It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for the ‘violent crime prevention’ Category

The horrible messages that society and the media SHOULD NOT be promoting, when discussing Harvey Weinstein, rapists, rape victims, assault and sexual harassment….

http://www.rainn.org

Trigger Warnings: If you or someone you know is in danger of hurting someone else, please seek acute medical/mental health treatment and or contact law enforcement. If you’ve been a victim of rape or sexual harassment know that in addition to the links above, that there are multiple avenues of support for people to get support and recover from the trauma physically and mentally that this can cause, if in acute need, please get acute help from a professional, in an appropriate setting. The same could be said, though if it happened a long time ago and have decided to get support, now.

Goddamn it!!!

I didn’t want to  have to write this blog. I thought for how much discussion about rape and sexual harassment was being discussed by public figures I adore, I wouldn’t have to say the following, below.

That someone I’d adore who’s in the public eye,would bring this up, but sadly that hasn’t been the case, so here we go…

I like most people (and being an activist who tries to remove stigma) has been horrified like most decent people, when it came out that Harvey Weinstein, a powerful Hollywood mogul had raped, sexually assaulted and harassed multiple women for decades, both actresses, female reporters and other women have now come forward.

Since the story broke, it’s leading to a very necessary dialogue we have to have as a society regarding rape and sexual harassment, both in the workplace and out of it.

It’s easy to go for the jugular, or in this case, above and below Harvey Weinstein’s  neck, as far as making derogatory statements that are justified about what he did, but also what he looks like.

And that is the REASON for this blog. In seeing in the media the jokes about his looks and his weight, sends a HORRIBLE multi-complex message, to perpetrators and victims alike, that while his money and power was something that allowed him to get away with despicable crimes he perpetuated on his victims,for decades. And if the looks and fat shaming of a rapist, if that reasoning for hate on rapists or murderers existed, exclusive to that population, ALONE, I probably wouldn’t lose much sleep at night, but it isn’t and that mindset hurts millions of innocent people regardless of their size.

Let me explain.

As it  sends a very misguided and dangerous message that only not attractive men are perps in these horrible crimes but that only conventionally attractive or beautiful women can ONLY be victims.

Rape and sexual harassment can have victims of both women and men. That isn’t being questioned. It shouldn’t be perpetuated in any form that someone who is not considered by society’s stringent standards of beauty, that people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive aren’t victims.

We saw this exemplified last year, when women spoke out against Donald Trump, who had said to the effect of “Look at her, like I’d even want that?!?!”.

I’m in no way wanting to change the good that’s coming out of the national dialogue about rape and sexual harassment both in the workplace and outside of it.

It just needs to be expanded on and it needs to include that we have to have to establish and educate that both rapists and their victims can be of all ages, all genders and all shapes, sizes, personal and professional relationships and within consideration of what’s considered attractive and in all socio-economic backrounds.

That we need to educate people on how to get help for their predatory violent behavior and have resources in place for that, in helps for prevention.

We have to have more resources and a safer and evolved society that realizes that there are victims of all ages, genders, races, religions and shapes and sizes.

And to start this education, from the time people are young.

I remember when I was 25, as a young mother participating in Early Childhood Family Education, that we once watched a video, about “Stranger Danger” of how to teach our children that you cannot go by the way someone looks, to determine whether or not is a danger. I really wish something like that existed now, where it’s more needed than ever.

When I was raped, at the age of 26,  I didn’t say anything because I was fat single mother of 1 and my rapist was someone who was considered attractive, as well as accomplished.

I didn’t think anyone would believe me and in my life, other than a blog or two, where I only started mentioning it, was because a rape victim, who was victimized repeated at a young age by her brother, had gone viral.

I only personally healed from that, unconventionally, because I spared myself further trauma by NOT talking about it. Because I could chalk up my rapist as an asshole, as in my case, he didn’t know anything but my name and my phone number. I couldn’t have beared to put what I went through out there to the  people who I care about and risk whatever unsupportive thing they may have had to say about it.

And that’s AWFUL, as it applies to me. And I can’t be the only person who’s had to have that mindset.

