It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Posts tagged ‘#murdersuicideprevention’

A factor that may be playing into domestic murder/suicides that we aren’t talking about but maybe we should be…

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https://people.com/crime/border-protection-officer-kills-his-wife-and-2-children-after-family-day-at-disneys-animal-kingdom/

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMERS: I am NOT a clinically trained medical or mental health professional, nor am I trained in matters of law enforcement or public safety.

IF you or someone you know is in danger of hurting themselves or others, please get professional help in appropriate facility or contact emergency services, right away.

Important Trigger Warnings: While past blogs of mine, as a non clinically trained professional have talked about what can play into murder/suicides or mass killings with rejection, rage and the need for revenge to be a factor.

While all of these are tragedies, sometimes the catalyst for these tragedies, make no sense when the murderer has NO prior history of being violent or violent mental health issues, addiction, etc.

If discussion of this topic, especially that might be an unusual one take on what could be a factor that has not been discussed yet, could possibly be a trigger to someone, please don’t read. Thanks!!!…

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I haven’t been blogging lately, well I’ve just started, but haven’t published anything and while those blogs could help this particular issue, in my case of wanting as a an activist to talk about what can be done to prevent domestic murder/suicides but being limited on what I can do, other than write about it, I saw this article in People that’s linked above.

I have a great obligation, that while NO ONE asked me to take on, to be super sensitive that I do no additional psychic harm when talking these topics both to the survivors and the public and  I don’t have the training or qualifications that anything I should say should be of influence, maybe it’s worth saying though, on the off chance I could actually be right in thinking what the catalyst of some of these tragedies had foundation in, and what if, anything, that could’ve been done that might have been able to prevent them.

While, there’s so much in the news everyday of domestic murder suicide that I’ve talked about that DO have foundation in rejection, rage and the need of revenge, as terrifying as that is to talk about when they may be a factors when a family member murders their loved ones, there is other factors that need to be discussed.

Like LOVE.

BUT,  of and in the most wrong and misguided sense of the word, love.

If you read the above link about a father, who seemed like a LOVING father and husband, where the surviving family had no idea there wasn’t any trouble, maybe the only trouble that was tragically brewing was an unrecognized dangerous dysfunctional mindset of that father, thinking in some way  as tragically misguided as this could be and was, that maybe that him thinking it was an act of love and protection, as we do live in a scary world and in a world of 24/7 constant bombardment in all forms of media of how scary and cold this world can appear at times to some of us, if not all of us, at one time or another.

Which obviously doesn’t mean, a feeling of being unsafe is going to be a mortal threat to everyone, but we have to at least think about the fact it could very well be to some.

The blogs that I made mention that I’m still working on and would’ve wished to have finished them, before starting this one have foundations in hope, pain and future and what it’s like personally if one is devoid of hope for themselves but not necessarily for their loved ones or the entire world.

And where it bears mentioning in a blog of this nature, is the difference between someone dying of suicide and/or acting in a self destructive way not realizing they are hurting the ones they love the most, especially when they die but of those other than themselves they have left behind.

We have to at least think, talk and figure out without stigma, how as a society the intentions behind these tragic murder/suicides what their catalyst was and if we don’t take into consideration that some of them are not rooted in rejection, rage and the need of revenge, but out of a tragically misguided sense of love or what someone who’s capable of these tragedies thinks is love, we might have chance in possibly preventing future tragedies of this nature.

Important final notes: I did not omit suicide prevention resources, as an oversight, as vitally important and life saving as they are both when murder/suicides have a foundation in rage or the instances I brought up. I do believe, if you read top above link, that bringing up what I said in response to the link and talk socially among peers without stigma to educate that love doesn’t bring fatal harm and those who are in crisis to themselves, their loved ones and they are not being able to see that and are in danger of killing themselves and others, might help, including expanded existing initiatives and new ones.

Constructive feedback ONLY, please. Thanks!!!

#StigmaKills : Another day, ANOTHER #MurderSuicide…

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Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically trained professional. I will ALWAYS implore people in crisis to seek immediate clinically trained professional medical and mental health help and/or immediate help from law enforcement by calling 911.

The problem with above disclaimer, as exhibited in a blog from a few days ago and  with this particular blog,  which is to discuss another horrific murder/suicide that occurred on Tuesday, both involve members of the military who were in crisis.

