It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

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Although it’s apparently absolutely OK to say it ABOUT someone’s face. Or body. Or unusual circumstances. In this instance, via direct message on Facebook. Especially if you are me and you make the mistake of updating a profile pic, like I did last night. It happened to be that, I had just gotten my haircut and a blow out, a few days ago, and last night I was supposed to go out, so I snapped a quick selfie, that I originally NEVER intended to post online. Just was curious, truthfully, because I have a slight tremor, of how I photographed, after doing my makeup, which I very rarely wear makeup. But I didn’t feel well and so I ended up not going out last night. Which I had said when posting pic and then I made that pic my Facebook profile pic.

While I have amazing amount of supportive and kind Facebook friends, I also of course, have Facebook buds, where I know based upon their actions and what they say or lack of them, that I’m their “DUFF”. I didn’t even know what DUFF meant (Designated Ugly Fat Friend) until a couple of weeks ago. But I know in my case, that I’m the DUFF (Disabled Ugly Fat Friend) to some, and it came out in 3 separate messages by 3 different people, since I posted that picture, in the last 24 hours.

Here’s the pic I posted last night on Facebook….

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“Wow… You look SO much better….”  Better than Godzilla, of how I usually look???

“OMG, Your hairstylist is an absolute MIRACLE worker, kudos on your DECENT profile pic….” Um… Okay….

“Wow, I wish I had the time to get my hair done all fancy like that. Are you gonna change your profile pic back, to what you normally look like?” Yeah… I’ll get right on that. I’m SURPRISED you even noticed as you usually are on vacation every other week….

Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK??? But the difference in this case, as I actually got unfriended and blocked, after these 3 people chose to say what they did to me, privately. Maybe I should embrace that the haters are now attaching their identities with their vitriol. I just found it odd, that not only did I get unfriended and blocked, that all 3 did not have a common an interest or social media tie, with anyone other than myself.

I get that I don’t have enviable looks or an enviable life. I’ve also been bullied my whole entire life and have suffered from horrible “justified” body dysmorphia. But let’s get something straightened out, right off the bat, as it applies to ME. Although I probably will regret admitting this.

DO NOT make the mistake of exchanging the words “cognitively disabled” with “STUPID”. I’m definitely NOT stupid. While MENSA is not beating down my door, I’m still fairly smart. However I used to be absolutely fucking BRILLIANT. And my loss of certain abilities, is nothing short of bizarre. While I have a tendency to try to concentrate on the positives that the internet and social media, brings to my life. But I’m not completely immune to the hate. As exhibited in my last 2 blogs. I just don’t let it ruin my life. I’ve had ENOUGH life ruining circumstances, but still try to concentrate on the good. And learn from the bad.

If what’s sucky about my life, makes your life seem great, well, it’s not myself or my unusual circumstances that are the problem. It’s someone’s need to benefit somehow from other people’s painful issues, and while I’m not a lot of great things, I’m not that devoid of a soul, to take comfort in other’s misery. Team Lisa 10 vs. Team Cowardly Hater 0.

It’s pathetic that for someone who doesn’t have a huge social media base, is not influential on social media, that the little things I do, compared to the big things, that I’ve experienced that are in this blog, ruffles so many people’s feathers.

About 8 months ago, I had gone on a long walk, and it was a big deal, given my disability sets. I also have strange health issues, such as being literally allergic to the sun, given my long term nutritional deficiencies. The clinical name for it, is Photophobia. I also have severe chronic pain issues, in addition to my neurological issues. The fact that I had walked 6 miles on this particular day, was a BIG deal. I also looked like I had been baked in an oven.

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The gems I got from this one, were also of the passive-aggressive variety……..

“Wow, I wish I could do that, but I have a JOB and have  to work…..” What’s that thing you speak of, work?

“Wow, you are BRAVE, posting a pic like that…” i.e brave=STUPID

“Are you sure it was a six mile walk???”… No.. It wasn’t. Ya busted me again for lying. It said 6 miles when I “mapquested” it. But you know how inaccurate MapQuest is. 6 miles is actually 6 blocks <dropping copious amounts of sarcasm>,  And the truth be told, I look like that, after 6 seconds on ANY sunny day, with my health issues.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words…. OR in my case, a thousand of unnecessary, passive-aggressive and rude comments. If you wouldn’t make the same comment to a clergy member or your beloved grandmother, about a picture, feel free to cease and desist, from doing this, on social media, OK? In my case, it’s not gonna be the end of me. But in others, you may really HURT someone, who’s super vulnerable. People who do shit like this, aren’t the geniuses they think they are. It’s a lot easier, but a lot more cruel, to try and go in for the kill, then it is to concentrate on what’s good about the people you surround yourself with on social media, and off it.

Just know if you make me your target, you didn’t ruin me. And usually while I won’t fight back, again, this is another warning, you won’t like what I have to say, if I actually fight back.

p.s. This blog sponsored by 2 out of the 3 people who unfriended me, but forgot to unfollow me on WordPress. Ain’t the first time. And this ain’t my first rodeo, K?

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Comments on: "Ummm….IF you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face…………" (2)

  1. I’m telling you Lisa, “self weeding garden”.

    I can’t tell you how many people get weeded out with the fuckin quickness, baby. I am a nice person. I used to get my feelers hurt and in a knot, but like you, I’m learning that I won my spot in this world and my Facebook and comment section, my breathing space in real life, My blog and comment section, my Twitter etc … key words are MINE. I will say my piece, I will also block you and not care if you say I’m a wuss for doing it. I will toss you out on your textual ear because the first amendment is in the US Constitution not the Chrissy Constitution. My house, my rules. I’m allowed to be treated with dignity, politeness, and acceptability. I own and have an obligation to be who I am in all my glory in the hopes of edifying other either by building them up or pissing them off (unintentionally of course)

    No one has to believe I have rare illnesses and they can get a bug up their ass that I’m disabled (which, by the way is pretty twisted up because if they really want to be home and have me go to work, they also have to take my tumors, nodules, emphysema, cushings, tics, possible seizures, cognitive disorders, chronic sudden hives with anaphylaxis, etc etc etc etc and I will happily go back to living a life free of pain and illness. It just shows you hows totally fucked their head is.)

    The fact is, I clean up well, and they can suck it. I look good when I try and you look adorable whether or not you try but some days you’re tired, or sick, and you looked exceptionally good and it struck them in the self esteem. Let them simmer in their own crap because no one can take them out of it but themselves because no one put them there but themselves.

    Just shine on and let your garden weed itself

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