I feel obviously then, heartbreakingly awful for the victims of any rape, incest, physical assault and sexual harassment. I think that the bravery of Harvey Weinstein’s victims or anyone who comes forward is commendable, but also and his victims stories and his heinous actions, have to be the start of a much more comprehensive dialogue on rape and rape victims, where ALL victims of rape,incest  and sexual harassment can safely tell their experiences and have the opportunity for support and healing.

But we can’t make inroads of prevention of rape,incest  and sexual harassment without more resources for discussing openly on the complex multi-faceted why people rape and sexual harass without blaming their victims and to have treatment options before they ever offend. That perpetrators and victims are of all ages, genders, sexual preference, races, religion, socio-economics, individual perceptions of attractiveness and shapes and sizes.

Note: I have both as an activist and a personal investment in the reasons that played in the need for me to write this blog. If you want to find out how much hate there is, towards unconventional people who are victims of rape and physical assault, try looking for a meme, like I did, before writing this blog.

It’s a bunch of hateful bullshit that makes mockery of the idea of rape in people who aren’t considered conventionally attractive fat or thin. That’s hurtful to any human being who’s been violated physically and/or emotionally with rape and harassment and it hurts everyone.

Additional Note/Clarification/Edited after receiving anonymous hate:

I didn’t realize I had to spell out what happened to me, personally, of what I define as rape. I normally don’t do this, because not only do I have parents on the internet, so are my children.

I met someone unfortunately in their home, on 1/1/1996, a blind date, that was supposed to lead to going out to lunch. I realized the very second, I walked into that man’s home, that I made a mistake, it was a gut instinct and said I had a headache and needed to go home. He forcefully  grabbed by the arm and said I wasn’t going anywhere. I said please no, but I didn’t fight him, because he said he wouldn’t hurt me if I gave him what he wanted and kept  quiet.

So the specifics of my rape was forceful vaginal and anal penetration that led to bleeding and oral that led to gagging that I held back my vomit, to not further upset him. Did he beat me up or cause any further injury other than when he grabbed my arm and then physically violated me, that way? NO. When he was done, he said I could go and I left.

I couldn’t cry or show being upset, right after it happened,  either, when I left, because I had to pick up my 2 1/2 year old son, who was being babysat by my parents. I couldn’t cry or be upset, when I got home, because I didn’t want to upset my son. I went to work the next day and went on with my life. I was NOT okay, for the first 6 months afterwards, but I couldn’t show it.

This is what I mean when and why people are afraid go forward with their stories about rape and sexual assault. IF a woman is attractive, she’s asking for it. Or there’s many other consequences such as the victims of Harvey Weinstein, have showed why those women didn’t say anything.

If she’s not considered attractive and deemed unfuckable, by most people, it’s not believable an attractive accomplished man would do that. And if both attractive people and people who aren’t considered attractive, they get blamed should they press charges, if the charges stick and they are put on trial, right along with the people who commit these crimes. And it’s worse now that victims get tried in the court of social media.

Unless people are more evolved and understand the dynamics of rape and sexual harassment. It’s about humiliation. It’s about power, regardless of socio-economics. Rapists and sexual harassers can be parents, they can be children of any age, they can be family members, spouses and significant others, they can be doctors, teachers, fellow students, friends, police officers, members of the clergy of any religion, among many other populations.

I guess if someone felt the need to question in a derogatory way, I hope they only chose me. I hope they realize the harm, because it wasn’t asked in an innocent way, that I don’t choose to talk about the specifics of it normally, the little I do now, as an activist who works with people who have PTSD issues as a result of both childhood and adult trauma, because it isn’t helpful to either myself or who I’m trying to help as I don’t want people in medical and mental health crisis, to have to worry about me, as well as what I said about my parents and my kids being on the internet.

So whoever felt that need to do that, congratulations for not being a rapist or someone who’s capable of violent crime.

You still are an asshole that could work on your regard and trying to have empathy or at least apathy, for human beings, because if you can’t be part of the solution, don’t try to make people’s problems worse for them!!!

