It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for November, 2018

What #Thanksgiving Should REALLY Be About…

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Important Disclaimers: I’m not a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, I have absolutely no training in public safety and law enforcement, I will always urge those who are in crisis or have loved ones who are, who could be capable of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services, immediately.

I’m NOT happy this Thanksgiving.

Which is OKAY.

What I am though is grateful, humble and have a desire to help others, even if it’s not in a monumental way, given my purposefully limited presence on social media.

It’s been a brutal year for so many that I know and don’t know, in losses of things and most importantly people, by many ways and for many reasons.

And my heart as a human hurts for those people and their loved ones, who’ve lost their lives, their livelihoods and their homes.

And if you’re similar to me, regardless of reasons, what I lost in the last coming years and it isn’t getting better and is actually getting worse, is my peace of mind.

That doesn’t mean I don’t possess emotionally stability and mental fitness, because I do.

I’ve spent the last year especially working on that, as well as what I do as an activist and little else.

Circumstances in the last year, led me to ignore the external about myself and rather fight a losing battle about what I look like, at least at this time in my life, led me to do that and I’m so grateful for that because if I have to feel that I can be a prisoner in some ways of others choices that can negatively impact another and circumstances within myself that I can’t control medically, it’s reinforced my commitment that if I can’t help someone, that I’m supersensitive to the fact that I don’t hurt them.

STOP.

Okay, so I started the above a few hours and went to take a break.

Coming back to write this again, more reinforced in the direction that this blog was meant to be in the first place and that is gratitude for people and the intangible good things.

I’m spending this holiday alone, and I’ll just say somewhat on purpose, because the reasons don’t matter.

The contradiction of what this holiday is supposed to mean, is in great abundance in my emails, I don’t dare look for it anywhere else on the internet.

Emails like “Happy Thanksgiving, Alissa!!! Start your Black Friday shopping, NOW”, all eight trillion of them.

I get business is business and I don’t think commercialism or capitalism is bad in itself.

I think it’s getting muddied though in the social media era, when people became brands themselves or when it became purposely that brands tried to become “peoplish”.

And for my sake, I’m not going to make that worse by being on social media, even though I’m blessed with great supportive people I’ve found because of it.

I don’t need a holiday to remind to be grateful for what is good.

I remember ten years ago, like when I didn’t have anything, including my freedom in addition to having medical health issues that make it no small miracle that I’m still alive for the last 8 years.

That’s probably why, knowing how lucky I am, in so many ways that I don’t ever forget, being grateful for my loved ones, my freedom, having my basic needs met that I didn’t think ten years ago, life could get more scary but it has.

I’m not talking about just me but for so many, where as we get further along, we get more backwards in ways that matter the most.

Unfortunately, it just seems like it doesn’t matter or it matters less, about who and what you are on the inside and/or what you can do to help others, as much as it matters of what you look like on the outside and what you have.

That’s our new normal, though and that I find terrifying and calling that out on a day that we are supposed to be grateful for what we have and with our loved ones, isn’t sacred anymore, feels icky but necessary.

Because people are being conditioned to be more concerned what others are doing, what they look like when they are doing it, what they have and what they will acquire and being focused on that is not only diminishing who we are as people, but who we are as a society.

I’m sad for those who have experienced awful losses this year and I admire those who have and still have managed to find the good even though I can still feel sympathy for those who are stuck because of their tremendous losses and can’t see the good and are saddened.

I’m grateful to the people who sacrifice their personal lives, if not their actual lives to protect us and help us.

Everyone has a gift that’s unique to them, that’s intangible that they could either use to help themselves and or others, I hope people who can’t see that about them, that they finally are able to identify it and use it to help themselves and/or others for greater good.

And it’s not bad nor does it make someone bad, if they need a reminder that anything that has a dollar amount, isn’t what’s most invaluable to us.

It’s who and how we love and doing that and/or trying harder to do that with kindness, is what really matters.

That’s what I’m going to be concentrating on this Thanksgiving, as well as I do in my daily life.

Lastly, I’m in no way saying it’s bad or that people are superficial for liking things and loving social media.

But, it could help anyone and everyone to take a moment, get off your phones, tell the people who you are grateful for that you are and if you’re not with them, let them know that. Often.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Note: Anything not constructive will NOT be published!!!

 

Well, I guess we all KNOW Victoria’s Secret, NOW!!!

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(above pics of me taken 10-8-2016 DT East Miniapple in my ‘hood)

I know this is going to be shocking to Victoria’s Secret and L Brands management, but most of us larger women had  ALREADY known that Victoria’s Secret doesn’t love heavier women.

I just don’t know why Ed Razek , their CMO actually had to be so cavalier in admitting, specifically, in addition to calling out transwomen or what I just prefer to call them, women(which he did end up  rightfully apologizing to them), I guess us fatties are going to waiting awhile.

Above VS Angel tickertape oversized hoodie (in a size XL) that  I’m wearing in picture, when I bought it online in 2016, at the age of 45 1/2 and truthfully it’s nothing short of a miracle it fit me and I was a size 12 on average (I’m much larger now, that though will be a topic of another blog) and nothing else at the time, from VS would have.

I’ve always been fond though of their fragrances at both Victoria’s Secret AND Bath and Body Works.

I’ve always joked around that if I couldn’t be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, I could at least smell like one.

I’ve also less funny, privately have said, that Victoria’s Secret would have Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson prance down that runway before he’d let the gorgeous Ashley Graham, do so.

I think all body shaming is despicable, whether someone falls on the smaller or larger side of the spectrum.

And in my case, super relatable, where in the last 14 years I’ve been anywhere from a misses XS to a women’s 4x.

Other true body diversity activists like myself will call any kind of body shaming, including thin shaming, no one needs a CMO of huge organization to distract from hurtful rationales that he is spewing, of talking about his models being body shamed for being thinner, to excuse his disgust for those of us who are on the larger side.

The only thing is where I would NEVER call out for a boycott for any kind of conglomerate, is that I’ve been to the VS stores in Mall of America and other local suburbs and they ACTUALLY employ plus size women.

It’s one thing to not empower those women with not making clothing in their size, but to say it in the way he did, is inexcusable, especially given the fact the thought to apologize to one population of people but another, weren’t worthy of one.

As he owed an apology to all women, actually to anyone who buys anything from VS, who could be offended with horrible rhetoric, PERIOD!!!

I’m NOT though, throwing out the cute hoodie or all the stuff I love that I’ve bought at B&BW over the last few years.

But, I personally am not spending another dime in an L Brand owned store, either.

It’s too bad, as I have in the last few years been watching the VSFS and I love the music  that I’ve found due to the shows and some of the segments were really beautiful, as far as models and outfits.

It’s one thing to just cater a store to a certain population of people, that most of us have always understood, that.

But once you shame a population who could still shop at the store for things that are not restricted to size, well the shame ain’t on us.

It’s on you L Brands and your executive marketing team, who should’ve answered that question way less hurtfully, not just for your customers, but for your actual employees.

Regardless of age, weight or gender identification…

Note: Anything  that could be hurtful to ANY population of people, will NOT be published. So save and spare me (and everyone else)  your hate. Thanks!!!

 

 

 

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