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Archive for the ‘Rage’ Category

“Emotional Self Defense”??? #MLK50 #YouTubeShooting….

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Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically or credentially  trained professional in medical, mental health, law enforcement and/or  in public safety. IF anyone you know is in crisis and is a danger to themselves or others,  please contact law enforcement immediately, on my previous blog to this one, I have dozens of national links and one global link on my previous blog.

Unfortunately, the above disclaimer wouldn’t have done any good, yesterday.

I’m talking about the attempted potential mass murder and suicide of a shooter at the You Tube Headquarters in San Bruno, California, yesterday.

Her family did the right thing.

And this blog and my intentions isn’t to cast blame on anyone but the shooter.

And ask once again, could’ve anything been done to prevent this, well with initiatives, at least and what they need to look like, at this point.

But because as an activist, while I rely on quotes and the work of Dr. Martin Luther King, to help inspire me. I’m going to look at using some of his work, to help in hopes that at least some of these tragedies can possibly be prevented, that go beyond gun control and mental health awareness, which I believe in, I just don’t believe it’s enough.

On this 50th anniversary of MLK’s assassination, I’m looking to his work tonight, to bring out his wisdom and kindness in such a scary digital age, 5 decades later to see if any of these tragedies can be prevented, possibly.

I had thought yesterday after the shooting and the news coverage, once the shooter was identified as being dead, I’d leave this alone.

I spent yesterday morning running errands and had an afternoon appointment when I came home to decompress and lots of times I do that by watching You Tube, as I have a paid account (YouTube Red) and no cable.

Only when taking a quick break to check on email, about 20 minutes after it started to trend about an active shooter situation.

But the motives and end results, where in this case, one of the victims is still in critical condition, these happen too often with different motives of the shooter and different degrees of horrifying end outcomes.

I spent most of my morning yesterday, explaining in random details to the person helping me run errands, prior to the tragedy yesterday, of explaining why I do something in regards to murder/suicide prevention, as a blogger and activist.

I don’t think I’m the most qualified (hardly), but it’s something that’s now almost becoming a daily horrifying tragedy in the United States with varying opinions arguing who’s the more right but no professional insight from those trained in dealing with abnormal/trauma psychiatry or psychology.

The above quote by MLK I think could do a lot in preventing these tragedies from occurring, as far as teaching forgiveness, kindness and empathy and and how to productively deal with rejection and rage, from the time people are young.

But when talking about this tragedy on Facebook, I brought up something and it’s something to consider.

I have to wonder if some of these tragedies are based in an abhorrent/abnormal mindset of “emotional self defense” of the worst kind.

Meaning people when feeling wronged, it’s okay to be upset, it’s not okay to take away people’s inherent right to peace of mind, not at the expense of others, nor at the expense of human life, EXCEPT when people are in a situation of mortal danger, but some people are not seeming to rationally realize this, at this point.

I have the expression about myself that I’m “damaged but not dangerous” and while there’s a lot of things I don’t like about myself or my life and while I’m pondering if there’s more I can do to be a more productive human being, I can say that trying to help people learn in a constructive way, from my own personal tragedies, may have not led to physical wealth and the ultimate in personal success, but I can feel at least a small sense of pride, that what I went through, it wasn’t in vain.

And I’m not saying that all people should be this way, I do believe people have to find their own way in the world, but whether or not someone is capable of forgiveness, they shouldn’t be capable of such short sighted but irrevocable revenge, especially when it comes to loss of life, in situations that aren’t literally a matter of life or death, if EVER.

As I’ve said before in previous blogs, I use the internet to have some quality of life, I don’t think it’s good for people who even make a living on social media, to make a life or live life on the multiple platforms of social media, that are now available to us.

And that mental health and/or fitness (which yes, it’s possible, even when having different mental illnesses) and agility, is EQUALLY important as physical health.

And also as I’ve said in recent blogs and blogs for years now, on the topic of mass murder and murder/suicide rooted in rejection and rage (or for ANY reason), teaching that there is no shame in getting help for oneself and maybe we need to teach people how to help themselves, get acute professional help, whenever it’s possible, before they hurt and/or kill themselves and others.

So when I’m sad that we live in such a divided angry society with a growing daily body count of innocent others, I’m going to continue to ask myself “What would MLK do???”.

So that he didn’t die in vain and the many people now, who are continuing to die because of deadly violent rage.

And maybe it would help others, to do the same.

Peace….

Note: Blog being published on 4-4-2018. Constructive input welcomed. No hate, please.

