It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

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Gastric Bypass Reversals 501- ADVANCED/ Important information regarding Gastric Bypass Reversals…


Disclaimers: I’m NOT  a clinically medical or mental health professional. PERIOD. I have some leeway, over other bariatric patients in the bariatric community as a whole, because given the length of time I’ve been helping people when it comes to subject matter. While I will always tell people in medical and/or mental health crisis to seek clinically trained guidance, when it comes to anything, including a gastric bypass reversal, I have some leeway, given that I’m so public about my reversal and for how many people I’ve helped.

For as much as I’ve been blogging, I’ve noticed a strange trend on here, as of late.

While I’m fully aware, that most of my topics are relevant usually to Americans, usually my bariatric surgery related blogs, reversal themed or not, get read a lot in outside the United States, primarily in Europe.
A strange trend though has taken place, in the last several months, though.

A lot of my reversal blogs are being read in Asia and Africa.

Without a followup personal query.

Which is leaving me quite perplexed.

As there is only really a handful of us, who’s talking about gastric bypass reversals, where it reaches a global scale.

That would be myself, my social media bud Sue Joan (who helped me enormously when I had my reversal) and Frankenbelly Misty Trask, who also vlogs and blogs about reversals, and is an amazing ally in support, as well as her desire to help, has led her to start a dedicated reversal support group on Facebook, for the last several years that she runs.

There are other people of course, but us 3, are usually the ones who are contacted the most, globally.

As well as the book that Dani Hart wrote, well over a decade ago, regarding gastric bypass  reversals, but I haven’t found her on social media, at all.

Most people, if they have any kind of curiosity about a gastric bypass reversal, would be surprised to know that I spend almost as much time equally talking someone OUT of wanting a gastric bypass reversal, than into one.

Also, while I had a bariatric surgeon who was nationally AND globally ranked (as he teaches procedures outside of the U.S. or at least he used to) and regarded who did both my gastric bypass and reversal, I absolutely KNOW nothing that might translate well, in helping others, who and/or where the surgery procedures for both bariatric surgeries and takedowns of them in other countries/continents (other than vertical sleeve gastrectomies which are not reversible but they also are usually considered the least invasive of bariatric surgeries, even with approximately  80% of the stomach being removed), that there is some kind of irony, that my reversal has gotten so much global attention.

This though, is NOT why I’m writing this blog.

I’m writing it, because I do have a desire that NO ONE goes through the reversal process, if surgically indicated that it’s necessary, alone.

But truthfully, this is where the “advanced” but doesn’t mean squat, comes in.

I couldn’t tell someone from a different country or continent anymore about any potential of a  predictable outcome because there’s no such thing, for a reversal, out of the country or continent, than I could if they were in North America or the United States.

I’m definitely NOT saying that I don’t possess the skill sets, even as a non clinically trained provider to metaphorically “hold someone’s hand”, while they go through the process.

I just can’t, just like NO ONE can, guarantee the length of recovery or what their recovery and ultimate  long term outcome can and/or will be or what it will look like.

That doesn’t mean that I’m going to not help people regardless of country or continent they reside in, of trying to help when I can.

The very nature of a reversal being needed, as I’ve tried to state, makes any kind of prediction on how an outcome, well, unpredictable.

That though is in no way expressing, that if a surgeon is recommending a reversal, a patient should not go through with it, because the outcome is unpredictable, it’s unpredictable but it’s life saving and life enhancing compared to the risk of potential deadly complications and or life ruining ones, if a serious intervention like a reversal doesn’t happen but it’s needed.

Just because I had a reversal from such a brilliant surgeon who teaches procedures all over the world, doesn’t make me an expert in all things regarding gastric bypass reversals, especially the physiology component.

I didn’t go to medical school and I’m NOT  a surgeon.

I just because of irony, bad luck and a desire to help others, possess the knowledge that very few peers would have, when it comes to this topic, that’s it.

It’s A LOT though.

Given how many people I’ve enormously helped in the last 7 1/2  years.

What may I suggest for sources of support and/or information, if a surgeon regardless of country and/or continent of residence in a bariatric patient suggests a gastric bypass reversal:

And unfortunately I can’t copy and paste links.

