It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Doing something ONCE but the consequences lasting FOREVER…

IMG_20190811_225107_552

(I wrote a poem on the eve of the 11th anniversary of my “one and only” suicide attempt and on the 5th anniversary of a death of a beloved icon. Cause I’m old school in the digital era, I typed the poem on my email vs. meme generators, then took a picture of it with my smartphone, uploaded it to my large android tablet with keyboard, cause I find most apps as well as smartphones to be that YUCKY, but that is how I am, my outlook with others, is you just do you, boo, OK? thanks/you’re welcome)

IMPORTANT Disclaimers: This blog is to achieve more of a personal something vs. activism goal. Given most of my activism is rooted in life and death medical and mental health issues and circumstances, I do take liberties personally when talking about my OWN mental health and medical issues that I wouldn’t with another.

If serious topics sometimes not taken so seriously that are wordy and with some profanity, are a trigger to anyone, please do not read this blog.

And as always, if you or someone you know is a danger to themselves or others, please contact in person emergency services in your area.

Anyhoo, let the whatever (not sure if this will be a somewhat serious blog, fun, mayhem, crazy, super wordy(looks like wordy, as I’m over 200 words in, in just my disclaimer) probably combination of, commence…

***
Sigh…

I guess this has to start somewhere, right?

And if you’re familiar with me, or my writing, ya know I digress.

A lot…

So anyhow I happened to be outside last Friday night (unusual for me, as I’m a recluse who spends 99% of time alone, in my apartment in the last 2 1/2 years) and this lady who happened to be helping my neighbor with something, on her way out, started a conversation with 2 of my neighbors and myself where we were watching construction (neverending, on my side of da Miniapple) at 9pm on a Friday night in front of our building.

Okay, I know she meant well.

She started out the conversation about keeping active and looking good for 52 and while my neighbors gave her a compliment, I didn’t. I didn’t want to explain why and say “you look good for any age” or give any thing away that could explain my former life at first.

When she asked us without verbatim of basically “how do people FUCKING end up in a really poor building in a really rich neighborhood???”, I just basically said I was a disabled non monetized blogger and my neighbors gave some version of their stuff.

I’ve gotten really good or really bad depending on how you look at it, at answering that question in the last 10 years.

If I wanted to keep guessing and on occasion when I get some form of that question, I could just say “x amount of years ago I was a size 2 Certified Personal Trainer” which I did end up saying to her is the reason why I blogged, before returning to my apartment last Friday night.

I don’t answer that way most of the time, even though the looks people give me, are nothing short of amazing, because it doesn’t do the life I had regardless of weight,  prior to 2008, absolutely any justice.

Especially the time of my life, that I was a working full time, proactive loving single mother of 2 children.

Which will always be the best time of my life, starting in 1992 when my only son was born, getting even better when his sister was born 10 1/2 years later and ENDING in August of 2008 when I gave up custody of  both of my children to my parents and tried to commit to suicide due to severe medical issues and mental health ones, 5 days later.

Today is the 11th anniversary of my “one and only” suicide attempt.

Which is in great detail in my very first blog on here, exactly 6 years ago.

Other than NOT dying, the consequences of my suicide attempt were pretty severe.

The same could be said of my gastric bypass and Mirena, my 2nd trial of Fentanyl, my 3rd trial of Topamax at different times after my gastric bypass reversal in 2010.

I’m not even going to mention all my other bizarre near death experiences outside of the realm of my control, prior to my gastric bypass in 2001, in this blog.

I started this blog for a few reasons.

Primarily, as I’ve said before, that what I went through and so unfortunately put those I love through, wasn’t in vain.

That topics that are stigmatized would be less so to help others, either in prevention of suffering or reducing it.

That my children had in my words, how much I love them, when my youngest who has no memory of my being a functional loving present mother and my oldest, who saw me at my best and worst, would have my words, if they ever needed them and I couldn’t articulate them any longer or when I’m no longer around.

