I’ve been online for a couple of hours, and I’m horribly disappointed, actually disappointed probably doesn’t cover it, let’s try FUCKING OUTRAGED, that people have nothing better to do then to body shame, whether it’s fat shaming OR thin shaming. It happens all the time, this is what’s “trended” in my newsfeed in the last 36 hours.
Because I happen to be a body diversity acceptance advocate, when a meme hits my newsfeed on social media that shames any body type, especially a certain meme that’s starting to go viral, I’ll download it, because I regularly blog and do body diversity acceptance.
Sadly, the following meme below has been shared at least 3 separate times, this morning by my Facebook buds. Even more pathetically, it’s been by WLS peeps, that I usually adore. As well as I’ve had to see when their friends shared it and the nasty comments that followed, in agreement with the sentiment of the meme.
What’s even more disheartening see shit like the above be shared by a weight loss peer of mine, is the fact that what I refer to the “formerly fat” who’ve had weight loss surgery, know how shitty it is to be a target of fat hate. The 3 of you who shared this, are also activists of sorts for causes or discrimination outside of weight.
Furthermore, why someone’s weight leads them to a mobilized scooter is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS and certainly not for you to judge, but especially, especially, ESPECIALLY, if one has to resort to having their digestive system surgically altered to lose weight.
Let me enlighten some of my weight loss surgery peeps who think it’s ok to post memes like the one above (let alone anyone else)….
I know quite a few fat people who are in mobilized scooters for heartbreaking reasons. I know at least 3 people who want weight loss surgery and they can’t get it, because they need bilateral total knee replacements. They are in a vicious cycle where they can’t get their knees replaced until they lose weight and they can’t lose weight and/or get bariatric surgery because their mobility is impacted by having crappy knees to meet a bariatric surgeon’s weight loss requirement to qualify for weight loss surgery.
Then there is at least 2 people I know who are in need of mobility scooters who are still fat after weight loss surgery but gained weight because they had older weight loss surgeries (like vertical banded gastroplasty that proceeded the laproscopic adjustable banding) their metabolisms, digestive systems and bodies are shot, even though they can’t eat much and either don’t want to have another bariatric surgery and/or they can’t because again, their mobility is impacted by damage done to their bodies already by bariatric surgery.
Note: This is not an anti-wls blog, no need to defend wls, just stay on topic, which is body shaming.
Then I know another 4 or 5 people who are in mobility scooters who had weight loss surgery lost quite a bit of weight, however they were at a higher weight when they started, so even though they lost a hundred to a few hundred pounds, they are still are clinically morbidly obese. Some of them have medical health issues, such as crappy thyroid or MS, to name a few. Some of them can’t ever get to their goal weight due to mental health issues due to being psychotropic meds that wreck havoc with metabolism as well as create the food obsession from HELL (reason for my EPIC regain prior to my reversal, even though I had so many gastric bypass complications).
Those are just a few examples of why people are fat and need a mobility scooter and why fat shaming pics, really piss me off, from ANYONE. But especially for those of you who had weight loss surgery and know how harshly we get judged for having that.
The thin bashing pics that I’ve seen in the last 36 hours ain’t any better. I get the need for size acceptance and fat acceptance, that’s why I do activism for that. It’s not necessary though to post memes like I’ve seen, featured below…
Great, so not only are there is thin shaming pics, let’s throw in slut shaming, too. And I’m not even going to touch slut shaming in this blog, I am going to say though, people can make a point about a need for fat acceptance without body shaming, anyone. I’ve met women who were naturally extremely thin or extremely thin due to how pervasive fat shaming and oppression is. Women who were suicidal because they were bullied for being too thin, all their lives, just like people who’ve been suicidal, due to fat hatred….
Sometimes, I wonder why I even bother to do this activism, regarding body shaming. I feel like I’m fighting a battle that will NEVER have significant and measurable progress. And while I can say I’ve been trying to lose some weight, and I have lost some, that I get hit hard when it comes to fat and thin shaming, as I’ve been both in the past. And presently. And for some fat acceptance advocates, because I do activism that’s weight loss positive (i.e. choice to lose weight, including defending a surgical intervention), and because I talk about my own personal weight loss on rare occasion, I get called out for being a shitty fat acceptance advocate.
At the same time, others in the weight loss surgery community, use me as an example of what not to look like or weigh post weight loss surgery. I probably would be hit harder by all of this crap, personally, but after I’ve been through, if all anyone can deduct is that I’m a shitty weight loss surgery peer or a shitty fat acceptance activist, they are TOTALLY missing the point.
I’m a great activist and support system to all people who don’t have a voice who have to be bombarded by bullshit body shaming on what’s already going an alarming rate, and it’s only getting WORSE.
I’m not good at many things, but I’m fucking ROCKING when it comes to instilling empathy and understanding in others. Unless, of course one is a hateful bigot that there’s no hope for….
Here’s a fairly recent full body picture of me, that was taken exactly a month ago on 5-14-2015…..
So yeah, I don’t have the type of body that’s fat and full of curves. I carry both weight and a lot of extra skin, as well as a ventral hernia behind my reversal scar (hence why I’m trying to lose a little weight, as it’s uncomfortable, my weight though at my heaviest and thinnest has NEVER been a health issue) primarily in my midsection. But I’m also, though, no longer thin. So while I relate to, what I’ve called being an “inbetweenie”, as I’m 10 sizes smaller on average, then my heaviest and I’m about 10 sizes bigger than my smallest, most people don’t understand my personal tie to my activism.
My weight though, is no longer,( unless I’m at Bebe or Guess?) the most noticeable thing about me. I take up one seat on the bus, I fit in a booth comfortably and walk a lot, even though I’m quite disabled from everything I’ve done to be thin and stay there.
People have to stop judging and shaming things they will NEVER understand. The above memes posted in this blog, show that everyone, even the most nicest people, can have an ugly side, that’s hopefully open to positive change so they aren’t continually both harming and hurting a class of people’s feelings, as it applies to our body size, young and old, male and female.
So the next time you post a body shaming meme, think about if it could hurt someone you love. let anyone else you care about. While Melissa McCarthy was quoted in an interview, recently, about a movie review who body and appearance shamed her in the past, of my saying to the man, “what if your daughters had to read this, how would you feel?”
I’ve been saying the same thing. For YEARS, now. And I have a personal stake in this, because all the body and looks shaming, everything I’ve done to be thin, is largely to blame, of why I’m not actively raising my OWN daughter.
So yeah, I guess I’m in this type of activism, as far as body diversity acceptance for the long haul. I’ll be damned that everything I’ve been through, was for nothing. I’ll do what it takes to remove body hate, in hopes that improves quality of lives, if not save a life.
And to do at least SOMETHING, to make this world a better place for my own daughter to live in. As well as EVERYONE’S sons and daughters to live in.
Note: Same rules apply, as usual. You are more than welcome to respectfully disagree with me. ANY comments that could be potentially triggering to a reader, will NOT be posted. I’m asking in advance, let’s not play the “health” card in either direction. Because admit it, none of the shaming memes posted above, has ANYTHING to do with health.