And while it makes me nauseous to have to say this, if one can’t find comfort and wisdom in the works of MLK, there’s always Mr. Rogers, K?

Thanks!!!

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absence of malice…

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Disclaimer: Even though this is a personal blog versus a blog doing activism, not knowing the mental state of my readers, and due to the serious nature of what I’m about to discuss, I will always urge those in crisis and/or if someone suspects another that might be in medical/mental health crisis and capable of doing harm to themselves or another, to seek immediate treatment from a clinically trained professional, right away and/or contact 911, immediately.

I didn’t want to write another blog, right now .

I’m NOT okay.

I hate to say and actually resent that I have to say, when saying I’m not okay, that I’m not capable of hurting myself and/or another and/or other’s property.

BUT, I have to say that.

Because, I have diagnosed mental health issues.

And while I feel that we live in a society that people scare me, that I have very little hope, I’m actually TERRIFIED that because I have mental health issues that are diagnosed, that is enough for people not to trust for me, to NOT act in a manner that is harmful to another.

Even though there’s plenty of people who know me well enough to know, that I’m NOT capable of hurting another human being, let alone I’m fully aware of my issues and would never want, nor am I capable of hurting another human being.

But for some reason, I fear that’s not enough. Not because I distrust my own behavior, but because I fear the labeling of my diagnoses.

But truthfully, this isn’t about my diagnoses, medical and/or mental health.

It’s about others, as I’m fully aware of the consequences of my own issues.

I don’t like living a life that’s devoid of hope.

I hate that I live such a small life but that no only is it so small, but that I fear other people.

I can’t stand that the fact I don’t have more hope in other human beings.

Even though that I know that there are truly good people in this world.

But I loathe that we live in a society that whether people lie in wait to kill innocent others, or due to an equally scary but less talked about mental health circumstances, where people are snapping and/or it’s a slow snap, where people are killing stranger and/or beloved famiy members.

I can’t stand the fact that I feel so helpless,  to help innocent others retain their lives,  to pursue their lives, in a society that should value the sanctity of human life, above all else, but that total strangers and/or loved ones could provide the biggest threat to one’s life.

I’m heartbroken, because as little as I have to offer as a parent, and also as an activist, no one will take me seriously, when I try to ring the alarm, that while actual weapons of mass destruction whether it be a gun, bomb or an airplane, to name a few,  with an unstable operator who wants to kill people, that the biggest threat to our safety that I am able to see, is a smartphone and social media, and the addiction of them.

I remember being, I think in 7th grade, I know it was in junior high, when I saw the move “Absence of Malice”. I know while I don’t remember the storyline, per se, it was about the intention of trying to do harm via libel and the consequences of the perception of that.

That movie, I think was released over 36 years ago, but couldn’t be anymore relevant, in today’s times.

And I’m heartbroken, as while I remember that movie’s INTENT, I dont remember the plot, as well as a million other major life events in my OWN life, let alone a movie.

I can’t believe, and it’s bigger than myself and or any of my beliefs, the lack of regard of human life and feelings in another human being, by many others.

Even though there is many decent human beings who care about one another.

That while my life, so small, so abnormal while being not abhorrent, my legacy as it stands right now, is someone who got fat again, before a gastric bypass reversal, when having an epic breakdown.

That’s it. And while I could just dissapear in today’s society, as I loathe social media and I fear it, and I’m on it, so for all intentions, I have “dissapeared” because of my lack of social media presence, that I am still compelled, to be somewhat present, in public, or at least on the internet, as a blogger,and to be honest, for what is the ugliest of my life and of others, that goes beyond that, in hopes to do greater good for other human beings, in ANY manner that I’m capable of doing greater good.

And that of course, is motivated by trying to do the right thing, as an activist, given my spectacular failures as a mother, so that what we went through, wasn’t in vain.

Or that people don’t go through awful struggles and devastating life circumstances, without a support system, like I did.

But that doesn’t get brought up in my personal online life, as much as getting fat or staying heavy after a gastric bypass and a gastric bypass reversal.

And NO matter how much I try to fight that legacy, that we should live in a society, that values the sanctity of human life and the right of individual pursuit of personal growth, happiness and the right to a safe life, that doesn’t mean anything to another, if they wish to cause us emotional and/or physical harm and/or fatality.

The reason why I fear social media so much has both a simple and/or complex answers.

The sort of  simple but still complex answer is, that it encourages impulsive behavior in people, that could be at best, a deterrent to another’s happiness, even if it’s unintentional.