But this is the mixed blessing of all of this, as 11 years later, I’m still reduced to only what I can SAY, to help others.

I’m not capable of doing the normal day to day stuff that other people do to SHOW others they love them.

I’ve said before, I don’t have a great life, even though I’m able to do some uncanny great things with these words I have.

I can help someone when they are suicidal because they have bariatric surgical regret and they want a gastric bypass reversal when it’s not medically indicated, on working through why it can’t help them.

I can help someone who NEEDS gastric bypass reversal to save their life, that they have to remain alive, if one of the fears they have is getting fat again after a reversal, for that to be an option.

I can help others who think those of us have bariatric surgery and think for those who advocate for it or against it (again I’m for it, a surgical intervention, like I am for opiates, when all other less invasive treatments have been exhausted) why people feel blessed and cursed, and for those of us who fall in the latter category, remind that bariatric surgery is supposed to enhance one’s life, not ruin it or take it away.

I don’t just stay in one lane when it comes to medical activism with bariatric surgery or with my “one and only” suicide attempt because I am much more than my own medical and mental health issues and so is everyone else and other’s health issues among many, such as cancer, need better treatment options, just like schizophrenia, does.

For someone who had to fight herself to die, 11 years ago and then had to fight so hard to stay alive less than 2 years later, I will be always be sad for what’s been really bad and grateful for what is good.

In my case I’m grateful I didn’t have a chance as not an attractive child to have preconceived notions of what my life would turn out being, I didn’t expect the extraordinary blessings and I couldn’t have in my worst nightmares think about what the bad stuff would look like.

And in the digital era that has served me well, to not want to hurt, be hurt to prepare for the unexpected, even though I will always fear it.

But this is my life and I’m more than the wordy gastric bypass reversed chick who nearly got committed for one and only suicide attempt and leads a small life that is peppered with some amazing things, circumstances and people and I’m committed to if I can’t help someone that I don’t hurt them.

Some people go their entire lives not knowing the damage they are capable of, or that they caused and/or they don’t care and while all humans hurt another, some do on a major scale without remorse.

I’m many things that I don’t particularly love, but am grateful that I’m NOT that.

And I’m not an evil coward. I help when I can and stay to myself otherwise, and that in my circumstances, has to be enough.

Even though it really isn’t.

How could it be???

But it is what it is….

Note: Anything that’s not constructive to me or anyone else, will be published.

 

Advertisements

A really important warning for those who exercise at an athletic level or strive to, in really hot weather that you can actually DIE from doing that….

35982_151128858237855_7548685_n
(Picture of me, circa either 2004,2005 or 2006)

Important Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained medical professional i.e. a physician. Nor am I a currently licensed as a Certified Personal Trainer like I was from 2005-2007.

When it comes to exercise at any time for any human being, should be cleared for exercise by a physician who treats you in person and it still could help when starting out to those who are professional athletes, to still get evaluated, supervised and advised by Certified Personal Trainers and/or Exercise Physiologists.

But the reason why I am writing this blog and why I think my opinion is still needed as a former trainer, will be clear, from a medical activist point of view. Thanks!!!

***

There is a lot of things I used to do, both cardio and strength training to get that above body, 15 years ago.

The one thing I did NOT do once I started working out at an athletic level both before and after getting my certification, as a personal trainer,  was work out outdoors during a heat wave.

It had NOTHING at the time to do with the fact I had already had gastric bypass complications and issues with really bad labs, super low blood pressure and reactive hypoglycemia and those pesky gastrointestinal bleeds, as the endorphin high alone, was worth my workouts.

It had everything to do with the fact, that I knew that in addition to having to worry about increased risk dehydration and heat stroke, I also knew that it could increase my risk for exercise induced hyponatremia, that I couldn’t necessarily self diagnose, even with formal training, when in that state.

And I wasn’t going to risk it.