Use both search engines (i.e Google) and You Tube and there’s a ton of information in articles and videos.

While the surgeon videos are helpful, it’s also extremely helpful on You Tube to hear from others who’ve had reversals.

Note though, that there are patient limitations, as well as professional ones, on how much we can help specifically, for multiple reasons.

Such as our beloved Grace, who has videos on You Tube and various bariatric community threads and I’ve seen people write nasty things because she didn’t respond back on her videos and/or threads online.

Grace sadly passed away a few years ago, non reversal related.

People like Frankenbelly Misty Trask, she vlogs on You Tube and blogs, as well as admins that reversal support group on Facebook.

If you use a search engine you can find Sue J. ‘s work who’s been helping people with bariatric complications for many years by “googling” suesaysthings.

I blog about about reversals on this blog site and at Obesity Help.

But respect our limitations, OK?

We help because we believe in comprehensive  support. While nothing I do is monetized and I can only speak for myself, even for those who can monetize their support services, they aren’t making very much, if ANY money, if it’s peer support driven.

Be honest when asked questions by someone who’s trying to help you in this capacity, as far as one’s gastric bypass reversal.

We’re NOT asking because we’re nosy. I ask detailed questions, to a potential reversal patient, even though I’m NOT a clinically trained provider, to give the best support and insight as possible.

I can’t do that, if certain questions aren’t answered, when I ask them.

But if you choose to lie, realize whether it’s one of us peers or a clinically trained professional, most of us, have done this long enough, to know when someone is NOT being truthful.

For those who contact others about needing support and information, be RESPECTFUL.

I’m not, nor is others doing it for our own sake, other than wanting to provide valuable support.

I put boundaries that are necessary for everyone’s safety, both yours and mine.

As an activist especially, I have a duty to warn and protect and I take that very seriously.

IF I suspect that someone is behaving in a manner that could be harmful to themselves or others, I can’t nor can any peer or even clinical professional, resolve that, in an acute sense, I’m going to have to report any kind of suspicious or dangerous thinking and/or behaviors to emergency responders in one’s location.

That’s why I limit helping people to email queries, exclusively.

Although I’m pretty saavy on being able to find people, if I have their email address and I suspect they possibly will self harm.

I don’t give my phone number out any longer, because it/and myself was verbally abused, a long time ago.

For my sake, while I will try to participate when I see queries all over the internet, I’m NOT on social media, much.

But my blog is one of the first gastric bypass reversal resources that exists, when one uses a search engine.

The last thing and most important, know if you contact me, among others that I both named and not named, all of us try to help.

I know for me, I will with boundaries stated above, help someone to the best of my ability, for as long as it takes, to see them go through the reversal process with support and/or the opposite, where if someone has bariatric surgical regret, wants a reversal and they aren’t a candidate, because they mourn food as a coping mechanism, and I warn pre-ops they shouldn’t ever expect that their bariatric surgery can be reversed and support those who mourn food, in positive redirection knowing that a reversal may not guarantee an ability to return to eat normally, because those patients aren’t going to get one for that reason, as well as the other risks.

I don’t expect anything more except hopefully, respect and possibly a thank you for those I go out of my way to help.

But if I invest my time and my caring, just like any of us, to talk to someone for several months or if not several years on the internet and if one can’t be bothered to be respectful or grateful (luckily those people are few and far between) don’t get mad when you’re not in acute medical and/or mental health crisis, any longer, that I will sever contact at that point.

I don’t mind helping as much and as long as it takes to help someone, especially if they’re appreciative.

I do mind, and so will your surgeon, as well as it will set off warning bells, if one is belligerent to a person trying to help another.

As not only do I have my own problems, as well as other people I help who are in crisis but  grateful for my help,  a bariatric  surgeon will be concerned on doing any kind of surgery on a patient where they’re questioning a patient’s mental fitness and potential compliance of what a reversal takes, if a patient comes off rude, mean and/or a know it all.

I know this was wordy, but given again, the nature of how much this topic is still being researched, I figured it deserved another blog on how to best help patients when they need a gastric bypass reversal.

And when they don’t.