I’m not saying though, I don’t see the good that social media brings.

Whether it be a celebrity who pays off a fan’s mortgage or student’s loan. among many things we’ve seen that where social media has served greater good.

But, the various social media platoforms, simutaneously both encourages the best and worst of humankind.

So while it can be heartening to see both celebrities and others do common good, there’s a lot of bad that goes with it.

Whether it be feeding in one’s instaneous need to hatefully call out others. And to quite a few, social media, dehumanizes other humans, because they are being regarded through a digital lens, that somehow uniquely to predators and/or haters, that they aren’t worthy of common consideration at best, but at worst, they aren’t worthy of being allowed to live their lives with health, safety and peace of mind.

And I don’t think that I’m overreacting, as an activist, when seeing so many cases where in domestic violence situations, where people are not just killing those they love and/or hate.

But regardless, they are horrifically murdering their children, who get caught in the crossfire of a relationship ending badly or for any and all inexplicable reasons, devoid of any ration or ration when it’s needed most.

Or you have children who are tragically killing a parent or a friend, because they can’t react appropriately, to being told NO or something they don’t like. Whether it be  a child and/or teen isn’t allowed to have a party or a child kills another peer in what they feel is an action that shows some kind of rejection, and that leads to rage induced irrovocable behaviors, such as murder/s.

My kind of activism lends to the bottom line of asking “WHY”.

While I can tell a bariatric peep not to blame themselves for example, if they are in some kind of mixed medical/mental health crisis, that their complications are not necesarily their fault and/or of their surgeons and they “why” won’t help them, as far as seeking acute professional attention, so that their lives can be saved, the “why” does play a part.

Of course it does, as far as the “why”, it can not only help from tragedy happening, it can help from history repeating itself, even if the life threatning symptoms are alleviated, it can help from non weight related self sabotaging behaviors from occuring over and over again, that might happen, when someone unnecessarily thinks in the case of an adverse bariatric surgical outcome, that they’re  to blame, for life threatening complications (even when their surgeons aren’t)  when they’re not.

That kind of perspective, such as examining the “why” can help, whether or not a human being is bariatric patient or NOT.

It can help help from a perspective of WHY tragedy happens.

It can help from trying to prevent self sabotaging behaviors, of many kinds, of interfering in one’s ability to find inner peace and a balanced life, regardless of socio-economics and other factors.

The problem is, and it’s not a problem, it’s a CRISIS, that when people hurt, if not kill themelves and/or  another human being, the “why” matters.

The intention of whether or not malice, is present, matters

Whether it be in the case, of my writings of blogs, as of late, whether it be a pastor who drove drunk and killed, I’m assuming, very unintentionally, locally,  that went viral , a 911 operator when driving drunk, last week.

Malice matters, when trying to prevent school or any kind of massacres, whether it be in Parkland, Sandy Hook, Orlando, Las Vegas, San Bernadino or Columbine, to name a few school (and other)  massacres, even though the motives of the person/s commiting the massacres may VARY, and vary widely.

Malice, and/or absence of it, matters greatly, when a mother who has an MSW and should know crisis resources, still kills her baby, her husband and herself, which happened 2 weeks ago.

Or a week later, when a mother kills her husband, her 2 adult children and herself , executing them, by shooting them in the head, when feeling rejection, as it’s been rationalized in the news, right or wrong , when being shunned from her house of worship and/or religious faith.

Talking about why these tragedies occur, as painful and complex as it is, whether or not malice is involved and/or the “why” of them, will NOT  necessarily prevent ALL of them from occuring.

But isn’t it worth a mention, if maliciousness and/or an abscence of it, as well as the “why”, necessary, to at least try and prevent at least  some of them?

I’m not a clinically trained professional. I’d like to know though, where are the clinically trained professionals, to try and say something  and/or help do something, in the hopes of prevention of all these horrific tragedies from happening over and over again, even, though they definitely aren’t to blame, for these tragedies occuring, over and over again.

Because I loathe, as a non clinically trained professional, that I have NO answers or solutions, I’m just trying to be a part of the dialogue, in hopes for prevention of all these tragedies, and while it may be unrealistic to think that all of them can be prevented, we need to at least TRY to prevent some of them.

SO sadly, I have way more questions,  than I do answers.

It would be comforting, to hear from those who have answers (i.e. clinically trained professionals in abnormal/trauma psychology) , or at least an idea,  about the ugliness of human life, that can end human life, if not hamper other’s right to be at least psychologically balanced, happy and healthy, to try and say, what they think is going on here and what, if anything, can be done to prevent all these tragedies that end in loss of human life .

