It's not what you are eating, it's what's eating you…

It’s one of those days….SIGH..
So this is just what I get in anonymous “hate” mail, this morning…..
“Why do you continue to exist in the wls community??? Do you realize I, as well as others follow you as an example of what not to do, post wls????  Stop complaining about all your complications already!!!  Just because you epically failed your surgery and are really ugly, fat, stupid  and a sick pathetic sow, doesn’t mean everyone else will have the problems you probably brought on yourself!!!!!!
 You SUCK!!!
From a grateful gastric bypass patient who’s happier and healthier and has been maintaining a 250 lb weight loss for 4 years and is a size 8. Never going back, thanks for being an incentive!!! ”
************************************
Hmmmm, Really????
Now if you know of  me by now, or if you don’t know, I *NEVER* respond back to any of my anonymous “hate” emails, privately, if you are Facebook buds or follow me on here, or anywhere. Because usually it’s not the first time I’m hearing the same hateful drivel.  So I don’t respond at all… OR

I, publically respond at the source. On social media. I figured I’d use my blog, this time as I’ve been working on for like FOREVER a way of trying to explain why I’m both in the weight loss surgery community and as a size acceptance/fat acceptance advocate. And can’t quite articulate the way I want to, so I figure this blog and today’s hate email would be a good way to basically state that no one is better or worse for being thin or for being fat.Someone who’s assholery has no bounds is going though to get an uber bitchy snarky  response back, though….And cuz’ I’m not a cowardly anonymous hater, if I believe in something I’m willing to attach my identity to it. So here’s my response back..On WP and Facebook….********************************************************

Dear Size 8, 250 lb lighter, HATER,      I don’t know why you felt the need to send me such a hateful email. I try to help others both in the weight loss surgery community as a  resource and long term peer and in the size acceptance/fat acceptance community as I think that we live in a society  where it’s repugnant that fat hatred, bigotry and oppression exists. I still defend my right, your right or anyone else’s right to do what they want with their bodies.

Up to including losing weight, by any means they see fit, up to and including weight loss surgery.  I am only happy for my fellow weight loss surgery peers who are happier and healthier for having weight loss surgery and feel better for keeping excess weight off. For any reason. I do believe everyone though has a right to tell their story, in the weight loss surgery community.I also hope though that people of all sizes can live their lives and not be targeted for such reasons as weight. I hope by doing the advocacy I do, that people don’t hate themselves or feel like they are failures because we live in a society that says you have to be a certain weight or look a certain way to be acceptable. My losses were huge in of abilities, other then the fact I didn’t lose my life with my gastric bypass complications…Once I became disabled to the degree I was, being fat wasn’t the worst thing ever to happen to me. But I was never superficial enough to think that after my weight loss surgery I was better then anyone or that anyone else was bad for being fat. I just had my own baggage from the time I was young from being bullied as a young child till I had my gastric bypass…

I however will be DAMNED, if I have to put up with shit from someone who’s “journey” has been a 1/3 of mine. Actually it’s irrelevant how far post op you are. But…As long as your making notes and judgements about my “journey”, let me suggest some things about your own……….

Your need to lose 250 lbs to be a size 8, people who hate fat people would say that “How the FUCK did you get that FAT in the first place??? You know how shitty it is to feel that way. Why would you do that to someone else? And if you believe in what you say, why do you do it anonymously?

I didn’t have complications post weight loss surgery to either get attention or piss anyone off. It really doesn’t matter of why I had the regain I did, because it doesn’t make me any less better or worse for any reason for weight regain and/or complications post gastric bypass in the weight loss surgery community for those of us who’ve had regain. Just like people are naturally thin are not any better then people who’ve had weight loss surgery to lose weight. And just like people who are fat aren’t any better OR worse then anyone who’s thin, whether they elect to do something about their weight or NOT.

I wouldn’t wish my complications on anyone. Including people who hate on me, like you. But I will leave you with this. If I  lost 250 lbs at my very heaviest either before or after gastric bypass, I’d weigh a -17 lbs. I also kept off my excess weight for 6 years. So feel free to check in with me, then. Or how in 8 years from now which will put you to almost 12 years post gastric bypass, like I am? Which honestly my weight fluctuates and I’m at the point where I’m about ONLY 8 sizes smaller now, then my heaviest, which I’ve kept off a little under have my excess weight. Which was a 100 lbs, if you really need to know, the week of my gastric bypass. While I’m not the smallest person in size and fat acceptance nor is that an issue. Because there are a lot of people who believe that no one should be hated for their size, kinda like that should be a human right….

But here’s your “congratulations” on being SMALL on so MANY levels…I’d venture to guess it’s been a lot longer then 4 years!!!! See you at 12 years post op …..

Until then though, I can only leave you with this. Don’t judge others. If you don’t like someone on social media, instead of hating on them, try apathy.

Oh and by the way.. UM, FUCK YOU!!!

Lisa……

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Comments on: "This “sow” fights back……." (3)

  1. I’ve had people leave comments on my blog (in the past, they pretty much leave me alone now) telling me I should die already, or they just have the word “PIG” repeated over and over in larger and larger font sizes going down several pages. Like I ever gave a rat’s ass about the opinions of people I don’t know, will never know, and will never ever meet in real life. That’s why comments are moderated on my blog and why only friends can post on my Facebook page.
    I’ve dealt with that kind of hate and drama for too many years to want to do it any more, so I just tend to laugh at the pettiness of the haters, delete the email/comment and go on about my day. Most of the time, all they want is a reaction – to know that they’ve hurt you in some way, made your day less happy in some way, even if it’s just for a few seconds. I refuse to give them the satisfaction. Ignoring them hurts them more than anything because that tells them that what they think, what they have to say, is of no importance. And they hate that, because, to them, everything they think/say is of the utmost importance to the whole world. Galls them no end to find out they’re wrong……..lol

  2. There are a myriad of reasons, both physiological and psychological that any one of us get fat. You can say its simply calories in and calories out. That’s true in most cases. (Don’t even get me started on the metabolism angle…seriously, you don’t want that battle with me, you just don’t, put away your keyboard. In fact, I’ll close that gate, the horse has left the stall.) Even if we simply go by mechanics…the good engineers is still going to want to know WHY…what went wrong? WHY did the machine go crazy and overfill itself, how can it be fixed? CAN it be fixed? Sure, we can make it empty itself regardless of how often it overfills itself by putting in another switch, but can we fix the original problem? Can we look at the machine and fix what was wrong with the machine to begin with? Some of us don’t want to be fixed. Some of us just want to just look fixed. Some of us only want to look fixed so we can go around hurting others who want to be fixed inside as well as outside, out of a sense of spite, jealousy, one-up-manship and in some cases, psychopathy fueled by mob mentality.

    The problem with the “only looking fixed” approach is, it doesn’t work, not for longer than about ten minutes. Then anyone with an emotional IQ above a heating pad can feel you out and is repulsed permanently.

    The WLS world, the Fat World….the human world….ain’t a hot bed of mental health.

    As my niece recently said to me “You keep doing you.”

    By the way…I expect a few comments coming my way any time now. After the past two months, I have balls of steel. Everything slides off.

  3. Lisa, that person who wrote the “hate” letter obviously has serious issues of her own – the surgery does not help the head stuff. If she was 250 lbs overweight, she had a serious food addiction. That being said, you are looking wonderful, Lisa – healthy and good looking too! I hope you keep putting out your information because it is most helpful to those seeking info on the surgery! ❤

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