Note: I don’t mind constructive feedback. Any rude comments will NOT be addressed. Thanks!!!











The ONE superficial thing online that drives me NUTS…


Disclaimers: This blog is NOT  meant to do any kind of activism, it’s just meant to be funny and probably will contain profanity.

I notice a trend with my blogs, people like my funny side or my serious side if I use profanity or when I’m more trainwrecky.

But on the offchance, I make a valid life or death type of concise statement or observation, my blogs just don’t get read.

#1 Superficial thing that drives me NUTS about my online life???

Okay, I’ll back up a bit.

As I picked a “meme” that’s only appropriate, because this particular top annoyance involves businesses that I frequent that have loyalty/reward email clubs.


Meaning businesses that have loyalty/reward clubs and the benefits from them.

I HATE COOKING and I’m really bad at it on a GOOD day.

On a BAD day, I’m a fucking public safety hazard, in a kitchen.

So if you don’t have a ton of funds and you live in an expensive city with not a lot of options for groceries, I usually eat takeout or delivery until I fucking run out of money.

And yeah, it’s completely safe to assume, I am NEVER fucking going to blog about fiscal responsibility.

So, I join a lot of email clubs, cause I love a bargain, whenever I can get one, restaurants, retail, hospitality, blah blah.

And here comes my main annoyance with these clubs, that I’m taking a break from serious activism (partially for my peace of mind) to point out something that fucking seriously annoys me when joining them.

Especially restaurants and as a marketing major in the fucking olden days, I get it.

What I don’t fucking understand, in the internet ERA is why whenever I fucking join an email club, the year starts out with either fucking 1917 or 2018.

But that’s been the case for years.

And it’s seriously fucking annoying to scroll down to the year 1969.

Cause that’s about 412 fucking seconds of my life I’m not going to get back.

I’m HONESTLY not trying to be an ageist asshole.

I just would really like to fucking know, of how many 100 and 101 year olds and babies and fetuses are exactly joining these clubs???

SO, if anyone can fucking answer this pressing question of mine, I’d really like an answer.

Or feel free to share a superficial major annoyance of yours, as well…

Note: I love constructive dialogue. Or witty rapport.

What I fucking don’t love is ANY KIND of food, fitness and/or financial advice.


Note: I actually constructed a fairly well written blog, for once. Edits I made, didn’t take place before publishing and the 2 lapover words aren’t on me (for a refreshing change) , but on WP.



Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I a credentialed law enforcement expert.

Unfortunately, NONE of my serious disclaimers would have had a prayer in preventing yesterday’s horrific shooting in Yountville, CA.

I can only bring awareness that people who are trained to protect us, can harm, when in crisis and we need more support services to support prevention initiatives or how to identify those who cannot be rehabilitated.

I usually don’t discuss anything to do with those who’ve served in the military, other than the reverence I have for John McCain (and why I’m bringing him up again, will make sense, later in this blog).

I have no foundation in any kind of life experience in dealing with people who’ve served our country and the kind of post traumatic stress disorder that they can come back with.

Which now in several instances, they’ve gone back to kill both military and civilians when in crisis.

I just think of the death of those 3 women, the psychological trauma of those who had to bear witness to the standoff but weren’t physically injured and it breaks my heart, as I’m sure it does for a lot of people.

In this instance, in Yountville, the murderer was SEEKING treatment, at sometime prior to commiting this horrific tragedy and it still didn’t prevent him from killing 3 innocent people and him dying.

I would like to think, that when members of our military, return to civilian life that there is initiatives in support services of how to acclimate them back into society.

But where it may be relevant, in what I’m thinking, is that a lot of these senseless tragic massacres, in the end, fall into the category of people in crisis, perceiving someone so misguidedly thinking someone else is their mortal enemy.

Because this tragedy just occurred, it’s obviously being investigated, and surely more information will come out.

But it won’t bring back the women who were killed and we OWE them, people who dedicated their lives and career paths in to trying to restore peace of mind, in traumatized military veterans, that they didn’t die in vain.

And while the gun control argument will still be debated, in this case, this was a member of our military, not to mention, anyone with internet access and a desire to kill another, can use other weapons of mass destruction to kill people, so the argument can’t begin and end with gun control and mentally ill people.