Note: I welcome constructive feedback. I’m kindly asking if someone does NOT have constructive feedback, to not comment. Thanks.

Editorial Note: Clarification, 15 minutes after publishing this blog. I shouldn’t have assumed that nature of the blog, would be clear.

But it’s not something I could’ve said, whether or not people intend to do harm, both fatal and extreme psychological duress, there is sometimes instances where malice is apparent and malice is absent.

But point I’m trying to make, is both intention, whether or not there is an absence of malice, the “why”, matters greatly and is worthy of further discussion, in hopes of prevention of these tragedies.

I shouldn’t have though, assumed that people would construe that, just by the nature of the blog, so while I’m not sorry for what I said, and how many words, it took to say it, I AM sorry, that I wasn’t clearer.

Again, my apologies for not clearly stating above clarification. Thanks….

An important part of the conversation in trying to prevent school shootings…

Important Disclaimers: I believe the video starts an important dialogue that we need to be having and I’ve tried to also state in other blogs about school massacres, other massacres and murder/suicides.

I’ll always encourage people who are in medical and/or mental crisis, and/or if you suspect someone else and is capable of hurting themselves or others, please seek acute clinical professional help and/or contact 911 (and/or EMS for your country if your outside the United States) immediately.

The man in this video is brave.

He starts an important conversation that I’ve tried to initiate dialogue for,  but am not so brave to leave my house to do so, nor as I am as concise.

He shares concerns that I have stated since I’ve launched this blog, that gun control is necessary, as well as open and honest constructive dialogue is necessary to try and  help prevent all these senseless school shootings, but brings up concerns wisely, that gun control is NOT enough.

Again, I believe in gun reform.

I don’t believe that ANY citizen should have an assault rifle.

But lifelong constant societal, familial and peer rejection in some people can lead to predatory and horrific massacres.

It doesn’t mean that all people who’ve experienced massive rejection would ever be capable of hurting another person, let alone killing them.

And Aaron Stark talks about that, too.

Because when we start the labeling people without asking questions, a reclusive loner who’s been subjected to lifelong bullying and has limited support, not all of them are going to ever be capable of causing any kind of harm (i.e. me and many others) to others and have never ever thought about hurting another.

And society just can’t start locking people up, in thinking because they possess certain anti-social appearing traits, that they are at risk for something I/they would  NEVER be capable of doing.

I don’t think it’s his intention, but I want to make this clear, as I do think the video can be life saving, some people probably can not be “loved” or shown caring enough to prevent them, from doing something that could cause harm, if not fatalities in many others.

In the end, it’s the person who kills people, who’s responsible for them being a mass murderer,  as there is never a good enough defense to justify their horrific behavior, as it’s not brave to ambush innocent people, EVER. It’s horrifically cowardly and it should never be thought,  otherwise.

But it can give hope, as shown in the  conversation in this video,  that is possible that some of  these tragedies can be prevented, regardless of weapon choice in a potential mass murderer and/or serial killer.

By asking someone without stigma,  hopefully to save lives, of what helped him when in crisis, to not to kill himself, let alone other people, even though he had considered both at one time, can hopefully lead into constructive initiatives and support systems for those in crisis, BEFORE they horrifically kill others.

 

Another gentle reminder, when to and when NOT to bring up Mental Illness and massacres…

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Disclaimers: I’m very sensitive, as well as heartbroken, for the tragic loss of lives that occurred this week, 2 of them I’ve blogged about in the last week,  alone.

I’m NOT a clinically trained medical, mental health, law enforcement or public safety.
I will always implore people, if they or someone they know, is or suspects to be in crisis, is potentially a danger to themselves or others,  to contact 911 and/or seek appropriate  emergency treatment from clinically trained professionals in an appropriate acute facility.

I know there’s a lot of people who DO NOT want to hear this today.

I don’t want to have to say this, today, but it’s important in the conversations that need to be discussed on reducing the horrifying rates that people, innocent children and adults are being killed  in their homes, their schools and their workplaces.

As well as in their places of worship, hospitals and on the street.

In my blog late last week, I blogged about a mother, who when suffering postpartum psychosis, shot her 3 month baby, her husband and then herself, to death.

That St. Louis mother, was a well respected woman in her community. She volunteered with disadvantaged  people in need. She participated in her church and had a Masters in Social Work, where for reasons that may never be known, of why she horrifyingly  killed her baby, husband and herself with a gun she obtained legally, other than postpartum depression was used in an article, but there’s a difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis but neither should be stigmatized.

