To the young dudes who decided to slow down and oink at me late this afternoon in West St Paul MN and for those who think it’s ok to bully, anyone/anywhere…

(Above picture taken Thanksgiving 1996 and I look like this now EXCEPT older.
If people care that much which clearly THEY DO about what weights I’ve been before, google UNSTAPLEDLISA but in lowercase letters or just look to my previous blog where I happen due to topic have pics of myself in 2004 and in 2015 where I weighed considerable less than I do now)

Important Disclaimers: I will take some liberties in this blog as far as personal feelings, if anyone is every body shamed for either being too fat or too thin and/or for any reason and is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please contact emergency services right away

Wow!!!

It’s been a day, as I spent most of the day either getting to or coming from what was supposed to be a physical with my primary care physician but ended up being followup as I ended up in the ER last Thursday with severe abdominal pain and nausea and super bad labs that was suspected to be gastric bypass and/or gastric bypass reversal related but I wouldn’t let them admit me.

So I was outside about an hour ago, having a cigarette with my back facing the street talking to my neighbor, in front of my apartment building, in a lot of pain and exhausted.

All of a sudden a car slows down making a noise for a minute and until they finally went faster in their vehicle, as it’s a busy road 2 young men were smirking at me.

It took me a minute to realize they were oinking at me.

At first I felt embarrassed for my neighbor, who is a good guy that he had to witness that and a bit of shock.

I can say though I wasn’t embarrassed for myself though being heavy, I’ve had a history of being bullied for almost 47 years, since preschool and I’m 51 1/2 years old, now.

What I said to my neighbor, was “Wow, how would’ve they reacted and was homicidal and actually had a gun on me and on the flip side of them not knowing anything about me, if I was a suicidal due to horrific constant bullying and that pushed me to the point that depression ended up being fatal to me, as I know people who have weight issues due to being on psych meds as well as a myriad of medical reasons thats have nothing to do with an inability to put down a fork !!!”.

My neighbor is a super kind guy and he reiterated that he doesn’t ever judge people by what they look like and it really doesn’t matter what people weight, as long as they are happy.

I gently said I don’t love my weight but he also knows that I’ve been much thinner, as we are Facebook buds and I have pics from before my gastric bypass, after weight gain issues but I don’t have any up close full body pics of myself other than a selfie and other pics or 2 that’s like 6-12 months old because while i’m not necessarily proud of my weight, I’m not ashamed of it, either.

And it shouldn’t be such as in my rare case where I learned the hardest way possible, that there are worse things than being fat, given the consequences of my gastric bypass complications .

I loved working out at an athletic level in 2004, that’s why I went to school to be a Certified Personal Trainer.

If I wanted to be known for anything, it would be for being a great loving single mother who ended up being a successful small business owner, as a trainer whether people wanted to lose weight or not.

I’m compelled though to write this an activist though because I’ve addressed enough in trying to prevent violent crime how some people if hated enough for appearance issues, that hate has to go somewhere and in some cases they hurt others.

In other cases severe persistent bullying, it causes enough trauma to cause someone to be despondent and their depression becomes fatal to them.

If I thought I was an isolated incident with those 2 guys, I’d keep my mouth shut, however they went way out of their way to try and hurt me, which they can’t.

But behavior like that could end up getting them killed, NOT that it would be justified. Should they mess around with the wrong person and not knowing what other people are dealing with, it could have tragic consequences for people who can’t take anymore hate directed at them because they’ve experienced so strongly and for so long.

And it shouldn’t matter that in my (or any others) case what I’ve done or not done to be considered conventionally attractive to them, society as a whole or even for myself.

I’m ok (meaning I don’t love the weight I am, I just refuse to hate myself for it) being that I guess super unaesthetically pleasing person when it comes to those who bully people like me who are fat.

I’m most certainly the BETTER person, though than anyone who bullies anyone fat or thin or for looks reasons, race, gender/sexual identification/preference, politics, profession and/or religion.

And so is anyone else who isn’t contributing to putting more hate in the world. Period.

Important Note: Anything that’s triggering to me or anyone of my readers will NOT be posted.