Advertisements

There’s NO social media in Heaven…

(I’m reblogging this blog from 2015,  as a result of the 2017 Las Vegas massacre, and because I don’t have the right words and resources to address that personally and because I still believe in the sentiment shared in this blog….My thoughts and prayers are with anyone and everyone affected by this current horrific tragedy)

Nor is there any social media in HELL…

Because this is a serious blog, as I’m heartsick, like most of the world, due to the horrific Germanwings tragedy, where 150 people died on Tuesday. It’s compounded in the last 72 hours of 2 police officers, who were murdered in the line of duty. SJPD Officer Michael was murdered in San Jose when responding to a suicide call. The other peace officer, Wisconsin State trooper, Trooper Trevor Casper at the age of 21, was murdered when trying to stop a robbery suspect.

I’m not looking for a theological debate whether or not there is an afterlife. The point of this blog is to start a dialogue to prevent more of these senseless tragedies from happening over and over again. And what part, if any, social media has to play in it.

It don’t think it will help to debate what to call what happened with the Germanwings tragedy. I look at it, from my perspective, as a mass murder/suicide, though. Again, I’m not a clinically trained professional of any kind.

I can only hope that, globally, we start initiatives to find out the WHY in past tragedies, which will vary, on how to prevent future tragedies and loss of life.

Meaning that the motivation in each of these murders, may be different. And require a different approach in getting people who need help, to seek it, before they commit these horrific acts of violence.

Where I think social media plays a part in people who need the most serious of interventions, is the fact that the perpetrators of these crimes, gain a lot of attention. Even in death. But in their terribly irrational and/or erratic states or when they snap, they think there is some payoff, because they will get attention for the worst reasons, possible.

Again….Even IF they are DEAD. And if there isn’t a suicide component and/or they aren’t killed upon being captured, they still get horrifically, an additional payoff of being considered newsworthy, all over social media, tv and in print.

I think at best, other than major initiatives for help, is to start with NOT giving violent dead criminals or violent criminals who kill , ANY attention on social media.  It’s feeding into an irrational need for those who have the propensity to be violent, it hurts all of society and it’s disrespectful to their victims.

There’s not much more I can say. I’ve talked about murder/suicides, murder of police officers, as well of how many people are killed either by strangers or loved ones in their daily lives.

I can only hope that government and the best of medical and psychiatric professionals, as well as others who can help given insight, into comprehensive initiatives for prevention of these tragedies and help for those who are capable of killing people and violent harm.

But again, it bears repeating. The fastest way to help, until initiatives are in place is to STOP giving criminals all this media attention.

Note: Again, if someone is in medical or mental health crisis, of any kind or someone you know, PLEASE seek immediate professional attention from an acute care facility and/or law enforcement.

SAMSHA’s Disaster Distress Helpline: 1-800-985-5990
http://www.nami.org
http://www.befrienders.org
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org 1-800-273-8255

How many MORE people are going to have to DIE , before we can talk about Opioid addiction and other addictions without STIGMA???

(Extremely important disclaimer: I’m NOT  a clinically trained professional. If you or someone you know is in acute medical or mental health crisis, PLEASE seek immediate/acute professional help, in an acute care facility.

Because this blog is about the fact that clinicians are only human and can be in crisis, too, this is WHY I’m pressing for honest dialogue in our society about the Opiate Epidemic and removing the stigma that exists that presents a barrier for so many people being able to get the help they need that hopefully, save their lives)

http://www.cnn.com/2017/5/24/us/drug-counselors-overdose/index.html

Most of my blogs, as of late, have had to do with the opioid epidemic. Some of the blogs, have been out of concern of the war on drugs, having a potential to harm those who use prescription opiates, responsibly, but as a last resort to treating severe chronic pain.

Some of them have included though, the very real crisis that we are in because of opioids both prescription and illegal opiates.

My very last blog (which was extremely wordy, even for me) , had to do with my getting labeled at a an appointment with a pain management specialist, who had labeled me, due to my mental health issues and that I had very temporarily abused opiates, both almost 9 years ago (for 5 days leading up to an intentional overdose with pain meds that had been prescribed for me) and almost 7 years ago for 2 days both situations involved both being in medical AND mental health crisis.

And I’ve discussed those issues ad nauseum, in previous blogs, quite a bit, since I’ve launched this blog, almost 4 years ago.