The other blog, was the one I wrote yesterday was  about a vile young man, who laid in wait, when filled with irrational deadly rage, attempted to execute as many innocent people as possible, in the horrifying high school mass shooting that happened in Parkland, Florida, yesterday .

I’m not trying to add more devastation and sadness, I like most people,  whether they have mental health diagnoses or not, cannot and will not  EVER  understand, how people can hurt another person with any kind of violence, let alone kill someone.

But I do have mental health issues. Mid late in life diagnosed non aggressive/non violent mental health issues (I can be mean at times, with words, when provoked, but on the defense and I don’t engage in every argument that I’m invited to, either).

I’ve been honest since my first blog on here, on how in both medical and mental health  crisis, I did try to get help, when I could see that I was heartbreakingly, humiliating and so unintentionally subjecting my children due to neglect and the price my children, family and I paid, as a result, of getting no where when trying to access safety nets that are supposed to prevent things that happened to my family, from happening.

I talk about it, so what my children, who are doing great while not because of me, but not despite me, either, so that it doesn’t happen to other families who fell through the cracks, like we did, as I love my children more than anything and anyone, and I wish every day for the last decade I could change what happened, but I can’t.

And it has saved other people’s lives by going public with my medical and mental health issues.

I’m NOT saying that to be self serving.

I get that the abnormality of my life, in not having responsibilities like most people my age, is shocking, what led to that is shocking, but I have tried, so  that we didn’t go through all of that in vain, for those who’ve experienced similar medical and mental health crises, falling through the cracks that are in the system, and with no social support.

The danger though that I fear, is when people, who are so shocked and saddened by such a horrifying tragedy that leads to multiple deaths due to shootings, in a home or a school DO NOT take the time to differentiate the difference between those with diagnosed mental heath conditions that would make them NO MORE LIKELY OR AT RISK to commit any kind of acts of violence, let alone depraved, cowardly, hateful and horrific premeditated mass murders or any kind of depraved inhumane acts of violence.

As much inroads that have been made, to try to destigmatize mental illness, it can be lost in the wake of these horrifying tragedies, but not knowing the difference, can also lead to loss of life and loss of freedom, in people who could and would NEVER ever commit any kind of crime, let alone an act  of violence.

I’m 48 years old. I’ve never seen a gun up close nor touched one. I would never own one. I believe strongly in gun reform initiatives, NOW.

I just believe that an honest and open dialogue about de-stigmatizing mental health, while it wouldn’t have made much of a difference as it applied to someone who heinously planned to execute as many people as possible, with an assault rifle, like in the massacre that happened yesterday,  he should’ve NEVER been cleared to get, regardless of backround checks which no civilian needs an assault rifle or other similar firearms in that category , nor was that thought of when our forefathers over  240 years ago, gave the people,  a constitutional right to bear arms.

But it is possible,  that a non judgemental open extensive and inclusive dialogue about mental health, could’ve made a difference, in the mother with postpartum psychosis who cared enough about people at one time, to do the good she did, but she and her family paid the ultimate price in the stigma that surrounds mental health, especially as it applies to mothers, with mental health issues, whether they know they have them or not.

We won’t know, but I don’t think we’ve tried to remove that kind of stigma, hard enough, openly and honestly, in hopes of those in need being able to get help or for others to recognize warning signs to possibly help prevent those kind of tragedies.

I’ve done the best I can, not ever knowing the grief that too many people have now had to bear due to senseless gun violence. It’s something that more people will die, just as senselessly, if action isn’t taken, immediately.

Gun reform, has to happen, NOW.

But it’s disheartening to see, because of the grief and terror these tragedies can cause that we don’t lose sight, that other weapons or items that are utilized other than guns, can be cause of mass casualties in civilians, if we don’t have the important dialogue about mental health and appropriate initiatives in place to monitor, evaluate, treat and prevent if possible, from mass casualties happening, in those who are diagnosed and those who are NOT, without honest open dialogue on mental health and mental illness in respect to guns and gun control, but with any kind of weapon or means that can cause mass fatalities by someone who’s mentally ill AND violent, or those who snap, and has no respect for the sanctity of human life.

At a minimum, BOTH, if not MORE  initiatives have to happen NOW.

This doesn’t have to be an either or situation. You can rightfully and respectfully demand gun control initiatives NOW, but also demand the conversations and initiatives that need to be in place, to monitor, evaluate, treat/rehabilitate and/or prevent these horrific mass casualties from happening over and over again, regardless of weapon of choice.

