It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Archive for November, 2015

You CAN’T handle the/my TRUTH….

hypocrites1

“Yeah I’m gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do, you keep messing up and I’ll keep praying for you”
“Pray for You”-Jaron and The Long Road to Love

Soooooooo. I was chatting with someone local via Facebook, but that I never met, earlier today and the question that I most loathe to be asked, comes up.

That question would be “how are you?”……

While I know both what my blessings and what the bad things in my life are, I’m not one of those people who has severe chronic pain and says I’m “fine” when I’m NOT.

Depending on though who’s asking, will usually dictate how I answer. In this case, this person found me via my blog ,because of weight loss surgery and the nature of my association was more of my listening and that person venting, which was ok, she wasn’t the type of the person who sucked the life out of me, like some people who I have associations with, who think because I’m homebound a lot and disabled that I have all the time in the world for them and their issues, which have much more greater importance than mine.

Now, it’s relevant to this blog, that I reiterate that I live in Minneapolis and the Twin Cities is getting our first big snow of the season……

So, I actually honestly answer that I’m not feeling the best, but I’m grateful that I don’t have to go anywhere today and leave it at that.

Now I’m not the type of person to take screen shots (don’t know how and don’t wanna) of a conversation online. I try not to judge those who will publicly post private exchanges on social media, I wouldn’t like to be on the other side of that, so it’s not something that I’d opt to do.

But this is the reason for this blog. I basically was responded to, when I said I didn’t feel the greatest that I had to hear how “lucky” I was that I’m disabled enough not to have to drive or work anymore. That was almost said verbatim as well as being told “I’m ALMOST jealous of you”.

That’s not the first time I’ve had crap like that spewed on me. I just found it ironic that I got another instant message from a friend who said I should be grateful that “you don’t have to drive in this crap” at the same time (I can no longer drive due to my disabilities). As well as receiving an email this morning, from an ex, who had the stomach flu and “almost” felt sorry for me for how I felt when I was nearly dying for years of multiple g.i. bleeds, multiple times.

I guess what I’m asking and/or venting about, is what’s with all this passive aggressive bullshit??? I know I’m not the only one who has to put up with it, as  social media (i.e in my case, Facebook) gives you insight on what your friends have to put up with, too.

When did having empathy for others become a lost art form? I understand that everyone has their own barriers and their own sad, if not devastating life stories. I have friends who’ve battled cancer and never once complained. I have friends who can’t have children or have had to bury them and they don’t look for pity. EVER.

I just don’t understand people who ask a question/s to another and are hoping for a negative response/outcome, that’s if they care at all, which they usually don’t,  about an answer.

With everything I’ve ever did or said, I’ve never wanted to become the poster child of/for pity. I do complain a lot, but I also show gratitude a lot, which I think for me, is a good balance. I appreciate what’s been amazing in my life and realize I’ve survived some awful things, and while I’m damaged,  I’m not completely shattered. I’m still living MY life, the best I can, with what I was dealt with, which is what most of us, do, even though we have different things that we are dealing with.

I  guess I don’t get people who can constantly talk about saving sloths, trees and the environment, but don’t give a damn about another human being, at least in a meaningful way that’s not self serving.

This is what ended up happening though, in my conversation this morning. As I was a little more blunt than I usually am, because I’m getting REALLY sick of people who use others as an example of what they don’t want to be and couldn’t be clearer about their intentions. As I just told that person straight out, that I was not envious of them, AT ALL (which is true), wished them a safe commute and then went offline.

Which of course, got me unfriended and blocked on Facebook.

I don’t respond (well, at least directly) to those who don’t have my best interest at heart. And for those who do make it clear that I serve a self centered purpose in their lives, they don’t have that much power on how I feel about myself.

And that’s one of the points of this blog. I don’t have to wish people well who don’t have my best interest at heart. You don’t have to, either. While I think any type of physical or psychological revenge is NOT OK, the video posted above, does make me feel better, when people go out of their way to make me feel bad about myself and it might help you, my dear reader, as well.

Dr. Lisa’s prescription for those who are suffering from bullshititis via proxy…

Rx: Listen to “Pray for you” by Jaron and The Long Road to Love, max t.i.d.  Also vent to a caring supportive person or you can vent on this blog.

You’re welcome….

And I’d also love to know when people will ever, learn? If you friend me on Facebook as  a result of my blog, but then block me for some reason on Facebook, make sure ya unfollow me on WordPress, too, OK ?

And for those who care how I’m doing? Physical pain levels are actually kinda high and I can barely walk or stand and it hurts to even write. But when I think about how sick I still was 5 years ago, can’t complain too much.

Feel free to let me know how you are doing, when you get a chance whether things are going great to horrible….

Because, I do actually care…..

And for my haters: ” Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car, in your house or in your car, wherever you are, honey, I pray for you, I pray for you”-Jaron and The Long Road to Love and I. 😉

Truly, A Thanksgiving Miracle/#SNLWinsTheInternet

SNL still has it!!!

