It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for October, 2019

Oh My God!!! #JeffreeStar and #ShaneDawson who I LOVE are coming to MOA this Saturday at noon and WHY this non #beautykiller won’t be there!!!

OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD, OH MY GAWD….. (um… please don’t sue me, Shane)….

I’m honestly not throwing shade with above title of this blog.

I saw above video, about 40 minutes after Shane posted it, yesterday.

Even though I don’t want to be famous, I am a disheveled looking non wearing makeup disabled obese recluse who HATES social media like Facebook, Insta, Twitter, Snap etc.

But I do love me some You Tube.

And I fucking REALLY  love Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson and to be fair, Trisha Paytas, which is how I found Jeffree and Shane on there.

While the activist part of me, loves trying to understand the psyche of those who try or those who actually find fame and fortune on social media.

Having that fascination, in addition to needing a outlet being a serious life and death poor non monetized blogger activist serves me well and where other influencers and the topic of beauty comes up that doesn’t serve others well, will be a topic for ANOTHER blog.

In the 27 years as a local, that Mall of America has been around, I’ve been there to meet a somewhat famous person, ONCE.

That was Mother’s Day weekend in 2014, to thank Laura Sobiech during her book signing regarding her son Zach Sobiech’s life and death and how they inspired me as an activist, which I blogged about and also still raise money on occasion for The Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund at CCRF.

As a non monetized blogger, I’m not writing this blog for an attention grab.

It’s literally one of my worst nightmares to think of becoming or going fucking viral, it’s fucking traumatizing these days to think of taking a selfie and posting it on social media, which I manage to do like quarterly, on Facebook.

It’s not that I wouldn’t mind being rich, I’d LOVE that.

My personality, however, though is not conducive to being or becoming famous.

I think that’s what is part of the appeal with me, given the fact I don’t watch many vloggers.

That Jeffree Star and Shane Dawson in addition to being extremely talented businessmen (and Trisha Paytas whether you love or not love, is also killing it), are charmingly real and multi-faceted complex humans and while it’s fun to live vicariously with their wealth, they are just as entertaining when they are eating Taco Bell.

That’s how it’s supposed to work, meaning, I can wish others who want or obtain fame and fortune, as well as looking their best, the best, even though I have different aspirations and I am differently abled.

So while it’s hard for me to raise my hand to put on eyeshadow and not gauge one of my fucking eyes out, I’m hoping that Shane and Jeffree’s collaboration is a big success.

As I am grateful that they share their life journeys on You Tube, where watching their videos, helps this recluse, relax.

And that I also wish  good things come to all, who attend their meet n greets.

For local peeps or those who don’t mind traveling, their visit to Mall of America Morphe store is scheduled at noon on 11-2-19 (per MOA’s  online newsletter email).

Note: Anything that is not constructive will not be posted.

Additionally, Minnesota is not a bunch of land filled with lakes and cows, populated with an occasional shopping mall (well, in all fairness it IS , but the Twin Cities and surrounding suburbs are a lil more metro culturally diverse, blah blah) there’s good reason why a day after the Conspiracy launch that they’re coming to MOA.

To want to be or NOT to want to be famous, that can be the questions… BUT what is the right answers, in the digital era???

Important Disclaimers: Because the topic at hand, could be a life or death situation for someone, as evidenced in You Tube link and bullying in the link above that, it bears repeating, I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health provider, nor am I trained in matters of law or public safety.

If you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves, hurting others or being targeted that could cause harm, please seek immediate appropriate professional assistance.



While I have written other blogs, as a non fame seeking non monetized blogger/activist,  on the dangers of social media, I’ve never blogged about these topics, specifically.

That is both for those of us who wish to remain anonymous and/or private in our online/offline lives.

And those who seek to become famous (either with or without wanting to  become or being rich), and having a cautionary tale of what they didn’t want to become famous for.

I’ll  first address the right to be anonymous in our offline private lives, as that’s something I’ve wanted to address forever in this blog, and was reminded of why it’s NEVER been so NEEDED, like it is now.

The top link highlights a local man, who was accused on social media of doing something creepy and being a “creeper” when he pulled over to call a family member for directions.

It’s hard for me to judge the person who made him famous, she honestly thought she was protecting children from a possible pedophile by posting a picture of his car, which identified him as long standing kind and upright citizen, to both the police and his local community.

Even if there was no malice, damage has been done, can’t be taken back.

Truthfully, that man handled it better than I think I could be capable of handling that kind of situation, as it would emotionally break me (and unfortunately I would be really depressed,  unfortunately it needs to be said, as someone with non violent mental health disabilities, I wouldn’t go all Rambo on anyone) and I’d be devastated.

And here’s hoping I’ll and others like me, whether someone is social or an introvert, is never made either famous or infamous against their will, when doing nothing wrong, just going about living their life, won’t ever find out like that man did, of what it’s like to be made infamous, for doing nothing wrong.