I understand fully, that no one has asked me or expects a disabled blogger to solve complex crimes like murder/suicide or massacres.

But the problem IS, NO ONE is talking about it, from a professional point of view, in hopes to prevent these tragedies from occurring over and over again.

The horrific tragedy in California took place by someone who was actively seeking treatment but got kicked out of a program and there wasn’t any safety net, which I’m definitely not blaming anyone.

The horrific domestic murder/suicide that took place in the state of Washington, on Tuesday,was committed by a man, where it was talked about  a potential of marital discord, but the man after killing his family, had the horrible misguided enough sense of presence of mind to call 911, to report that he committed the murders and would be commiting suicide and THANK the first responders he spoke to, but NOT enough presence of mind to stop himself from killing his entire family and himself, in the first place.

When I went researching for initiatives, I found a lot of research, by both federal, state and educational entities on murder/suicide.

What I DID NOT find was INITIATIVES for PREVENTION of murder/suicides.

I hope those who are formally clinically trained in dealing with traumatic events of this nature, will speak up.

I hope that any news entity that reports these crimes, will question the lack of support systems for people in crisis who are capable of doing so much good in their lives, but then end innocent others lives and their own, in the WORST WAY POSSIBLE.

I hope that as many initiatives that need to take place to help prevent these tragedies, will FINALLY be created.

I learned when I volunteered in a battered woman’s shelter in my early 20’s, we were taught that the most deadly time for a battered victim was when they left their spouse.

25+ years later, that’s all changed.

Someone with NO record of domestic violence are now taking out their entire families for many complex reasons with NO warning signs and regardless of gender.

Or as ultimate revenge, letting the person they formerly loved but NOW hate, live, but killing the people that person loves the most, with NO warning signs.

Or there ARE warning signs but they are ignored, because no one wants to think of someone they love of being able to do such evil to them or another loved one of theirs.

We live in a society that NOW is showing CLEARLY, that a lot of people need help on how to constructively process hurt, rejection and rage, that doesn’t lead to innocent lives being lost.

And we need to start this when kids are young and continue to reinforce positive and constructive coping mechanisms when dealing with hurt, rejection and rage throughout our entire lives.

And we have to STOP sensationalizing these tragedies.

As they aren’t human interest stories or true crime, they ARE human tragedies.

I guess this my opinion on it.

One that I wish I could stop having to share over and over again.

I really wish though, if anyone has a better idea or a more qualified opinion, they would chime in with it, both on blog and like EVERYWHERE, because it’s really needed now, as these murder/suicides are tragically and senselessly, becoming a horrific daily event.

Note: I’m in NO WAY demonizing the service and sacrifices that our military makes for us, which I like anyone else, am eternally grateful for.

I’m only trying to constructively point out again, the need for more services needed for  both for military and civilians, to reduce the amount of horrific murder/suicides occurring on a daily basis.

Because again, it needs to be reiterated, that sometimes EVIL, can’t be prevented. But too many people who lived most of their lives trying to do good are ending others and their own lives in the worst ways possible and if there is any way to prevent this, we have to start somewhere and we have to start NOW.

So please, I encourage constructive dialogue, in hopes for preventing these tragedies.

Also note: I am though probably going to be taking a break from this topic for awhile, I’ve tried to do it justice, I just really can only hope that others way more qualified, finally chime in.

Important Update: At the time I both wrote and published this blog, the murder/suicide at UAB-Highlands Hospital had not started trending in any of the reputable news organizations I follow nationally and/or locally.

I can only reiterate what I said above and what I’ve said in the last week, month and last several years about  murder/suicide, not touch on 1/100th of them, if that.

I’m just hoping that these deaths do not continue to be in vain, that out of respect for victims and their families and friends, that comprehensive initiatives are created to try and combat this epidemic and horrific tragedies.

So this heartbroken disabled  activist is sending thoughts and prayers for victims, their families and friends,  as well as ideas for action and hopes others who possess the capacity to create concrete action, will do so.

Peace

Just HOW MANY MORE PEOPLE are going to have to die, this way???

 

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Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: I’m NOT a clinically and/or credentially trained professional in medical or mental health or in law enforcement.

IF someone you know, is in crisis, please seek immediate help right away, by contacting 911.

I just managed to catch an article on People.com, a few minutes ago.

Sadly, a young mother, who volunteered in her church, who had a Masters in Social Work, was shot to death on Friday, in St. Louis.