As well as initiatives that comprehensively support the loved ones who are lost or injured when tragedies like this take place.

Note: I am open to constructive dialogue. I purposely stay away most of the time, from social media, for many reasons, which doesn’t make me any better or any worse than anyone else.

Point I’m trying to make, requiring and/or a respectful dialogue and demand of action, is constructive.

The epic fights that tend to happen almost over everything, but especially in a topic of this importance, doesn’t help anyone. You can maintain a stance of agreeing to respectfully disagree and or show apathy, if you don’t agree with someone’s point of view (that’s rational)  and or just not engage with those of not of like minded as oneself.

Trying to fight horrific violence with vitriolic verbiage in sound bites on multiple social media platforms,  may not lead to violence, but it hampers from people uniting as quickly as we need to be,  to get what needs to be done to prevent these horrific tragedies, even though they aren’t to blame for them, OK?

Just please try to remember the commonality of purpose, which is to save lives, could be done more expediently, without the squabbling if not hateful rhetoric on multiple sides that occurs both on and off social media and due to politics.

And this may not mean much, but as a disabled activist, because I cannot blog about this topic anymore, where it would be constructive, I can get away in some cases with saying things that other people can’t, without consequence.

So for those of you, who while may believe in due process, I’m still glad prematurely, that Florida has the death penalty.

It just makes me sad, that should the killer who I don’t want to name or talk about, after today, should he get that, will possibly die more humanely, than the innocent people he slaughtered, horrifically physically and emotionally harmed yesterday and that makes me a tiny bit sad, and slightly hypocritical, as it applies to his evil waste of life,but I can live with myself, in the respect of my  NOT  having ANY empathy for mass murderers, rapists and pedophiles. I have a lot a of empathy for lots of populations of people, just not those people, but I think their histories bear importance, if there’s any chance in them not being repeated, but only to an extent where it serves the greater good of people.

Please keep comments if you should have any, constructive. Thanks…

And one last thing, I know this was really wordy, but this isn’t something that can be discussed in a sound bite. I happened to not catch others making similar observations like I have, that could help, if you know of those who have, but done so, more concisely, please let me know. Thanks.

Peace….

Things that are helpful to know for non-locals coming to Minneapolis (and/or Minnesota) for Superbowl 52/ #SBLII……

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http://www.salvationarmynorth.org

http://www.ststephensmpls.org

http://www.redcross.org

http://www.gtcuw.org

http://www.aeonmn.org

http://www.childrenscancer.org/zach

http://www.mnsuperbowl.com

(Trigger Warnings: My opinions are strictly my own. While as a disabled activist I try to raise money and/or awareness for the first 6 above links (the 7th is to help those who are traveling to Minnesota/Twin Cities for the events and/or leading up to Superbowl 52) are/or much different than those who strictly advocate for the homeless and/or affordable housing.

But in NO WAY represent in any manner, other than trying to support non profits, of what I say in my blogs, to try and help others.

Also, I come from the perspective of “respectfully agreeing to disagree”

My hopes are that for those who are visiting Minnesota and/or the Twin Cities area, have a happy and safe time, here, as well as how they can help those who might be in need, if they choose to do so, in the safest and most efficient way possible, is not congruent with other activists who are more vocal and present than I am .

While I defend others right to disagree with me, even with as much at stake when it comes to homelessness and/or public safety, I feel strongly enough to state my point of view, do whatever you feel is right to you, as long as doesn’t interfere with another’s right to feel safe and supported,  whether you are  local or just visiting.

Lastly, my disabilities and lack of income (as well as I’m having technical difficulties, as of late), prevent me from linking websites or videos, in my blogs or breaking the subject matters covered in this blog, into separate blogs.

Safety and first aid tools can be found by using search engines such as Google (I be a “Google Girl, as well as Local 5 local guide for Google under Unstapled Lisa) or helfpul training videos can be found  on You Tube.

But at this point in time, I’m still choosing NOT to monetize anything I do on social media, although at the end of this below, if I can help in a way that’s time consuming, I’m not going to turn down renumeration for my time…

Anyhow…… Thank you in advance, for reading this blog, (hopefully in it’s entirety )as it’s only meant to help…)

Here we go…

The poor disabled blogger who has high end tastes, wants to welcome and empower those who are scheduled or thinking about visiting the Twin Cities, for either Superbowl 52 and/or the many exciting events extended in the Twin Cities area (which would include Dakota/Scott counties, which I’m also familiar with, where concerts promoted by
Nomadic Live at Mystic Lake Casino in Prior Lake, that’s outside of Hennepin (Minneapolis) and Ramsey (St.Paul) counties).

