What would you do if you won the lottery???

Disclaimers: No serious disclaimers, just another blog trying to be more personally positive, in my own unique way.

So, this recluse as of late, has been home since Saturday afternoon.

The last thing I did before coming home, but after I finished running errands by myself, after I went out to lunch with my boyfriend, was buy lottery tickets for Saturday and tonight’s upcoming Mega Millions drawing, as they are on the huge side, although as a poor person, I’d appreciate winning $200, let alone over $200 million.

I already know it’s 1/2 that and it would be less, if you go for a full payout versus the annuity, but hear me out and then answer in kind, of what you’d do, if you like.

When I bought the tickets, the guy asked me what I’d do with the money.

I said it wasn’t a hard decision, because I have people who I’m indebted to with endless gratitude, that no matter how much money I gave them, it would never be enough to repay them, and that I’d split it equally in favor in that way.

And that I’d start a non profit, to help other complex disability patients.

The guy smiled at me and wished me luck.

And it’s true, I’d do exactly that.

I do have debts of gratitude that I’d never be able to repay, to my kids, to my parents, to my sisters, to my nephews and to my boyfriend.

And also to my primary care physician of over 18 years, but I don’t think she’d take any money from me, so I’d donate to a charity of her choosing.

So 1/6 to Zoe, 1/6 to Zach, 1/6 to my parents, 1/6 to my younger sister and her kids, 1/6 to my younger sister and her son and the last 1/6th would be split between my boyfriend and myself.

And yeah, I’d like to start a non profit but ain’t going to lie and say I’d do all good with the money. I’d probably build a nice house on some land or buy one in my daughter’s school district.

I’d do fun stuff for people who were nice to me on social media who never had any expectation other than doing something nice for someone.

So that’s where I’d start.

Wish me luck as Mega Millions drawing is an hour…

And I’d like to hear what and why you’d do with the money, if you care to share.

Note: Again, this is meant to be a light hearted blog.

No need for lectures or hate, OK?

Thanks!!!

Editorial Note: Updates I thought that took place before publishing didn’t, so I apologize for any confusion, as while I’m usually to blame for not being clear, in this instance it was WordPress and my device, to blame.

Although I did as a recluse, manage to leave my house for over 4 hours and totally forget my Fitbit Zip, cause I’ve been home so much. So for my social media peers who follow me on there or Facebook, which I’m not going to be on for awhile, it was better for me to not worry about going home to get my Fitbit Zip, but just continue being out and about, with my health issues, just worrying about concentrating on my own personal safety.

The BEST things to ever happen to me…

Disclaimers: There aren’t any or many, given the fact that this blog is personal and it’s meant to concentrate on what’s the best things about our lives. I might put restrictions at the end, only because I’m not going to be “babysitting” my Facebook and Twitter accounts, as I’m not on social media very much and don’t plan on going on either of those accounts, anytime soon. Thanks.

I’m trying to feel a little more positive about things, as of late. It’s kind of a struggle because I don’t feel the greatest and am kinda reclusive, while I can use the internet in a positive way, personally, I’d thought I’d try to extend that kind of positivity, in my own blog, where I do such serious life and death type of activism.

I’ve been trying to achieve that, by looking at the best things that ever happened to me and my best traits and concentrating on them, as of late, as well as of best things about people I admire versus the sucky mindset we can get into, if one is scared of a lot of things, that aren’t in the realm of their control, that sometimes we have to let that go, so we aren’t in a chronic panic anxiety state.

Here are the BEST things to happen to me, broken by year and event, in the last 3 decades for me:

1992- Zachary was born

1996- Going to London, as a poor single Mom on business with Princess Diana being on the flight.

2003- Zoe was born (and turns 15 in 2 1/2 weeks!!!)

2005- The hope I had as a single Mom of 2 amazing kids who was going to be a small business owner (I can use that as a good thing, even though my life didn’t turned out that way, because I remember I still had hope and was working hard to achieve a dream).

2011- Met my boyfriend who’s my best friend, who’s patient with having a girlfriend with medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities

2015- Going to Las Vegas, all by myself. Getting from McCarran International to the strip by bus and walking everywhere in between in the desert, with my current disability sets (which are now worse). Negotiating a decent hotel room rate and staying in a cool hotel (which trip is highlighted in a past blogs) like the Stratosphere, where I had a Jacuzzi tub and an amazing view from the 22nd floor.

2018-??? It’s gotta be something, cause while I can take pride in that I’m still an activist, from a “seize the day, even it’s only a DAY’ recluse point of view (will never be a YOLO chick, um just not me) have to do something.

Best skill sets I’ve had in the last 3 decades:

1988 to 2006: Could get decent jobs and had great interviewing skills. Never lived in fear while I was a functional mother, was in awe and grateful for the experience. Was a good friend. And was good at my jobs that I had and I would’ve been great at the business I wanted to start, had I not been so blindsided by circumstances that were not in my control.