It’s a whole new different world now and I can understand in the digital era and in times of influencers, the multitude of reasons why people stay pretty faithful to their fitness regimens, to keep up with their fitness goals.

What I don’t understand is why anyone has to do that in extreme weather, OUTSIDE, when professional athletes have died in camp workouts and during marathons during heat waves.

And a former NFL Super Bowl champion Mitch Petrus died last Thursday night due to heatstroke, after working during the day outside.

SO, this is why I am gently reminding people that it’s not safe to be super active, even for those who are athletic when it’s super hot out  and it could potentially be fatal.

But again, we are in a different era than when I was in my fitness heyday, that’s why I’m chiming in as someone’s who’s currently a fat former disabled activist who’s credentialing as a CPT lapsed more than 12 years ago.

We live in a digital society that people think it’s okay to shame people for being fatter or thinner than they should be in the digital era, where thousands of people at once, can be subjected to hatred on what they look like.

I didn’t want to write this blog, truthfully.

I am better suited to activism where in the case where heat stroke could be a threat to vulnerable people without a voice, need to hear about the warnings.

But the public, law enforcement and media is doing a good job informing them of that.

Unfortunately, I and no one else should think that there is privilege in a case where people are able to execute actions that could be fatal to them, regardless of where they fall on the socio-economic and fitness level spectrum.

And hyponatremia is just not talked about as much as it should be.

So hear/here is your warning, if you want or choose to start or maintain some kind of fitness goals for yourself and do that when it’s oppressively hot outside, actually outside, do what you need to do, but heed the disclaimers above, that it could be fatal to you, regardless of how physically fit one is.

OR find an air conditioned place to exercise in.

Certain signs that the body gives should be heeded when in distress.

Feeling nauseous, lightheaded, headache regardless of temperature should ALWAYS be a sign to stop a workout or any kind of activity outside regardless of temperature.

The issue where exercise induced hyponatremia gets tricky, is usually it happens in those who knows about the dangers of dehydration and heatstroke, when working out when it’s super hot outside, but don’t realize that being overly hydrated can cause EIH and it can have devastating consequences, such as cardiac, renal and neurological failure, if not death.

The chance of it happening to you?

Highly unlikely.

Probably the same or less as needing a gastric bypass reversal or injuring your rotator cuff on a “Baby Annie” when testing out to get a certification  ( one has to have a certification in CPR, before testing out for a certification as  personal trainer, and because as a parent, I just got recertified in CPR and First Aid for babies, children and adults in that era, as I had a young child in home ), both things which have happened to me.

That doesn’t mean it’s not worth a warning that it’s not necessary to work out when it’s super hot outside and that we need to discuss this more.

So that innocent people don’t die / aren’t catastrophically changed physically and cognitively, as this is completely preventable, as far as when and where to work out is concerned.

And I make no apologies for wanting and wishing that a lot of heavy duty marathons/intense exercise events weren’t in the middle of Summer.

There is no privilege in anyone, if they are dead!!!

So let’s at least have a conversation about it, ok?

Note: Anything that’s NOT constructive, will NOT be posted.

Also Note: You aren’t going to convince me that a special population of people, i.e. like people who are Obese who want to work out need to in any circumstances, like highlighted above, because their Obesity is more immediately urgent to rectify.

So, don’t go there, OK???

 

 

 

limited legacy…

images

Important Disclaimers: This blog will be combination of both personal and to achieve an activism goal. I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in matters of law enforcement or public safety.

If you or someone you know is in medical or mental health crisis, at danger of hurting one’s self or another, please seek acute professional in person help in a proper facility or contact 911 and/or emergency services in your country (half my readers aren’t in North America). Thanks.

“If you want something done, give it to a busy person…” -My Mother

I haven’t blogged for awhile.

The one thing I’m NEVER now in the last 11 years is busy.

Doesn’t mean I am still not doing some kind of work with my advocacy in situations that are life and death for someone like I do with my blog and those who are in crisis medically and or mentally due to gastric bypass issues, because I still am doing that.