This needs something MORE, to prevent these tragedies from happening.

And people who serve our country, if they are taught how to kill people in war, maybe they need help before they are sent off to war on how not be a killing machine, when they come back, and I’m not saying that maliciously, as I have an enormous amount of gratitude for those who serve our country.

BUT….Maybe, we OWE all of those who help us in crisis, whether it be in war, clinically educated, trained and practicing medical and all mental health and all forms of law enforcement professionals and teachers, extensive and comprehensive support services, so they aren’t in their own hellish war that could lead to internal crisis or a crisis that will have a body count.

In what we are facing, with deadly fatalities that are occuring EVERYDAY, of trying harder to prevent them, one day and one crisis at a time.

You don’t have to be a clinically trained professional, to respectfully demand that, from our government, as far as extensive support services for those who serve people in crisis, especially including our military, but also their support staff.

As well as extensive support services for civilians who serve the public, when in crisis of any kind.

But this will NOT be solved by endless arguments of gun control and the mentally ill.

Go past that and for those who want to HELP, multiple initiatives are going to need to take place, so that people don’t keep dying and for those who’ve tragically been taken from us, they didn’t DIE in vain.

“The hard part of a revolution, is not making a revolution, it’s making it’s goals” – John McCain

Note: I will ONLY publish constructive feedback, which means I’m all for any kind of help or advice on this topic, which I know so very little about and am not a clinically trained professional.


Why The Bachelor exemplifies more serious problems in our society…


Disclaimers: This blog is not to do serious activism. It also will include profanity, because I notice an odd trend when there’s an absence of profanity, especially my NOT using the word “fuck”, in a blog and/or rant.

Meaning blogs with an absence of profanity, usually don’t get read. And while my blog isn’t ego driven, nor is it monetized, I already know how I feel about things, if I figured any points I have to make as a writer and blogger were only good for myself, I wouldn’t bother. Capisce?

Holy Shit!!!

Way to go,  ABC!!!

I don’t watch reality television.

But I don’t watch television, in general, when I’m by myself, which is 99.5% of the time.

I will read about it, though, on occasion.

And I DEFINITELY get its appeal.

I read about it now, because it’s a great distraction, from the fucking WORST shit ass reality show that’s going on in Washington, D.C., as well as other parts of the world.

As well as all the bad and sad stuff going on all over the U.S.

As a certified trainwreck (“certified” by a malicious website that likes trashing people who talk openly like I have, with disabilities about being in crisis, which I wrote about several years ago, when finding one of my most serious blogs submitted to a website called “the biggest trainwrecks”) I don’t enjoy watching other “trainwrecks”, so to speak.

I’ve never been a “misery loves company” type of person.

Nor do I get pleasure in seeing people who are young, beautiful and accomplished, which is unrelatable to me, looking for love on t.v. either when things are going great or they are going fucking REALLY bad.

The Bachelor is NO exception, it’s super fucking unrelatable,  to me.

The fallout though, from this particular season, I find kinda fascinating and horrifying at the same time.

Super attractive man proposes to a super attractive woman, after what I guess was a hard decision between 2 equally but unique super attractive accomplished women. Changes his mind and on t.v. breaks up and ends his engagement  with his first choice for his 2nd runner up.

On national television.

And the fucking internet and media loses it’s damn mind!!!

I’m not saying that I don’t feel sorry for Becca, which goes beyond her being local to Minneapolis.

A break up is hard enough.

One taking place on television (and all over social media) HAS to fucking be BRUTAL.

But there’s some kind of  pre-warning that both great things and things people would like to keep private ARE NOT going to be, if one is on this television show.

And now there’s a state law being proposed by a local lawmaker to keep the fucking nefarious Arie out of Minnesota, for doing what he did to Becca.

I LOVE my adopted hometown, even though I’ve fessed up in previous blogs, committing fucking “Minnesota Blasphemy” in my hatred of hotdish, the Minnesota State Fair, the words “uff da” and “ya betcha” among other things and yet again, I’m admitting this and other things, hopefully for greater good.