Why #BillMaher going forward, is gonna have a lot of trouble convincing me that he ain’t Trump’s mean little bitchy wanna be brother, from a different mother…

Important Disclaimers/Trigger Warnings: I’m writing this to achieve  activism goals that I really shouldn’t have to make, but unfortunately feel compelled to, after watching a segment on a Real Fucking Shame, oops I meant Real Time with Bill Maher early yesterday morning.

IF body politics, real politics and profanity offend you, please stop reading this, like NOW.

Also no intention meant to offend any orangutans is intended, as they don’t hate on humans based upon weight, looks, gender and age, like other humans do to each other.

***

I’m NOT supposed to be writing THIS.

I’m supposed to be writing a blog about how yesterday, the 9th anniversary of my fucking gastric bypass reversal, how I’m doing, well, like 9 years later.

Which I really didn’t want to do, either.

If I’m gonna be honest…

However, my gastric bypass reversal and suicide prevention blogs are the most read blogs of mine, ever.

And not just exclusive to the United States or North America, they get quite read regularly on all 6 continents except Antarctica.

Here’s the thing…

As someone who does serious activism as a blogger, who lives an unrecognizable life that did a 180, 16 years ago and who leans on the liberal side (clearly with a conservative streak, as exhibited in my LAST blog) I count on weekends that air a new Real Shame with the funny but I knew didn’t love fat people but looked away Bill Maher, as long as he didn’t constantly remind me of that.

As I needed the distraction of his non fat bashing humor to distract from all these sad, scary and intense news cycles.

I can’t give though Bill Maher a pass any longer on his fat people hatred.

I know too much that plays into trauma that leads to people being of excess weight and too little weight.

I know the desperation that a lot of people feel from being hated on by being of fat that at best, depending on how much they weigh, leads them to drastic interventions like bariatric surgery which I’m NOT against, knowing people who died from both severe morbid Obesity complications or suicide, when wanting a surgical intervention they couldn’t have.

Although, I am better suited for helping those in crisis medically and mentally for those who’ve had catastrophic gastric bypass complications that might lead to a need for a gastric bypass reversal in patients, who also have in real life medical and mental health professionals treating them.

And  how difficult it is, after having talking to many of those people who may need it, into a reversal, who don’t want one because they would rather be dead than fat again and how devastating and terrifying that is for a patient and any of their providers, myself included having that responsibility on them/us.

Bill Maher didn’t have to throw fat people to the wolves, or anyone, to make a point about things that are taxing our health care system.

And clearly he has never worked in health care or in insurance, like I have, where things like a rehab for non professional athletes with serious sport injuries or people with addiction issues, is also expensive.

I know this blog will be read and disliked  for multiple reasons.

And I do defend Trump supporters and don’t think they are bad humans.

Up until yesterday, I  could defend Bill Maher.

That’s until he proved he is dispositionally just as dangerous as Donald Trump is.

Donald Trump has never pretended other than in election cycles to like  people who aren’t thin and pretty and who aren’t poor for the last several decades.

So I can’t and I won’t shame people who still will support Bill Maher in any way, just like I don’t with Trump fans.

It’s not up to me, nor do I feel uncomfortable wishing harm upon anyone, I think people doing that so freely, who do feel comfortable,especially in the digital era they are and it is so dangerous and I’m not capable of it, even though I’m no longer wishing Bill Maher a super great life, either.

And at  least I don’t feel bad now, for at least hoping that Bill Maher, has a prescription in high doses of Zyprexa and Seroquel in his future and would love to see how that works out, especially with his love for weed and would love to see how he would fare, in regards to his weight.

For the fucking love of everything holy, please don’t generically fat bash anyone, John Oliver, those of us bigger liberals with a BMI over 30 are counting on you…

Note: Anything that’s hateful may or may not  be responded to, depending on how stupid it is.

Anything that is direct threat to my or anyone’s life, will be reported to the proper authorities.

Well, I guess we all KNOW Victoria’s Secret, NOW!!!

(above pics of me taken 10-8-2016 DT East Miniapple in my ‘hood)

I know this is going to be shocking to Victoria’s Secret and L Brands management, but most of us larger women had  ALREADY known that Victoria’s Secret doesn’t love heavier women.