I’m just coming off a 3 day social media internet sabbatical (more about that, in an upcoming blog).

And I manage to finally to view the video above, even though I’m one of the rare people who’s spoken up about NOT liking Adele’s lyrics , even though I LOVE her music and was afraid to get “Hello” stuck in my head.

UM, again….

However, as funny and brilliant as this video is, I’m going to seriously say, I’m sure it represents a lot of families’s truths as far as navigating potential arguments this holiday season and seasons’s past, with loved ones, when social media horrifically gave people the power and the false impression that they are ALWAYS right.

Or that it’s okay to argue on the side of being right versus being respectful. Because it’s not okay.

Guess What???

You DO NOT have to attend every argument that you are invited to.

In fact the world would be a better place both online and offline, if people remembered that they don’t and would NOT engage.

Right now, we live in a society that’s more violent than it ever has been. We may not have a choice in the violence outside of our homes.

But absolutely NO need to have unnecessary drama within our homes (I’m talking about arguing hot topics that cause a polarity in opinions, NOT talking about domestic abuse or physical or emotional violence of any kind) arguing things to death.

Biggest gift you could give the ones you love, but maybe not like so much, is the gift of not debating things to death.

Not to mention, it has a personal payoff, if you learn how to just ignore the differences, as it will make people wonder what you’re actually up to.

Kinda like the beloved Abraham Lincoln expression goes “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”

I’d like to think that NO ONE ever got their deathbed and thought “I should’ve argued with those I love the most, especially if I knew I’d never have an opportunity to show others how right I am, ever again…”

Most people wouldn’t treat acquaintances this way, why people choose to treat family and friends this way, I’ll never understand.

Even though it’s human nature, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve said things as well as what I’ve done, to people I care about the most that really wasn’t even about the topic that’s being debated to death.

So, if this holiday season you have to spend time with those who have polarized opinions from your own, you could either take my advice and err on the side of being respectful.

Or find something else to do and don’t go. And know that I’ve  (as well as most people) never had to experience a long lasting argument when only ONE person speaks up about things that I/they might strongly disagree, about, NOT fighting back isn’t a sign of weakness, sometimes.

It’s a sign of respecting yourself and others not to fight tooth and nail about subjects, that you aren’t going to change another’s mind, about.

So, hopefully the above will help this holiday season and as we go into a Presidential election, next year.

You’re welcome…. and  Happy Holidays!!!!

Caught with your sticky fingers in the candy bowl, in the digital era…………

http://time.com/4095765/woman-caught-stealing-halloween-candy/

In full disclosure, even though the above story has trended in my newsfeed on Facebook, a zillion times, I’ve yet to see the video. Or read the links. I only used a search engine as I suspected this story would feed into fat hatred, and I wasn’t wrong in my assumption.

SO,  if ya missed it (impossible in the Facebook era, when the same story trends about 13 or 14 MILLION times to make sure one doesn’t miss something that’s considered trendworthy or newsworthy), which both are not mutually exclusive.

I would never call out anyone about their parenting, even though I’ve seen my friends do so, and that’s ok. But I’m not in a position given my circumstances, to dislike this lady for that reason.

I AM though, however in a position to absolutely HATE what she did (not ok to actually hate HER) , given the fat acceptance and size acceptance advocacy that I do.

I’m going to digress for a minute, then make my point on the “candybandit”. I absolutely HATE Halloween. Nothing fucks up this fat girl who’s been teased all her life for being fat and ugly (I’m speaking for myself only, I have a lot of larger size friends who LOVE Halloween) than a holiday designated to dressing up in ill fitting costumes on me and being given candy that others, including myself, think I’m too fat to fucking eat.

So, as a size and fat acceptance advocate, who’s only read the story in the link I posted above and did a 15 second search engine check, I’ve tried to ignore this story, but it’s impossible to ignore the links. I can’t imagine though, how much this is feeding into those who are fat phobic and fat haters (you wouldn’t believe how much HATE you can find in 15 seconds on social media and in a search engine) and if you are sensitive to fat hatred, do yourself a favor and don’t even bother, like ever, with the comments, which I occasionally torture myself with, but not in this case).

SO,  let me reiterate this, as it NEEDS to be said, NOT EVERY FAT PERSON is a threat to your candy bowl, Thanksgiving spread and all your Chrismas cookies. Not everyone who’s of larger size eats multiple entrees as one meal from Mickey D’s and Taco Bell?

UNDERSTOOD???

I will also say that’s it’s pathetic that people are driven to do something or not do something, based upon their actions potentially going viral, not because it’s the right or wrong thing to do. But this does teach an important lesson that almost everything that we do, has the potential to be newsworthy for worthless and messed up reasons.

So I’m going to open this up, to my followers/friends,  on WordPress, Facebook and Twitter, as a discussion topic. Did you watch the video? What is your opinion of this story and it actually being a story?

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