But I am profoundly sad in a lot of ways, even though I know how lucky I am.

My maternal grandfather passed away exactly 50 years ago, today.

My Mother who was 21 and pregnant at the time with me and both my parents who had in common that they were the 4th and final children of mothers who had them in their early 40s.

On both sides of my family, maternally and paternally my grandparents and those before them and since, raised productive positive good loving people with good intentions.

Obviously, I’m somewhat of an anomaly, other than I haven’t been in really any legal trouble, when I worked, I worked. I was what I was until I wasn’t, as far as being a loving present never married single mother.

I’ve tried to explain the best I can and will continue to do so, as long as it’s constructive to myself, those I love the most and others whether they have or  may not have the words or ability to identify how they feel when living and or nearly dying from an unprecedented, interrupting/interrupted and inconvenient life circumstances to ourselves and others lives.

It would probably surprise most people for someone in my case, where I identify as a medical, mental health and suicide prevention activist that I don’t personally think about much life or death with all this time I never expected to have.

However, I think about my legacy, a lot.

I think what I want for those I love the most, personally.

I think about what I want for human beings, as an activist and am able to act on it more, as far as being a blogger activist is concerned.

I could be okay with my legacy being the wordy reversed chick with medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities who tried to make sure what was the most painful and life changing about my issues that had consequences for others, wasn’t in vain, if I wasn’t a mother and a daughter who did that.

I don’t cry very often.

But I did early this morning, cry while  thinking of my Mom who’s had to spend most of her adult life without her father, as my maternal grandmother died at the age of 98, who’s spent her whole life while people are alive and when they are gone, of doing the right thing by them and having to have an adult daughter who faltered the way I did.

I cried for my son and my daughter in law, her mother and my potential in the future grandchildren ,as my daughter in law’s mom passed due metastatic breast cancer, a little a month after her 49th birthday, 8 1/2 months ago and she was a wonderful mother, mother in law,  sister, daughter, aunt and friend and she would’ve been an amazing grandmother to grandchildren that she never got to live to see and positively love on them.

I cried for my son and daughter who do have a mother who’s still living but has had to apologize for bad things I did and good things that they deserved that I never did or could not continue doing.

And while my ability to articulate that to them, as well as others who are complete strangers helps the strangers to them, more than it helps the ones I love the most, is a mixed blessing.

I’ve talked more the little I’m on social media about my advanced health care directive and having a DNR/DNI request and a body bequeathment to the hospital I had my gastric bypass and reversal and that I will talk more about on here, in the future.

I think more conversation needs to happen about personal life and death wishes and/or requests that aren’t rooted in suicidal ideation, addiction, extreme adversity and/or mental health in our society.

I’m not digressing.

Legacy is literally about what you leave to others.

I don’t want to have a non, bad or long life.

It’s bad enough I’ve really have never finished anything I’ve started.

I don’t want to have an irrevocable  bad legacy that does absolutely nothing positive for the ones I love the most now and the ones they will love in the future, who I would’ve loved had I been here, without me being here to see it or positively affect.

I guess while I try to figure out what I can realistically do for those I love and what I’m going to leave them with , I can try and start a discussion and safe place for people who think about legacy, that is and isn’t monetary or in my case isn’t even tangible.

Anyways, this is my musings about life, love and legacy.

Feel free to share yours, if you want.

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not be reduced by them”- Maya Angelou

Note: Anything NOT constructive will be published.

Blog being published while it’s still the July 13th, 2019 here in the United States.

 

 

How to help those who are suicidal when they DO NOT want anyone to know that they are….