I also had mentioned in my last blog, that I had done an internet search on that physician, prior to that appointment almost 2 weeks ago and had found that pain management specialist I had seen, in addition to being “pro Butrans”, which I didn’t think was appropriate for me, neither did she, also had nearly had her own medical license suspended due to opioid addiction, less than 2 years ago. And had multiple conditions to be able to continue having her suspsension stayed, by not being able to prescribe controlled substances, let alone be in possession of them.

It was never my intent in my last blog to shame that provider. What I did find offensive, is my history being a barrier in my getting medical care, with bias, because I had been labeled PRIOR to ever being on opiates and as someone who has a very short history that I’m not usually believed by most providers, with temporary drug abuse, just because I have mental health issues and even BEFORE my mental health issues were diagnosed in my late 30’s, just because I was a bariatric surgical patient.

The above link on my blog, that I just came across tonight, was about 2 drug counselors in a addiction facility who overdosed on heroin/fentanyl combination in Pennsylvania on Monday.

I have never not known or acknowledged that the Opioid Epidemic, not only is a VERY real crisis, not just nationally but globally, but that clinically trained medical and mental health professionals, whether they are physicians, drug counselors or any kind of practicing clinician, also can be patients with the propensity to have serious addiction problems that can be fatal, just like to any other human being.

Also, I’ve said as a mental health activist who’s also written multiple blogs about murder/suicide, what I talk about is, NOT the means of how people choose to kill themselves and MURDER others , but the desire to kill to begin with.

It’s not to minimize when I bring up gun control initiatives when talking about that. I say, with being crystal clear, that I’m not a medically or mental health clinically trained professional and/or in public safety or law enforcement professional, that taking away the weapon of choice, isn’t getting to the heart of the matter, when it comes to these tragic deaths.

That if people want to kill, if they can’t get a gun, there are many other ways that they can and WILL find to kill people.

The same applies to drugs, when it comes to addiction. If people even start out honestly because of severe chronic pain or any kind of severe pain, such as surgical or due to an accident  and whether or not,  it becomes their gateway to drug addiction and/or they just go straight to illegal drugs for emotional and or mental health health pain and find a dealer, unfortunately, it’s not always predictable who will find themselves in crisis of life ruining, if not life ending consequences due to that addiction.

Or ANY type of addiction and that’s one of the  the points of this blog. If we can’t talk about the multiple ways and multi-faceted reasons that play into addiction, honestly without stigma, whether it be drugs, alcohol, tobacco, food, social media/internet/phone that present potential for abuse, addiction, the risk to public safety/personal health threats on humans and the fatalities that are occuring , we don’t have a prayer of reducing them.

It’s becoming obvious and it doesn’t take a clinically trained professional to state, that you can’t legistlate away addiction, it can make it only slightly harder to get drug of choice, it doesn’t take away the propensity for addiction, away.

Unfortunately, while it’s a lot easier to identify what barriers we are experiencing as a society when it comes to these threats, it’s a lot harder to find out what it’s going to take to make inroads in reducing addiction and both accidental and intentional overdoses.

But we  can’t just continue to believe it’s the epidemic itself, that’s killing so many people and/or ruining their lives.

Because the truth is, the STIGMA  and reluctance to have an open and honest dialogue is equally to blame.

This can’t continue to be a “don’t do drugs” or “ban all drugs” conversation, as prevention initiatives just aren’t working for so many. I’m in no way discounting them. They have value, it’s just not enough.

It has to become, why we are a globally, humans who can be prone to addictions of different natures that can be life ruining and life ending for almost anyone and everyone, which almost all of us, know someone who’s life has been ended too soon or ruined due to addiction, as well as loved ones who are effected by these crisies.

How many people are going to have to die, until the dialogues start and more initiatives are in place for study of, evaluation and better treatment options of disease of addiction themselves that don’t have the potential to lead to other addictions or other potential serious medical/mental health issues????

Note: I’m hoping this starts an honest dialogue to help. I always appreciate differing opinions if shared respectfully and responsibly.

Any comments that could be potentially triggering or are not constructive, will NOT published.

