What is actually going to take, for others to stop judging and shaming people based upon their appearance???
Important Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in law enforcement or public safety.
IF you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.
This blog is being written to both serious personal and professional activism, so there may be some profanity in it, it’s definitely NOT meant to appearance shame anyone whether they work hard to look their best or they are more like me and don’t, anymore.
As my blogs in the last 3 months have touched upon bias I get for my appearance not just in the real world but when seeking emergent medical attention.
As well as my life in the last 50 years of being appearance shamed about weight and looks.
Bullying by peers and medical bias can have both dire psychological and physical consequences acutely and long term, if a patient can actually live through some of the things we should never be put through ONCE, let alone over and over again.
IF any above topics or profanity is a trigger to anyone, please don’t read, thanks.
“I swear to GOD, they both looked and reacted to me like myself and myself ALONE, was FUCKING soley responsible for the Obesity and Opiate epidemics!!!!”
Above comment made by myself when discussing my ER visits and a recent medical admission when having a followup appointment with my long term primary care physician, yesterday and catching her up on that, as she knows I hate going to the doctor, so for me to go to the ER three times in a 5 week period, as Thanksgiving and the weekend after I couldn’t stop projectile vomiting, so I went into the ER 3 days later, 2 days after my 50th birthday.
As well as for Hanukkah/Christmas, I got a potentially life threatening cellulitis infection in my face, which caused ER visit #2 and the ER visit #3 a week later was due to the “gift” of the c-diff infection I got from all the intraveneous antibiotics they gave me for the cellulitis infection.
This is the thing, NO ONE at this point can cause me emotional duress, because they don’t like that I’m still fat despite quite the gastric bypass history and that I don’t even try to be anything resembling an attractive human being.
I can’t care anymore, that’s my perogative, I feel like a really old person who feels like shit most of the time, having a lot of severe chronic pain head to toe, if I take a shower and put clean clothes on, well, you’re welcome.
Doesn’t mean I am going to judge those who want to look and feel their best, as I’ve said before, there’s nothing wrong with that.
However there’s something terribly FUCKING wrong, when people look at another just because it offends on some level their desired aesthetic for others when someone doesn’t meet them.
You don’t like the way someone looks where other than that, their behavior and looks doesn’t effect you, in any other way???
Don’t fucking look at them, it’s that easy.
Slightly, a little more harder but worth the work, is to try and get past that your bias that is causing you to judge someone negatively when their existence has NO effect on how you live your life.
And if you’re an actual physician and have a patient who may be of excess weight and ONLY that, even without a bariatric surgical history, and never has had a comorbidity due to Obesity in their life, if a patient tells you they can’t stop throwing up and they are having trouble eating and keeping liquids down, telling them to completely stop eating is never the answer or such as if a patient is admitted during a different emergent encounter and a line of offensive questioning that has NOTHING to do due with the admitting diagnosis and being cavalier as such as discharging them because they get offended when you ask them if they are abusing cocaine or heroin, which is in direct contradiction of the comments you made about their Obesity moments prior, realize that you’re not the first physician or first person to be so unnecessarily critical as well as absolutely WRONG in your judgement of a patient.
This blog isn’t about me, though.
Honestly, normally when a physican treats me like crap, I can give it back appropriately where I’ll call them out on their bias, either to their faces or by filing a grievance, I don’t and no one else has a right to do more than that.
But I can’t stop thinking that human beings who are vulnerable, whether or not in a patient role, don’t have a voice and constantly are being told by their peers and clinical professionals there is something wrong with them because of their particular aesthetic.
I have no problem saying this has and will continue to kill people, unnecessarily until others realize they could be so harmful, even if it’s not intentional or with malice.
Whether it’s patients who will not seek professional help due to bias and being labeled and not believed or it being assumed a patient has medical or mental health issues they don’t, just based upon what they look like and/or they are a one in a million patient in their physical responses that differ than most the population of humans to treatments.
Or human beings who’s depression or behavior is at risk of being of fatal to themselves and or innocent others, because they can no longer bear hearing how either ugly and fat they are or how ugly and too thin they are.
Just be kind and if you can’t be kind, just ignore someone versus going out of one’s way to bully and/or shame someone and do it like someone’s life fucking depends on it.
Because it actually does…
Important Note: Anything that could be hurtful to myself or another reader will NOT be published.