Disclaimers: I am NOT a clinically trained professional in medical or mental health or possess any kind of education or training in any form of law enforcement.
IF someone you know is capable of hurting themselves and/or others, please contact emergency services in your location, immediately.
I really wanted to title this blog “Hate Won”…
Because I’m really beginning to think that hate is winning out.
I’m also really beginning to think, that no matter what I or others say about learning how to agree to disagree, choosing apathy over hate and that NO matter what morally or ethically (there’s a difference with legal) transgressions that people do to another, we don’t have the right to pay back those transgressions with violent irreversible harm over another for those who have a predilection for crime or for those who snap (which quite a few domestic murder/suicides this year alone were committed by people with no legal history or history of mental illness) .
I thought about the very recent crimes that happened in the United States that triggered my writing this blog and realized it didn’t matter whether or not I specified the crimes, well the crimes of course did matter, but the actual date’s crimes didn’t, for activism purposes, as this happens EVERYDAY, now.
I’m obviously NOT a psychiatrist who specializes in violent crime pathology.
You don’t need to be though, to have an opinion or if one has a desire to try and help make the world a better place, to have an opinion.
Some of my blogs are meant to be “DBT on Demand” for those who refuse to seek treatment and try to bring awareness that their words and/or actions can be harmful, if not fatal to themselves and/or others.
Some of the best advice I’ve ever been given has been by someone NOT familiar with my exact personal circumstances and was practically, if not, a total stranger.
Some of the best life saving advice that I’ve ever given (with above disclaimer that people in any kind of crisis need to be evaluated and treated by appropriate professionals, in appropriate facilities) is to people who I don’t know personally, but have found me because of this blog.
It just goes beyond my scope of comprehension, of how people can let unchecked rage due to rejection, that leads to deadly revenge or attempt to kill another.
For someone who’s been hated on by people, the majority of my entire life because of weight and looks (being more on the unattractive side of the spectrum) most of my life, I’ve only turned rage inward and what I learned when I became a mother, untreated hatred even if it’s just limited to oneself, can have devastating emotional consequences on those who you love the most, no matter how unintentional.
I had to learn at a young age how to deal with rejection and while it wasn’t hurtful to others, it wasn’t constructive, either and it’s something some of us, especially for those of us who’ve really never fit in, have to check in with themselves and take personal inventory on how we react to that, so it does NOT turn inward or externally to others, and sometimes people can do that on their own, others may need professional help.
It NEVER helps whether in the short or long run, to retaliate either emotionally or physically against someone who you hate either because you loved them at one time and they emotionally hurt you or in a lot of cases now, where people want to retaliate against strangers who they have differences of opinions.
I’m trying to multiple things here, but one thing I should try to make clear, for a blog that’s intended to reduce violent crime, I’m going way out of my way to talk about LEGALITIES, because they cease to matter to an individual once they try to perpetuate violent crime.
I REALLY don’t want to write these kind of blogs, anymore.
But I still do, because I cannot bear to know that someone can try to go to work, to school, a place of worship or grocery shopping and never come back because they were murdered for one or many of multiple reasons that most people with a shred of ration and sanity could never commit, due to another’s hatred of something or someone.
I want to put it out there, in a way I’m capable and comfortable with, that exacting violent or really any kind of revenge, isn’t badass or noble, it’s quite COWARDLY and it’s the worst possible legacy one will leave and I really can’t understand why anyone would want to do that although I’m trying, in hopes for prevention of violent crime.
That it’s despicable shame that the energy used to hurt others can’t (although I’m TRYING) to encourage re-channeling of that negative to do something positively good for another/others.
Or at least to prevent harm to innocent people.
And again not everyone is going to love each other, but if you can’t find empathy, try apathy.
People cannot become desensitized to all this violence due to fear, even though it’s understandable because it’s too painful to think about this happening to your own loved ones.
So my challenge to you, my dear readers, as well as the rest of the universe is, everytime you have negative thought about any person in regards to race, religion, politics, gender identification/sexual preference and weight (whether it be people on the thinner or larger side of the spectrum) , try to find something positive about that person to counteract the negative energy to neutralize it.
Here’s an example: “That #@^^____!!! I hate #$^____, they can all jump off a bridge, as far as I’m concerned!!!”
Try this when having a thought like that to yourself (and maybe if and/or if you’ll ever be ready to something like that in public forum/fashion) “Hey that person is a human being, maybe I need to remind myself that before I pass judgment on ____ and _____ and____ as they aren’t hurting anyone or themselves, it’s truthfully, really none of my business”.
We aren’t born to hate.
Unfortunately though, we are conditioned to.
Unless one intentionally chooses to break that cycle of being a hater and the good news is you can.
Because something so small, could do so much for innocent others who are losing their lives daily, because people can’t contain rage from rejection and it leads to revenge.
There’s a good reason, I didn’t write a 3 word blog with a 3 word title called “Let It Go”.
Because people do many bad things based upon the “why”.
The where, what, how and who obviously matters, enormously as well.
So maybe if we try to break the cycle on hating, by teaching from the time people are young how not to be hateful and how to agree to disagree with a no bullying/hate tolerance stance and reinforcing that lifelong, we may have a chance on reducing violent crime.
But until then, I wait with bated breath, for the next tragic news story, that’s bound to happen in this hate cycle our society is in.
Note: Anything that’s not constructive, will NOT be published.