(Edit Note: Unfortunately, slight edits that were made before publishing didn’t take when blog was posted. It didn’t effect greatly my intention with this blog, just clarifying that I apologize that, it wasn’t as clear as intended it to be, from the start but also with the fact for new readers, I am a disabled blogger who writes about disabilities, in addition to topics like this one, that I feel passionately about)

How many more CHILDREN have to be MURDERED, by their PARENT/S before we try to do something about it???

Note: I’m NOT  a clinically trained professional. In ANY capacity either medically or mentally.  I can’t stress ENOUGH, that if YOU or anyone you know is capable of causing mental or physical harm or death in another, please seek out help from clinically trained professionals and law enforcement, IMMEDIATELY.

Update: 12 hours after I wrote the following, the 911 tape was released where the father admitted to killing his children but letting his wife live to “let her suffer like he has”.
It doesn’t change the need for dialogue about these horrific tragedies and a need for prevention, that’s why I’m not altering in any other way, this particular blog.

I’ve taken a break, obviously from writing about serious matters that mean a lot to me. The reasons don’t matter as much as what I’ve tried to say in the past about homicides  and suicides and their causes and then just reading about ANOTHER one, a few minutes ago.

I was having a  fairly low key weekend for me and while that doesn’t matter from what I’m trying to address in this blog, it matters because I wish I didn’t have to come back as a medical and mental health activist to write a blog about ANOTHER parent killing his children, whether or not when he shot his wife, IF it was an attempt to kill her, which I’m not sure that’s the case, because he made sure his 16 year old twins died and then killed himself, in Illinois, this weekend on Friday.

This is NOT a gender specific blog when it comes to parental murder/suicides . Mothers do kill their children, too. In similar circumstances and for different reasons.

I’m not a clinically trained professional in matters of medical and mental health reasons. If you haven’t ever read a blog written before about me, I’m ALL  about trying to remove stigma, especially as a mother who’s had mental health issues that had consequences on my children, not intentionally, violently or chaotically  or even irrovocably, but it still happened anyways.

Unfortunately, people snap more violently and with irreovocable and tragic consequences in these instances, which are becoming more and more common about a parent/s killing their child or children, the other parent, when going through the ending of a relationship, even if there wasn’t a past history of abuse by that parent, either with their children or their spouse.

And that’s exactly what this blog is about. To start a dialogue to remove stigma to see if there is ANY chance on preventing this from happening over and over again.

While I’m not in a position to give end of relationship advice or parenting advice, I wish that my thinking “Love your children more than HATING their other parent” would work.

Unfortunately, that isn’t probably going to work. And I’m not concentrating in this case, about domestic assault from one partner to another. Not that doesn’t break my heart either, when it comes to adults finding that their love of their loves pose the greatest threat to not only their physical and mental health well being, but their lives.

And for as many resources that are in place for discussion, for resources for the battered physically and emotionally, as well as those who are killed whether they stay or leave their batterer and obviously there’s more need for support for that, too.

It’s obvious we just have a lot more work to do, as a society, as it’s becoming more commonplace for batters to not just kill their partner or the other parent, but to punish in their warped minds, of killing their own children as retribution, if there isn’t multiple reasons that they do that, which I’m sure there is.

But IF there is NO  previous history of battering or domestic violence in deaths of these nature and/or IF there IS, and there IS initiatives to prevent these or start a dialogue about them, we need to know.

And we need to talk about this. NOW. And do something to try and prevent these horrific senseless tragedies from happening, more often, by having major initiatives in place, for prevention of children now being murdered by their parents, during a marital/relationship breakup.

If I’m missing something as a disabled activist, please help me and others by sharing the initiatives that are already in place for evaluation, treatment and help for these families.

IF,  a parent who actually mentally went through a dark period where this was a potential issue for them but somehow, was able to realize the potential of the irrovocable  horrific consequences to their children who loved them the most , but were planning on harming them, but got help or got better someway, maybe they could talk about this, without being stigmatized, to give society, both just regular people and professionals on the mindset that happens in these tragedies but before they happen.

And insight on how, if in ANY way to prevent these from happening, over and over again.