(Reposting/Reblogging, exactly one year after original publication, as I made some small but important edits and it’s one of the top 5 blogs of mine that’s read of all time in the almost 6 years I’ve been blogging about Suicide Prevention)

inspirational quotes suicidal person Best of lost black and white depressed depression sad suicidal suicide

1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Hotline
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
http://www.befrienders.org (for people who live outside the U.S)

Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained professional in medical or mental health issues. I will always urge someone if they or someone they love is capable of hurting and/or killing themselves or others, to seek immediate professional help in appropriate acute facility or call 911 or emergency services in your country of residence.
***

Because of the type of activism I do, when people talk about those who they love who’s depression was fatal to them, the hardest answer I have to give (see above disclaimer) as a non professional, is when they tell me that the loved one did that and there were no clear cut signs.

In fact, they seemed happy or at peace.

I’m not the only mental health activist I’m sure to point one tragically heartbreaking thing to admit, to those who’ve never struggled with suicidal ideation, can’t comprehend.

If someone you love or care a lot about, has been struggling with severe depression and even regardless if they’re on medications and have been evaluated and are actively seeking treatment, is still struggling and then all of a sudden, they seem so much better, one of the most hard things to understand is that they can APPEAR to be doing okay, if not great.

That happens because for some and some people between illness and depending on how much suffering they are going through and how well they hide it are happy, not because they are getting help, but because they’ve decided to end their suffering, once and for all.

(Important Note: I’m going to stop here, on purpose, I had written the above, YESTERDAY and had  felt this was going to get too  wordy, when I woke up this morning, I found out that another celebrity this week,  had died by suicide.

The sad irony is, this blog I only attempted to start writing yesterday, after seeing a psychologist interviewed on CNN where she discussed missed signs of the suicidal, but didn’t address this one. I’m in NO WAY discounting the importance of clinically trained professional help or input. And CNN did do a better job of suicide awareness on their website today, due to a loss of an admired contributor of theirs today, due to suicide)

What again, is that sign???

The person seemed HAPPY.

People who are balanced and genuinely happy, their depression doesn’t become fatal for them, at least at risk of it being caused by their own despair and then their own action that leads to their death.

The bizarre phenomena of why people miss this in suicidal loved ones who don’t want anyone to know that they’re suicidal, is because they mistake relief for happiness.

Or sadly and it’s hard to explain to those who aren’t or haven’t ever been suicidal, they ARE actually happy,  because they know their suffering is going to end, because they’ve specifically made a plan and usually means and a date and they are relieved, if not overjoyed to know their suffering is going to end.

It’s also compounded with the trickiness of even the most mentally balanced person who still suffers mental illness and/or from severe depression and anxiety, of NOT wanting having to hear of all the reasons why it’s NOT okay to take their life/die from suicide/depression being fatal to them and they go out of their way to show their doing okay, if not great, because they either in lapse of ration of their own wellbeing and  don’t want to hear it and/or people don’t know how to help them, so they don’t ask because they don’t know how or what to say, if they’re in trouble and they’re too afraid of the potential ramifications should they be honest of how devastatingly depressed and devoid of hope that they are experiencing.

And again, while no one is to blame if someone’s depression is deadly to themselves, if they’ve heard another, say “suicide is the easy way out” or anything that could cause further depression and guilt, those of us who know people who feel that way, are less likely to share how much they’re unbearably hurting inside.

And the stigma is bad enough, it’s worse in people who are suicidal and are a parent, where it’s thought even more so to be the ultimate act in selfishness.

I’m not trying to make an argument for someone to die from suicide, I’m trying to explain for those who NEVER have thought about it, why some people die that way or why some of us TRIED, even though we have loved ones that we were going to leave behind.

There is a time sensitivity to this blog, as usually when there is celebrity suicides, such as what happened this week and with Robin Williams, there’s an increase in non celebrity suicide deaths.

In this case, I’m going to concentrate on just a major few of many,  major factors with some people and it usually is a factor in both, when it comes to celebrities and/or high powered people or even just people from all socioeconomic factors, who die due to their depression being fatal to them.

