I get privately asked a lot of why I still remain in the weight loss surgery community when I am reversed. Part of it because I like people and weight loss surgery is one component of their lives. The other is because well I had weight loss surgery, I lived my life and truthfully, nearly died for almost 9 years before my gastric bypass was undone in 2010, with a rny as a tool.
I still also after over 3 1/2 years of being status post open gastric bypass reversal can relate to a lot of people in the weight loss surgery community.
I am not a “weight loss surgery specific blogger”. For many reasons. Not just because I’m reversed and didn’t keep off most of my excess weight. However I do still remain a part of the weight loss surgery community online and on Facebook.
There always has and always will be drama and hate in any online community. The weight loss surgery community is no different. My opinion is that a lot of us are online whether we are weight loss surgery peers or women and men, who’ve been of weight, looking for distraction, of not wanting to think about eating or food. This is not a weight loss surgery specific issue, either.
We aren’t all going to like each other. Some people aren’t meant to be friends at all. Or the relationships only are seasonal. But whether it’s weight loss surgery specific, there will always be drama and there always will be haters.
So I guess the question that I’m going to ask and am going to answer is what do you with people where it’s obvious that “hate” became their transfer addiction in the weight loss surgery community?
You can be a part of it and not engage in drama or hateful actions. Or you can choose to walk away (because I’ve been a part of a group mentality at one time, and while I never did anything, I also let someone for a short period of time do my thinking for me, and ended up saying things I wasn’t proud of, to a certain group of people and had to apologize). You definitely don’t have to own it,forever. Either by engaging at all, or if you have by removing yourself from the person causing the drama and hate.
Absolutely NO ONE has any right to tell you how to think, feel or act in the weight loss surgery community, online. Whether you loved your weight loss surgery journey or you regret everyday that you had weight loss surgery. You are entitled to feel what you feel. And no one has the right to make you feel bad about what your opinions are or who you are, if they aren’t causing harm to another.
If you don’t like the “hating and drama” that end up does happening in the weight loss surgery community, your best bet is to just not engage. Even when some people will go out of their way to hurt any one of us, because there ARE people who will go way out of their way to hurt you and those you care about. Because what happens sadly, when hate becomes THEIR transfer addiction and you let it affect the way you live your life, shame and sadness becomes yours. And you don’t deserve that, OK? And given the magnitude of the hate and drama that I’m seeing, towards some of my fellow wls peers that I adore, I think legal action is going to be necessary. Do know others care and provide non judgmental support to the wls community if you find yourself a target by any hater. Especially one in particular who goes WAY OUT OF HER way, to cause harm to quite a few in the wls community.
This is my opinion… Now I’d like to know some of yours…..