I’ve happened to reside in the core of the Mini-Apple, for the last 5 years. I’ve lived in Minnesota (I was born in Brooklyn about 984 years ago) for the last 43 years. I have lived though, 4 1/2 blocks away from U.S. Bank Stadium for the last 5 years.

Being currently a poor disabled person who should’ve been a successful small business owner, who comes from an upper middle class backround, I kinda have a unique perspective on things.

Where I live and how I feel about Downtown Minneapolis, isn’t any different.

I know what’s great about the Twin Cities and what’s NOT so great.

What I am hoping to accomplish with this blog, is multi-fold:

I want people to have the best possible experience that multiple planning commissions have invested a lot of resources in, that benefits as many people as possible.

Including those who don’t have a voice, which is the nature of most of my blogs and the “armchair activism” that I do on the internet for different causes.

Here are my “Golden Rules” for visiting Minnesota for 52 and/or the activities planned for it (and the beauty is, it could pretty much apply to where you live or anywhere you visit) although the links in the blog are either MN or Twin Cities specific, except the Red Cross one.

1. Treat people like how you want to be treated when you’re at home:

I live super duper close to U.S. Bank Stadium. I don’t live in it, though. If you wouldn’t want people yelling and screaming your neighborhood for ANY reason, at any time of the day, please keep your noise level IN the stadium and/or public spaces where it’s encouraged.

But realize BOTH Downtown Minneapolis and St. Paul, are a mix of commercial and residential properties, sometimes co-existing  on the same block.

Downtown Minneapolis, as well as surrounding suburbs and counties, are very diverse of people of all walks of life. Maybe some people like it loud, lots of us, do NOT.

2. Please do NOT directly feed/finance the homeless:

No, I’m not a jerk. I believe strongly in helping the less fortunate, which is a category I actually fall in, but again, have not monetized ANYTHING I do on the internet (well other than this blog, possibly).

However…. IF everyone I know who claims to care about the homeless, gave to non profits versus a homeless person, directly, could probably house BOTH temporarily and permanently the homeless and less fortunate, dozens of people could have access to both temporary and permanent shelter, for about a year.

Not only that, it does  present a safety risk for the samaritan and it also unfortunately, I’ve seen this happen, provide a safety risk for the homeless person who one chooses to give money to.

If I am to be truthful, I usually if I’m staying in Downtown Minneapolis (or St.Paul) purposely look like a deranged lunatic. It’s not because I get pleasure out of scaring innocent people. I just get sick of being asked for money, sex and drugs all the time (and I’m not laying blame on the homeless for that). I’m just saying, it happens to work for me, just to say that I don’t have any money, whether it’s true or not, isn’t anyone’s business but my own.

I just politely look someone in the eye, say “I’m sorry, I don’t have any money” and quickly move on. I personally don’t feel the need to tell the truth to any stranger looking for something for me and I give, even with being poor both my time and money to those in need. By donating time and money to non-profits.

Again, this is with more than just the samaritan’s safety in mind. But unfortunately, people leave themselves wide open, for the potential to be robbed, because while sometimes, it’s possible, that homeless looking or professing person, may really ONLY needs a quarter, once you open your purse or wallet and give to them, you run the risk of getting asked by another person, who won’t take no for an answer, who sees you do that.

If there is something though, that rubs you the wrong way about those who are less fortunate, the 6th link is for The Zach Sobiech Osteosarcoma Fund at Children’s Cancers Research Fund. I’m kind of the mindset that if I can give to hospital that’s associated with a hospital chain that treats also adults and in my case, this particular adult, like total crap, if you don’t have empathy for those who are poor and/homeless, you can feel good about yourself in trying to help ERADICATE children’s cancers. I picked Zach, in about 9 other blogs that I explain in great detail, previous to this one.

Which brings me to the next topic…..

3. Learn safety tricks and first aid:

There are many videos for those who have time constraints or lack of money to learn how to best protect yourself. Minneapolis and St. Paul are not the U.S. hub of major crime, but it does happen here, like it could ANYWHERE.

I found because of my own disabilities, to feel less helpless and more empowered, to watch accredited and trained people’s videos on safety and first aid, so I would feel less helpless in an emergency or crisis situation of many kinds .