They just lost a loved one either by death or breakup and/or have suffered some form of rejection (i.e. job loss and/or negative change (real or irrationally perceived) in social status) and they don’t get help because of stigma and/or they don’t think their suffering isn’t going to end without them dying.

 

I need to be clear, again,  it’s no one’s fault, when people die this way, as far as death by suicide, when a relationship ends and/or any of the factors that play into their depression becoming fatal for someone.

As unfortunately some people, will not risk being exposed to any kind of psychological intervention and know how to masterfully hide their suffering and that they are at risk for their depression being fatal to to them because they absolutely cannot see any other path out of their pain.

This is a universal issue that can unfortunately anyone can and unfortunately HAS become victim to, regardless of socioeconomics, race, religion and political affiliation.

We can only try our best to continually remind those we care about we are available in good times and in bad, but sometimes we don’t miss signs, whether it be loved ones or professionals, because there wasn’t any signs to miss, no matter how hard we try to help those with life threatening depression that could be fatal to themselves, if not others as well.

Note: Anything that’s not constructive to my readers or myself, will NOT be published.

Additional Note: Blog originally published 6-8-2018

 

An Open Letter to #EmmanuelAranda , the man who likes assaulting people at #MallofAmerica …

1555163292138_20190413_084133

Important Disclaimers: This blog is trying to provide some kind of controlled and constructive, albeit maybe not the most conventional way for those of us who are heartbroken at what happened at the Mall of America, yesterday.

We can only hope that justice is served in a court of law, we can’t fault everyone or suspect everyone, who looks like the man who was charged with this crime.

One of my most read blogs EVER, was about a local police killer, white and who probably had the most violent and active criminal histories ever, before he became homicidal.

IF, you find it in your heart to forgive someone, so be it, also if you don’t like profanity, please don’t read.

***

Yo Emmanuel,

Hopefully you’ll never read this, that you’ll end up fucking rotting in a prison for the rest of your fucking pathetic miserable life.

This ain’t for you, this is for everyone, who’s heartbroken for the 5 year old boy you might have potentially killed and his family, their family friends, our community, as I’m sure for many of   those of us who woke up, checked the news to see if there was any answers about the little boy, but such is in my case, just found that they released your name.

And to my horror, I saw when I checked your criminal history,  which is free, legal, public and online, as it applies to the State of Minnesota, you did something like this before.

You were on probation, for an assault, I’m assuming at the Mall of America, due to the terms of your probation.

I guess we can only hope justice is served better, this time, as it applies to what you did yesterday.

Hopefully, when you have to answer to that family, where there is still so much unknown, which should remain that way for the public, while physicians valiantly try to save this little boy’s life.

The thing is though, you’ll never have the right answer, regardless if you’re capable ever of feeling remorse for what you did and it’s kind of fucking hard to believe that you would, given the fact this wasn’t your first assault and your victim was 5 years old.

I just needed to get this off my chest, while I continue to pray for your victim and his family, I even pray for your family.

I am just NOT  praying for you.

And I’m also praying that for whatever vile reason that made you commit such a heinous act of violence, doesn’t create more violence towards any innocent person, given the degree of instability and savageness, in our society, now.

Note: I make no apologies for what I say. I use words sometimes, strongly, because I can get away with that, to vent, I have no sponsors with this blog, I don’t have a job that I have to worry about being fired from.

If you saw the search terms that people find my blog, it’s one thing to vent when a tragedy happens, it’s another when you see people who find the things I write about for the wrong reasons, which as an activist and blogger, I’m trying to PREVENT these tragedies or in rare cases, in a “vent” blog, give people ways to constructively express their sadness and their anger when tragedies like this occur.

I can’t be clearer, that this crime needs to be prosecuted in a court of law. That the issue with the defendant has to be with what he did, not what he looked like.

Please choose your words thoughtfully if you choose to respond. Thanks.

Thoughts and prayers don’t prevent non gun violence, either….

