initiatives in place for education on how important the sanctity of life is and if people can’t see that for themselves, that they do not infringe in any way in everyone’s right to have a healthy peaceful life without all this violence that is now happening on a daily basis, locally, nationally and around the world.

The victims, their families (although truthfully I’m not praying for that father), friends and communities, are in my thoughts and prayers.

With my own disabilities, I can’t do more than bring awareness of the urgent need for more resources and initiatives in place.

And the urgent need for people to check in one another, as well as having more initiatives and if one feels that they are in danger of hurting themselves and others, that they get the help they need for themselves and/or others, so that more of these tragedies can be prevented.

Editorial Note: Blog published while it’s still April 12th, 2019 here in Minnesota.

The BEST things to ever happen to me…

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Disclaimers: There aren’t any or many, given the fact that this blog is personal and it’s meant to concentrate on what’s the best things about our lives. I might put restrictions at the end, only because I’m not going to be “babysitting” my Facebook and Twitter accounts, as I’m not on social media very much and don’t plan on going on either of those accounts, anytime soon. Thanks.

I’m trying to feel a little more positive about things, as of late. It’s kind of a struggle because I don’t feel the greatest and am kinda reclusive, while I can use the internet in a positive way, personally, I’d thought I’d try to extend that kind of positivity, in my own blog, where I do such serious life and death type of activism.

I’ve been trying to achieve that, by looking at the best things that ever happened to me and my best traits and concentrating on them, as of late, as well as of best things about people I admire versus the sucky mindset we can get into, if one is scared of a lot of things, that aren’t in the realm of their control, that sometimes we have to let that go, so we aren’t in a chronic panic anxiety state.

Here are the BEST things to happen to me, broken by year and event, in the last 3 decades for me:

1992- Zachary was born

1996- Going to London, as a poor single Mom on business with Princess Diana being on the flight.

2003- Zoe was born (and turns 15 in 2 1/2 weeks!!!)

2005- The hope I had as a single Mom of 2 amazing kids who was going to be a small business owner (I can use that as a good thing, even though my life didn’t turned out that way, because I remember I still had hope and was working hard to achieve a dream).

2011- Met my boyfriend who’s my best friend, who’s patient with having a girlfriend with medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities

2015- Going to Las Vegas, all by myself. Getting from McCarran International to the strip by bus and walking everywhere in between in the desert, with my current disability sets (which are now worse). Negotiating a decent hotel room rate and staying in a cool hotel (which trip is highlighted in a past blogs) like the Stratosphere, where I had a Jacuzzi tub and an amazing view from the 22nd floor.

2018-??? It’s gotta be something, cause while I can take pride in that I’m still an activist, from a “seize the day, even it’s only a DAY’ recluse point of view (will never be a YOLO chick, um just not me) have to do something.

Best skill sets I’ve had in the last 3 decades:

1988 to 2006: Could get decent jobs and had great interviewing skills. Never lived in fear while I was a functional mother, was in awe and grateful for the experience. Was a good friend. And was good at my jobs that I had and I would’ve been great at the business I wanted to start, had I not been so blindsided by circumstances that were not in my control.

2008-2011: A self awareness that I could survive a lot of bad things and circumstances and still have the decency to try to help people, even as minimally as it was, the best I could, which was very limited.

2011-2018: See directly above but add that I didn’t go through the bad stuff in vain, given my limitations, that it would be used to serve a greater good to people, in whatever way I could help, even being as limited as I am.

Knowing how to give a sincere compliment, genuine apology and constructive but kind feedback and insight. Still possessing a desire to help those who don’t have a voice and advocate on their behalf. Having the ability to engage in an intelligent conversation, debate or argument. Having gratitude for the smallest of good things and blessings.

1969-2018: Never taking anything or anyone that’s good for granted. Finding good things in trying adversity. even if it’s the little stuff.

SO,  between concentrating on the above, reading Mr. Rogers and Oprah quotes and trying to see those who overcame great odds and did good with their lives, is helping me try to not be as pessimistic, even though I’m kind of always going to be of “partly cloudy” at best, in personality.

So that’s mine. What are your best things in your life and your best skill sets???

Note: I have social media ties or know a bazillion wls peeps. Like seriously, A bazillion.

AND YES, I’d prefer you didn’t use a bariatric and/or reconstructive surgery as one of the best things that happened to you. That would count for not just wls but any surgery, unless someone’s sight was restored with corneal implants, or something extremely unusual.

I’m not trying to be mean, and I’m not short sighted, see my year “2005”.

You climbed Mt. Everest post rny gastric bypass???

