It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

Posts tagged ‘#10YearChallenge’

My Karma Is STILL A Bitch #10YearChallenge …

 

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Disclaimers: This blog is more of a personal blog, than to achieve any kind of activism goal, although it does highlight a few things that cause me to be an activist.

Uggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Okay.

SOOOO,  I’m not on social media much, but on the internet.

The little I go on social media, it’s Facebook.

Not because I have this great love for  da  ‘book, I think it’s vile but no more vile than it’s competitors for people’s attention span, in social media spaces.

I didn’t know though what social media was 10 years ago.

I was still in the system post suicide attempt from Summer of 2008.

When I found Facebook a little over 8 years ago, it was a bizarre but kind of useful way to get acclimated into society, when I started living on my own in January of 2010 (which the whole gory story that it was, is in my 1st blog here on WP).

In the beginning, Facebook allowed me to reconnect and connect with people, socially, in a way that I originally found acceptable.

And in the last 8 years it’s definitely showed me who my real friends are, few and far between.

I am NOT made for this era.

Don’t get me wrong, some of this technology IS really convenient and/or life enhancing.

A lot of this technology is NOT though or how people play the game of life in the social media era is just too difficult and/or soul crushing for me.

For the last few years, I’ve only gone on Facebook, usually only once or twice a month.

Twitter, I only go on, if I need to check something blog related, so it’s way less, maybe quarterly.

I needed the above 300 words to explain the whole reason for this blog.

So, when I went on Facebook about a week and half ago, I noticed something called the “#10YearChallenge”.

I get it’s appeal for both Facebook and it’s users.

I don’t think I’m any better or worse than anyone who enjoyed doing it.

Which I didn’t even attempt it.

Bizarrely, externally, I’m exactly the same I was exactly 10 years ago.

I look the same, I weigh the same and have physically the same skill sets.

I was probably more active then, only out of necessity because I shared a room with 3 other people in 2009.

I’m still living on my own for the last 8 years, but being exposed for the last 10 years of other people’s barriers and bad habits have left me kind of like a recluse gone rogue, but for greater good for others, when I can help people and I realize the irony the ONLY way I help people, is because of the digital era and the access that allows me to others, to help them.

I probably couldn’t care less for that reason, actually not at all, that whether it would’ve been #3YearChallenge, when I looked better and did more than I am now, thank goodness it wasn’t a #15YearChallenge and when I was living a whole different better more productive rewarding life and it would be depressing to have to even think more than I already do, which is ALREADY daily, about that period of time that was the best in my life, even though it had it’s challenges.

I am still going to take my own different #10YearChallenge using words  and if it would help anyone else to do so,whether privately or on here, feel free to do the same:

#1. As much as I complain, I know what’s good, I am grateful everyday for that.

#2. I know myself well and am okay with that, even though I know I have a few strengths and my weaknesses bother me, I still know how to let my sorta free but still sorta in fear freak self fly when I can, but ground myself when it’s in my best interest (metaphorically, obviously!!!).

#3. I’m trying to accept that even though I’m 17 years post gastric bypass and over 8 years post gastric bypass  reversal, that a few of us are always going to be on a bizarre learning curve, health wise and eating wise, as in my case I currently feel like a new gastric bypass patient who’s pregnant (NEITHER is possible) with hyperemesis and it feels like a sick joke, of just how hard it is to eat and drink anything, for the last couple of months.

#4. The hardest thing is acceptance of things that aren’t acceptable, but I’ve been lucky with that, with everyone I love the most still being alive, but at the same time not being able to positively affect their life, but I can change for the better, usually, total strangers with the type of activism I do. Things will have an ebb and flow of good and bad and that a sense of humor and empathy for others, can help a lot and that I’m blessed to have both traits.

Well, these are my contributions in my own wacky #10YearChallenge.

Again, I don’t think that people are bad, if they feel better  in regards to appearance or if they’ve improved their lot in life where it can be qualified and quantified in pictures,  makes them bad.

It just in my case as an activist, is a slight cause for concern that we don’t talk about our insides more, from a psychological growth perspective , as well as personally. Some of us have intangible growth that can never be measured by photography and only with personal evaluation and inventory and that also should be rewarded, if not celebrated somehow, if not by others, at least by ourselves.

Note: I have a bazillion (like seriously, a bazillion)  wls social media buds, who loved the challenge, I’m NOT picking on anyone for any reason. for liking the challenge, nor am I jealous.

I’m in competition with one person and one person, ONLY.  ME, prior to 2007 and if I can’t beat the badass bitch I once was, so be it, and I just don’t care to compete with anyone else.

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