Well, let me elaborate more on this, the little information that’s out there.

She shot herself to death, after shooting to death, her husband and 3 month old baby, in a horrific tragedy that’s being blamed on her having postpartum depression.

But before I go any further, and again, I’m NOT a clinically trained professional of any kind, there needs to be a clarification between Postpartum Depression and Postpartum Psychosis, which I’d think her circumstances, would fall in line with  the latter that gets less attention, due to stigma, as far as the sufferers getting help for it.

There’s no laying blame in the shooter in this horrific tragedy, in this blog.

Other than, that there are so many domestic murder/suicides, I just don’t know why there isn’t more initiatives in place for rehabilitation and prevention.

This is a horrific topic that I’m sure my readers are sick of me, blogging about.

But sadly, it’s something that I can’t NOT keep talking about, NOR can any of us become numb or apathetic, just because we might not know anyone who’s died from a domestic homicide/suicide.

YET.

However, at the rate these horrific tragedies are occuring, they’re going to become more common, until major initiatives for prevention, evaluation and rehabilitation are in place.

It won’t stop until the stigma is removed and people can get help, without worrying about legal consequences, should they seek help, before they hurt someone else.

This is something we can’t wait any longer to have a national, if not global dialogue about and more initiatives in place.

Because this isn’t getting better, due to the deep stigmatization that’s in place, for parents who murder their children, regardless of gender, such as in this case and in other cases.

While it’s always a horrific tragedy, it’s even more so, when people who seem to have resources to get help, can’t do so, because of the stigma or because they are so mentally impaired, that they at least in this case, where I’m going to hypothesize, even while I’m only a non clinically trained activist, sometimes in drastic cases, such as this one, I’m thinking they might temporarily lose all touch with reality, with permanent, irrevocable and catastrophic outcomes, such as in this case, with someone who DID have a formal education on how to help people in crisis, but was incapable of helping herself, let alone those who she may have loved the most, but then committed such a horrific tragedy.

IF,  I had the means, which unfortunately, I don’t, as a disabled activist, I’d start a major initiative, in hopes of trying to  prevent these horrific tragedies from happening over and over again.

BUT, I AM capable of starting an urgently needed dialogue, that can hopefully result in more  initiatives being created,  to try and reduce this from happening, almost now on a daily basis.

http://www.psychcentral.com/lib/telephone-hotlines-and-help-lines/
(parental depression hotline can be found in above link)

Note: PLEASE, I don’t mention NOT having a discussion on gun control, NOT  because I don’t believe in it, because I DO. The problem is, especially in this case, the woman who committed the murder/suicide, not only was she a vital and well regarded part of her community, and while in this circumstances, there isn’t a lot of information, yet available, about this horrific tragedy, from the way it looks, she could’ve passed the most stringent backround checks, not just for a firearm, but for a lot of things.

Not to mention in the last year, children and spouses/significant others have died from being thrown into rivers and set on fire, that’s why I’m highlighting the murders versus the means that children and adults have been killed by those who are supposed to love them.

I hope as a I said before, that the variety of reasons that play into domestic homicide and suicides do vary. In this case, I do think that for all the education that’s out there for new mothers, before a baby is born and after, that this NOW needs to be discussed without stigma.

Whether it be in society, prenatal classes, postnatal education both online and in offline venues, such as hospitals (postnatally or doctor’s offices)  and other places for education for parents of babies and children.

I mean people have to have a license to drive a car and are educated and evaluated for that, but there’s no extensive education required (but it’s out there, but just not in the capacity for parents in crisis, like it should be) to have a child, I’m not saying this judgmentally, just saying, we need more resources in place to protect both innocent children and people of all ages from emotional and physical harm, as well as death.

So that’s why, even with my normal disclaimers in place, it wouldn’t make a difference in this particular horrific and heartbreaking tragedy and that’s why I’m urging dialogues and initiatives.

Because it will save lives.

(additional/editorial note: I could’ve been clearer, websites and hotlines contained in both above and in body of this blog, in addition to being potentially helpful for those IN crisis, it could also help for OTHERS  to recognize warning signs before (even though sadly, sometimes they’re not there) and/or get help, after,  should tragedy strike.

I apologize for not being clearer)

PLEASE , if you don’t have anything constructive to say, don’t comment. I welcome constructive feedback or if people know of more resources that are out there, to notify me, privately or in the comment section of this blog.

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