2008-2011: A self awareness that I could survive a lot of bad things and circumstances and still have the decency to try to help people, even as minimally as it was, the best I could, which was very limited.

2011-2018: See directly above but add that I didn’t go through the bad stuff in vain, given my limitations, that it would be used to serve a greater good to people, in whatever way I could help, even being as limited as I am.

Knowing how to give a sincere compliment, genuine apology and constructive but kind feedback and insight. Still possessing a desire to help those who don’t have a voice and advocate on their behalf. Having the ability to engage in an intelligent conversation, debate or argument. Having gratitude for the smallest of good things and blessings.

1969-2018: Never taking anything or anyone that’s good for granted. Finding good things in trying adversity. even if it’s the little stuff.

SO,  between concentrating on the above, reading Mr. Rogers and Oprah quotes and trying to see those who overcame great odds and did good with their lives, is helping me try to not be as pessimistic, even though I’m kind of always going to be of “partly cloudy” at best, in personality.

So that’s mine. What are your best things in your life and your best skill sets???

Note: I have social media ties or know a bazillion wls peeps. Like seriously, A bazillion.

AND YES, I’d prefer you didn’t use a bariatric and/or reconstructive surgery as one of the best things that happened to you. That would count for not just wls but any surgery, unless someone’s sight was restored with corneal implants, or something extremely unusual.

I’m not trying to be mean, and I’m not short sighted, see my year “2005”.

You climbed Mt. Everest post rny gastric bypass???

Great, would love to hear about it. The fact you just had any weight loss surgery, you’re going to have to try harder, it’s for your own good, OK?

Thanks!!!

The HORSE in the ROAD……..

It happened so suddenly, that I didn’t even know about it, until it was OVER.

My boyfriend and I, took a day trip to a beautiful part of the Greater Minnesota area, yesterday.

Ten minutes in our trip back  home to the Twin Cities, last night, and it was dark, and we were on a dark twisty road, going the posted speed limit which was 55 mph. I was playing with my new cell phone and my boyfriend,  slightly swerved and exclaimed,  “Did you see, that??? THERE WAS A HORSE IN THE ROAD!!! IF I wouldn’t have seen him or if he would’ve been on our side, we would’ve been most likely killed, as horses are bigger than deer and I don’t know how someone can lose track of a horse!!!”.

Now my boyfriend is pretty mild mannered most of the time, so for him to raise his voice, is a big deal. This blog isn’t about him, though.

It ain’t at least all  about the “horses in the road”, that I never saw.

It’s about all those “horses in the roads” that we NEVER see.

It’s about how we handle life after them.

I’ve had a lot of “horses in the road” in my life. I’m not talking about just what I’ve put in my blog, about having major life changing or life ruining, if not  drawn out nearly life ending experiences.

I’m talking about nearly drowning in Lake Michigan when I was 21, the year  before I’d be blessed with my 1st surprise blessing (my son) where I’d move, get laid off from my job and have a baby in a 2 1/2 week period, almost 23 years ago.

I’m talking about losing control of an automobile, almost 9 years ago, when  a driving 80 mph on a busy  freeway, in the middle lane, when I had a major oil leak and suddenly  my steering wheel locked up, my Grand Am, froze up and I was able to somehow mysteriously make it to the side of the road, get out of my car,  perfectly fine,  call 911 before my engine started on fire.

I’m talking about the tons of surprises that I’m grateful that started out with the pregnancy with my daughter, 13 years ago and that she and I nearly died from, how many scares I had with my pregnancy with her (had a lot of them, with her brother, too) and also suddenly, how we both nearly died, when she was born.

I haven’t blogged much, lately. I have been working on wanting some positive major life changes, even though the scope of my life, is so small. I’ve also been contemplating on stepping out of my comfort zone to do something different, before I get anymore disabled.

I didn’t need the “horse in the road”, to tell me to do this now.

And  I am grateful I have the wisdom to differentiate the difference between both the metaphorical and literal  “forks in the road” and “horses in the road”.

The “forks” of course, you have some time and some choice, unless you live life fast, which I don’t, of what road you want to take. The “horses” you have to improvise, quite quickly at a situation that was thrown at you and even though it’s not always a life or death situation, it still  forever changes you.

It just reinforced in me, to do what I need to do, NOW. As there was 4 feet  of space, in my possibly not being around here, this morning, to write this blog. Or to write another blog or do anything, ever again.

So while I’ll need today, to recover from the busyness of yesterday, I don’t have and I can’t wait, because I’m not guaranteed, just like no one is, that I’ll have an infinite amount of time, that I’ll have even my limited current skill sets, to get done what I want to, so that I live the best life that I’m capable of.

Carpe Diem!!!  And if I can’t seize the day, I’m still going to work on the positive life changes, for the life that I currently have, knowing that  I’m  NOT definitely guaranteed a tomorrow.

No One EVER is, though.

I’d like to hear about your ” horse in the road” life stories, now, if you want to share them and what your takeaway was from them.