Just because a dude dumps a local lady who may be a super nice lady, doesn’t mean it warrants a law, both the Twin Cities and the Greater Minnesota area, has much worse problems than that though, where our local congress people need not intervene in this instance.

I’m not saying I’m a great person cause I don’t watch unrelatable shit like The Bachelor, nor do I normally care about the who and why of people watching shows like it.

It’s a good distraction and great television.


It just sends a terrible message, in a society that is so easily bored and looking for distraction that for us to be entertained or distracted , we have to be bombarded by as much sensationalistic messages as humanly possible, in the digital era.

I actually wrote an outline for a television show, late last year.

It would be slightly semi-autobiographical and possibly the WORST and most bizarre entertaining updated take, inspired by the Mary Tyler Moore show.

I fucking already know. How dare I, right?

That’s why this recluse ain’t going to be trying to sell it anywhere. Yet.

But it doesn’t exploit anyone, even if it’s not the key players such in The Bachelor, who know they are going to be exploited, but will make money and I don’t worry about them, because I know that they will be okay.

Including Becca K., who I sincerely wish, nothing but the best, which I know she’s fully capable of making her own destiny, a successful one, whether or not she’s successful on her endeavor for love, on national t.v. .

However, you don’t want to get me started on t.v. shows that truly exploit the vulnerable who are in crisis and can’t give informed consent like Hoarders and Intervention.

And I don’t judge people who watch that shit, either.

That will just be a topic for a future blog. You’re welcome.

Note: This was not a serious blog, even though I know I may have hit a fucking nerve or 456 of them. Again, I don’t judge people who watch any kind of reality t.v. shows, I do worry though in a society that thrives on unnecessary situational chaos, that for some, it may just be a harmless way to pass time.

In others, though, it desensitizes people to human suffering and a lack in ability to have empathy.

Ot they have too much empathy for something superficial, but can’t garner an ounce of empathy, when it’s needed the most.

As well as the misplaced hatred of humans that shows like this can create.

If I’m going to commit myself to mindless shit for entertainment, on occasion, I just pick the biggest, best and most entertaining You Tube vloggers, where I get a limited (by me!!!)  buffet of people who are at any given time, both likeable and not likeable, narcissistic and all over the social media platforms, unapologetically. ;)~

That and Grey’s Anatomy, is what I watch on You Tube or Netflix on my tablet, even though I have SMART TV!!!!

Comments that are constructive are welcomed.

Comments that lack creativity and are based in hate, well depending on the stupidity level of what’s being said, may or may not be addressed.


An important part of the conversation in trying to prevent school shootings…

Important Disclaimers: I believe the video starts an important dialogue that we need to be having and I’ve tried to also state in other blogs about school massacres, other massacres and murder/suicides.

I’ll always encourage people who are in medical and/or mental crisis, and/or if you suspect someone else and is capable of hurting themselves or others, please seek acute clinical professional help and/or contact 911 (and/or EMS for your country if your outside the United States) immediately.

The man in this video is brave.

He starts an important conversation that I’ve tried to initiate dialogue for,  but am not so brave to leave my house to do so, nor as I am as concise.

He shares concerns that I have stated since I’ve launched this blog, that gun control is necessary, as well as open and honest constructive dialogue is necessary to try and  help prevent all these senseless school shootings, but brings up concerns wisely, that gun control is NOT enough.

Again, I believe in gun reform.

I don’t believe that ANY citizen should have an assault rifle.

But lifelong constant societal, familial and peer rejection in some people can lead to predatory and horrific massacres.

It doesn’t mean that all people who’ve experienced massive rejection would ever be capable of hurting another person, let alone killing them.

And Aaron Stark talks about that, too.

Because when we start the labeling people without asking questions, a reclusive loner who’s been subjected to lifelong bullying and has limited support, not all of them are going to ever be capable of causing any kind of harm (i.e. me and many others) to others and have never ever thought about hurting another.

And society just can’t start locking people up, in thinking because they possess certain anti-social appearing traits, that they are at risk for something I/they would  NEVER be capable of doing.

I don’t think it’s his intention, but I want to make this clear, as I do think the video can be life saving, some people probably can not be “loved” or shown caring enough to prevent them, from doing something that could cause harm, if not fatalities in many others.