Great, would love to hear about it. The fact you just had any weight loss surgery, you’re going to have to try harder, it’s for your own good, OK?

Thanks!!!

What are you DOING when NO ONE is looking???

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Disclaimers: While this blog is both a combination personal blog, as well as to achieve some activism type of goals, when it comes to medical, mental health and public safety, I will ALWAYS implore people, when in crisis, to seek clinically trained professional help if they are or they suspect someone else is in crisis, immediately and or call 911 (because 1/2 my readers are outside of the U.S./North America, and/or Emergency Services in one’s country of residence). Thanks.

OR, may I ask, with NO expection of an answer to me, what are you actually THINKING, when NO ONE else is looking?

Because it matters.

A LOT.

In my case,  and it will be also a topic for another blog, as far as it applies to social media and my loathing and fear of social media.

In my case, what I do and what I think, is usually done in the privacy of my own home.

My blogs from the last month, whether they talked about people in crisis of all different types, where most of my blogs were concentrated on those who’s thinking and actions, lead to fatalities, in innocent others.

Also a few of my blogs of last month, were in regards to Superbowl 52, which was exactly a month ago, that occured 4 1/2 blocks from where I live.

It feels like both yesterday and 100 years ago, that Superbowl 52, took place, which I didn’t care for, because I was afraid of something bad happening and I don’t like being in the spotlight in any way or any kind of attention, which meant for the 2 weeks around Superbowl Sunday, I became super reclusive, even for me, in the era of smartphone cameras, as well as global networks being in my neighborhood.

As well as the tragic massacre in Parkland, Florida that happened, 10 days later.

Unfortunately, but so gratefully, I’m lucky that if I don’t feel well, I don’t have to do anything.

And when I feel my worst medically and mentally, not only do I have to not  do anything, just try to deal with my medical and emotional pain, I don’t do anything else, even though that my medical and mental emotional pain is only a hindrance to myself, even though I usually respond to various help queries, everyday.

I realize that most people, don’t have the luxury of both time and privacy, that I have.

The last major BEST decision though, I made for myself, is to disengage, as much as possible,  from social media.

Without quitting it completely.

And in my case, I’ve never felt that I’m in competition with ANYONE, which I think social media drives.

But in my case, social media, for how I used it, would be a really bad and sad reminder of my failures compared to my FORMER self, which is the only competition I put on myself and fail miserably,  of how functional and productive I used to be, prior to the last 11-12 years of my life, which is now a quarter of my life, now that I’m 48 years old.

Most people, the few of them that I encounter, are  kind of surprised of what I’ve chosen to do with this little life that I have.

Lots of times, I don’t feel well enough to go anywhere or do much, but possess a strange skill set and a desire to help people in medical and/or mental health crisis (with the urging they have to be under the care of clinically trained professionals, which I’m not) and that I’m kinda good at it, with obvious boundaries for myself and others, for what I’m willing and capable of doing, in the areas I do activism for, and where I help people when they email me for help.

It takes a lot of unnecessary pressure off, when people focus to do things, with an absence of social media, either to NOT  be motivated by it, in attempts to NOT  be an influencer and to NOTto have it as a default distraction.

Even if someone makes a living off of social media, no one needs to make their complete lives on it.

When I tell other clinical professionals who I don’t know, in the medical and/or mental health realm what I do or ask what I can do better when I run across them, in my advocacy, I do find that most of the time, my inability to be influenced by social media and/or let anyone influence me, in any way, that what I don’t do or do and/or what I do say and or don’t say, is driven soley by myself, they find the most challenging thing in dealing with me.

WHY, though???

I’m hardly an admirable person, by any account.

I’m not looking to be, nor am I someone to be looked up to.

But I’m not someone to be feared, either.

I know how my disabilities can be of a negative effect on me and/or when provoked, makes me mean to others, which is all I’m capable of.

I’ve made some AWFUL decisions, which I still can do stupid things on occasion but am honest, but I also I make a lot of good ones, in hoping to do the right thing.

When NO ONE is looking.

I don’t understand though, as I don’t judge others who find that the various social media platforms, DO  have a strong influence on how they conduct their lives.

It just DOES NOT for me.

It can’t.

I came into having medical, mental health and cognitive defects by various complex organic, circumstancial and environmental reasons.

I don’t need and it would be a disaster for me and I do believe it does hinder other’s health and wellbeing, being so emotionally, mentally and cognitively dependent on all the things that go along with having a social media and technology driven society, now a days.

It’s not like we can go back in time and change the technologies outcomes both good and bad.