That is something that’s not talked about in our society, in this era.

People have to stop assuming that if they want something badly like fame, others want it badly, that EVERYONE must want it.

That’s just simply NOT true.

I’m in NO way saying wanting to be famous is something to be ashamed of.

But somehow, this has all been lost in the digital era of what the dire consequences could possibly be even innocently, making someone well known against their wishes and their will.

We know it causes fatal depression, sometimes homicide, when making someone famous or infamous, when there’s no reason to, with malicious intent.

I don’t look look good at all these days, in a photo.

And I honestly couldn’t care less about how I look, as it applies to me, whether in public and or in private.

I probably care more so, that some, quite a few, will judge me on it.

But judging or assuming I might behave a certain way, in a very unbecoming way, because I at this point, don’t care what others think of me, I do care that others might judge harshly for those of us, where what we look like, is troublesome to others and it hurts them, bothers me.

It bothers and haunts me, A LOT.

It took a long time for me to accept, I’m not ever going to be considered attractive.

I will NEVER accept, that it’s okay for others to judge me and others like me and try to socially, if not financially benefit by putting myself or others like me, with putting images without consent, when going on with our lives, for the social crime of being unattractive to another, when it really doesn’t adversely effect anyone, for their own personal or professional gain.

This era is TOXIC because of that pervasive damaging mindset.

As far as addressing those who want to become famous, have something go viral, while the video link above, addresses that, I’ll just add a few things and it will be clearer why both the right to be anonymous and the dangerous of wanting or becoming famous, in the same blog, needed to be said.

As wanting to be famous, is someone’s right to do.

The problem is and it’s always been an issue, prior to the digital era, is that one doesn’t usually just take themselves down that path to fame and/or the consequences of not handling fame and it ruins their life, if not ends up ending their life and possibly innocent others who didn’t ask to become famous.

Again, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting to be famous, just like there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive and feel and look one’s best.

But, we all need a reminder, what’s good for one, isn’t good for everyone.

What we put or don’t put in our psyches is equally important as what we put or don’t put in our bodies.

And that the consequences can be grave, if one doesn’t consider what, why and who they shoot/post with or on a digital device, could be equally life ruining, if not life taking, as if they shot at someone with an actual gun.

If there isn’t a legal remedy to making a person who wishes to be private, infamous, for doing nothing wrong, there can and should be a moral and ethical remedy and responsibility felt by people vowing to not to do any harm to themselves or any other when using their digital devices.

Important Note: Anything that isn’t constructive won’t  be posted.

#FirstWorldProblems …

Important Disclaimers: Because I am normally a serious activist when it comes to both life and death topics and serious quality of life topics, I am trying to be sensitive that link above that I’m using as a discussion topic to perhaps slightly make fun of, even though the topic in link does touch upon infidelity, which is definitely NOT funny, use your own discretion on whether or not it’s a good topic for you to be reading, as a harmless distraction or if it could be triggering somehow.

Other than disclaimer about topic, there will be profanity and quite a bit of sarcasm and actual blog shouldn’t be as long as disclaimer.

Also note, as always, if anyone is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please seek emergency professional help, right away. Thanks.



I know I shouldn’t EVER make fun of another’s misfortune.

I mean clearly, I’m not a wonderful person, but every time either as a blogger or to myself that  I get snarky or complainy (which I am way more the latter than the former) my Karma (not sure I believe in that, but if I am believing it today…)  is a vengeful bitch.

Problem is in my case is, that I have what I might think are way worse problems.

It probably doesn’t FUCKING  help in the slightest, I can’t really talk about them either publicly or privately, so only a handful of of people know about them, in it’s entirety and other than one person, they aren’t very empathetic.

Like. At. All.

Also in my case, I can’t FUCKING do much about my more serious can’t talk about my own first world problems, to make them better .

So I’ll just pretend for today, that the topic discussed in above link, is MY problem.

That my entire family is pissed at me, that I won’t take a sibling on a vacation to Hawaii that was meant to be a wedding gift, but the wedding was called off due to mutual infidelity on the part of the bride and groom.

I’m not discounting, as I’m not a complete heartless bitch, that scenario in link, wouldn’t be at least slightly irritating.

But with people dying in 3rd, 2nd and 1st world countries,from disease, starvation and war or in my case being too poor and disabled to work or travel or the most basic of things , people getting pissed at me for being a FUCKING present taker backer, is something I wouldn’t mind having right now.

If you can relate, that maybe the person who wrote in for advice, is slightly over the top,  this blog is for you and we can discuss if you like either other first world problems that others whine about that annoy oneself.

You’re welcome.

And as always, anything that could be distressing to myself or a valued reader, unless it’s feloniously stupid and really hilarious, won’t be FUCKING published…


Oh no, SHE didn’t!!!

