Disclaimers: This blog is both to achieve personal points and an activism goal. I do talk about appearance and weight.
I ask if any of the above, as I defend people to be of whatever weight they feel is in their best interest (meaning whether they believe in weight loss or being any size of the spectrum without stigma) as well as appearance, such as whether one wants to be glammed up or if they’re more like me and I look like I climbed out of under a rock, even with showering and fresh clean clothes on, that if any is a trigger to anyone, PLEASE don’t read.
Above meme is a current self portrait of sorts…
Well I guess if one is going to be picky, an internal one.
It’s not that I’ve haven’t been open on my internet spaces, of gaining a lot of weight, NOT really caring much that I have and that I look like the love child of Jabba the Hutt and Bride of Chucky, it’s that I’m okay with it, which is completely socially UNACCEPTABLE.
In fact it’s SO socially unacceptable, that to admit it, makes me looked more unglued mentally, than I was 10 years ago (you’ll have to read my very 1st blog on WP, to find out the deets for that).
As I get older though and more wiser, for me at least, what’s considered unacceptable to others, i.e. gaining weight (even though I’m trying not to gain anymore and/or lose a little bit and DO NOT want any weight loss advice, of like any kind) or that I don’t look the greatest, as it’s a symptom for me of something that it’s a mixed blessing and mixed bag of sorts, to accept.
My current disability sets are getting worse, as far as self care is concerned and I don’t love it, but have to accept that’s where I’m at and take personal inventory of what I’m capable of, in some kind of action.
Meaning what bothers me the most, is the failure on my part to do more than just get by, that I can’t take care of others.
That if I would die, I’d have nothing to give to anyone in either a legacy to be proud of or any type of financial support to my children and my parents, who I owe EVERYTHING to.
That as an activist, it’s getting unbearable to see the news daily, of all the unconscionable acts of violence and tragedies.
So, I’m taking stock of what I can do to be a better activist and to be better personally that’s focused in the medical and mental health arts and sciences, and what I can do to better my finances, before I get anymore disabled.
And being grateful at least that if I can’t be the best I can be on the outside, internally I’m mentally intact and can strive for more.
And that’s okay…
Note: Please NO food, diet and/or fitness advice. Thanks!!!