I just don’t know why Ed Razek , their CMO actually had to be so cavalier in admitting, specifically, in addition to calling out transwomen or what I just prefer to call them, women(which he did end up  rightfully apologizing to them), I guess us fatties are going to waiting awhile.

Above VS Angel tickertape oversized hoodie (in a size XL) that  I’m wearing in picture, when I bought it online in 2016, at the age of 45 1/2 and truthfully it’s nothing short of a miracle it fit me and I was a size 12 on average (I’m much larger now, that though will be a topic of another blog) and nothing else at the time, from VS would have.

I’ve always been fond though of their fragrances at both Victoria’s Secret AND Bath and Body Works.

I’ve always joked around that if I couldn’t be a Victoria’s Secret Angel, I could at least smell like one.

I’ve also less funny, privately have said, that Victoria’s Secret would have Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson prance down that runway before he’d let the gorgeous Ashley Graham, do so.

I think all body shaming is despicable, whether someone falls on the smaller or larger side of the spectrum.

And in my case, super relatable, where in the last 14 years I’ve been anywhere from a misses XS to a women’s 4x.

Other true body diversity activists like myself will call any kind of body shaming, including thin shaming, no one needs a CMO of huge organization to distract from hurtful rationales that he is spewing, of talking about his models being body shamed for being thinner, to excuse his disgust for those of us who are on the larger side.

The only thing is where I would NEVER call out for a boycott for any kind of conglomerate, is that I’ve been to the VS stores in Mall of America and other local suburbs and they ACTUALLY employ plus size women.

It’s one thing to not empower those women with not making clothing in their size, but to say it in the way he did, is inexcusable, especially given the fact the thought to apologize to one population of people but another, weren’t worthy of one.

As he owed an apology to all women, actually to anyone who buys anything from VS, who could be offended with horrible rhetoric, PERIOD!!!

I’m NOT though, throwing out the cute hoodie or all the stuff I love that I’ve bought at B&BW over the last few years.

But, I personally am not spending another dime in an L Brand owned store, either.

It’s too bad, as I have in the last few years been watching the VSFS and I love the music  that I’ve found due to the shows and some of the segments were really beautiful, as far as models and outfits.

It’s one thing to just cater a store to a certain population of people, that most of us have always understood, that.

But once you shame a population who could still shop at the store for things that are not restricted to size, well the shame ain’t on us.

It’s on you L Brands and your executive marketing team, who should’ve answered that question way less hurtfully, not just for your customers, but for your actual employees.

Regardless of age, weight or gender identification…

Note: Anything  that could be hurtful to ANY population of people, will NOT be published. So save and spare me (and everyone else)  your hate. Thanks!!!

 

 

 

“State of Misgrace”……

(pic of me taken at Downtown Minneapolis Target) 7-1-2017.

Here’s what Google and search engines terms on WP tell me what you wanna know about me:

IF you’re a fat person hater (more about that, in THIS blog), Yeah, I am fat as fuck, over 15 1/2 years after gastric bypass surgery AND my sentence syntax still sucks, as well as YOUR search engine skills (and YOUR psyche) really SUCK, as I’m not hiding on social media(um ever hear of Facebook where my profile and pics is public and there’s like 2 people with my name out of 2 billion and only one “unstapledlisa on the planet, you dumb hateful fuckers) , this is far from the first/current full body pic, that you’ve managed not to found out about me, or anything else “hateable” about me.

IF you’re a weight loss/weight loss surgery peep who hates on people in the community (many of you don’t, that’s why I still co-exist in the wls communities :)), I ALREADY know you won’t EVER be like me, with complications and more importantly, that you won’t ever gain ANY of your weight back, like me AND at 2 1/2 years status post of weight loss surgery of your choice( the average length of time post surgery of my community of wls haters) , you ALREADY know everything, so congrats on both your XXX lbs gone FOREVER and being a bariatric surgical PRODIGY!!!

And fucking FINALLY, if you’re a Fat Acceptance advocate, I still defend my right to lose weight and anyone’s elses and find thin bashing STILL just as repugnant as fat bashing and/or not accepting and being respectful of people’s right to do with their OWN bodies, their business, so yeah, I’m epically failing as a FA, too.