In the end, it’s the person who kills people, who’s responsible for them being a mass murderer,  as there is never a good enough defense to justify their horrific behavior, as it’s not brave to ambush innocent people, EVER. It’s horrifically cowardly and it should never be thought,  otherwise.

But it can give hope, as shown in the  conversation in this video,  that is possible that some of  these tragedies can be prevented, regardless of weapon choice in a potential mass murderer and/or serial killer.

By asking someone without stigma,  hopefully to save lives, of what helped him when in crisis, to not to kill himself, let alone other people, even though he had considered both at one time, can hopefully lead into constructive initiatives and support systems for those in crisis, BEFORE they horrifically kill others.


Google apparently HATES me and is apparently trying to KILL me…





Disclaimer: This profanity laced blog is to be silly and/or slightly entertaining. Although I’m kind of befuddled on why when using Google’s search engine to find out how far it is from Dubai to Amsterdam, I’d get the option for directions on how to WALK there, I’d seriously strongly advise AGAINST , that this is not a cross-continental walking trek ANYONE should be making, let alone, ME.

That’s if one can even legally do that of any sort, which I doubt, whether they are an American or NOT.

I’ve been in serious activist mode, too long, so when finding that my You Tube account wasn’t working, late tonight,  I thought I’d read the news articles suggested for me in Google, even though they are usually not as wisely suggested, as videos.

While I didn’t find it anymore comforting about human nature reading an article about a Carnival Cruise that had to make a detour to get rid of a family of 23 people who were unruly on a cruise, when I read an article about an international flight that had to make an emergency stop, I decided, as pictured above, just out of curiosity,  to use Google to find out how far Dubai was from Amsterdam, which was the flight route.

In fairness to Google, I do end up having to use their search engine to look up some pretty diverse things, as an activist, and as a disabled activist, to fact check or better research some of the topics I blog about.

Other than planning and booking my trip to Vegas in late September of 2015, I haven’t given ONE inkling I’d like to go anywhere outside of where I live, let alone outside of Minnesota, and most definitely NOT any inkling that I’d like to outside of the continent on a walking tour.

I don’t know what makes me more FUCKING mad. That my premium (cause yeah, I pay for You Tube/Google Music, that way I don’t have commercials) isn’t working and that for the first time (as I’ve been curious to find out mileage destinations before, based upon news articles) why the FUCK they would for the first time, give me driving or walking  directions on a dangerous not recommended for any HUMAN being walking tour given distances and destinations, but especially, Especially, FUCKING ESPECIALLY for someone they know without a doubt, is a disabled activist and knows I don’t fucking drive, given my looking up public transit routes and having that site, bookmarked on FUCKING Google.

I didn’t take pictures of the directions of the exact FUCKING 3,820 mile cross continental trek, because when quickly scrolling for fucking over 30 minutes, it didn’t even take me out of Dubai, and while I can’t speak Hebrew anymore, I can read it, but I don’t know any Arabic, let alone the 15+ FUCKING languages that it would probably take to do something FUCKING ridiculously dangerously stupid and so unlikely by anyone.

And if I’m to be honest, I do find it kinda bizarrely hilarious and horrifying, at the same time.

So NO, I really don’t believe Google is trying to kill me.

Unless it’s unintentionally trying to aggravate  me to death, by no access to You Tube and a non fun detailed dangerous not recommended walking tour that NO ONE would ever try to do.

But hopefully, this worked being funny or as a sedative, if you’re having trouble sleeping like I am… Of if you ever had an intellectual curiosity, which I fucking NEVER HAVE HAD, an inkling of what it takes to walk from Dubai to Amsterdam, well then, you’re welcome.


p.s. Also note,  to add insult to injury I AM a fucking local 5 guide for Google. Where approximately  95% of my reviews of places are within a 1 mile radius of where I live and ALL of them are within a 15 mile radius, where I live, because they know exactly where I live, from being a guide and a paying customer.

p.s.s. For those who follow me on social media, I’m not planning on being on Facebook or Twitter for awhile, my blog though auto-posts to both. I’m not even walking within locally in Downtown Minneapolis much, so if I take a badly needed break also from blogging, I’m not using my Fitbit Zip, much, either.

