It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Posts tagged ‘#EPICGOOGLEFAILS’

Google apparently HATES me and is apparently trying to KILL me…

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Disclaimer: This profanity laced blog is to be silly and/or slightly entertaining. Although I’m kind of befuddled on why when using Google’s search engine to find out how far it is from Dubai to Amsterdam, I’d get the option for directions on how to WALK there, I’d seriously strongly advise AGAINST , that this is not a cross-continental walking trek ANYONE should be making, let alone, ME.

That’s if one can even legally do that of any sort, which I doubt, whether they are an American or NOT.

I’ve been in serious activist mode, too long, so when finding that my You Tube account wasn’t working, late tonight,  I thought I’d read the news articles suggested for me in Google, even though they are usually not as wisely suggested, as videos.

While I didn’t find it anymore comforting about human nature reading an article about a Carnival Cruise that had to make a detour to get rid of a family of 23 people who were unruly on a cruise, when I read an article about an international flight that had to make an emergency stop, I decided, as pictured above, just out of curiosity,  to use Google to find out how far Dubai was from Amsterdam, which was the flight route.

In fairness to Google, I do end up having to use their search engine to look up some pretty diverse things, as an activist, and as a disabled activist, to fact check or better research some of the topics I blog about.

Other than planning and booking my trip to Vegas in late September of 2015, I haven’t given ONE inkling I’d like to go anywhere outside of where I live, let alone outside of Minnesota, and most definitely NOT any inkling that I’d like to outside of the continent on a walking tour.

I don’t know what makes me more FUCKING mad. That my premium (cause yeah, I pay for You Tube/Google Music, that way I don’t have commercials) isn’t working and that for the first time (as I’ve been curious to find out mileage destinations before, based upon news articles) why the FUCK they would for the first time, give me driving or walking  directions on a dangerous not recommended for any HUMAN being walking tour given distances and destinations, but especially, Especially, FUCKING ESPECIALLY for someone they know without a doubt, is a disabled activist and knows I don’t fucking drive, given my looking up public transit routes and having that site, bookmarked on FUCKING Google.

I didn’t take pictures of the directions of the exact FUCKING 3,820 mile cross continental trek, because when quickly scrolling for fucking over 30 minutes, it didn’t even take me out of Dubai, and while I can’t speak Hebrew anymore, I can read it, but I don’t know any Arabic, let alone the 15+ FUCKING languages that it would probably take to do something FUCKING ridiculously dangerously stupid and so unlikely by anyone.

And if I’m to be honest, I do find it kinda bizarrely hilarious and horrifying, at the same time.

So NO, I really don’t believe Google is trying to kill me.

Unless it’s unintentionally trying to aggravate  me to death, by no access to You Tube and a non fun detailed dangerous not recommended walking tour that NO ONE would ever try to do.

But hopefully, this worked being funny or as a sedative, if you’re having trouble sleeping like I am… Of if you ever had an intellectual curiosity, which I fucking NEVER HAVE HAD, an inkling of what it takes to walk from Dubai to Amsterdam, well then, you’re welcome.

Sheesh……..

p.s. Also note,  to add insult to injury I AM a fucking local 5 guide for Google. Where approximately  95% of my reviews of places are within a 1 mile radius of where I live and ALL of them are within a 15 mile radius, where I live, because they know exactly where I live, from being a guide and a paying customer.

p.s.s. For those who follow me on social media, I’m not planning on being on Facebook or Twitter for awhile, my blog though auto-posts to both. I’m not even walking within locally in Downtown Minneapolis much, so if I take a badly needed break also from blogging, I’m not using my Fitbit Zip, much, either.

And while right now, giving up the internet, sounds appealing, it’s highly unlikely, so if you want to get ahold of me, email me. Thanks.

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