This actually did happen in Minnesota, where I reside, in an upscale suburb in Fall of 2015. Where an upscale business man shot and killed his children, then his wife, before killing himself. I didn’t say anything, because, like today, I still don’t have the right words that can help. I’m only limited as a disabled activist in bringing attention to matters like this. And only to a certain extent.

As much as I hate as a human being, to read of these stories, I can’t imagine what it’s like for these families to die by a parent and that’s their LAST thought, as they take their LAST breaths. I can’t imagine what it’s like for the other parent, knowing that their children are going to die, they may die, they can’t do anything to prevent or protect  or what to me is almost worse, they will live, knowing that their signficant other did this to punish them in the worst way possible that goes beyond the scopes of any and most people’s imagination and worst nightmares.

I hope we can find a way as a society to prevent ANY and ALL domestic violence, as well as deaths. We have a lot of work to do but the best way to start, is NOT to pretend this isn’t happening because it’s just too horrific to think about.

I appreciate any insight or any dialogue that will contribute to trying to prevent these tragedies.

My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their loved ones, in this horrific tragedy and the ones that proceeded.

And IF,  I’m  to be truthful, even though I do advocate for suicide prevention, I don’t have ANY empathy for people who are responsible for homicides then commit suicide.

In this case, I’m not sorry to say, I wish they would just take themselves out and leave the innocents, especially, in cases the innocents who love them more than anything but die because of them.

Also note: You can’t defend those who commit homicide, then suicide to me. Please don’t even TRY . Knock yourself out, if you want to try or feel free and send HATE to me. Better to do that to me, I can take it, I just hope someone wouldn’t be such a miserable piece of crap to do this to the loved ones who have to deal with these horrific but these cannot continue to remain “unspeakable”  tragedies, any longer, other than the news it generates, very shocking but ONLY  temporarily.

Thanks…..

The Dangers of Social Media for Tweens and Teens…..

I’ve seen this video trend for the last 2 days and finally broke down and watched it, yesterday. There’s a ton of trigger warnings with this video, posted above.. But it’s value is priceless, in showing how young children (all this could apply to adults, too!!!) are vulnerable  or even if they aren’t and confident,  but think that they are invincible. And that nothing bad could happen to them.

It scared me to death, for multiple reasons, and I’m 45 and not much shocks me. I’ve already had the discussion with my tween, that someone will need to have her password, when she gets on social media. Whether it be me, my parents or 22 year old brother. Just like I had the same conversation about predators on and off the internet, with her brother about 15 years ago, I had that conversation a few weeks ago, with her.

Also note, You Tube putting to the right, um, of actual porn, I think is horribly inappropriate (at least that’s what I got when I clicked the link and I’m the only one using this computer and I don’t watch porn, personally) so use your own judgment on whether it’s appropriate or not to watch yourself and/or/how you share with your children.

While I think the video showcases, in the way it needs to be, of  how naive parents can be about their children’s ability to have the potential to be harmed by a predator, it could use some elaboration.

I remember over 20 years ago, of attending ECFE classes with my son. During one of the classes we watched a video that highlighted “stranger danger” (the kids were in a different room), and even then, of what children think when thinking of a dangerous stranger “looks like” and how easily they went with someone who didn’t “look scary”. This was focused on younger children.

However, 20 years later, we live in a society of Instagrams and Facebook. And with everyone having an opinion on whether someone is attractive or not. When someone not so conventionally attractive gets arrested, people reiterate that it’s their exterior that’s ugly and, of course, that person was a predator.

It’s a lot more shocking and it shouldn’t be, when someone is considered conventionally attractive and is accused of a violent crime. Especially, when it comes to pedophilia. And it shouldn’t be. I’m not saying that all attractive people are predatory because they aren’t. But vice versa, teaching people, especially children, that they assess a safety risk by a person’s exterior, is NOT something we should be doing.

It’s not something we should be doing regardless of gender and age. Of having children and adults assess, quite inaccurately, of who and what plays a risk in their safety. And WHY…..

The “Instagram Era” that we are now in, isn’t also helping that 12 year olds feel like they have to look like 20 year old super models, to be popular.

