It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Posts tagged ‘#bloggingwithdisabilities’

Just a FRIENDLY reminder from a cognitively/neurologically impaired blogger…..


Yes, many people do behave in a manner as exhibited in above “someecard”. If I had a dollar for every judgment made against poor writers and/or communicators, that I read on a daily basis, I’d be able to afford an full time editor, chef, chauffeur, masseuse and be writing this from my multi million dollar mansion.

Here’s you’re/yore/your really badly written, but still kinda BRILLIANT, retort. But because it’s coming from me, it is kinda on the friendly, snarky and funny side, too.

Anyhoo, I was scrolling through my newsfeed tonight on Facebook when the below link showed up…….

Now, it saw the the link, and my 1st thought was “should I even read this”??? And thought  ” Oh heavens no, I should not”.

Then, I did actually, unfortunately, read it. And thought “Oh NO, this is going to bring out even more improper English usage HATERS/HATING” !!!

I don’t know if it’s due to luck that I have Facebook friends who will hate on improper English usage, but, as it applies to me, knowing that I have disabilities that make it IMPOSSIBLE for me to write well, so they leave me alone, as well as understand because they are a kindly sort, of why it’s so important for me and for others, to tell my story, of how became this disabled in the first place.

 Whatever it is, it’s working for me. Except with my anonymous haters.

But I obviously couldn’t give two shits, what they think, hence, why I am STILL blogging.

Let’s get something straight. I didn’t always write so poorly. And as much of my life story, which sometimes absolutely scares the SHIT out of people, it’s helped people enormously, whether my activism on social media, the internet at large and THIS blog.

As crappy as my grammar can be. As hard as it is for me to think and express myself in logical sequence of order, as far as thought. Even though I know my punctuation just isn’t right. Even though I know what a homonym is, sometimes if I’m over cluttered in thought, I’ll misuse them. I’m still going to keep writing, anyways.

I have a lot of social media contacts who are writers. They write extremely well. I read a lot better and more effectively than I write. And I’m grateful for my ability to be still able to read, given my bizarre and complex disability sets. As well as having the ability to think in intelligent thought. And I still have at times, good critical thinking and analyzing skills.

Here’s where your “friendly” reminder comes in, when it comes to being overly critical of another’s writing and/or communicating  skill.

The reason why I am writing this, is because I see people making fun if not being absolutely hateful, of people who write poorly and assuming it’s due to being  uneducated, stupid  or  lazy, EVERY day, now, on social media. It’s to the point where not only are you becoming REALLY boring, having this as a cause, but you actually are  becoming and/or ARE a bully. It doesn’t matter how many causes you may do activism for, if you hate on people who for some reason can’t write or speak well, for reasons you need to trust me, that you should be grateful, that you DO NOT understand, this.

But, maybe,  one should try a little harder to understand, OK?

And while I can’t be hypersensitive to this kind of hate, just like I can’t with fat hate and stay anything resembling sane, as this happens ALL the time on social media.

And this bears repeating…. Because for someone who had a great future at one time and never saw my life turning out the way it did pan out, this little blog of mine, did become the “little horribly written blog that did some amazing things” for vulnerable people in need and more importantly, in CRISIS. As well as be a voice for people who have NONE.

IF, I had not started my blog when I did, there would be several people who would NOT be alive. Some of those that would have died without my blog,would be due to those I’ve stayed up all night and made sure they got professional help, when suicidal. Who told me straight out that I saved their lives.

Others who I walked through and emotionally held their hands, while they got help for serious gastric bypass complications that were nearly fatal, and they didn’t know where to start as far as getting help.

I’ve had loved ones who lost family and friends  due to suicide and/or were hoarders, as well as other serious mental illnesses, thank me for explaining my mindset, at my sickest an d them being able to FINALLY understand aspects of serious mental illness issues, that even a professional couldn’t explain to them (As always, I’m NOT a clinically trained professional, I will always urge people whether in crisis or not, to seek professional help) and they were able to make their peace, with what they thought was neglect, apathy or hatred of themselves by themselves or a loved one, was really a mental health issue that their loved has/ had NO control over. And that their parent, child, loved one actually did LOVE them, even though they were no longer alive or they don’t have the capacity to understand their mental illness and it’s negative long term effects on their loved ones and they were able to heal.

I’ve had other social media peers because of my blog, getting up the courage to launch their blogs.

I’m not saying the above to be self serving. I’m trying to make a point.

Point I am trying to make, is that I did not launch my blog  when I wanted to, in 2010, due to fear. There was multiple reasons why I was afraid. I come from an uber private family. I was afraid of getting judged harshly by strangers. I knew I would get even more judged by people who could hate on me anonymously. While most of my fear of being hated on, was for being a very unintentionally crappy mother, it was a justifiable fear.

