It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

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Disclaimers: While this blog is both a combination personal blog, as well as to achieve some activism type of goals, when it comes to medical, mental health and public safety, I will ALWAYS implore people, when in crisis, to seek clinically trained professional help if they are or they suspect someone else is in crisis, immediately and or call 911 (because 1/2 my readers are outside of the U.S./North America, and/or Emergency Services in one’s country of residence). Thanks.

OR, may I ask, with NO expection of an answer to me, what are you actually THINKING, when NO ONE else is looking?

Because it matters.

A LOT.

In my case,  and it will be also a topic for another blog, as far as it applies to social media and my loathing and fear of social media.

In my case, what I do and what I think, is usually done in the privacy of my own home.

My blogs from the last month, whether they talked about people in crisis of all different types, where most of my blogs were concentrated on those who’s thinking and actions, lead to fatalities, in innocent others.

Also a few of my blogs of last month, were in regards to Superbowl 52, which was exactly a month ago, that occured 4 1/2 blocks from where I live.

It feels like both yesterday and 100 years ago, that Superbowl 52, took place, which I didn’t care for, because I was afraid of something bad happening and I don’t like being in the spotlight in any way or any kind of attention, which meant for the 2 weeks around Superbowl Sunday, I became super reclusive, even for me, in the era of smartphone cameras, as well as global networks being in my neighborhood.

As well as the tragic massacre in Parkland, Florida that happened, 10 days later.

Unfortunately, but so gratefully, I’m lucky that if I don’t feel well, I don’t have to do anything.

And when I feel my worst medically and mentally, not only do I have to not  do anything, just try to deal with my medical and emotional pain, I don’t do anything else, even though that my medical and mental emotional pain is only a hindrance to myself, even though I usually respond to various help queries, everyday.

I realize that most people, don’t have the luxury of both time and privacy, that I have.

The last major BEST decision though, I made for myself, is to disengage, as much as possible,  from social media.

Without quitting it completely.

And in my case, I’ve never felt that I’m in competition with ANYONE, which I think social media drives.

But in my case, social media, for how I used it, would be a really bad and sad reminder of my failures compared to my FORMER self, which is the only competition I put on myself and fail miserably,  of how functional and productive I used to be, prior to the last 11-12 years of my life, which is now a quarter of my life, now that I’m 48 years old.

Most people, the few of them that I encounter, are  kind of surprised of what I’ve chosen to do with this little life that I have.

Lots of times, I don’t feel well enough to go anywhere or do much, but possess a strange skill set and a desire to help people in medical and/or mental health crisis (with the urging they have to be under the care of clinically trained professionals, which I’m not) and that I’m kinda good at it, with obvious boundaries for myself and others, for what I’m willing and capable of doing, in the areas I do activism for, and where I help people when they email me for help.

It takes a lot of unnecessary pressure off, when people focus to do things, with an absence of social media, either to NOT  be motivated by it, in attempts to NOT  be an influencer and to NOTto have it as a default distraction.

Even if someone makes a living off of social media, no one needs to make their complete lives on it.

When I tell other clinical professionals who I don’t know, in the medical and/or mental health realm what I do or ask what I can do better when I run across them, in my advocacy, I do find that most of the time, my inability to be influenced by social media and/or let anyone influence me, in any way, that what I don’t do or do and/or what I do say and or don’t say, is driven soley by myself, they find the most challenging thing in dealing with me.

WHY, though???

I’m hardly an admirable person, by any account.

I’m not looking to be, nor am I someone to be looked up to.

But I’m not someone to be feared, either.

I know how my disabilities can be of a negative effect on me and/or when provoked, makes me mean to others, which is all I’m capable of.

I’ve made some AWFUL decisions, which I still can do stupid things on occasion but am honest, but I also I make a lot of good ones, in hoping to do the right thing.

When NO ONE is looking.

I don’t understand though, as I don’t judge others who find that the various social media platforms, DO  have a strong influence on how they conduct their lives.

It just DOES NOT for me.

It can’t.

I came into having medical, mental health and cognitive defects by various complex organic, circumstancial and environmental reasons.

I don’t need and it would be a disaster for me and I do believe it does hinder other’s health and wellbeing, being so emotionally, mentally and cognitively dependent on all the things that go along with having a social media and technology driven society, now a days.

It’s not like we can go back in time and change the technologies outcomes both good and bad.

But it’s not too late, to make more of what’s on social media, that does a greater good for people, that doesn’t effect desired financial outcomes, which not all of it is bad, other than the intentional addiction seeking behavior of some technical products and services.

But these are the following the questions, that people have to ask themselves, given the fact that even people, who have done so much good in their lives, are ending their lives and others lives, both intentionally and maliciously or not,  or they interfere in multiple ways, for others right to the sanctity of life, with peace of mind, in the worst ways possible.

So here it goes:

What are you doing and thinking, that could be hurtful to oneself or others, that might have a foundation in a social media driven society and what can you do, to make it less harmful for yourselves and other people?

Can you ask for genuine help and get it, from clinical medical health and mental professionals, as well as families and/or peers when in distress or crisis?

And if you can’t or choose NOT to get any kind of help, how does that adversely and/or can you positively change the outcome of your own thought processes so it doesn’t lead to negative action on oneself or another, all the time, some of the time and on rare occasions?

Asking and knowing why, it makes the difference of why it matters, of the dependence in thinking of others knowing what you say, do and what you look like when you do them, due to our social media driven society and knowing what’s good about it and what is even unintentionally harmful to self or others, in this day and age.

There is NO ego with this blog.

I’m the first one to admit, I have way more questions than valid helpful answers, in trying to help those in crisis, not hurt themselves or others.

All I’m trying to do with my own disabilities, bad choices and my own flaws and as well as the few strengths that I have, is to help myself and to help others, in things that matter the most, in what I’m able to so little but try to contribute somehow, positively.

No one has to answer the above questions out loud, to me or another, unless someone is a danger to themselves or others, which will require acute professional help.

But the questions asked above are worthy of asking yourself and evaluating, of how, what, where and why, you think of  yourself and others, when they’re not looking, in good ways and bad.

Or the when and why, you’re actually driven to make or want  them to look at what you’re doing and saying and how you look, when you’re doing that.

Note: I’m all for constructive feedback, which can be a difference of opinion, as long as it’s shared respectfully. Thanks!!!

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