But it’s not too late, to make more of what’s on social media, that does a greater good for people, that doesn’t effect desired financial outcomes, which not all of it is bad, other than the intentional addiction seeking behavior of some technical products and services.

But these are the following the questions, that people have to ask themselves, given the fact that even people, who have done so much good in their lives, are ending their lives and others lives, both intentionally and maliciously or not,  or they interfere in multiple ways, for others right to the sanctity of life, with peace of mind, in the worst ways possible.

So here it goes:

What are you doing and thinking, that could be hurtful to oneself or others, that might have a foundation in a social media driven society and what can you do, to make it less harmful for yourselves and other people?

Can you ask for genuine help and get it, from clinical medical health and mental professionals, as well as families and/or peers when in distress or crisis?

And if you can’t or choose NOT to get any kind of help, how does that adversely and/or can you positively change the outcome of your own thought processes so it doesn’t lead to negative action on oneself or another, all the time, some of the time and on rare occasions?

Asking and knowing why, it makes the difference of why it matters, of the dependence in thinking of others knowing what you say, do and what you look like when you do them, due to our social media driven society and knowing what’s good about it and what is even unintentionally harmful to self or others, in this day and age.

There is NO ego with this blog.

I’m the first one to admit, I have way more questions than valid helpful answers, in trying to help those in crisis, not hurt themselves or others.

All I’m trying to do with my own disabilities, bad choices and my own flaws and as well as the few strengths that I have, is to help myself and to help others, in things that matter the most, in what I’m able to so little but try to contribute somehow, positively.

No one has to answer the above questions out loud, to me or another, unless someone is a danger to themselves or others, which will require acute professional help.

But the questions asked above are worthy of asking yourself and evaluating, of how, what, where and why, you think of  yourself and others, when they’re not looking, in good ways and bad.

Or the when and why, you’re actually driven to make or want  them to look at what you’re doing and saying and how you look, when you’re doing that.

Note: I’m all for constructive feedback, which can be a difference of opinion, as long as it’s shared respectfully. Thanks!!!

Just HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE are going to have to die, this way???

 

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Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically and/or credentially trained professional in medical or mental health or in law enforcement.

IF someone you know, is in crisis, please seek immediate help right away, by contacting 911.

I just managed to catch an article on People.com, a few minutes ago.

Sadly, a young mother, who volunteered in her church, who had a Masters in Social Work, was shot to death on Friday, in St. Louis.

Well, let me elaborate more on this, the little information that’s out there.

She shot herself to death, after shooting to death, her husband and 3 month old baby, in a horrific tragedy that’s being blamed on her having postpartum depression.

But before I go any further, and again, I’m NOT a clinically trained professional of any kind, there needs to be a clarification between Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Psychosis, which I’d think her circumstances, would fall in line with  the latter that gets less attention, due to stigma, as far as the sufferers getting help for it.

There’s no laying blame in the shooter in this horrific tragedy, in this blog.

Other than, that there are so many domestic murder/suicides, I just don’t know why there isn’t more initiatives in place for rehabilitation and prevention.

This is a horrific topic that I’m sure my readers are sick of me, blogging about.

But sadly, it’s something that I can’t NOT keep talking about, NOR can any of us become numb or apathetic, just because we might not know anyone who’s died from a domestic homicide/suicide.

YET.

However, at the rate these horrific tragedies are occuring, they’re going to become more common, until major initiatives for prevention, evaluation and rehabilitation are in place.

It won’t stop until the stigma is removed and people can get help, without worrying about legal consequences, should they seek help, before they hurt someone else.

This is something we can’t wait any longer to have a national, if not global dialogue about and more initiatives in place.

Because this isn’t getting better, due to the deep stigmatization that’s in place, for parents who murder their children, regardless of gender, such as in this case and in other cases.

While it’s always a horrific tragedy, it’s even more so, when people who seem to have resources to get help, can’t do so, because of the stigma or because they are so mentally impaired, that they at least in this case, where I’m going to hypothesize, even while I’m only a non clinically trained activist, sometimes in drastic cases, such as this one, I’m thinking they might temporarily lose all touch with reality, with permanent, irrevocable and catastrophic outcomes, such as in this case, with someone who DID have a formal education on how to help people in crisis, but was incapable of helping herself, let alone those who she may have loved the most, but then committed such a horrific tragedy.

IF,  I had the means, which unfortunately, I don’t, as a disabled activist, I’d start a major initiative, in hopes of trying to  prevent these horrific tragedies from happening over and over again.

