It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Posts tagged ‘#internetbullies’

“Master Hater Baiters”…..

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I’m actually kind of in AWE of the disproportionate amount of hate, I get for the amount of hits on my blog or what I say on Facebook (as most of my posts are public) and the little that I’m on Twitter.

But when I get 2 separate and anonymous hateful emails calling me out on my disabilities on blog that’s ONLY been read 4 times, all being referred from Facebook, in the last 6 hours, it’s time for a reminder.

IF you think and maybe you’re right, that there’s subjects I shouldn’t tackle, such as weight issues or serious mental health issues and YOU can do a better job or make a point, both clearer and faster, you’re more than welcome to try. I, ACTUALLY  wish you would.

BUT….. I’m not going to wait too long, anymore, to tackle subjects I feel that are important and no one wants to talk about them. HOWEVER…..I am not a masochist, I get told 10 to1, that I help more than I hurt, that’s why I continue to do the activism that I do. My memory issues which are irreversible, isn’t  gonna get any better. So there’s really NO point telling me to stop writing, until I can concisely do so.

BECAUSE,  I used to be FUCKING brilliant (like, seriously brilliant, like MENSA material) , in addition to having all the time the world, I’ve noticed when I’ve gotten anonymous hate from “Facebook Frenemies”. I can pick up on certain nuances and/or communication styles of people that I have social media connections, to.

I’m kinda like a demented Santa Claus who has somewhat an idea for those who do have a social media connection to me, only, because they get some kind of perverse satisfaction, in their thoughts  that my life is crappier than theirs. That makes them wrong, not just on one account. Because anyone who derives pleasure by cowardly sending anonymous hateful words, has a life I definitely DO NOT envy.

And depending on what they hate me for, dictates whether or not they remain a connection. But not only do I find them not enviable, I kinda find them on the entertaining side. So they really are EPICALLY FAILING in trying to hurt my feelings.

So this is again, reminding those, who go out of their way to hate on me, by putting vague words in a subject matter that could be construed as someone who might possibly needs help, that while I have all day to fight with some stranger (or someone I might know) on the internet, that I choose not to. That I’ve been bullied for over 40 years now, there’s nothing anyone on the internet could say to me, that would BREAK me. If my past circumstances DID NOT, NOTHING could, at this point. But I’m definitely more than capable of defending myself, need be.

Again, it’s by conscious choice that I’m kind and empathetic. I don’t  identify as being “nice”. And while I have references for being a kind and funny ole soul, I also have references for being a vile bitch who can eviscerate people with words. It’s true in the expression “Damaged people ARE Dangerous, because they know they can Survive”….  While 99.5% of the time, I won’t waste “all the time in the world” that I have, in engaging with those who don’t have my best interests at heart, on rare occasion, I do.

I don’t do anything else, though. Other than reading briefly the hate, I get, I don’t do anything else, other than writing a blog.

BUT…. Better you pick on me, than someone else, who might be vulnerable. And who you might actually hurt.

IF you’re that fucking devoid of a soul and a life.

AND, I’ll leave it to the discretion of the reader of who’s actually the “Master Hater Baiter”…. The blogger with complex disabilities  who tackles controversial subjects and tries to do so with integrity and their identity attached to it or a fucking cowardly intentionally cruel HATER…..

Later, Gators………

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The Biggest Train Wreck???

   I haven’t blogged lately. I’ve been out of sorts and so has my laptop.

   It happened to be also, I’ve felt overexposed on social media. While I believe in the activism and advocacy I do, not everyone closest to me agrees with it. It took me though 3 years to get up the courage to launch it, and I’ve gotten A LOT of feedback that’s positive from people of going public with things that are stigmatized and carry a lot of shame. 

  It also happens to be that lately, I’ve been getting messages, Facebook friend requests and messages in my private email regarding my gastric bypass complications and my gastric bypass reversal (which I’m probably going to do another blog, specific to that, soon).  I decided to use a search engine with my Word Press name, to find out if that was the origin of all these new inquiries. Earlier this afternoon.

 You can only imagine my horror, when I found my blog that I wrote in 10-2013, called “Haunted/You’ve Got Time”, copied on a blog site called biggesttrainwrecks dot com. I’m not giving them any hits, although I’ll link my blog that was reposted there without my permission, below. 

 Actually, no one really can imagine our own individual nightmares. So you really can’t imagine my horror.  I don’t have the worst life. I’m not the sickest person on the planet, nor am I the worst mother in the world. I say what I say in that blogs and in others, in hopes to help people when it comes to medical, mental health and cognitive disabilities and what I do as far as the weight loss surgery community and size acceptance is to give topics a voice, that no one wants to talk about. While I’ve been through extraordinary painful and humiliating things, my hopes is if I talk about them, others will, too. 

  And they have entrusted their most painful secrets to me and gotten help. It won’t change the past for myself or my children, however it can help others, going forward. 

  Whoever thought it would be funny though to expose a really badly written blog that was horribly painful to write, by a disabled blogger, I hope you got a good laugh. You may think I’m one of the internet’s “biggest trainwrecks”, but anyone who gets pleasure out of people’s pain, is the biggest bully. That should carry more shame then anything I ever did or wrote about. As I never intentionally did anything to cause anyone any pain. Let alone try to profit from others pain…. That still isn’t going to deter me of telling my truths and make it easier for others to share theirs.

   Shame on you, though….. http://biggesttrainwreck.com/ailink/4824/

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