73a3e6088945a2ff31a0d617c84fafb3

Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor trained in law enforcement or public safety.

If you or anyone you know, is a danger to yourself or others, please contact emergency services.

I didn’t bother watching much of the news nationally, today.

It was a heartbreaking day, locally.

First that hit the news, was a 24 year old man, pushed or threw (investigation being ongoing, there’s not much information being released, yet)  a 5 year old boy he didn’t know from the 3rd floor to the first floor at Mall of America, where the child is reported to be in critical condition.

In greater Minnesota, a 36 year old father set fire to his house today, killing his 2 youngest children who were toddlers, his other 2 children who were 9 and 7 are in the hospital and the father is in critical condition.

I’m just going to concentrate on today’s events here locally regarding children that were murdered  by family or an attempted murder by a stranger.

We need more initiatives that can help people realize that everyone, regardless of age has a right to a peaceful and violence free life.

These 2 isolated incidents had 5 victims, 2 of them dead, all under the age of 10 years old.

I keep internally debating on whether or not that empathy for others who are different can be taught, that people who have severe mental illness diagnosed or not can have more initiatives in place for education on how important the sanctity of life is and if people can’t see that for themselves, that they do not infringe in any way in everyone’s right to have a healthy peaceful life without all this violence that is now happening on a daily basis, locally, nationally and around the world.

The victims, their families (although truthfully I’m not praying for that father), friends and communities, are in my thoughts and prayers.

With my own disabilities, I can’t do more than bring awareness of the urgent need for more resources and initiatives in place.

And the urgent need for people to check in one another, as well as having more initiatives and if one feels that they are in danger of hurting themselves and others, that they get the help they need for themselves and/or others, so that more of these tragedies can be prevented.

Editorial Note: Blog published while it’s still April 12th, 2019 here in Minnesota.

An Open Letter to Meghan McCain…

5b807e2d8ea82f32008b587b-750-374

Dear Meghan, (not that I ever expect “open letter” type of blogs to make it to the famous people, that I write to, it’s more of putting it out to the universe, in hopes to help while I still hope to retain my privacy as a reclusive introverted activist and private person).

I saw today’s clip of The View on You Tube, and it’s hard not to feel your pain, when topics regarding cancer come up, such as the interview with Ricki Lake.

It’s also hard, if one is stupid enough like I am, to read the comments such as today and in past interviews where your grief is still so raw but so understandable.

I think of your dad, often.

I feel bad because some of the reasons why I miss John McCain are purely selfish.

Our country needs him, now more than ever.

There would’ve never been a good time for him to pass, in that regard.

But it goes beyond my scope of comprehension of the loss that you feel but so bravely show, that you show that people have to grieve the loss of their most beloved on their own terms and there are those of us, even if we can’t comprehend the magnitude of your loss, admire that bravery and immense love you have for your Dad.

The one thing that was crystal clear, that your Dad was so proud of all his children.

Another was that he trusted you would find your own path and would be of greatness unique to you, as much great that you’ve already done, that there was more greatness in you, to come out, as you grow even more into the wonderful woman that you are.

I believe that you will be a part of what’s needed to find a cure and less invasive treatments for Glioblastoma, like Joe Biden has, with the tragic loss of his son, Beau.

I believe that will only though be a part of what amazing legacy and wonderful things you will do, you’ve already showed that people can be conservative but with somewhat of an open mind, not seeing conservatism in black and white, you’ve already accomplished so much with that.

My objective with writing this, is that just like your Dad was a one of a kind national treasure, you are an an amazing woman with a lot of gifts, your intelligence, your inner and out beauty, your love and your loyalty and passion to do the right thing and to do so, in front of a global audience which can be so difficult when there is so much hate in this world, something I hope you can not let deter you from being you, which I don’t think it can and doing what you feel is right, that will continue to help make the world a better place.

Not just because of your amazing father, but because of who you are, Meghan McCain.

Peace, Lisa

Tag Cloud