It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

So, it’s the eve of my 46th birthday (which I’m also in the middle of a blog regarding my 45th year) when the following link makes it into my Facebook newsfeed AND causes me to hyperventilate:

Good thing, I decided to actually read the link. Thank goodness, I’m violently allergic to Metformin, found that out last year, as while I have an a1c of 3, I was put on it for metabolic issues (I have slow metabolism and hypothyroidism, I’m also violently allergic to Synthroid, which I had tried the year before, last)

Now, it’s nothing short of multiple miracles that I’m still alive. And because I’m a mental health activist who wants to remove stigma regarding suicide and is an advocate for suicide prevention, I need to choose my following words, very carefully.

For those who want to live a really long life and think that as we make strides in medicine for that to happen, is a GOOD thing, more power to you and I hope you get what you want.

I’m not suicidal in any way. So don’t mistake what I’m about to say as wanting to die.

HOWEVER,  I have absolutely NO desire to live a really long life. Both my maternal and paternal grandmothers lived to their late 90’s (Both were 98 at the time of their deaths, to be exact) one died with her memory and faculties intact after a 7 year bout with colon cancer. The other died a year later, having her faculties intact into her early 90’s but had dementia, the last several years that she was alive.

I’m not in any way trivializing those who want to live the longest life possible and/or being pro-suicide when I say that if I had to choose between living another FUCKING 50+ years or dying right now, I’d choose the latter.

In a heartbeat or hopefully, lack of one (PLEASE don’t take this comment as my mocking the seriousness of heart disease, not trying to offend anyone who’s lost a loved one due to heart disease or who’s had to battle it).

I would like to think those who I love the most and love me the most (i.e. my children) , would appreciate that my desire not to live a long life, has absolutely NOTHING  to do with my love for them, and EVERYTHING to do with becoming so bizarrely disabled in my 30’s. At the rate I’m going, I’m most likely going to need full time  care,  in an assisted care facility when I’m 50.

Maybe, I am over-analyzing and over reacting to  one article. But I really wish that while for those who’d benefit from a longer life, get that, that there were more medication options to enhance quality of life, medically, mentally and cognitively , for those  of us who suffer from severe chronic pain and other severe chronic health issues, that may not be acutely fatal, but cause a great reduction in one’s quality of life.

So, I will make this a Question of The Day for my readers. What do you think about the article? Scientifically, do you think it has merit, as Metformin has been around for DECADES and they are just “discovering” this, now? Would you want to live past 100? Why or why not? Do you think it’s selfish to want to live a longer or shorter life, depending on one’s circumstances? Why or why not?

If you choose to answer, you don’t have to answer all the above questions. Just please, as always, make sure that your answers are respectfully from your perspective only, and hopefully because the whole “Obesity” issue with my being both a long term weight loss surgery peer and size acceptance advocate,  can be a trigger for some of my readers, please be mindful of that, while I still defend your right to speak YOUR truth.

It’s just not EVERY one’s…. Thanks………..

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