NOW that we got the fun of BODY POLITICS outta the way, wanna talk about just good ole fashion “normal” (heh!) politics????)

***Trigger Warning/s: Even though this blog is more of an update/personal nature blog than activism, because I talk about serious subjects, even when I’m venting/ranting, which if a picture explanation, is just THAT wordy and ranty, I have a feeling that this will be much more of a “fun” blog to write, than it will be to read.

It’s too bad  I can’t rent my blog/me out, as a sedative.

HOWEVER, even when “venting” , I talk about serious subjects and sometimes when NOT in “activist” mode, make a little fun of them (my own issues). IF you’re easily triggered by serious topics and/or are a danger of hurting yourself or others, PLEASE seek professional help in acute care facility for evaluation and treatment. Also, if you’re triggered by profanity, please don’t read. Thanks!!!!***

Okay, with above business being taken care, I’m kinda pissed that I couldn’t title this blog “Fuck You 2017 and Fuck You, 47th year”.  Like I did with my birthday blog from last December. Well, I mean I could, it’s still a free country (no,not really) and there is still freedom of speech (no, not really, EITHER).

It’s more like there’s consequences (depending on who you are and I think because of KARMA (which I’m still NOT sure I believe in) or not, depending on who you are, or who you aren’t.

Or a scary amount of disproportionate consequences (or not) from your actions or lack of actions, regardless of how well meaning, misguided, to the downright evilness of intentions, depending on the person.

That’s the FUCKING problem, I’m dealing with, nowadays. I know what my problems are, genuine and irrational. I know how lucky I am, in a lot of ways. I’m still ALIVE, everyone I love the most is still ALIVE and my life is NOT the LIVING HELL that it was in 2006 to 2011.

But as the oldest and ongoing winner of the Ms. “has a fucking frightening lack of responsibilities in the” Universe pageant, my life ain’t the fucking bowl of cherries, it should be.

Or it’s one that I keep choking on the pits, so to speak.

When I think of my life, exactly 14 years ago, I was a full time employed single Mom of 2, with a great new baby girl and an awesome almost 11 year old son, who just returned back to work, after a 3+ month maternity leave (DAMN, I USED to be really good with money, among a zillion other things, then) my life wasn’t anything resembling this fucking hard, as it is now.

While I count my blessings for what great people my children have turned out to be and how sad I am, that I had so little to do with that (if you’re a new reader, that’s covered in many previous blogs).

I’m just really sad that this just seems to be such a fucked up scary world for them to exist in. And I can’t do much to protect them from that, except warn them of potential hazards, not going overboard, as I really don’t want to sully any kind of more positive outlook on life, they may have, compared to my outlook, but at the same time, I don’t want life to give them a big ole punch (ok, many fucking punches) in the gut, that they will hopefully survive (as well as THRIVE)  better, than their mother seemed capable of.

I just don’t want that to be my fucking legacy to them, my legacy to myself and/ or the world, for the matter(s).

And while I’ve accumulated, some (ok, very little) wisdom that normally comes with age and know who I am and am secure with who I am, as well as messed up about how my life turned out, I don’t want my legacy and/or my current identity tied up as “the loving single mother who had the great life experience of having 2 great kids, sharing a plane with Princess Diana (in 1996, also in other blogs) and the screwed up luck of having mental health issues that I was unaware of at the time in 2001, going into a gastric bypass, that I was lucky enough to have a brilliant surgeon who performed a technically performed bariatric surgery that I responded physically HORRIBLY to and nearly died from, and lost my crap and nearly got committed (also in other blogs) who ended up needing a gastric bypass reversal and is now a very wordy medical and mental health activist”…..

YIKES!!! That was a mouthful!!! It’s also the reason why the owner of this brain is not on Twitter, very much. Let alone social media (which I’ve written other blogs about) very much anymore.

I get that in this wordy ranty blog of mine, it’s taking me now 1100 words to make a point/s.

And like no one, except for me (on occasion) has that kind of attention span in 2017. And most people don’t have the time or the inclination to dwell on matters of this nature, even though as UNRELATABLE as most of my blogs are, to most people, I apparently resonate with quite a few, as my blog has been read in 87 countries (fun fact!!!) and 6 continents (Seriously, WTF, Antarctica, don’t people dwell about serious shit at 3 a.m, too???).