The thing is, that this video (which the man who’s responsible for making this video, said yesterday he’s making one that concentrates on boys) does a really good job of saying that predators, have the capacity to get to our children, fairly quickly. That you can’t think just because you’ve done everything right as a parent, and that if your tween or teen has confidence issues, or even if they don’t have confidence issues, that they won’t be a victim to a horrific crime.

Because they could be. In a matter of minutes. If not seconds. This isn’t just a teaching video of a worst case possible scenario. Real life tweens and teens have been violently, if not fatally harmed, from predators who used similar tactics.

So, I’m just elaborating on, if you are going to discuss of the WHAT is so important about this video, that you explain the WHY. And if you don’t understand the why, hopefully the above 5-6  paragraphs, that any parent  shouldn’t have too much confidence (this time you’ll just have to respect the source) as a parent or in your children, not to just check in regularly with them, in all matters that compromise their safety, in the digital era, in a non judgmental setting for them to talk with you, that is comfortable for THEM. And allow your children, IF for some reason, you can’t be that safe person to tell them things, that effect their safety, that you give them an option,of safe adults with respect to their privacy, of who to tell.

I’m normally the last person on the planet,  to give parenting advice.

But in a matter of life or death, or potential violent harm to a child, I haven’t heard anyone talking about the video, of  saying anything more than just “share” the video. Sharing it, isn’t enough. Understanding how for children, for various reasons, a predator can get to a tween or teen IS what’s important. And what they need to do to protect themselves from happening, is of utmost importance.

Note: All comments that are respectful will be published. I’m also a not a  clinically trained professional when it comes to matters of psychiatry, psychology and public safety. Any comments that will elaborate on, the importance of this video or the insights that I made, is most definitely welcomed.  Thanks!!!!

What’s NOT being talked about in the argument for gun control…..

This is another scary blog for me to write, but I believe it needs to be said and hopefully, it will create a dialogue for those of us who both horrified and terrified about all the horrific murders that happen on a daily basis.

There is nothing I’d like to believe more, that regulating guns more, will save innocent lives. If I honestly believed that, I’d be the biggest supporter of gun control. However, for as liberal as I am, this is WHY I don’t believe gun control will help in reducing murder and violent crime.

And the last thing I want to do is offend anyone, let alone, cause more grief in someone who’s lost a loved one who was shot to death and/or has a loved one, if not themselves, who survived a shooting and finds to give purpose to their lives, to advocate for tighter gun control. I don’t want to offend anyone who believes in tighter gun control, PERIOD.

I’m just trying to explain why I don’t believe guns are the problem. And concentrating on one specific weapon, gives people a false sense of security that it will save lives. I’m just trying to explain why, that I don’t believe that to be true.

I think any loss of life or an attempt to kill someone, is a tragic. However, I think instead of all these initiatives or all these resources such as money, time and energy in trying to lobby for tighter gun control, could be better served if it got to the heart of the matter.

That would be  is WHY (and the reasons are various and complex) people feel the need to kill another person and/or commit other acts of violent crime and having initiatives that concentrate on murder and violence prevention.

While I personally don’t know any murderers and I’m not a clinically trained professional in medical and psychiatric matters,  I can best hypothesize though, that if someone wants to kill another person, they aren’t going to change their mind, just because it’s not legal to get a gun.

And I’m obviously aware that I’m NOT the first person to say that.

A person who murders or potential murderer’s or someone who’s predisposed to being violent, their moral code just doesn’t work that way. They don’t have a moral code, obviously. Or they may, but it won’t matter if their thoughts and actions lead to violent harm and/or death of a person or people.

I’m definitely NOT saying that guns don’t scare the HELL out of me, because they do. So do bombs, cars, poisons, intentional fires and airplanes etc.  Because all of them, as well as many other things and even people themselves,  have been used to kill a lot of people at once.

But the scariest thing to me, is NOT the  weapon of choice. It’s the psyche of those who commit violent crime.

What scares me the most and needs to be talked about more, is WHY people KILL in the first place, regardless of the weapon of their choice and having more resources to address that and have initiatives for intervention/evaluation and HOPEFULLY, rehabilitation.

