“Yeah I’m gonna take the high road and do what the preacher told me to do, you keep messing up and I’ll keep praying for you”
“Pray for You”-Jaron and The Long Road to Love
Soooooooo. I was chatting with someone local via Facebook, but that I never met, earlier today and the question that I most loathe to be asked, comes up.
That question would be “how are you?”……
While I know both what my blessings and what the bad things in my life are, I’m not one of those people who has severe chronic pain and says I’m “fine” when I’m NOT.
Depending on though who’s asking, will usually dictate how I answer. In this case, this person found me via my blog ,because of weight loss surgery and the nature of my association was more of my listening and that person venting, which was ok, she wasn’t the type of the person who sucked the life out of me, like some people who I have associations with, who think because I’m homebound a lot and disabled that I have all the time in the world for them and their issues, which have much more greater importance than mine.
Now, it’s relevant to this blog, that I reiterate that I live in Minneapolis and the Twin Cities is getting our first big snow of the season……
So, I actually honestly answer that I’m not feeling the best, but I’m grateful that I don’t have to go anywhere today and leave it at that.
Now I’m not the type of person to take screen shots (don’t know how and don’t wanna) of a conversation online. I try not to judge those who will publicly post private exchanges on social media, I wouldn’t like to be on the other side of that, so it’s not something that I’d opt to do.
But this is the reason for this blog. I basically was responded to, when I said I didn’t feel the greatest that I had to hear how “lucky” I was that I’m disabled enough not to have to drive or work anymore. That was almost said verbatim as well as being told “I’m ALMOST jealous of you”.
That’s not the first time I’ve had crap like that spewed on me. I just found it ironic that I got another instant message from a friend who said I should be grateful that “you don’t have to drive in this crap” at the same time (I can no longer drive due to my disabilities). As well as receiving an email this morning, from an ex, who had the stomach flu and “almost” felt sorry for me for how I felt when I was nearly dying for years of multiple g.i. bleeds, multiple times.
I guess what I’m asking and/or venting about, is what’s with all this passive aggressive bullshit??? I know I’m not the only one who has to put up with it, as social media (i.e in my case, Facebook) gives you insight on what your friends have to put up with, too.
When did having empathy for others become a lost art form? I understand that everyone has their own barriers and their own sad, if not devastating life stories. I have friends who’ve battled cancer and never once complained. I have friends who can’t have children or have had to bury them and they don’t look for pity. EVER.
I just don’t understand people who ask a question/s to another and are hoping for a negative response/outcome, that’s if they care at all, which they usually don’t, about an answer.
With everything I’ve ever did or said, I’ve never wanted to become the poster child of/for pity. I do complain a lot, but I also show gratitude a lot, which I think for me, is a good balance. I appreciate what’s been amazing in my life and realize I’ve survived some awful things, and while I’m damaged, I’m not completely shattered. I’m still living MY life, the best I can, with what I was dealt with, which is what most of us, do, even though we have different things that we are dealing with.
I guess I don’t get people who can constantly talk about saving sloths, trees and the environment, but don’t give a damn about another human being, at least in a meaningful way that’s not self serving.
This is what ended up happening though, in my conversation this morning. As I was a little more blunt than I usually am, because I’m getting REALLY sick of people who use others as an example of what they don’t want to be and couldn’t be clearer about their intentions. As I just told that person straight out, that I was not envious of them, AT ALL (which is true), wished them a safe commute and then went offline.
Which of course, got me unfriended and blocked on Facebook.
I don’t respond (well, at least directly) to those who don’t have my best interest at heart. And for those who do make it clear that I serve a self centered purpose in their lives, they don’t have that much power on how I feel about myself.
And that’s one of the points of this blog. I don’t have to wish people well who don’t have my best interest at heart. You don’t have to, either. While I think any type of physical or psychological revenge is NOT OK, the video posted above, does make me feel better, when people go out of their way to make me feel bad about myself and it might help you, my dear reader, as well.
Dr. Lisa’s prescription for those who are suffering from bullshititis via proxy…
Rx: Listen to “Pray for you” by Jaron and The Long Road to Love, max t.i.d. Also vent to a caring supportive person or you can vent on this blog.
And I’d also love to know when people will ever, learn? If you friend me on Facebook as a result of my blog, but then block me for some reason on Facebook, make sure ya unfollow me on WordPress, too, OK ?
And for those who care how I’m doing? Physical pain levels are actually kinda high and I can barely walk or stand and it hurts to even write. But when I think about how sick I still was 5 years ago, can’t complain too much.
Feel free to let me know how you are doing, when you get a chance whether things are going great to horrible….
Because, I do actually care…..
And for my haters: ” Just know wherever you are, near or far, in your house or in your car, in your house or in your car, wherever you are, honey, I pray for you, I pray for you”-Jaron and The Long Road to Love and I. 😉