Apparently, some of my blogs, such as my most read blog, to date which the “The Project Harpoon People Can GO Fuck Themselves” (way to go ME, for keeping it classy and concise, right??) that I wrote 2 years ago, which I found myself the target of a group of haters on a site called Voat called “FatPeopleHate”  that popped up after the Harpoon peeps got shut down on Twitter, that I found a few weeks ago.

It’s not the first time I had found myself a target of haters or Fat Acceptance hatred. It was the first time of being eviscerated by a large group of people (1100 to be exact, holy shit, right???)  too mean, stupid and hateful to find out anything other about me, than I am wordy blogger who blogs about Fat Acceptance and had a gastric bypass (that and a bunch of other stuff about me, was in particular blog) that I apparently epically failed and was a bitter, ugly, fat as fuck 500 lb ugly chick who can’t write a simple sentence. And was hiding behind a blog.

Cause it’s not like I have full body pics from different times in my life to current times that are PUBLIC and can be found in about 2 seconds, when doing a search engine on me or my blog name, which I actually do have. And it’s not okay to body shame anyone in the manner they shamed me, regardless of how much I would weigh.

I guess that serves me right for finding that group, when “Googling” myself at 3 a.m…

I’m at  almost 1400 words (FUCK!!!)  and I’m finally am going to make my points!!! YAY!!!

I still at rotten overripe,oversized  and old age and person (by weight and looks) at an average size 14 and 47 1/2 in age,  get judged way more for what I look like and what I weigh (depending how fat or not fat enough, depending on who you’re asking) than anything I ever fucking  did or anything I ever fucking said.

By both people who know me well and people who don’t fucking know me at all. Or people who’s responsibilities are to know me better and/or not judge me (i.e. medical professionals/see past blogs on “md-ptsd”, although I advocate for clinically trained medical and mental health professionals, as they are their essence, human beings).

I get my own barriers and my unique barriers in resolving some of my issues. I even have the understanding of others barriers. And have empathy for most people.

EXCEPT for fucking  murder/suicide perpetrators, rapists, pedophiles and people who hate on any class of people for any reason, whether its on me or others and I can live with that.

I’m just having so much fucking trouble adapting to a world, that seems as it gets so technologically advanced, people become more scary and uncivilized to me. And I can’t do anything about that, other than to bring awareness, that while I know my own issues, that it could help, with removing stigma about so many things, for others to be aware of their own issues that could possibly interfere with others right to a safe and peaceful enjoyment life, too.

Not just for my sake. But for those who I love the most (i.e. my children) and so many innocent others, where we at a time, never had so much that should unite us, but is also dividing so many, at the same time.  Or that HATRED is uniting people, way more than acceptance (and again, if that doesn’t work, try apathy, yes, I said apathy not empathy. you don’t have to like, let alone love on something you’re predisposed to hate on, but try to at least be indifferent, OK?) should be and how terrifying I find all of this to be.

(see, for the 2 of you, non-haters, the above 5 paragraphs is the worthwhile reason I wrote this blog/you were rewarded for your patience)

How the FUCK do we FIX that!?!?

If you know, feel free and tell me, so. Try to be respectful about it, though, OK? I don’t go either in others online or offline spaces to make them feel unsafe. Either intentionally or unintentionally (though you now have a current pic, of what I look like, if you see me out and about). I know that this obscenely overweight smoking redhead does her fair share of scaring people, unintentionally, when out and about, in Downtown Minneapolis where I reside (which if that’s the case, stay home, because I’m definitely not the scariest thing  that you’ll encounter down here), I respect the right of others peaceful and safe enjoyment of their own lives, both in their private, public, offline and online spaces.

And wish that fucking everyone realized that everyone has a right to that. And now, over 2000 words, later, I made fucking finally made my point/s.

Note: If the rantiness and wordiness of this blog didn’t give you the clue, that I’m absolutely not going to give a shit, let alone post anything that has no resemblance to my “agreeing to disagree” respectfully stance, don’t waste my time or your own, by sending me something that I won’t read and I won’t publish, both in hatred of me, or any other.