I can’t see the murder and/or other acts of violent crime rate going down, until we realize that a weapon of choice is NOT the problem.

It’s the broken, destructive, warped psyche of the murderers. And social media isn’t helping when it comes to that. If murderer doesn’t die, when they try or attempt to kill or commit other acts of violence against another or a lot of people, so much attention that they get in social media is NOT helping the issue.

It’s actually making it worse. Because anyone capable of violent crime, in their warped minds, feel a sense of reward and/or accomplishment, with all the media attention. Even if they think or actually know they will die, too. I’m not saying someone who’s capable of violent crime, wouldn’t commit it, if we didn’t give so much media attention to the perpetrators of these heinous acts.I just don’t think anyone who’s capable of horrific acts of violence, would think of it as a deterrent, to NOT to commit these acts, because they are afraid of the media attention.

Because they obviously are not afraid of the consequences in anything to do with their heinous acts of violence. If they were, they wouldn’t commit them, in the first place.

I’m honestly hoping this will lead to a constructive dialogue of what needs to change in our society to make it a safer place.

This is what I think. Now, I want to know what you all believe, if you feel you like chiming in. And the reason why, if you want to elaborate. And I don’t mind if you disagree, just keep it respectful.

As always, if you or anyone you know, is in crisis and capable of harming themselves or others, please seek immediate professional guidance and help, whether it be law enforcement and/or assistance from a clinically trained professional.

Note: And as always, I always will welcome debate. Any disrespectful and/or triggering comments, will NOT be posted…. Thanks….

And also note, I NEVER have and would NEVER own a gun. But I would defend someone’s right to carry a firearm, for self protection (and that’s a whole another blog and I’m not getting into that, today, with this blog)

There’s NO social media in Heaven

Nor is there any social media in HELL.

Because this is a serious blog, as I’m heartsick, like most of the world, due to the horrific Germanwings tragedy, where 150 people died on Tuesday. It’s compounded in the last 72 hours of 2 police officers, who were murdered in the line of duty. SJPD Officer Michael was murdered in San Jose when responding to a suicide call. The other peace officer, Wisconsin State trooper, Trooper Trevor Casper at the age of 21, was murdered when trying to stop a robbery suspect.

I’m not looking for a theological debate whether or not there is an afterlife. The point of this blog is to start a dialogue to prevent more of these senseless tragedies from happening over and over again. And what part, if any, social media has to play in it.

It don’t think it will help to debate what to call what happened with the Germanwings tragedy. I look at it, from my perspective, as a mass murder/suicide, though. Again, I’m not a clinically trained professional of any kind.

I can only hope that, globally, we start initiatives to find out the WHY in past tragedies, which will vary, on how to prevent future tragedies and loss of life.

Meaning that the motivation in each of these murders, may be different. And require a different approach in getting people who need help, to seek it, before they commit these horrific acts of violence.

Where I think social media plays a part in people who need the most serious of interventions, is the fact that the perpetrators of these crimes, gain a lot of attention. Even in death. But in their terribly irrational and/or erratic states or when they snap, they think there is some payoff, because they will get attention for the worst reasons, possible.

Again….Even IF they are DEAD. And if there isn’t a suicide component and/or they aren’t killed upon being captured, they still get horrifically, an additional payoff of being considered newsworthy, all over social media, tv and in print.

I think at best, other than major initiatives for help, is to start with NOT giving violent dead criminals or violent criminals who kill , ANY attention on social media.  It’s feeding into an irrational need for those who have the propensity to be violent, it hurts all of society and it’s disrespectful to their victims.

There’s not much more I can say. I’ve talked about murder/suicides, murder of police officers, as well of how many people are killed either by strangers or loved ones in their daily lives.

I can only hope that government and the best of medical and psychiatric professionals, as well as others who can help given insight, into comprehensive initiatives for prevention of these tragedies and help for those who are capable of killing people and violent harm.

But again, it bears repeating. The fastest way to help, until initiatives are in place is to STOP giving criminals all this media attention.

Note: Again, if someone is in medical or mental health crisis, of any kind or someone you know, PLEASE seek immediate professional attention from an acute care facility.

Tag Cloud