And  I did also fear, coming off, uneducated. Which I am educated. And I used to be really smart and had amazing communication skills, both in writing and speaking, that I just don’t have anymore. And the reasons WHY I don’t have them anymore, is one of the reasons I blog. But as I said before. I blog for many reasons. Primarily so what happened to my family, doesn’t happen to another.  That my daughter has in my words, while I’m able to articulate them, of how much I love her and her brother. To help those who are crying and dying on the inside because of stigma. Or those who have had medical crises but won’t seek medical attention because they’ve been labeled as well as those who are in psychiatric crises. As well as I use my blog to talk about anything I think is blogworthy. I can’t be serious all the time. The activism I do, is of serious nature and it would not be healthy for me to have a single minded focus on ANY topic for any extended period of time.

I think what would have happened if I had NOT started my blog. And those who might have died. Or more people I could’ve helped, if I wouldn’t have been afraid.

I think about those who need support and/or those who’s life struggles and their thoughts and insights about their own struggles, could help other people, enormously, if they didn’t live in fear of being judged. So they stay silent. That makes me incredibly sad when anyone is shamed or stigmatized into silence. And it makes me try harder as an activist to eradicate stigma and make others feel comfortable in sharing their truths, so they can get help and heal.

But I ain’t a saint. If I could get back at the Perfect English Usage peeps (I call them “peus”, clever, ain’t it??)  as exhibited in the cartoon below, I would. In a heartbeat.



I also have pet peeves of my own, when it comes to abusing the English language.

People who write like this: “If u no ware I bee cumming frum, den  hit me up, K??? 4 reelz 😉 ” .  This is annoying as fuck.  I figure though anyone who’d write like this, would be the last person to read my blog, but I still wouldn’t want to “hert der feeleengs”.

People who speak in abbreviations/acronyms (note my wls/weight loss surgery peeps are notorious for this, they are usually the biggest grammar guards out there, but I still love you and you still  love me, right???) It takes 2 more seconds to say “roux-en-y gastric bypass” vs rny gastric bypass, ” duodenal switch” vs. ds, “vertical sleeve gastrectomy” vs. VSG. And of course, those who spell  WLS vs speaking or saying the words “WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY”, when actually speaking.  Even if your audience is just a population of bariatric surgical patients, they may not  know all the abbreviations. Or, I digress but to say that not everyone cares about weight loss surgery matters. Shocking, isn’t it?

And I cop to being amazed at certain things, in the realm of others’s stupidity,  as I’ll post a link of when someone created a Twitter account for “United Airlanes” vs. United Airlines.

As it’s one thing to have a typo on a mobile device when mad. But not to recognize it, after I period of time, even I will find that hilarious. And I’m not above wondering how people like that can afford a plane ticket  and have the ability to travel, let alone make their way out of bed, each morning.

The thing is, I rarely make fun of people. And usually the only person I make fun of, is myself. Even rarer, is the fact I’m copping to this, publicly, because I usually keep the few really mean thoughts I have of others, usually to myself unless I’m provoked. I’m usually kinda the Robin Hood of defending the vulnerable with snarky wit from snobby haters. And while sometimes I will lose. But when I win, I win BIG.

And provoke me enough, as you can see, I can be quite the bitch.

So, hopefully this gives something to ponder, before one thinks they are better than another because someone else has barriers from being able to articulate themselves in proper English form.

If you wouldn’t judge another by looking different (which you shouldn’t) don’t judge another because of their difference in communicating. They/we may have very good reason for “breaking the rules”.

Your Welcome (ok, now I’m just fucking with you…You’re Welcome) ….  😉

Note: Same rules apply. You can respectfully disagree with me. Or risk wasting your time on a comment, if hateful, that won’t bother me, that won’t get published. Also, please don’t assume this blog is personal, if I have any kind of tie with anyone who reads this and bristles. Contact me for clarification before you end an association with me. But in addition to missing my wit, I be too fucking funny to unfriend on Facebook, right???

p.s.  I have to confess this, as well. I have amazing search engine skills. With the extent of the cognitive damage I have, I couldn’t even differentiate in my head the difference between abbreviations and acronyms, even though I can read and understand, I can’t utilize the difference in my own writing.

Just reiterating that everyone has a barrier that compromises their ability to express themselves, efficiently and effectively, as well as interpret accurately others intentions when speaking and writing.

Says the disabled blogger  who got a “B” in Critical Thinking and English in college and an “A” in Speech. 🙂

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