But also know that both the State of Minnesota, almost any city that could expect to have visitors, have excellent trained first responders to help in a true emergency. There’s also 10,000 (yes, you read that correctly TEN THOUSAND) people who volunteered to help visitors get help that they may need to have the best experience as possible, for the activities and/or leading up to 52.

And I’m about to say something that’s kinda contradictory. I do when I see visitors, it’s kind of like my own “random act of kindness” that I do, when I’m out and about, that’s not activism related, will offer to take pics of people who look like they’re tourists (well partially that’s driven by a few people trying to contort themselves to get in a selfie near a landmark and they’re seriously risking an ER visit, okay, I’ll stop being snarky).

Truthfully that’s not a good idea, to ask someone or it’s a risk you take, if someone doesn’t have good intentions, by giving them your smartphone to take a pic.

Also, don’t keep phones, hotel keys, car keys all in the same location, on your person. That way, if something bad happens, which hopefully it won’t, you won’t be out of EVERYTHING, should you get robbed. If you will be traveling with a group people, keep your valued possessions in different places on your person, than the others that you’re traveling with.

But personally, I think it’s a good idea for EVERYONE, who’s capable of operating a digital device, to take the ONE hour of your life, to learn various safety defense actions and emergency first aid. I can get the various reasons why people don’t have the resources to get certified, but I don’t understand how anyone cannot learn something that might save a friend or a loved one, by just investing a small amount of time that provides tools to save one’s life or another.

4. ASK FOR HELP AND/OR INSIGHT, IF YOU NEED IT:
Again, see above paragraphs. But also note, we earned the “Bold North” rep, for a reason. There are many resources for tourists on my 7th link above. While it’s good to have confidence in some things, if you’re new to snow or cold weather, ask for advice from people you trust, the volunteers and the tons of law enforcement or even me.

I’ve been to major cities outside of the Twin Cities, such as Miami/Ft.Lauderdale, New York City (not since my teens, tho), Las Vegas (almost 2 1/2 years ago) and London (England and Paris, France, almost 22 years ago and I’m not trying to be braggy) and got around fairly easily (in da olden days).

As well as I did get around extremely well, for a disabled chick, in Vegas.

While it might feel embarrassing,  even though there’s a ton of help for example with public transportation, and/or  if you’re renting a car, for example and SNOW or extreme cold, is new to you, don’t chance it. You’re not only risking your life, but those who ride in car with you and/or who has to share the road with you.

While a lot of steps have been taken for example, with accomodations, to make them as safe and scam free as possible, if you need help, PLEASE ASK.

Also have backup plans, in case something goes awry. Again, there’s a ton of help offline and you can also ask your social media buds who are local.

I know for me, personally, I’d rather answer the same question, 63,251 times than someone feel stupid and not ask for help and it causes harm to them, a loved one or an innocent bystander, and I’m NOT the only person who feels that way.

Because while most people are reasonable, and realize that you’re only asking the question for the first time, if someone’s going to be a jerk, what they have to say, doesn’t matter, anyway, RIGHT?

So, please ask for help, if you need it.

5. Lastly… :

This blog is with the best intentions, as I said previously, to help as many people as possible. While it’s true that I don’t monetize my internet or social media, in any way, I wouldn’t turn it down, either. I wouldn’t expect any kind of renumeration, for helping someone,  via email, if it takes 5 minutes. More than that, or more in depth type of help, feel free to try and negotiate and/or offer some kind of  compensation.

Hopefully this blog helped. I get that I’m super wordy, and if you’re new to my writing, I get that my syntax, among other things, could be better, but they’re NOT, because again, I have a bizarre set of complex medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities.

Also note, I’m amenable to constructive criticism. Nasty comments though, will NOT be posted….

Additionally, I do feel bad, as there are groups of people, that I hope to do more activism for, in the future, such as veterans. Right now though I am doing the best I can, to help as many people as possible.

But if one is so inclined to help a Minnesota based veteran, the following link, can help….

http://www.mac-v.org

And for those who have just a quick question that needs to be answered and/or in the rare case, if it’s someone’s a bariatric surgical patient who’s visiting the Twin Cities for the festivities of and/or Superbowl 52, I can be reached at my email address of unstapledlisa@gmail.com.

I apologize, as I re-published blog, while unfortunately, it made it even more wordier, it was necessary to best help as many people, as possible.

And unfortunately, with having both tech and WP issues, required publishing the blog, more than ONCE (well, three times to be exact and here’s to hoping the 3rd time is the charm)……

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