Unfortunately, OH YES SHE DID!!!

I’m talking about celebrity Miley Cyrus, who I normally like and respect  as an artist and activist, went on an androphobic rant that could have potential setbacks for the LGBTQIA community, which that I won’t even address that, in this blog.

SO, I’ll just stick to the misandry and potential androphobic comments she made on social media this last weekend, on Instagram.

Actually, those comments weren’t potentially androphobic they were full of her own misandry issues and  ANDROPHOBIC!!!

It’s not my place to analyze  of WHY she would say what she did about men, on such a broad damning spectrum.

However, it IS my place, to call it out, when someone has that amount of influence, although it would be wrong even if someone had NO influence, when it  can be so harmful and wrong to any population of people, with what they say.

And it’s even worse, in our society today, where in case of  bias against men, it’s still repulsively so acceptable to do that to a man, just because they’re a man.

I’ve said in past blogs, that it’s not okay to hold all men accountable, for the repugnant behavior of some of them.

As women rape and assault  other women, as well as men, kill and emotionally and physically abuse, too.

I learned this a long time ago, when learning fully to accept LGTBQIA issues and rights, in my very  early 20’s, even though I never hated gay people or gay issues, I just had trouble understanding them.

I used to do volunteer work in a battered women’s shelter as a crisis phone line operator, which gave some time, to talk to some of the residents.

I remember one time there was a resident there, who was explaining her history, that she had been raped multiple times  from the time she was a young child to her late teens by her biological father and she got pregnant.

She wasn’t in that shelter though because of the rapist dad, she was in there because her female partner battered her.

My initial thought, being so naive at 20, was sadness that in that case, thinking how she could possibly trust anyone, with so much trauma, going forward for her.

Then I realized , hopefully she could find someone eventually, male or female to trust.

Trauma can be caused by anyone of any gender, race, religion, weight, political affiliation and of any age to anyone, depending on who they are dealing with.

It’s NOT being misogynist by point that out, that it should be completely unacceptable, to demonize any population of people.


I can’t believe in late 2019, that I, a disabled reclusive activist, has to point out that if it’s NOT okay to gender bash women (which it definitely isn’t ), it’s most certainly NOT okay, to gender bash, perpetuate dangerous myths and hate on men, just because they are men!!!

Note: Comments that aren’t constructive, will NOT be posted…

Why private businesses should NOT opt-in to providing restrooms to the general public in #DowntownMinneapolis…

Well, the city isn’t just asking Downtown Minneapolis businesses but all Minneapolis based businesses to let the public and/or non paying customers to use their bathrooms.

And it’s a TERRIBLE idea…

Having a place to doing bathroom business and it being scarce isn’t something new.

I remember this being an issue 35 years ago, when as a teen I’d take the bus and come to Downtown Minneapolis to go to Dayton’s, the Skyway, City Center being in awe of the city, growing up in the northwestern suburbs. But knowing then, of what very few places you could go to the bathroom, once you got to downtown.

As a poor disabled person who wasn’t always that way, as someone who currently does activism for the disabled and homeless, I can’t be on board with businesses such as restaurants or any private business, that I frequent in Minneapolis, letting the public access restrooms, at this point.

The reason why is it’s a public safety hazard potentially to customers and the businesses  who put money in the city’s economy.

Customers don’t need that as a hassle when they arrive to their final destination whether it be a shop, restaurant, or any kind of business.

And businesses don’t need that as a potential deterrent and additional expense.

As others have chimed in, the City of Minneapolis and/or the DID can provide port-a -potties (which mark my words, won’t be just used for the reasons, provided) like they are now planning and see how much that improves reduction of frequency of public excrement.

It’s easier to just to try and stop this from even starting, then to to start it and stop this initiative, as far as trying to guilt businesses, where a majority of them do something to help people who are less fortunate.

I get that quite a few may not care or worry about getting asked for money, (or it doesn’t happen often, to some) if not sex and drugs on site, at your destination in Minneapolis.

I though, CARE a lot. I don’t like being harassed for all that stuff, either by myself or on  occasion when with another, when going somewhere Downtown or anywhere else in Minneapolis, and it happens all the time.

I’d especially hate it and  thinking others might too, if you make an effort to go somewhere, whether or not you pay for parking and arrive at that destination, of having to worry about at a place, of potentially being harassed there, too.

And the chances of you getting harassed for money, sex or drugs is a lot higher than you witnessing a public excrement by someone, although I’ve seen evidence, multiple times and multiple places, since I’ve moved to Downtown Minneapolis, even where there was close access to a public bathroom.

So, if you feel the way I do, this blog is for YOU…

And if you can’t relate to any of this, more power to ya.

Note: Anything that isn’t constructive will NOT be published…

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