BUT, I AM capable of starting an urgently needed dialogue, that can hopefully result in more  initiatives being created,  to try and reduce this from happening, almost now on a daily basis.

http://www.psychcentral.com/lib/telephone-hotlines-and-help-lines/
(parental depression hotline can be found in above link)

Note: PLEASE, I don’t mention NOT having a discussion on gun control, NOT  because I don’t believe in it, because I DO. The problem is, especially in this case, the woman who committed the murder/suicide, not only was she a vital and well regarded part of her community, and while in this circumstances, there isn’t a lot of information, yet available, about this horrific tragedy, from the way it looks, she could’ve passed the most stringent backround checks, not just for a firearm, but for a lot of things.

Not to mention in the last year, children and spouses/significant others have died from being thrown into rivers and set on fire, that’s why I’m highlighting the murders versus the means that children and adults have been killed by those who are supposed to love them.

I hope as a I said before, that the variety of reasons that play into domestic homicide and suicides do vary. In this case, I do think that for all the education that’s out there for new mothers, before a baby is born and after, that this NOW needs to be discussed without stigma.

Whether it be in society, prenatal classes, postnatal education both online and in offline venues, such as hospitals (postnatally or doctor’s offices)  and other places for education for parents of babies and children.

I mean people have to have a license to drive a car and are educated and evaluated for that, but there’s no extensive education required (but it’s out there, but just not in the capacity for parents in crisis, like it should be) to have a child, I’m not saying this judgmentally, just saying, we need more resources in place to protect both innocent children and people of all ages from emotional and physical harm, as well as death.

So that’s why, even with my normal disclaimers in place, it wouldn’t make a difference in this particular horrific and heartbreaking tragedy and that’s why I’m urging dialogues and initiatives.

Because it will save lives.

(additional/editorial note: I could’ve been clearer, websites and hotlines contained in both above and in body of this blog, in addition to being potentially helpful for those IN crisis, it could also help for OTHERS  to recognize warning signs before (even though sadly, sometimes they’re not there) and/or get help, after,  should tragedy strike.

I apologize for not being clearer)

PLEASE , if you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t comment. I welcome constructive feedback or if people know of more resources that are out there, to notify me, privately or in the comment section of this blog.

How MANY more people have to DIE, before we have MAJOR Mental Health initiatives in place?

It’s been a quiet weekend, on purpose.

For the type of activism that I do, for the sake of my well being, I don’t read the news very much, on weekends.

I just happened to check out People.com, about 10 minutes ago, when I saw the headline, that a young beautiful, brilliant and kind woman died, when another even younger person, a 12 year old child, tried to commit suicide, yesterday.

The 22 year old Maryland woman, her name was Marisa Harris, died in Virginia, yesterday, when a 12 year old boy jumped off an overpass and landed on her vehicle and the young boy is listed in critical condition with life threatening injuries.

Marisa, according the People.com and The Washington Post article, was getting her masters in clinical counseling, who loved working with children, at the time of her death.

Her heartbroken family could sadly see the irony in that.

I decided to write yet another blog, about this issue, because we can’t as a society become numb to this.

A young woman, who had already enriched so many people’s lives and could’ve saved countless  other people’s lives, was robbed at such a young age, of living life to the fullest because a young 12 year old boy, couldn’t see the value in his own life.

I wish there was more I could do, to not only bring attention to the seriousness and the acute need to have more comprehensive mental health initiatives funded by government, in schools (from the time children are young), to the workplace and in facilities and in the media, to help people from the time they are young, until they are very old.

To give all human beings, the opportunity to get help when in crisis, as well to try and  prevent traumas that can play into crisis and for evaluation, treatment and rehabilitation for any human being who’s at risk of taking their own life, as well as other lives.

My thoughts and prayers are with both the families and friends of Marisa Harris and with the young 12 year old boy, where I hope that he should survive, but I can’t even imagine what both families are now facing.

No one should have to know of that and none of us should wait any longer before advocating for more comprehensive awareness and treatment options for those who are at risk of their mental health issues being fatal to them or another person/people.

Rest In Peace, Marisa………………

Note: I didn’t think it was fitting, to put in the body of the blog, about the young father who was tragically killed, a few weeks ago, when teens through a rock on an overpass. I think it’s noteworthy, even though they are two separate tragedies.

One innocent person died as a result of a youth, not realizing the consequences of their actions, could hurt another person. The other was by teens that should’ve been old enough to know that their actions could result in a fatality, and just didn’t care what the potential consequences could be, in their victim.

Also note, due to the nature of THIS particular blog, I didn’t put my normal disclaimer of people seeking acute clinically trained help, when in an acute mental health crisis, as in this case, it wouldn’t have helped.

Editorial note/update: Blog was written and published on 10-29-2017.

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