And while right now, giving up the internet, sounds appealing, it’s highly unlikely, so if you want to get ahold of me, email me. Thanks.

In hopes to honor a recently local fallen hero…


This above meme tragically doesn’t mean anything in relation to what I’m writing.

Because it wasn’t a local man who was 72 years old, and decided to drive drunk last night, who lost his car or his license.

He nearly lost his life and is in critical condition at a local hospital.

Horrifically though, he  killed a 30 year old female Minneapolis 911 operator who died tragically in that accident last night, on her way to work.

I’m heartbroken for the family, friends and co-workers of this amazing young woman.

I’m heartbroken as a citizen of Downtown  Minneapolis, who reveres all of our first responders, and feels safer because of them, whether they be 911 operators, police officers, fire department and our local HCMC EMS staff who are headquartered 2-4 blocks away from where I live.

I’m not saying the following, which I’ve said before, and after my last blog, the last thing I really wanted to be doing is writing another serious blog, given my disability sets and feeling so helpless about such tragic awful loss of life, in the last 2 weeks.

But in hopes that another person will NOT make the same mistake as that 72 year old man who drove impaired, last night, I will try.

As I thank our first responders, in person, everytime I see them, since moving to Downtown Minneapolis. I’ve thanked when I’ve had to call 911.

I’ve tried to thank them in past blogs and failed to do so because of my disability sets of not being concise, when trying to show being beyond grateful for their service, it was beyond readable.

I remember one instance, when calling 911, on July 4th in 2016, due to the PTSD triggers that I have, I thought because of being anxiety prone and having major panic attacks, due to fireworks that are set off in my neighborhood (I’m talking about people setting off fireworks not the professional display that occurs a mile away) , the year before, because it’s hard to distinguish I was so on edge, the next year, that I mistakenly thought there was a fire, across the street.

It wasn’t a delusion, it was a mistake on how light fell on a windy day, from where I could see, in my apartment window, in the parking lot across the street,  from being anxiety prone and when the 911 operator called me back, I realized what happened , that there was no fire and she made me feel better, because I felt awful, wasting resources when there wasn’t a true emergency, which I would any day, but especially on a day like Independence Day that’s super busy for first responders.

She kindly and patiently said, “we’d rather given the circumstances operate on a false alarm than not to not have the ability to help”, if there was a true emergency but it went unreported and it wasn’t so far fetched, and that I should feel good about caring about other’s people safety, as well as acknowledging and not minimizing my severe anxiety as it’s hard to tell when you can hear neighbors setting off loud fireworks, but cannot see them, if that’s what’s occuring or if it’s gunfire.

As such as in my case, where I didn’t feel safe enough, rational or not, to go outside and check.

So I’m writing this. I’m hoping that anyone doesn’t think that their actions, whether they get behind the wheel, drunk, looking at a text, looking at social media, being mad about something and driving recklessly, doesn’t have the potential to kill an innocent person.


And in this case, locally, we are mourning that we are NOW short one life saving hero, who didn’t have to die on her way to work, which she was an amazing first responder, because someone got behind the wheel when they had NO right to do that.

So hopefully anyone will think twice, before getting beyond the wheel impaired, for ANY reason, so this doesn’t happen again.

I’m so sorry for the loss of this lovely young heroic woman, for her, for her  family and friends, co-workers and the City of Minneapolis.

Editorial Note: I updated this blog, 3 hours, after I originally published, because at the time, that I heard more details about this tragedy, while the identity of the 911 operator had been released, I hadn’t seen any of the details released about  the identity of the drunk driver, who was a retired pastor.

I feel just as strong in my sentiment that people should not drive impaired, it shows that even people who do such good in the world, make horrific mistakes in judgement, that can tragically end a life of not just themselves, but an innocent other.

I’m trying to be as respectful as possible, given all the circumstances, in hopes that this doesn’t ever happen again. Or that it would possibly save one life, but I couldn’t ever do the greater good that both the 911 operator did in her life, as well as sadly from what is being reported about the retired pastor and felt I needed to be sensitive, as I could, given this particular local devastating tragedy.

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